SINAMON PRODUCTIONS present "NO AIR"

Nice little film you've made here! I actually found some of the interactions between the two characters to be quite funny. I would have really liked to see it with a more playful score for this reason. I'm curious about how that would change the film as a whole!

The awkward silence kinda reminded me of the uneasy interactions between characters in Jim Jarmusch's Coffee and Cigarettes for some reason (the black and white theme probably helped). I think you could probably have stuck with the final shot -- the guy removing his white shirt to reveal the black one beneath -- for just a moment longer so that the audience could take note of it.

But, y'know, po-tay-to po-tah-to. Congratulations on your entry.
 
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Cool opening and closing. Unique film. I liked the black and white thing ya got going there.

Thanks for showing.
 
Artsy, yet understandable. I'm not sure what the theme ( plot) was but I was interested all the way through. Good job getting something into the competition. :)
 
msconce said:
I thought some of the relationship betwen the two guys was funny and I liked the opening. The short confused me as a whole and I did not understand the end, but hey...It still was cool.
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Aww, watch it again... active watching appreciated :D J/K if it ain't working for it ain't working. Thanks for your review!

Chris Messineo said:
I haven't read the whole thread and I'm sure this has been said a million times before, but I LOVED your title sequence. It was so clever and fun and connected to the rest of the story. Brilliant.
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Thanks man! I feel really proud after these comments! I guess one of my brighter moments :D

Zoidoid said:
Nice little film you've made here! I actually found some of the interactions between the two characters to be quite funny. I would have really liked to see it with a more playful score for this reason. I'm curious about how that would change the film as a whole!

The awkward silence kinda reminded me of the uneasy interactions between characters in Jim Jarmusch's Coffee and Cigarettes for some reason (the black and white theme probably helped). I think you could probably have stuck with the final shot -- the guy removing his white shirt to reveal the black one beneath -- for just a moment longer so that the audience could take note of it.

But, y'know, po-tay-to po-tah-to. Congratulations on your entry.
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Thanks for your review and for your suggestions. It could definitely have been much funnier if I wanted too. I like this idea.

And the final shot. Yeah, I was not happy with it. During editing I realized that it was not so good. I actually wanted to reshoot this scene, because it took him so long to open his shirt and the black was only so subtle. For the reshoot I thought about him taking off the shirt at once, so you can see the complete black t-shirt all of a sudden. But we could't do it, because the actor had no time.

kurtmo said:
Cool opening and closing. Unique film. I liked the black and white thing ya got going there.

Thanks for showing.
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Thanks alot!

Mike Insane said:
Artsy, yet understandable. I'm not sure what the theme ( plot) was but I was interested all the way through. Good job getting something into the competition. :)
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Thanks Mike! Main goal achieved :)

here is the explanation from a few pages back:
SPOILERS
SPOILERS

In my mind this movies is more an abstract film. The black and white represents the good and the bad. At the beginning of the movie you see the good guy in white who sits in a bad black world. And the bad guy in black who sits in the same world, but compared to himself it is good, so he sits in a white world.

The ending: I wanted to make you believe the white guy is good, because of his appearance, so that you are irritated that he murders the black guy. But then he opens his shirt and reveals his dark/bad core. Just because he looks good on the outside, it doesn't mean he is good on the inside.

These were my initial thoughts, but of course this film is open to a lot of interpretation.

When I explained my initial thoughts about this film, I just mentioned the black and white issue, but I didn't say anything about the time theme. Mainly, because nobody asked. :D

As said before, the black and white represents good and bad. But the complete setup represents our whole world and life and these two guys are just two representative human beings whose time is running up.

Obviously the black guy's time runs faster and he somehow knows it. The smoking is a metaphor for his wasteful life and it represents something bad. The white guy doesn't know or doesn't care about the time, until the end, where he realizes that his time might come to and end as well.
 
Hey Simon. I swear I thought I posted after my first, but can't see it now. Sorry man. Not sure what happened there.

Anyways, I thought the lead up was very good. As I think I read before, for nothing happening, it was actually quite interesting. So, that held me right till the end. I must admit I didn't get it at first, but having heard your reasoning, it all makes perfect sense now. Wow, way to go on your first entry.
Very good my friend.
 
Hey Simon,

I loved your film. The black and white, the idea, the classy credits which really fitted well. I thought the cinematography and sound quality were excellent too.

