The Rook Moves - a Shawn Nelson film

This was a well "shown" story into which you could throw the audience into it. Touching, sweet music, nice tone and overall beautifully photographed. Excellent choice of lens, worked great. I do wish however when the boy was moving his pieces that you had pulled back a little to see the chess pieces as well.

In competition chess you have to touch your pieces, but not in a friendly game. I didn't think anything of that. She was on the phone and doing her nails, in other words, she was being a girl. It worked. I did not however like that last shot of the reflection of the pieces on the boy's eyes. I thought that was trying-to-be "clever" shot. Didn't fit in with the way the rest of the story was filmed. Just a pet peeve there.

Nicely done. Top of the pack for me.
 
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Thanks to everyone who has commented! I'm appreciative.


SPOILER ALERT!!
To those that commented about her touching his hair or shoulder being a breaking of the rules....I dont feel it is because it is a subjective experience of the boy at that point. If I had shown her ruffling his hair or touching his shoulder from the Doctor's POV then that would have broken the rule. If the boy can imagine her playing chess, he can definitely imagine her putting her hand on his shoulder. I hug people in a dream (no, this short is not a dream) and it doesnt "violate" my dream. It's all part of my imagination.

With that explanation firmly in place, watch it again, there's something else there I'm suggesting.

Blaine said:
You did a good job on this. It is probably my favorite of your entries. Nothing pretentious at all about it. It was a sweet personal story.

Let me add to the chorus of those complaining about her touch. Also, I'd have liked to know just a bit more about the couple watching the boy. It would have made them more important to the story and cut the expository feeling...
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Blaine!! So glad to see you come around again. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I'm sad we didn't get a Blaine and Fat Monster extravagenza this time around.

I could see why showing more of the couple watching might enhance it. I was just trying to be extra lean this time around.

Matt Harris said:
Your brother is a great little actor!

This was a touching short with a nice twist that i felt was revealed a little too early on.
The couple on the bench... I didn't understand the man's connection to the boy. Had he been
the boy's psychiatrist or something, there would be some connective tissue to tie it together.

But that aside, I really liked your film and thought it was shot nicely and had great sound and score.
I thought your bro was really really good.

One last thing: did you crop down to 235? My problem with your crop is that you cut off the chess pieces
in many of the shots. I want to see him interact with those chess pieces. So maybe you could animate the 235 crop here and there to pan up or down to show the chess pieces?
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Thanks Matt for your comments! We did shoot it in 2.33:1, so no panning is possible unless I wanted to crop in further.

Charli said:
This was a well "shown" story into which you could throw the audience into it. Touching, sweet music, nice tone and overall beautifully photographed. Excellent choice of lens, worked great. I do wish however when the boy was moving his pieces that you had pulled back a little to see the chess pieces as well.

In competition chess you have to touch your pieces, but not in a friendly game. I didn't think anything of that. She was one the phone and doing her nails, in other words, she was being a girl. It worked. I did not however like that last shot of the reflection of the pieces on the boy's eyes. I thought that was trying-to-be "clever" shot. Didn't fit in with the way the rest of the story was filmed. Just a pet peeve there.

Nicely done. Top of the pack for me.
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Hey Charli! Thanks for the comments!! And for pointing out that in a friendly game of chess amongst family members this is no 'must touch piece' rule :)
I agree with what you, Matt and some others are saying. I wish we'd shown more of the board. We were going to do insert shots but lost our light.
 
My criticisms: Okay, this is my #1 favorite film! Complaints are merely tiny nit-picks. The couple sitting on the bench... that's the only thing that didn't work as well for me because of their performances, and wasn't exactly sure who they were or why they were watching. Just a few little tiny tweaks in this regard would have made it a perfect film.

My compliments: LOVED the kid... he's a natural. He was more comfortable as the character in your film than in the BTS stuff! The girl was very good also, but the kid steals the show. The look of the whole film is stunning... the mood was perfect. The last shot where she is walking away, just gorgeous. The story pulled at my heart-strings and but for my little complaint above, probably would have brought tears to my eyes. Music perfect. Reveal, incredible (even if just a little predictable).

Our entire party of viewers "wowed" it. GREAT JOB! I can only hope that JTyner and I both reach this level with our own films someday!
 
This is a very touching film and wonderfully acted by the young actors. I enjoyed the cinematography in the outdoor park setting. As well the score was very harmonious and appropriate to the mood of the film. Double bonus for incorporating chess into the story! :)
 
Very well done, Shawn. Your best yet in my eyes.

A couple of things, I wanted more coverage of them playing chess. Chess piece shots and a few more wide shots of them sitting there.
Just more coverage in general and/or a little camera movement to the board once in a while.

