The Rook Moves - a Shawn Nelson film

Shawn,

This is your best effort yet. Yours was the first film I have had the chance to watch. Really liked it a lot. Very well done.
 
Some personal sound details:

- the fade in at the beginning, I find it a little to long

- during the shoot I think there was some kind of "hiss wind" which you wanted to be covered as much as possible by better wind and sounds ?
a good noise reduction plugin would do a lot here. But that costs about 1000 - 3000 for a good one. Maybe a high cut EQ could help also.
But it's better to have a continuous sound, rather then "up and downs"

the sound of the chess-pawn falling is very nice.

storywise also very nice.
 
Good job, Shawn and congratulations on making it to round 2... (I don't think there was any doubt on this one.)
 
Anthony Todaro said:
You're welcome. Thanks for not spoiling it. I picked up the 'tell' on the second pass. It's strikingly visual and you accentuated it well but I still missed it on the first pass and I mean missed it. I now know why. It's the lift in the music during the first turn. I think that does a psychological number on the viewer, which you were obviously going for, but I think a more subtle transition musically will allow us to be more visually aware, at that particular moment. It's subtle nit picky polish. It works as is and you certainly did achieve your layers. Kudos.

UPDATE: And then there's that other OBVIOUS thing I missed... You know the feeling when you are looking for you pencil and it's behind your ear? Yeah, just had it. Yet another layer was revealed just moments ago. Funny how the most obvious was the last one I got. Tightly woven.

DON'T CHANGE A THING!
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he he he :) This post made my day. i hope that everyone goes back and watches my short a few more times to pick up all that's going on. That's all I'll say. Thanks again.
Brandon Rice said:
Shawn,

This is your best effort yet. Yours was the first film I have had the chance to watch. Really liked it a lot. Very well done.
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Thanks Brandon! I really appreciate that. I was trying something new.

dre83 said:
Some personal sound details:

- the fade in at the beginning, I find it a little to long

- during the shoot I think there was some kind of "hiss wind" which you wanted to be covered as much as possible by better wind and sounds ?
a good noise reduction plugin would do a lot here. But that costs about 1000 - 3000 for a good one. Maybe a high cut EQ could help also.
But it's better to have a continuous sound, rather then "up and downs"

the sound of the chess-pawn falling is very nice.

storywise also very nice.
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Thanks! I'm sure Alan will pop in here at some point and see this.

Blaine said:
Good job, Shawn and congratulations on making it to round 2... (I don't think there was any doubt on this one.)
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Thanks Blaine! When I made it I felt DVXusers would pass it over in favor of action, fx, chase scenes or horror/suspense. In fact, this is the first film that I made "knowing" it would get clobbered at the fest. But maybe this touching little drama can be the little short that could? We'll see!
 
The little short that could. I told ya it was good, Shawn. Trust the writer, I wouldn't lie to ya! Congrats!
 
Shawn Philip Nelson said:
When I made it I felt DVXusers would pass it over in favor of action, fx, chase scenes or horror/suspense. In fact, this is the first film that I made "knowing" it would get clobbered at the fest. But maybe this touching little drama can be the little short that could? We'll see!
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Would you be implying that your short is the underdog?
 
I have generally interpreted underdog to mean "disadvantaged"...

Sente Sente was in good favor with Callaghan but there have been several dvxuser's give you the blessing of 1st.
 
Hi everyone,

This is Alan, the sound designer and re-recording mixer for The Rook Moves. I first want to thank the DVXUser family and community for bringing this fest to us and the world. Two big thumbs up to Shawn and his undeniably strong cast and crew for making this happen. Should any of you have questions regarding the sound aspect of things for this production, ring me. I'll do my best to answer them as deligently as possible to fill in the missing blanks.
 
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Hi Andre,
Thanks for giving some insight regarding sound.

Some personal sound details:

- the fade in at the beginning, I find it a little to long
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I believe the fade in was done by Shawn himself rather than any one of us (Justin, AJ, Joshua, myself). I guess I could say it was a director's vision, but we left it as a sudden seque into the story.


- during the shoot I think there was some kind of "hiss wind" which you wanted to be covered as much as possible by better wind and sounds ?
a good noise reduction plugin would do a lot here. But that costs about 1000 - 3000 for a good one. Maybe a high cut EQ could help also.
But it's better to have a continuous sound, rather then "up and downs"
Click to expand...

