Tequilawoo
Active member
A man working at home becomes very sick. The cause of his illness will change his life forever.....in the worst way possible.
Last edited:
Effluvium - Directed by Bill Christensen
- Thread starter Tequilawoo
- Start date
Chris_Keaton
ScriptFEST Mod
Sounds interesting!
Tequilawoo
Active member
Script is finished and I'm finalizing a location. I'm excited about this one folks. Hoping to legitimately spook some people this year. 
Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
Really looking forward to it :thumbsup:
JaceDaniel
Member
fantastic day of shooting yesterday, probably one of my favorites!
Tequilawoo
Active member
A couple screen grabs posted up top!
ElmoRicketts
New member
This is to scary i think you missed the point
Tequilawoo
Active member
One more screen grab up top!
Marlon Ladd
Veteran
Man, those shots look pretty awesome!
Hawk Teflon
Veteran
SPOILERS. PLEASE STOP READING IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THIS SHORT.
What I liked: Really enjoyed the story line. Kind of a The Fog meets The Happening, but, you know ... good. The atmosphere music really built well into the storyline, too. Main character's acting was a solid job as well. Whatever you did to make his hand up after he grabbed the door looked good. Very Indiana Jones reminiscent. Also, good ending.
What I didn't like as much (take these opinions with a grain of salt): I feel like your aperture might have been a little wide open for a lot of the shots. I know it was dark in there, but I'd recommend filling with more light so you can close your lens up a little so your DOF isn't that shallow. I felt like we were losing focus a lot. The scene when he's being chased back upstairs he reaches the top of the stairs and closes the door on the woman chasing him, then just says, "Stay right there, I'm coming to help." Even though he just ran from her as she was screaming "Help me." There was a strange transition from scared to relaxed at 4:50. I also felt like some of the sound effects were over used. Like the electronic distortion when things were going weird. The "if I say stop, or get out" scene at the end felt a little heavy handed. Almost explaining too much to us.
This one gave me a couple of 'jump' moments too, which is good for this genre. Well done.
Again, take these notes however you want, but it's just my 2 cents. I know it feels like I might have come down on this a lot, but your story was solid, and that's what matters most.
What I liked: Really enjoyed the story line. Kind of a The Fog meets The Happening, but, you know ... good. The atmosphere music really built well into the storyline, too. Main character's acting was a solid job as well. Whatever you did to make his hand up after he grabbed the door looked good. Very Indiana Jones reminiscent. Also, good ending.
What I didn't like as much (take these opinions with a grain of salt): I feel like your aperture might have been a little wide open for a lot of the shots. I know it was dark in there, but I'd recommend filling with more light so you can close your lens up a little so your DOF isn't that shallow. I felt like we were losing focus a lot. The scene when he's being chased back upstairs he reaches the top of the stairs and closes the door on the woman chasing him, then just says, "Stay right there, I'm coming to help." Even though he just ran from her as she was screaming "Help me." There was a strange transition from scared to relaxed at 4:50. I also felt like some of the sound effects were over used. Like the electronic distortion when things were going weird. The "if I say stop, or get out" scene at the end felt a little heavy handed. Almost explaining too much to us.
This one gave me a couple of 'jump' moments too, which is good for this genre. Well done.
Again, take these notes however you want, but it's just my 2 cents. I know it feels like I might have come down on this a lot, but your story was solid, and that's what matters most.
JaceDaniel
Member
Thanks Hawk for the review and the completing of my acting! I dont act often so it was a good exercise for me being so used to being behind the camera all the time.
Also, funny you should mention the hand... that was literally mustard and ketchup from the kitchen that I just squirted some on my hands lol
Tequilawoo
Active member
Hey Hawk. Thank you for the great feedback. Much appreciated. Had a great time filming with very little resources. Horror is probably my favorite genre because of the challenge/difficulty to keep a good plot line going with the scares so I am very happy to hear you got some enjoyment out of the story. Also liked the critiques. Thanks again!
An interesting concept, that seemed to be popular this fest. The idea of demons within. But it was definitely an interesting take on it. I will echo a lot of what Hawk said in regards to your cinematography and way too shallow DOF.
The biggest draw back from me would have to be the acting, not particularly the lead, but everyone else. The demons/visions all looked and felt like friends and family put up to do it and the paranormal investigaters scene was really on the nose (I think the scripting was the biggest issue here). But, like I said an interesting concept.
The biggest draw back from me would have to be the acting, not particularly the lead, but everyone else. The demons/visions all looked and felt like friends and family put up to do it and the paranormal investigaters scene was really on the nose (I think the scripting was the biggest issue here). But, like I said an interesting concept.