The couples dialogue seemed stiff. "How long will this behaviour continue?" came off a little 'read from the page' to me. Just seemed off somehow.
Some of the dialogue was a little misleading, especially early on.

The boy and and lady playing chess were perfect. No issues there at all. Lovely story.
Looked great! Nice rack focus shots. The last shot seemed forced, didn't really fit.

Justin's score was really good! Might be the best score in the fest.
Well done.
 
Wonderful film Shawn! Great story, very well acted & directed, the score was beautiful...everything was right on point for me. I'd have to agree with Michael and say this is the best yet (and I really like your other films too!).

If there was anything I could nitpick, it would be that I wanted to know a little more about the couple on the bench. I just assumed he was a psychologist and his intern hired by the boy's parents observing him because I didn't want to think he was some strange stalker or worse. :happy:

Congratulations. :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
 
I want to congratulate you on a home run film. This was an amazing piece. Should have finished a couple months ago and the young boy would be holding an Oscar right now. Every aspect of the film played off each other harmoniously, from the acting to the visuals to the pacing to the music. Definitely looking at the fest winner here.

My only complaint was the use of the 300mm lens throughout the whole picture. I am a big fan of a long lens/flat look, it's by far my favorite look. My complaint comes in that since every shot had such shallow dof it sometimes drew my attention to it, and at that point it started becoming divisive. I always liked a camera that becomes its own character. I would suggest that when we are in the boys world you shoot it with the 300 to encapsulate us in his world. And when we are on the outside looking in, use a wider lens (not too wide that the sudden change calls attention to it) to put the audience in the "big world" apart from him, essentially creating 2 worlds for us to look at this event unfolding. I would say 95% of the time the lens choice was perfect, this is the 5% of the time I'm referring to.

Good work to you and all involved.
 
This is an ambitious film, and ambitious where it counts, not on effects or gimmicks but in the story it attempts to tell with minimal dialogue, expressing (spoiler alert) what any of us with a sibling can relate to, would be the devastation of there absence.

There is lots to really like in this film, and i applaud the maturity of its entry! Of course there are some bits that didn't gel quite so much for me.

1) I like the idea of the boy coming at the game of Chess, in some form of metaphor for his ability to accepting loss - this didn't quite play out to its full potential. Instead it felt that we lingered on the easier sentimental route, (sentimentally we don't want this pair to really part... we want her to be alive even in his make believe world) rather than actually.... really be dead, for the boy to realise that. If you had incorporated that kind of brass balls into the mix, you could have had a real heartbreaker, something really provocative. Instead we have the mournful eyes of middle class looking folks on the bench. Brecht would have called that Bourgeious sentimentalism in fact hehe!

So its a case of a tentative slightly timid film, getting some lovely feelings but just dangling with its real potential to me.

Other outstanding issues is the couple watching the kids playing chess, and the kids not seeming to recognise them! This stood out as making little sense - and you know as an audience member i just disregard it almsot and presume there the kids parents. Its the only way we can really rationalise it simply!

The crop 2.35? isnt flattering to the initial composition of the shots, we're missing chess pieces getting moved aren't we? It takes away from the film, if you have it at 1.85 or 16:9 please preserve it!

The cinematography, casting, other bits and bops (the rook in the eye shot - show offs lol) all look great. Its a slick sentimental film, but it looks too serious for its disney-fied interpratation. Some brass balls could have pulled it further.

As it is - its a good film but with the missed potential to be great. But a damned worthy effort of your crew.

PS - beautiful score Justin
 
Wow! Thank you everyone who has commented, I really appreciate you not only taking the time to view but to also comment.

Michael Anthony Horrigan said:
Very well done, Shawn. Your best yet in my eyes.

A couple of things, I wanted more coverage of them playing chess. Chess piece shots and a few more wide shots of them sitting there.
Just more coverage in general and/or a little camera movement to the board once in a while.

The couples dialogue seemed stiff. "How long will this behaviour continue?" came off a little 'read from the page' to me. Just seemed off somehow.
Some of the dialogue was a little misleading, especially early on.

The boy and and lady playing chess were perfect. No issues there at all. Lovely story.
Looked great! Nice rack focus shots. The last shot seemed forced, didn't really fit.

Justin's score was really good! Might be the best score in the fest.
Well done.
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Thanks Michael! I agree on the coverage, we were going to do an insert short of the board but lost our light.

ZazaCast said:
Wonderful film Shawn! Great story, very well acted & directed, the score was beautiful...everything was right on point for me. I'd have to agree with Michael and say this is the best yet (and I really like your other films too!).

