Critique My Class Project Please

K

kylemaggy

Member
This is a class project I shot and edited for my Intro to Digital Filmmaking class. It is also the first video I shot on my 7D. There were certain constraints on the project. Please point out the good, the bad, and the ugly...Thanks

 
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Shallow depth of field and handheld shooting don't mix well together.
You should have used a different lens.
 
How do you want people to view this and respond? Story wise, it was very boring. We watched a person do boring everyday things in a boring way. That was about it.
 
Snazzy Flapper said:
How do you want people to view this and respond? Story wise, it was very boring. We watched a person do boring everyday things in a boring way. That was about it.
Click to expand...

guess i should have included my constraints in the initial post...here they are:

"Final project: Thanksgiving Double Genre Mashup! You must combine two genres in a short film on the general theme of thanksgiving. You must research your genre carefully: genres could include for example, horror, noir, sci-fi, romantic comedy, comedy, thriller, documentary, biopic, western, soap opera, sit-com, talk show, historical re-enactment, murder-mystery, science films, education films, military films, collage film, etc. You must include: at least one establishing shot, and at least one scene that includes medium shots, closeups, and at least one extreme closeup. You must include at least one eyeline match cut, one directional match cut, one cut on the move, and one cut on formal similarity. There also must be one shot of a man whispering, one shot of a woman sitting down with a fork, and a reference to a dead pet. You are encouraged to shoot this at actual thanksgiving with your family if you do that, however you can interpret the assignment to refer to the general idea of giving thanks, and shoot it at any other time. You must make technical choices that support the content of the film and the genre that you have chosen for the film. Time limit: 1-3 minutes. In lab section you must present your idea for the film."
 
Ok, here's what worked for me: You had (seemingly) good talent. She's pretty, which definitely helps. The music is great, too. Shot compositions are fine for the most part (blocking wise). Also, you're lighting didn't seem too harsh in places either. Most was soft, and that's good.

What could use work: The shots are too soft. Clear shots are key. Use a tripod. I don't care if it's a cheap $50 tripod from best buy. Get that camera on something solid. Especially with the mood you're setting. Handheld is better for action / adventure-ish. This is slower paced. The music is great, but I fear it's got copyright on it. I'm not familiar with the song, though, so I could be mistaken. Maybe instead of panning down to reveal things (like brushing teeth, for example), use a second shot to pick up where the other left off. The music started on the ipod without her hitting play. Her hands were on the headphones and it started. Seemed weird to me. Keep the talent at the the focus. When you go to the computer, give it an over the shoulder angle instead of just the computer. Then back to the CU of her. Let it "breathe." Lastly, work on the audio. The little I DID hear was few and far between. I didn't even hear the knock on the door.

Take this with a grain of salt, as I'm still learning too. But I thought this would be a little more beneficial than some of the other posts.
 
Seems a little too complicated for a film school...
I mean to combine two genres like SF, western, horror,etc....You need sets, costumes, props,etc. to make something decent...You really can't make such a film in your apartment.
Did they give you any money for your project?
 
Good points by Hawk here, especially on focus, and using a tripod.

I cannot emphasize enough that if you do not have license to the music bed, then you cannot use it. And iTunes, or copying from a CD doesn't provide that license.
 
Hi

I won't repeat the good commentaries above.

Great job to be willing to learn and to post and accept the slings and arrows as well as the positive.
I liked the video.

I might suggest for sound; record sound as you did then take a copy of your cut video and go around your apartment with a small recorder and record the sounds again with the recorder real close to them. Watch out for handling noise, that is set the recorder down to record. I actually video my video playing back on my computer with my compact camera then watch the compact camera play back as I record to the small recorder on location so that my Foley syncs up. Same with dialogue. Once you hear well recorded replacement sound you will never go back to the mic on the camera. (I am speaking generally and NOT implying you used the mic on the camera!) The point is short handed you get a redo on the sound when you just might not have the equipment or help to boom or lav and all that's required.

I also use the same compact camera to test shoot and practice the talent. Great for checking out locations, ambient noise, lighting issues and all that. It is also important to realise when to stop that stuff and use your real camera.

I hope these additional hints might help you or others - I have learned so much here at DVXUser.

Keep up the good work and best of luck.
 
You composition was generally decent, just watch your levels and make sure you think about what you want to say about the character in each shot - height of the camera can have a big effect there.

Some things others have aleady mentioned, like focus, but for me the big problem was storyline - I didn't understand what was happening. Get a good, engaging storyline and all the technical things like focus and lighting will be foriven much easier because people are focusing on the story.

You say you had very tight guidelines, but that list would actually appear naturally in any well made short film. Thing like eyeline cuts, wide shots and CU's are part of the film-making and editing language. You could've pulled all of these off within the first 5 seconds and then focused on the story!
 
Given the fact this is primarily for a school project, I think you'll do fine. It seems to me as if you were a little more concerned with covering every last requirement, rather than focusing on the content your presenting.

That's okay, just learn from it. 99.9% of the time, the story should always be your greatest worry. Essentially, that's all film-making really is... telling a story.

Before I go any further, let me just say the best thing you can do (especially at this stage) is ask for feedback. No matter how much it stings at first, I think any film-maker will agree that the constant desire to learn and improve is what separates "the average" from "the above-average".

Enough rambling, I just thought you could use some words of encouragement.

Here's what I see, in terms of the good, the bad and the ugly:



THE GOOD

- I like the fact that you covered all the necessary requisites and that you made a decent use of what and who is already at your disposal. I'm assuming that you shot this project in your neighborhood and that the actress is someone you know and not paid. Of course it's preferable to have a professional actor/actress and a lavish set but as you'll soon find out (if you haven't already) is that covering all the necessary items, making use of what's available and budgeting is a great skill to have.