The theme seemed pretty clear to me, though I would add that beyond good and bad, hypocrisy seemed to be a central theme: the good guy doesn't want the other guy to smoke because it would damage his health, but then he kills him when he does. It seemed clear to me that you were saying that we see the good and the bad in black and white but then everything is not what it seems - there are a lot of grey areas in between or what seems good may actually be worse than what seems bad.

If I must make a criticism, there are two: first, as has been said, that light socket, but also the corner of the room. The back wall should have been wider. In such a formal composition that back white wall needs to be perfect. Second, I didn't really like the "good" guy shaking his head when "bad" guy drew on the unlit cigarette. I thought that could have been a little more subtle.

Great work though, congratulations!!

Jason
 
Raptor365 said:
Hey Simon. I swear I thought I posted after my first, but can't see it now. Sorry man. Not sure what happened there.

Anyways, I thought the lead up was very good. As I think I read before, for nothing happening, it was actually quite interesting. So, that held me right till the end. I must admit I didn't get it at first, but having heard your reasoning, it all makes perfect sense now. Wow, way to go on your first entry.
Very good my friend.
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Ok, apology accepted. In exchange for some kick ass VFX for my next entry :D ... j/k

Thanks alot man!
Horncastle said:
Hey Simon,

I loved your film. The black and white, the idea, the classy credits which really fitted well. I thought the cinematography and sound quality were excellent too.

The theme seemed pretty clear to me, though I would add that beyond good and bad, hypocrisy seemed to be a central theme: the good guy doesn't want the other guy to smoke because it would damage his health, but then he kills him when he does. It seemed clear to me that you were saying that we see the good and the bad in black and white but then everything is not what it seems - there are a lot of grey areas in between or what seems good may actually be worse than what seems bad.

If I must make a criticism, there are two: first, as has been said, that light socket, but also the corner of the room. The back wall should have been wider. In such a formal composition that back white wall needs to be perfect. Second, I didn't really like the "good" guy shaking his head when "bad" guy drew on the unlit cigarette. I thought that could have been a little more subtle.

Great work though, congratulations!!

Jason
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Thanks Jason! Your comments and thoughts are really appreciated!
 
I'll start by saying that I'm not a fan of 'artsy' cinema, but I really liked this short.

The title sequence was absolutely awesome. When it faded into the clock but maintained the black/white dichotomy, I knew I was watching something by someone who clearly knew what they were doing. The first shot of the two guys caused a big smile to cross my face. That smile remained for the first two minutes of the film. The pacing, cinematography, sound design -- everything was perfect.

Then after he put the cigarettes back into his pocket, things started to drag in my opinion. The characters' actions started to get repetitive; we weren't being shown anything novel anymore. The music started to get on my nerves. The smile slowly faded from my face.

When he lights up the cigarette, I love the sound design. Very awesomely done. Great shot. I love the ending, too. So really what it comes down to is I just think most of the 2:00-3:00 section should have been cut out. Maybe if instead of putting the cigarettes back into his pocket when the other guy gets upset, he just goes straight to twirling it, and pretends as though that's what he was planning on doing all along? Just my opinion.

I really really love the concept and everything else about this one -- I just wish it had gotten to the punchline sooner. All in all, great job with this.
 
I'm usually not a huge fan of art films, but this one for some reason held my interest. I'm not sure what it was, but I was thoroughly intrigued even after I figured it out. As others said, loved the title sequence. You need to get a reel together for those yo.

Are you a one man band over there Simon?
 
Duff said:
The title sequence was absolutely awesome. When it faded into the clock but maintained the black/white dichotomy, I knew I was watching something by someone who clearly knew what they were doing. The first shot of the two guys caused a big smile to cross my face. That smile remained for the first two minutes of the film. The pacing, cinematography, sound design -- everything was perfect.
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This comment made me smile for some time :)
Duff said:
When he lights up the cigarette, I love the sound design. Very awesomely done. Great shot. I love the ending, too. So really what it comes down to is I just think most of the 2:00-3:00 section should have been cut out. Maybe if instead of putting the cigarettes back into his pocket when the other guy gets upset, he just goes straight to twirling it, and pretends as though that's what he was planning on doing all along? Just my opinion.
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I really dig this idea. I think it's actually great! I watched these parts again and it can even be done so easily. The only thing that would go missing would be the closeups of the clock, but that's not a big loss.

You know, it's so hard to see things like this on yourself. I had this short and its scenes in my had for quite some time now. And then you watch it over and over again. I trimmed it, but you don't come up with the idea of actually cutting something out.

