Rodney V. Smith
DVXFest Promo Guru
Well damn: looks like I'll be moving to Fresno for a bit. :grin: Good to have a city so accessible to filmmakers.
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Glad you went the zombie route. That was a great location for it too. Where did you find that location anyway? It gives it the right grit and space needed for a piece like this.
I like the opening tension, title sequence... nicely done and gets us amped up and into the story in a solid 30 seconds. Story-wise, I dig the simplicity and I like how you approached it. It's a very easy to understand conflict and perfect for the short film format.
You've got a lot of cool moments in here but I had some issues following some of the performances and that was probably the one thing that bugged me here. First off... the girl, knowing the ending, I feel we were too deliberately misled. She comes across as someone very committed and willing to do whatever is necessary... she's very certain that whatever happened to the brother will result in his transformation. So she'd have to be certain that she would also change... yet she flat out lies to the healthy brother that she is fine... and she also seems very calm and collected during her "what are we going to do... we don't have a choice" bits. I'd prefer to have some legitimate foreshadowing which on a second viewing would make it all make sense... whereas I'm currently feeling like it's a twist sprung from nowhere. Did I miss something? A small detail somewhere?
I like the performance of the injured brother... he goes from a frightened state to an angry one quite well and it's extreme (yes) but I liked it. I'd like it even more though if the healthy brother had been less animated and vocal. He took me out of it at times.
The ending shot is very cool and definitely my favorite bit of the film. Cinematography wise, my only comment would be to light more of the space. It had a little bit of a stage-like feel to it because the background just rolled off into darkness. I couldn't tell if it was shot outside or in a warehouse (from a physical production sense). And I would have liked to have seen some practical lights as well. I think the lack of seeing any lights also gave it that theatrical look to it IMO.
I did enjoy this film and watched it a few times to get a better sense of the whole picture you were trying to paint. It's a good film and worthy of a more in-depth response. Thanks for sharing.
As far as the lighting goes, it was actually lit naturally that way. We just enhanced it a bit. The overhead lighting was from a skylight, and the injured brother was lit with a practical overhead. It was out of frame, but it was there. We thought about hanging a bulb from the ceiling but I think Troy decided it looked to cheesy, and we didn't have time. The sidelight that lit the brick wall was a little flat and untextured looking, but that is what happens when you have such a big soft light. We were slaves to the little 2kw inverters! We didn't have a choice to use a smaller harder source light because the power issue. I disagree that it looks like stage lighting because stage lighting is usually overhead back lit with hard lighting, and then a flat spot lighting specific portions of the stage, but I think I know what you mean. The key difference between stage type lighting and our film is the shadow on the actors faces. I do agree that the light falls off into blackness, but that was a choice. We didn't want people focused on the background. Also the blackness doesn't allow you to know what is out there and adds more tension that something could come at any moment. Also that is, like I said, what the natural lighting did in the room. We could have added a little more depth to the visuals with more light but I don't think it would have added to the film personally, especially without more production design decorating the rest of the set! What we were missing, and Troy had it planned, was a wider shot that showed a little more of where they were, as well as some of the flashback footage of them carrying him up the stairs into the building. I think this would have helped a ton. Thanks for the comments on the lighting! I love hearing them. I'm a lighting guru, so I appreciate anything anyone says about the lighting design!Cinematography wise, my only comment would be to light more of the space. It had a little bit of a stage-like feel to it because the background just rolled off into darkness. I couldn't tell if it was shot outside or in a warehouse (from a physical production sense). And I would have liked to have seen some practical lights as well. I think the lack of seeing any lights also gave it that theatrical look to it IMO.
Come on over, er up, er um down. Where are you coming from again. Well either way, We'd love to have you! There are a few of us film fanatics here that actually go to city hall to fight to keep the film commissioners job regularly, so that is what kind of town this is! *MUMBLES "and they call Fresno the armpit of California! Maybe in the summer time!"Well damn: looks like I'll be moving to Fresno for a bit. :grin: Good to have a city so accessible to filmmakers.
This one was good but I think the running time for what it was was a bit too much. Rather than building tension, you were beginning to lose me in the middle...it just seemed to go on forever and you had me asking him to shoot him already. You had a nice surprise at the end but there was really nothing to hint that it might happen. How come they knew about the brother's injury but missed her?
I loved the sound of the rain but didn't care as much for the CG rain at the beginning and end.
I don't think you needed the flashback. It really didn't do anything for the story other than remind me how long the "waiting to shoot the brother" scene was running.
I thought you did a pretty good job on the transformation and wet blood...not so much on the dried blood on his clothing.
Overall, I liked it, but it could use some tightening.
Real? Wow, it didn't look it. I guess I'll have to retract that complaint.agree on the length of the screaming, a little lengthly, but the rain at the beginning and end was real. No CG... but thank you so much for your view and comments. It really does help me as a filmmaker.![]()
Excellent film, Troy. I liked the story, location and lighting. Everything looked good and sounded good as well. Of course the score was good as well. One thing I noticed right away (which is an easy fix) was the lack of sound when the brother was chained against the wall. The whole time he fights and screams as hard as he does, we never hear the chains rattle. That's a small thing, but adding that sound in that scene would really help, I think. Now, if there is some there and I missed it, then my bad. I thought the fx on the gunshot was good, but there was something about it that seemed a little off. Not sure. Maybe the sound wasn't loud enough. I'll have to go back and watch.
Anyway, the camera is amazing and your shots were excellent. Nice!!
Wow, this was very powerful. A simple story, perfect for a short, and you managed to keep on pumping up the tension - the excellent score helped a lot there. The opening sequence, closing shot and close-up at 4.30 were magnificent. Two small criticisms: I don't think you needed the flash back in the middle and the man is all chained up with nice new stainless steel bolts (where did they find those in all that hurry!). Overall a very polished entry, thanks.