"Turning Point" - A Hawk Teflon short

Hawk! Wow man, your best work yet, real marked growth here.

Believable acting, solid choices in camera work, good production value.

I think you could have improved your overall story by more carefully setting the moments. Like start on the shot of the door, then cut to the character looking at it (or viceversa) then go to them talking. Also cutting down on the dialogue and giving them more subtext. But all in all it works, bravo!
 
Shawn Philip Nelson said:
Hawk! Wow man, your best work yet, real marked growth here.

Believable acting, solid choices in camera work, good production value.

I think you could have improved your overall story by more carefully setting the moments. Like start on the shot of the door, then cut to the character looking at it (or viceversa) then go to them talking. Also cutting down on the dialogue and giving them more subtext. But all in all it works, bravo!
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Many thanks.

I agree. I really need to learn where other angles will fit better. I had the footage of the door, and a wide of the house (though it was a little too "alias-y" on the roof), so I can't say I didn't have the option.
 
Imaginate said:
I liked this scene, and how you covered it. The actors did a great job. I wondered if a polarizer filter might have helped with the windshield shot. I think the one things that kept me hanging through the whole dialog was that it sounded so natural and focused on the problem that this guy was having with his father, and the more he talked the more on edge I became because I knew that without a doubt that any second now some absolutly freaky sh$% was going to happen and I didn't know where it was gonna come from. So you can understand how let down I was when nothing of the sort happened.

I think as filmmakers we need to know our technical craft but we also need to understand GENRE and how important it really is. It's the fundemental way that we relate to stories... we dont watch movies we watch genres.... If my wife wants romantic comedy and I bring back a spy thriller, there is hell to pay.

As a filmmaker to promise one genre and deliver another might be one of the most heinous sins of all. As much as I like the scene and your actors performance I have dock marks for 'Genre Bad Behavior' ( can you tell I have kids? )
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Sorry to disappoint, man. We contemplated a couple different endings, but I stuck with this one. I didn't want to cheapen it up with just a quick scare or something, you know? That might have hurt me in the end, but I don't regret my decision.
 
Beautifully acted and a great script. The dialog seemed natural and very real.
Excellent sound.
I thought visually you came up just short. Composition and lighting were fine, but such a static scene needed a bit of camera movement to really sell it. A little more contrast in the grading might have helped, too. No biggy, just my obsevation.
I'm not going into the genre thing, you've been there and done that and explained your reasoning. Nuff said.
One thing did really bother me - and this is not payback! - I didn't like the font in your titles and credits. Seemed like this piece needed clean, stark graphics, not "old gnome" or whatever it was.

Nice piece of filmmaking, pro all the way. You get better each fest.
 
Thanks, taylor. Yeah, there were a few shots I wanted in motion, but it was with both Marlon and I in the shot, so we couldn't move it without some weird counter balance system that I wasn't willing to rig up on my $80 tripod (oh yeah! it was the top of the line at Best buy in 2004!)

Ha ha! That's so funny about the font choice! :grin:
 
And here we have it folks, the first official font battle! Ok I just looked at Hawk's font, i think he was going for a wild west feel? Maybe to represent a "mental showdown" of sorts?
 
Who knew that Marlon, the Zombie-kiling, fast-talking, don't-mess-with-me, action hero... who also can play Psycho killer could turn out to be soooooo......

NICE!

Nice to see layers to your acting chops, Marlon. Well, done!

Hawk - good to see that you used two actors who actually "spoke" to each other during the film. My complaint is well, you didn't interact enough with Marlon. Your eyes hit the distance more than they did his, though I know it's contemplation, you still have to look over and actually "feed off each others lines."

This was not a scarefest short, should have been in exhibition and done for fun (looking at you too, Zaza). I did feel a little claustrophobic in the one location, but I knew it was a quick short, so I had no real expectations here.

I know you don't like horror. I'm not a fan of gore or creepy stuff, having said that, by entering, you should have given us "something." I would have settled for the father to be a drag queen, but that's just me.
 
It starts good, good actors, good sound, good framing... and a doubt weather or not it's the right house.

Suddenly the sound is different.... Was the boom a lot lower now ? It doesn't sound as lavs... Or maybe lavs hidden somewhere in the car....

aaaaaaaaah, 2:47 "I'm pretty sure it is"... Only left...

I would start the music 2 seconds earlier, it's not long, but I think the effect will be better.

Great story it is. A different kind of "being scared". Great acting. Nice shots.
 
Charli said:
This was not a scarefest short, should have been in exhibition and done for fun.
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Sure it was. I entered it, the mods approved it, and it was added to the list of videos in ScareFest.

Charli said:
I know you don't like horror. I'm not a fan of gore or creepy stuff, having said that, by entering, you should have given us "something." I would have settled for the father to be a drag queen, but that's just me.
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Now ... in your example, had I used the father being a drag queen, would that have scared YOU or would it have scared the character? I can't see how that would have really scared the viewer at all. So I'm not sure how what I made and your vision of what's scary (scaring the character, not the viewer) are any different.
 
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Thanks guys for all the reviews and kind words. I was super excited to be apart of another Hawk Teflon film! Hawk definitely keeps me alive in these fests. Sure wish I had more time to enter myself. Maybe next time!

I've read some of the reviews about the genre and how it relates to this story, so I'll chime in. Yes, this was scarefest and I think whether or not this film fits expectations of how it is supposed to be (or how scary) is kind of irrelevant. The film fit the guidelines according to the mods and that should be enough. Yes, it was a different take, but as we all know something that scares one person makes another person laugh. For example, some people are scared of a post-apacolyptic world. Some people aren't. Just check out Craig and Tyrone Jones in "Bad To The Jones" (senseless plug). :Drogar-BigGrin(DBG) I think no matter what the story is, it's important that the characters in the film show a fear of something, because let's face it, if they aren't scared the audience won't be either. I thought this was a refreshing and different take for the fest and I'm not saying that, because Hawk paid me to (hint). Anyway, regardless of all that, I'm glad that you guys enjoyed the film and Hawk continues to improve as an indie filmmaker (and though he sells himself short, an excellent actor) and I can't wait to see what he comes up with next. Now, maybe I can get some time to watch the rest of the films or. . .read up more on the RED Scarlett that I'll never be able to getbecausetheyliedandsaiditwouldbecheaperanditfinallycameoutandisoutofmydarnpricerangealongwithalotofotherpeoplewhattheheckiswrongwiththem.
 
Quick Review.

First a point(based on some comments Ive read). This was scarefest - how an individual interprets the scare component - is well up to the individual.

That said however, as this fest was a Halloween release fest - like others I would have preferred some straight out scares.

Marlon, enjoyed your performance, actually was good from both sides. It was simple and delivered something meaningful.
 
Just because the entry abiding by the rules, I had same problem with "Johnny Angel." What I interpreted as a monster was not well received. The main character has "anxiety" issues. There isn't anything here that's a scarefest. Just because you slipped through the cracks doesn't mean you executed the thrill, suspense or "fear." It's a dramafest entry.
 
SPOILER ahead

Feel like if meeting the dad to the character in the car is true fear, then this is appropriate. The dad’s history, we are assuming is good. The back story on the dad the house, is assumed to be were he is living, alive and not a Creature. But if I did see a Creature my comment would be" I knew what was behind the door as soon as he rang/rung the bell, what did you make the Creature's feet out of, cool costume?."
 
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