Are you referring this "hiss wind" to the production dialog or the AMB/BG tracks? When the project was given to me I never noticed any hiss wind nor sound that you're describing on any of the production tracks, good selection of microphones and recording techniques by the crew. If you say it's the Ambience and Background tracks, then maybe, but I've never felt too hissy in my POV. There was a total of 8 AMB/BG tracks to fill it really well, 1 mono to match the production sound and 7 Mid-Side stereo AMB/BG tracks for the rest.


the sound of the chess-pawn falling is very nice.
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It's all PFX, no add'l FX added to enhance it except for the score, an accent at the right time, and mixing it with huge swells and dynamics (thanks to the production sound team for the chess PFX). I gave Justin's score some good justice as promised. :)
 
I think this is your best work yet (certainly from what I've seen).

To get the minor gripes out of the way, I felt some of the acting from the couple was a bit forced and you perhaps didn't need so much dialogue to accompany the reveal. Just a personal thing, but I think I would have had this the last time she saw him, to give it more of an 'end game' feeling. The end of the chess game could also symbolise the end of his dependancy on her. If they are meeting again tomorrow I didn't quite get the whole 'checkmate' ending, but it would have worked if she was never coming back to him and this was the last time they saw each other.

The score is IMO what makes this film soar. It's so so good. Justin did an amazing job which takes the film to a different level.

I did like the use of the 300m lens as it made his world more personal and contained. I maybe would have kept that lens confined to 'his' world, and used a wider lens for the perspective of the outsiders looking in.

Overall though this is a fine example of a simple story well told and not outstaying it's welcome. IMO it's a huge leap over your past work.

You should finish very high with this.
 
Yep agreed Darkline - (I mean i won't repeat feedback here Shawn cos we discussed it chatting haha) congrats on the top 5
 
CallaghanFilms said:
[thisguy]Rook would have made my list in grand fashion, had it not been for the characters of Mister Xposition and Miss Plotty. You know me...you know that I'm a story-guy to the core:beer:[/thisguy]
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If the dialogue had been "I dont get it Doctor Thomas, why does our patient come to the park every day and pretend to play chess with his dead sister who died a year ago in a car wreck?"
"Well you see 1st year intern Lily, this kid has been my patient for a year and I wanted you to figure it out, but since you can't i'll give you a hint, this was where they would play chess every day when she was alive and going to school."

But as it is, I don't think it's expositional or plotty at all. But that's fine to disagree, at the end of the day all we really have is our judgement in taste as directors and this is mine.
 
Not a critique but just a question:

Did you ever consider exchanging the Rook for a Pawn?
i know the term pawn gets (over)used as a term for something that is used/sacrificed for the greater good but in the case, since you use "moves" in the title i'm wondering if this wouldn't draw attention to the fact that pawns can ONLY move forward and not the above, more common usage. Since the story is about the kid moving on (ie forward from his trauma) it occurred to me that he is in some ways like a pawn: He's not moving forward, so he's stuck.

Just a curiosity point more than anything.
 
Good job on this guys and gals.

It was a little bit too "The Sixth Sense". I think this story would have been better had it been able to develop over a longer period of time. The reveal seemed to happen too quickly, thus, to quote Chad, cue in Mr. Exposition and Ms. Plotty. It was necessary for the short amount of time you had to tell the story. If you left it too natural, at its length, people would be complaining, "I'm confused". I agree with your directorial decision in the context of the time limit.

The cinematography suffered from too much shallow DOF. Especially the last shot when she is walking away. It needed to be way deeper. The framing on that shot was kind of strange too. I would have shot it maybe a little further away. Let the table more in the shot. Let it breath. Let me see the surroundings, and then truly let the ghostly figure walk out of focus.

The acting left something to be desired. There needed to be more eye contact with almost every character involved. The Dr. looks off at the boy. The lady with him is attempting to make eye contact but never seems to take. The young woman playing chess, she was too involved with her devices and too many of them. I see what you were going after, but it was too much. I think the little kid did the best job of all.

Great job on the music Justin. I think this is one of your better scores.
 
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