The Bedtime Story

Good job. I didn't, as a parent, like to see the child genuinely terrified. I didn't get the reason for mom to be dead or her mention at all. Did he kill her? Was she going to save the girl? I imagine you were adding some depth to the story, but everything needs a purpose especially in a 6 minute short. Loved the monster!
 
I enjoyed it. The monster was truly scary. I also loved the opening/closing, it was unique yet it reminded me of something that would be in a late night television series. My only problem was the editing of the conversation that was already mentioned. It just felt weird and less "fluid" than the rest of the film.

overall excellent job.
 
Holy CRapolA! You scared the dark stuff from that little girl! I was oddly laughing, cause I'd probably do the same to my son when he's older. Make him be in a movie and then really bring some real stuff from him. :)

I loved how you actually had a monster and the monster was shown multiple times. Maybe one too many, but hey... who can resist that really cool slimy mouth shot with the teeth?

Thank you for sharing!
/j
 
Having a little girl who is a little bit older than yours... this movie bothered me a bit. She was genuinely scared. :(

That aside, you moved that camera really well and your monster effects kicked butt.
Just remember, sound is half the battle. Or as Herman would say, 99%. :)
 
Good monster effect.
You know the sound needs work, the panning was very distracting. The dialog was not delivered very smoothly so that needs work.
I was upset that the girl really seemed more scared than I've ever seen a child be in real life (and I have 3).
 
Poor little thing! I'm just as curious as everyone else as to the making of the screaming scene. It is entirely possible she's a good little screamer and had fun doing it. My 9-year-old daughter could earn her college tuition by recording screams for movies. I just have to trust that you were gentle with her.

The opening back and forth got a little repetitive for me. I could have used a two shot mixed in there. The father also was a bit "whiny" to me. I know he was probably trying to be soothing, but it came off as more condescending and whiny than anything.

But, damn that monster is freaky! Awesome job with that! Wouldn't want to wake up to that. Overall, the story was fine, and as Chris said, I would have like more explanation of the mom since you brought her up, but a nice little monster in the closet tale. :)
 
Sorry guys, it's gonna take me a little while to respond to everyone; but I do plan to! I'm in the middle of a couple big school projects so it's gonna take me some time!
Again thank you, and I will also respond to the other films when I can get to watch them.
~Kory Gregersen
 
Hey, Kory! I really enjoyed the film. The teeth were freakin' great and scary. You seem to be good and have a knack for bringing truly frightening stuff. My only minor critiques would be that I think you showed too much of the monsters face. The teeth I think would have been enough with the wide shot of the monster in the hood and then I wanted to see more OTS (over the shoulder) shots between the father and daughter. Other than that, the acting was good and kudos to the little girl. I also really dug the opening credits too BTW. Great to see you back. Nice work.
 
EditPhish said:
Your monster was definitely one of the scarier ones in the fests, without a doubt. Very creepy... and it actually had some screen time. You get major props for that!

What you can do to improve is work on the editing. I found some of your cuts a little awkward, especially at the beginning.

Good work overall though :)
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Thanks EditPhish between work and full time school it was a wonder that I actually finished in time!
 
Brickhouse said:
I'm glad you chose to show the monster. The creepy hands from the closet, right before the reveal. Damn, man. That was epic.
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I'm glad you liked that Brickhouse, I think a good monster movie needs to build up the suspense and then break out the terror!
 
NOBELO said:
Where did everyone get all these good child actors? It's surprising how many children have been in the fest but even more surprising is how well they are doing. This is no exception. Great acting from the little girl. Nice monster. Seemed to be a weird vignette that cut off portions of the screen. Was that intentional? I also thought the monster was pretty gnarly! Good job.
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I hear you on that. I didn't realize how many children were featured in these films till I started watching them. I was even more surprised at the great acting in most of them!
The vignette thing, was actually garbage mattes that I used to accent the lighting and composition. Thanks!
 
dahen said:
I really enjoyed this short movie- the little girl in it was sooo believable!!!!! I thought the ending with the dad all scary and zooming out of the bedroom was a cool effect. Probably my favorite so far!!!
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Wow! Thanks dahen!:Drogar-Happy(DBG):
 
I'm beginning to think this is ChildFest! :cheesy:

You did an excellent job on your monster and some great screams from the Megumi. Child in jeopardy always runs the risk of the cheap scare, though.

I thought the dialogue sounded a bit over processed. Sounds like you had a noise issue recording this.

Overall, you did a good job on this and it moved along quickly.
 
ewoknrock said:
Just signed on dvxuser and got done watching your Monster Fest entry. I must say, I absolutely loved it. Very simple yet very gripping and super scary. To be honest, I usually don't even like monster in the closet type movies because they 1)never show the moster and usually do a poor job at building suspense and settle on glowing eyes or something in order to scare, or 2)they show the monster, it looks lame and everyone gets let down on the delivery. What I really liked about your flick is that you beautifully built suspense within the entire dialogue (the daddy/daughter talk was eerie and felt kinda surreal), that little girl was an unbelievably awesome young actress (How old is she anyway?), and the monster was truely evil (looked and sounded like something from the very depths of hell (Great job, not very easy to do)! Overall, Awesome! Keep it up, I really like your style. My only critique is that there wasn't more. Hopefully next time.
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Wow Thanks! Don't rub my ego or anything :Drogar-BigGrin(DBG) I'm happy it came through to you the way I intended. My daughter is almost four years old and I agree she has potential. She is very confident, expressive, and animated for such a young child, and her sister is the same way. If you've see my acting, you know they definitely didn't get it from me! :-Laugh(DBG):
 
Charli said:
This definitely was in the creep factor for me. It was a good story, but I'm not sure it was entertaining throughout.

I know it's hard to work with child actors but she did fine.

Still, you had a creep factor so good job.
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So... was it not entertaining throughout because it was too creepy, or because parts were dull, or what? :undecided

I'm glad it was creepy for ya! That was my aim. :shocked:
 
Chris_Keaton said:
Good job. I didn't, as a parent, like to see the child genuinely terrified. I didn't get the reason for mom to be dead or her mention at all. Did he kill her? Was she going to save the girl? I imagine you were adding some depth to the story, but everything needs a purpose especially in a 6 minute short. Loved the monster!
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I think the purpose for the mom mention in this film was to cover a couple things. First it was to explain why mommy wasn't there, and it also served to build a connection with the viewer with the characters. Too many Horror movies rely on scares, and gore alone and don't build repore with the viewer. This is a huge mistake in my opinion! If you just have sadistic scenes against people you don't care about it will make your film forgettable and you do the viewer a diservice. That's my feeling anyways~! Thanks for the review, glad you liked the monster.
 
Bob Loblaw said:
There wasn't much of a story here, but the "monster in the closet" gag was very well executed. The monster looked wicked, which is always a plus.

Good short film overall.
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What more do you feel the story needed? I realize it was short but I felt it covered all the bases it needed to. I really wanted the monster to be unsettling and creepy not only it's looks but it's movement as well. It seems to have been affective all around that puts a big evil grin on my face :evil:
Thanks!
 
You were the dad, right? I think your performance was the strongest thing about this film for me.

The monster was really well done too. The end was strong all around.

You had some interesting camera angles, but that vignetting was too much. If you're going to use a vignette, you should use it just to darken the corners, not bring them all the way to black. Just drop the opacity on those garbage mattes, and that should help significantly.

The sound was weak for me. It should flow, and not feel like abrupt cuts between every piece of dialogue, sound effect, etc.

Enjoyed it overall though! Looking forward to seeing more from you!
 
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