- The actress was okay and fortunately it doesn't look too forced. I didn't like that she didn't have any lines but it's always better to have someone who doesn't have any lines (and at the very least will not look foolish on camera) than to have someone force a line/dialogue the whole time.

- Didn't see any over-exposure that was too bad or distracting, as said before, a nice use of soft light. Since this was a slower piece, harsh shadows would have been the wrong choice (unless they were somehow part of the aesthetic).

- Intro wasn't anything special but at least you didn't put out some horrible graphics. I come from a post-production background and trust me, it's a tremendous giveaway when someone add titles that are better off left out. At least the font you choose goes with the feel/vibe of the story.



THE BAD

(I'm going to try and keep it positive and stick to the major set of improvements I think you can make, since I'm sure there will be plenty of feedback in regards to "the bad").

- Focus, focus, focus. As a viewer it's very distracting. If used correctly, for example, depth of field is one of the most fundamental tools a film-maker's arsenal. It allows the viewer to subconsciously pay attention to the area in which you want to direct their eyes. Most of all, it's a dead giveaway to the level of detail in which you operate.

- I can't stress enough how important a tripod is. It should be the butter to your toast if you know what I mean. Again, every story has it's "rhythm" and you have to know when shooting hand-held is effective. It's a tool in your arsenalm but if it's not applied properly it's almost like using a hammer on a screw. It will into the wall but that's not the right way to go about it (haha get it?).

-Lastly, the extreme close up was definitely under-exposed. Closer shots (especially) should be lit better. Use a 3 point lighting set up if you aren't too savvy with lights. The less light, the better I always say but not when things are too dark.

THE UGLY

(I'm only stating what personally bothered me the most).

-Story: I have to say I do like the ending and after watching it all, I can see what the point of the story is. However, it took WAY too long to get there. It's good to pace yourself but you have to be a little more aware of when to cut. Every composition has it's "rhythm" and it's your obligation as the story-teller to make sure you don't take to long to get your message across. There are even times when you leave a static shot there for a bit too long (ie. when she is brushing her teeth) and that's why some people have stated that your video was boring. All in all, remember this:

You can tell "the greatest story ever-told" but if it isn't being relayed by the RIGHT person or in the RIGHT way, no one will want to hear the story in the first place.

Hope this helps and good luck with your future projects.
-B
 
bgodoy said:
Given the fact this is primarily for a school project, I think you'll do fine. It seems to me as if you were a little more concerned with covering every last requirement, rather than focusing on the content your presenting.

That's okay, just learn from it. 99.9% of the time, the story should always be your greatest worry. Essentially, that's all film-making really is... telling a story.

Before I go any further, let me just say the best thing you can do (especially at this stage) is ask for feedback. No matter how much it stings at first, I think any film-maker will agree that the constant desire to learn and improve is what separates "the average" from "the above-average".

Enough rambling, I just thought you could use some words of encouragement.

Here's what I see, in terms of the good, the bad and the ugly:



THE GOOD

- I like the fact that you covered all the necessary requisites and that you made a decent use of what and who is already at your disposal. I'm assuming that you shot this project in your neighborhood and that the actress is someone you know and not paid. Of course it's preferable to have a professional actor/actress and a lavish set but as you'll soon find out (if you haven't already) is that covering all the necessary items, making use of what's available and budgeting is a great skill to have.

- The actress was okay and fortunately it doesn't look too forced. I didn't like that she didn't have any lines but it's always better to have someone who doesn't have any lines (and at the very least will not look foolish on camera) than to have someone force a line/dialogue the whole time.

- Didn't see any over-exposure that was too bad or distracting, as said before, a nice use of soft light. Since this was a slower piece, harsh shadows would have been the wrong choice (unless they were somehow part of the aesthetic).

- Intro wasn't anything special but at least you didn't put out some horrible graphics. I come from a post-production background and trust me, it's a tremendous giveaway when someone add titles that are better off left out. At least the font you choose goes with the feel/vibe of the story.



THE BAD

(I'm going to try and keep it positive and stick to the major set of improvements I think you can make, since I'm sure there will be plenty of feedback in regards to "the bad").

- Focus, focus, focus. As a viewer it's very distracting. If used correctly, for example, depth of field is one of the most fundamental tools a film-maker's arsenal. It allows the viewer to subconsciously pay attention to the area in which you want to direct their eyes. Most of all, it's a dead giveaway to the level of detail in which you operate.

- I can't stress enough how important a tripod is. It should be the butter to your toast if you know what I mean. Again, every story has it's "rhythm" and you have to know when shooting hand-held is effective. It's a tool in your arsenalm but if it's not applied properly it's almost like using a hammer on a screw. It will into the wall but that's not the right way to go about it (haha get it?).

-Lastly, the extreme close up was definitely under-exposed. Closer shots (especially) should be lit better. Use a 3 point lighting set up if you aren't too savvy with lights. The less light, the better I always say but not when things are too dark.

THE UGLY

(I'm only stating what personally bothered me the most).

-Story: I have to say I do like the ending and after watching it all, I can see what the point of the story is. However, it took WAY too long to get there. It's good to pace yourself but you have to be a little more aware of when to cut. Every composition has it's "rhythm" and it's your obligation as the story-teller to make sure you don't take to long to get your message across. There are even times when you leave a static shot there for a bit too long (ie. when she is brushing her teeth) and that's why some people have stated that your video was boring. All in all, remember this:

You can tell "the greatest story ever-told" but if it isn't being relayed by the RIGHT person or in the RIGHT way, no one will want to hear the story in the first place.

Hope this helps and good luck with your future projects.
-B
Click to expand...

thank you for the constructive criticism! i will definitely take this all into consideration...thankfully my tripod and other accessories are on their way
 
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