Incognizant

Thanks keaton. We are actually retaking the adr as we are preparing this film to submit to other festivals after this. We will actually be adding a little more depth and expanding to 10 minutes as I cut odd some to make the six minute cut. Thanks for watching and the feed back.
 
I thought this was good throughout with a genuine creepy ending.

Apart from what others said, it may have been a limitation on space or just shot angle, but the room he was in at the hospital seemed like he was in a closet or a little storage room.

Good job!
 
I thought this was pretty entertaining. I couldn't help but laugh throughout because you are visually pointing out what could become a serious problem in society. I personally know people who seem to become deaf and oblivious when they begin to text or go onto their networking site so I could relate to your idea. I didn't understand what the guy was doing in the opening with his fingers but it eventually made sense. The ending shot of him grinning when he sees the nurse pull out her phone was brilliant.
 
Thanks nouou. I was on this site so much one year that I got the idea. I became oblivious to my surroundings, kids, wife, etc. I think just the technology gives us a quicker opportunity to check out from reality since it takes no effort to grab a phone, log on to computer or whatever is your virtual drug of choice. Lol. When we expand the short out next month I will play on more shock value in the opening.
 
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This was a little gem I saved for the end. I loved the concept. I really like that you give 'social network' a demonic quality. Brilliant. The ending was great, love the viral nature of it wanting to spread. That's how a lot of my favourite horror film end, but you did it with facebook! For me this is one of the most original ideas of the fest hands down.

My actor Pete needs to see this to get him off bloody twitter 24/7!

One thing I would have loved to have seen was your opening gambit played differently. You have quite a long conversation in the park of him being sacked for using facebook. If you had dramatised this scene instead (maybe him trying to get away with using facebook during work, or being allured into it and getting caught) you would have created some tension and conflict right from the off, instead of a chat around a table.

Aside from this, what a fresh look at the theme and I also loved your logo at the start! lol
 
Thanks darkline. My original script had the whole office drama scene with other executive bosses hovering over him but budget restraints would not allow a good spot to pull this off in the time frame, but these are things I will talk to cast and free about touching up to take this concept to the next level. I was just telling a friend about your project last night. Well done as well.
 
I quite enjoyed this. The blurring of the real and digital worlds was well executed. I am not sure if this was intentional. but I liked how Michael's wife didn't show up in reflection during the bedroom scene... Nice touch!
 
THIS...WAS...SICK! i luved this film thoroughly. And i think it connects so well cuz many can relate. Luved the ending.
 
This was excellent. The story was great and you had some great cinematography in here. The shots at the table in the park were so on point. I really like the way it started and how the beginning tied into the end. I love stories like that. One thing that I didn't get was the whole poison thing. Like when that happened and when he got the idea to do that. We never see her take the pills or anything. I guess that's not such a big deal though. Anyway, I agree with others that this is a gem in the fest. Totally unexpected. Can't wait for the 10 minute version. One thing I would think about doing is breaking up the text in the opening. That's a big long paragraph to read. It might be more powerful to show two sentences and then one or something along those lines to where the very last sentence we read is compelling and throws us right into the story. Excellent work!
 
Thanks for the feed back. On the part of his wife going into a convulsion, the goal here is to convey a lack of cognizants on Michael part, not that he poisoned her. She reaches out to him for help but the network has totally consumed him. I agree with you on text up front. I will fix that up with the extended version. Glad you liked.
 
reem12 said:
Thanks for the feed back. On the part of his wife going into a convulsion, the goal here is to convey a lack of cognizants on Michael part, not that he poisoned her. She reaches out to him for help but the network has totally consumed him. I agree with you on text up front. I will fix that up with the extended version. Glad you liked.
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Oh!! Now I get it. LOL! That makes total sense then. Don't know how I missed it. Excellent!
 
Nice job. A little too much exposition in the beginning and the ADR threw me but otherwise it turned out nicely. It's creepy, kind of like staring into a terrible but almost too real future.
 
Thanks for the feedback. I agree, i don't think we are that far off from a society tuned out of reality.
 
Creepy and not too far off from reality. Maybe in the future doctors will pass meds, but in this day and age they don't. Other than that, this was a great story and a nice little cautionary tale. I really liked the last little tweak of the friend request at the end, leave the audience questioning reality.
 
It amazes me how desensitized we've become and how little real interaction we have with each other. It's almost like were quickly approaching an age of human robots.
 
You know what I appreciated about this one, the attention to detail. When the manager at the beginning gets on her blackberry part way into and after the firing it reinforced the point of this film...everyone is headed down that path. Technical stuff aside, I think it would help to show a series/montage of shots that take place over days/weeks showing Michael stuck on his computer as he goes down deeper into the 'rabbit hole' and loses his touch on reality.
 
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