Apropos - A Hawk Teflon short

Hawk Teflon said:
You're right, Marlon. Immediately apologies for that. "...and a big thank you to the wonderful Bell for putting up with us." Really. We had her in a tub for upwards of 5 hours, freezing. THEN got some ADR on a different day from her (that we actually didn't even use), THEN had her for the flashback scene. So yes, thank you, Bell.
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She'll be happy to read that! :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:
 
Interesting film. Your best yet for sure.
I would like to start off with how it looked, which was excellent. Very well shot.

The story was good. I wished for a little more at the end, not a twist or anything, just a little more than what I thought was going to happen all along.
The dialogue was great and I really enjoyed Marlon's performance, right down to the eye twitch. :) Strong performance, Marlon.
The girl was good as well for what she was able to show.

Sound was pretty good, dialogue could have been boosted a tad in spots but it was very good.

It's hard to please everyone. Had you put in a twist you might get belittled for that. No twist, more complaints.
Shoot the film for yourself and try to learn from that along the way.

Anyway, big jump from your last entry to this one.
Well done.
 
Who was that super star acting in that?!

Really great job. I agree with MAH, but I can't say what would've left us with a better feeling in the end. Maybe we don't see the flashback until the end confirming that she was a killer- just pissing in the wind. A really great job.
 
That was a great short. I watched it twice!... Very good acting.

Spoiler: SPOILER and critique
In the establishing shots with the slow-mo... I felt the man's eyes were closed too long... and then after that, his face in the dark... I would have liked to see something to catch his eyes, if not some soft lighting of his entire face... almost like candle-light... something to give just enough to see some detail and/or eyes. When the girl killed the other soldier... I'd like to have some reason WHY? When he explains that she's killed seven military guys... again... I wish he'd have given a reason... ANY reason. The sly smile is decent... and creepy... and I guess that's to tell us she's just doing it for kicks(?). About your actor, the man... the eye twitch is golden. He seemed to be hitting on all cylinders for many of the shots... but I suspect he may be capable of some truly incredible stuff. Not to compare him to somebody else... but with ZF's shorts... there's that guy he often uses... well... that's your guy. You're going to want him to be in as many shorts as he will be in! The girl was good also... but I didn't buy the scene of her killing the soldier friend... because I just didn't get why... and she seemed to do it with a casual nature that I didn't feel suited the situation... whereas HIS casual nature did... and on top of that, his casual killing of her was spiked with high emotions.


PS... I wouldn't have given this level of analysis if I didn't think your entry was great. High marks from me for sure. :thumbup: and :beer: and :)
 
Again, many thanks everyone!

@MAH, Yeah we contemplated trying to get to the end result a few different ways. I think you're right about how there would be someone that didn't like it no matter which way we went. I guess the only way to have pleased more is to have built Marlon's character as the "villain" a little longer instead of revealing his intentions as soon as we did.

@Chris, many thanks!

@Matt, I really appreciate it (and I'm sure Marlon does too. He really does a great job acting). You bring some really strong questions to the table that I think we could have addressed. The backstory wasn't expressed (pretty much) at all. It's hard to tell "what to tell" vs. "what to leave out" about backstory for me. I like a little mystery, but if it leaves people saying, "I have no idea what happened, nor why it happened," it's TOO much. Finding that line in essential. And yes, I'll definitely be using Marlon as long as he allows me to!

Again, thank you very much for checking it out and taking the time to comment. I learn a lot on set, but I learn more after the fact during this time frame when people tell me what works / doesn't work. That's what I love so much about these fests.
 
Yes, stretching out that he's the villain longer would've been good. A little knowing smile from the girl at the end would've been killer. All just icing really, but good thoughts for the future.
 
Liked it, the pacing was solid. Also the added details of her vendetta against the military (without totally going into the why/how) worked for me.

Even though I was watching for a twist of some kind, you totally got me to believe he was the villain until the reveal.
 
Fun seeing the BTS. I enjoyed it and I also enjoyed the music in the BTS. Haven't seen the film yet. Will do so soon.
 
Hawk Teflon said:
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@Gord, I'm hoping you didn't have to watch it 3 times because you didn't understand it. I had to do that with Akira when I was 12. It was a long, awesome Saturday of "WTF did I just watch?"
...
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No. I watched it because I wanted to. Marlon did a great job and I'm going to watch it again. And I have already. He's a ticket imo.I'll watch anything that he's in. I want to see what he can come up with next. :thumbup:
 
Hawk Teflon said:
Good deal. Yeah, he's good.

FYI: He's got a zombie movie coming out (in case you didn't know). It's been shot, and he's tightening up the edit right now: http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?212139-Monsterfest-finalist-quot-The-JONES-quot-Feature!
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Oh, I know. He's a crazy sob in that one. It's hilarious from the grabs I've seen.
//edit: The one liners I mean. I love those lines. It looks great though. Really good. Put me down for one. Money is in the bank. Let me know where to send it. :beer:
 
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A quick plug for Marlon. Just cause he deserves it. Cheers Hawk. Great thread and short.

 
@4100xpb (what does your name mean?!), Thank you! If anything, I just want to hone my skills to get better and better. I guess I could tell you about the backstory we created with him, but that would seem to much like i'm trying to defend my piece I think. It's quite possible we built too much story OFF screen and not enough ON screen.
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Thanks for taking the time to reply Hawk. Fair enough - if this was a focus on your technical skills, then you definitely improved from last time. I can definitely see this as being part of something much bigger than what was presented on screen here.

My name comes from this:

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Gord.T said:
A quick plug for Marlon. Just cause he deserves it. Cheers Hawk. Great thread and short.

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Thanks, Gord! I appreciate the compliments and the plug for the film (I'm doing my best to make sure it knocks people's socks off). Hawk did an excellent job on Apropos and I'm just so glad that we could help.
 
I am going to have to go down a different path here. I did not like the slow-mo set up. You can cut it out and it will in no way harm the film which is why I don't think it was effective.

Funny, when I saw the running water on the bathtub facet I thought I had reloaded "Trickle" by mistake - Jung said we are a collective thought.

Your main actor was good, but... he had no one to play off of. Girl whimpering. Long monologue. You "told" me the story you didn't show me the story. When he showed her the cell phone I would have liked an insert shot of a photo of her on the phone, didn't happen.

This was not your best project in my opinion. This was on the low end because it was predictable. I knew what was going to happen before it happened. Pacing in beginning was slow. You gave me gravy but forgot to serve me the meat. I'll give you props for a good actor. Too bad he didn't have dialogue to play off another actor. It just didn't do it for me, Hawky.
 
Charli, who asked y- oh, right. I did. :)

Thanks for the honesty. That's what I was hoping for. Yeah, when I saw the poster for Trickle after we shot (with the faucet in there), I started thinking, "What if they make the same short? Has that happened before?"

Yeah, I contemplated having an insert of her photo but decided against it. Might not have been as effective.

Again, thanks for your critiques. I learned from you on FictionFest, and now VillainFest. :beer:
 
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