If there was anything I could nitpick, it would be that I wanted to know a little more about the couple on the bench. I just assumed he was a psychologist and his intern hired by the boy's parents observing him because I didn't want to think he was some strange stalker or worse. :happy:

Congratulations. :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
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Your assumption is exactly what I wrote it as! Psychologist and his intern. Thanks for your comments man, I appreciate it.

Mr Blue said:
I want to congratulate you on a home run film. This was an amazing piece. Should have finished a couple months ago and the young boy would be holding an Oscar right now. Every aspect of the film played off each other harmoniously, from the acting to the visuals to the pacing to the music. Definitely looking at the fest winner here.

My only complaint was the use of the 300mm lens throughout the whole picture. I am a big fan of a long lens/flat look, it's by far my favorite look. My complaint comes in that since every shot had such shallow dof it sometimes drew my attention to it, and at that point it started becoming divisive. I always liked a camera that becomes its own character. I would suggest that when we are in the boys world you shoot it with the 300 to encapsulate us in his world. And when we are on the outside looking in, use a wider lens (not too wide that the sudden change calls attention to it) to put the audience in the "big world" apart from him, essentially creating 2 worlds for us to look at this event unfolding. I would say 95% of the time the lens choice was perfect, this is the 5% of the time I'm referring to.

Good work to you and all involved.
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Wow!! I'm humbled that you enjoyed it so much. The deal with the 300mm is that I made a decision to creatively challenge myself to use only the 300mm as a means of discipline and effort. If I had used all my lenses, I probably would have only used the 300mm on the main closeups of the boy and the girl, which would be only like 60% of the shots. So in that regard, I'm glad I pushed myself creatively and technically to make it work on every shot. But yes, there are several shots in there that conventionally would be better serviced by a different focal length.

lawriejaffa said:
This is an ambitious film, and ambitious where it counts, not on effects or gimmicks but in the story it attempts to tell with minimal dialogue, expressing (spoiler alert) what any of us with a sibling can relate to, would be the devastation of there absence.

There is lots to really like in this film, and i applaud the maturity of its entry! Of course there are some bits that didn't gel quite so much for me.

1) I like the idea of the boy coming at the game of Chess, in some form of metaphor for his ability to accepting loss - this didn't quite play out to its full potential. Instead it felt that we lingered on the easier sentimental route, (sentimentally we don't want this pair to really part... we want her to be alive even in his make believe world) rather than actually.... really be dead, for the boy to realise that. If you had incorporated that kind of brass balls into the mix, you could have had a real heartbreaker, something really provocative. Instead we have the mournful eyes of middle class looking folks on the bench. Brecht would have called that Bourgeious sentimentalism in fact hehe!

So its a case of a tentative slightly timid film, getting some lovely feelings but just dangling with its real potential to me.

Other outstanding issues is the couple watching the kids playing chess, and the kids not seeming to recognise them! This stood out as making little sense - and you know as an audience member i just disregard it almsot and presume there the kids parents. Its the only way we can really rationalise it simply!

The crop 2.35? isnt flattering to the initial composition of the shots, we're missing chess pieces getting moved aren't we? It takes away from the film, if you have it at 1.85 or 16:9 please preserve it!

The cinematography, casting, other bits and bops (the rook in the eye shot - show offs lol) all look great. Its a slick sentimental film, but it looks too serious for its disney-fied interpratation. Some brass balls could have pulled it further.

As it is - its a good film but with the missed potential to be great. But a damned worthy effort of your crew.

PS - beautiful score Justin
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Wow! Coming from Lawrie, this is practically an Oscar nomination :)

The only bit I will clarify is that my intention is that the kid absolutely knew exactly who the Psychologist was, he just didnt want to say it to his "sister". In fact, the original script ended with the boy showing up at the bench and saying "I'm ready to go now Dr Thomas".

I definitely agree we should have backed up just a tiny bit to include more chess pieces. I do not have any other aspect ratio, this is what it was shot in.

Your comments on the story are fair, so I wont "counter" them, only to give my perspective as an artist. I considered having the boy come to a conclusion to let her go, but I felt that wasn't what I was trying to say. What I was trying to show was that his big breakthrough was that he finally asked the question "do you miss me, as much as I miss you?" Thats what this piece is about, wondering if the dead miss us as much as we miss them. Is the grief shared across the divide? That's all this boy has wondered for the last year, wondering if his dear older sister misses him like he does her. To that extant it wasn't important to me whether he "let go" or not, it was that he needed confirmation that she missed him. Now the psychologist intern was concerned how long this "crazy" behavior would last, but not our boy. Again, not "defending" or "countering", just explaining a bit of what was going on inside artistically and thematically.
 