Thanks alot for your suggestions. I'm gonna give this one a try!

Slimothy said:
I'm usually not a huge fan of art films, but this one for some reason held my interest. I'm not sure what it was, but I was thoroughly intrigued even after I figured it out. As others said, loved the title sequence. You need to get a reel together for those yo.

Are you a one man band over there Simon?
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Thanks alot! What do you mean by reel. A reel for title sequences?

My girlfriend and two other friends helped me out on set during the shoot. My partner Sinan Kurtulus made the score and I recorded all the sound together with him. He produces electronic music, so he is quite good with sound programs.

So I came up with the story. I built the set, directed, was responsible for the lighting, for the camera setup, made the props. I edited (some parts together with Sinan), made the Intro and outro in After Effects and some other minor FX work in AE.

At 46 seconds into the film e.g., you can see the black shoe during the closeup of the hand. It was brown originally, because I was wearing the wrong shoes :D So I had to change it in AE.

So it is close to a one man band. Maybe 1 1/2.

Thanks for your review Tim :)
 
Hey Simon,

Just caught the flick. Gotta say, really enjoyed it. Not much of a story there, but a hell of a good abstact film.

While being a simple film, it doesn't seem to be a simple concept. AND you handled the simplicity with enough complexity to really really make it shine. The sound, acting, look, art direction, modd (and by mood I mean the tension) for sure were all top notch. And man did it look like you were enjoying that cigarette drag. Man.

So, as everyone has mentioned, the wall socket. But, as you know, the devil is in the details, especially with a piece as simple as this. Everything has to look intentional and for I'd say 95% of it, it looks that way. And so the wall socket carries so much more weight (I wasn't a fan of being able to see the edge of the white wall either).

Maybe something a bit more narrative next time? OH, who cares? You did this really well and I enjoyed it. Can't wait to see what you come up with next.
 
Simon,

Well, I didn't notice the wall socket. All in all the film wasn't for me. Just my personal taste. But you did a good job. LOVED the titles. The titles make me smile, man. Probably my fav credits in the fest so far. I did like the ending. When he opens his shirt.... Nice.

Good Job!
 
I really don't understand the story. The whole story looks like an anti smoking ad with a murder scene :) Maybe you could have added some details to tell the viewers why the two guys were seating there. It's a little bit boring to watch the whole movie with just one scene. Also, the footages look washed out. Other than the above problems, your movie is nice. Congrats!
 
Loved the opening and closing credits! Awesome. The production design of the film was cool, with the black and white, and that cool clock.

I didn't really get it, but it didn't bore me. I found the actions of the characters interesting.

Loved the guy reading a blank white book.

I would have liked to have been able to understand this more, but it was fun. Keep up the good work!
 
I really liked it!

I liked the score - It complimented the sound design very well. The foley felt a bit over the top though, which at times works to feel the irritation of the guy in white. It could be somewhat softer in the mix though.
 
Nicely done. I liked watching something that was experimental/abstract.. Good job with the editing/pacing, it managed to keep my attention throughout the story which is hard considering how little is actually going on. Score and sound design were well executed as well and helped maintain my focus.
 
A nice take on Sartre's "No Exit". (No Air, No Exit).

I thought your piece was very well done. It did drag a little (but only a little)....could've been tightened some....but overall it was very good.

My friend and I have been trying to write our version of "No Exit".....but we keep struggling with the idea of 'how' not to bore the audience with a one room shot (especially here in the USA....with all the short attention spans and ADD). I really do love what you have done here. Great job!
 
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chstick said:
My friend and I have been trying to write our version of "No Exit".....but we keep struggling with the idea of 'how' not to bore the audience with a one room shot (especially here in the USA....with all the short attention spans and ADD). I really do love what you have done here. Great job!
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Not to thread hijack, but here's an example of a (more or less) one room short that is definitely anything but uninteresting, haha. And no, it's not a rickroll. http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ge2FHDf_L78
 
Loved the design, good sound, liked your actors.

Really bothered me that in the wide shot the actors were much further from the mid line then the mid shots. Loved the look and it was a great beginning of an idea but the end didn't really make sense to me... I think you had a great setup for something but it didn't go much of anywhere which is weird to say considering it ended with a murder... perhaps it was supposed to just be abstract and not have a point, or we see that the white guy is black underneath so like good and evil are an illusion? I dunno... and the fact that I don't know is what makes the piece feel weak to me...

It was very original though and a nice change of pace! I'd love to see it reworked a little because then you'd really have something.
 
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