Im just watching all the entries again to pick up the little nuances that I may have missed first run.

The one that stood out to me was the incredible score. I never even noticed it first watch, a good thing IMO. But I listened for it this time and wow, if I could nominate one person in the fest for the highest quality work in their field across all fields - Id give it to Justin hands down. Amazing score that wrapped itself beautifully around the story.
 
This was really sweet. The kid was awesome, I absolutely loved him. Nicely shot, and nice music. I only have one gripe, and it’s minor, but the couple watching seemed really contrived, just there to explain the story. I know it’s tough, but this would have been much more powerful if you could have managed to explain it using just the two kids, or integrating the adults into the story somehow. But overall, well done, definitely one of my favourites this fest.
 
This is a warmhearted film with a beautiful mood. Especially the acting of the young actor was good. I didn't get in the first moment that the man on the bench was his psychologist. I first thought the couple could be their parents. Above all I enjoyed it.

Susanne
 
I thought this was well produced but the adults giving the exposition was just a little too contrived. They were overintentive and any dialog like this would have been played out before setting off to watch the boy. A different reveal would have had more impact.

The producion values were excellent and the boy was wonderful.

Well done.
 
Well done. Looked and sounded great. It started soft, but even before the reveal the kid's ability to convincingly emote eagerness for her attention kept me glued. The shots were just dreamy and beautiful which lent itself well to the story. That kid was really good as were the others performances. My one suggestion would be to consider moving the reveal the end. Give us the goodbye, the kids questions then the psych reveal. I'm sure you had good reason, it's just the way I saw it. This was an elegant and heartfelt piece of work. Not an easy task to pull my black heart strings but you played them like a harp. Compelling work.
 
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A big thanks again to anyone who's watched and commented, I read them all and really appreciate it.

4100xpb said:
This was really sweet. The kid was awesome, I absolutely loved him. Nicely shot, and nice music. I only have one gripe, and it’s minor, but the couple watching seemed really contrived, just there to explain the story. I know it’s tough, but this would have been much more powerful if you could have managed to explain it using just the two kids, or integrating the adults into the story somehow. But overall, well done, definitely one of my favourites this fest.
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The other couple is also there to allow another perspective, not merely to provide info. They are integral to being able to see them from a specific perspective outside of the brother and sister. Thanks for the kind words! The kid is my brother and he's been acting for a while, even got to do a feature last year. Though he is relatively inexperienced. I'm very proud of the performance he gave.

MrFluffy said:
I thought this was well produced but the adults giving the exposition was just a little too contrived. They were overintentive and any dialog like this would have been played out before setting off to watch the boy. A different reveal would have had more impact.

The producion values were excellent and the boy was wonderful.

Well done.
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I can see that perspective, though how I had the backstory (and what I directed to the actor and actress) was that this was the intern's first visit with the Dr and she had not been told anything about this patient except his basic background. It was a test of sorts for her, to get her to try and figure it out and after being unable to do so, she finally asks the questions.

Anthony Todaro said:
Well done. Looked and sounded great. It started soft, but even before the reveal the kid's ability to convincingly emote eagerness for her attention, kept me glued. The shots were just dreamy and beautiful which lent itself well to the story. That kid was really good as were the others performances. My one suggestion would be to consider moving the reveal the end. Give us the goodbye, the kids questions then the psych reveal. I'm sure you had good reason, it's just the way I saw it. This was an elegant and heartfelt piece of work. Not an easy task to pull my black heart strings but you played them like a harp. Compelling work.
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Thanks man! That's really nice of you to say. As for the placement in the reveal, originally it was the end but I wanted a third act, so to speak, to raise the suggestion that instead of being crazy, he might actually be talking to his sister. I directed the Dr to this effect, if you pay attention to his performance there is a lot going on. I tried to give as many layers as I could, not sure how many come across.
 
You're welcome. Thanks for not spoiling it. I picked up the 'tell' on the second pass. It's strikingly visual and you accentuated it well but I still missed it on the first pass and I mean missed it. I now know why. It's the lift in the music during the first turn. I think that does a psychological number on the viewer, which you were obviously going for, but I think a more subtle transition musically will allow us to be more visually aware, at that particular moment. It's subtle nit picky polish. It works as is and you certainly did achieve your layers. Kudos.

UPDATE: And then there's that other OBVIOUS thing I missed... You know the feeling when you are looking for you pencil and it's behind your ear? Yeah, just had it. Yet another layer was revealed just moments ago. Funny how the most obvious was the last one I got. Tightly woven.

DON'T CHANGE A THING!
 
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