"The Lost" a film by Rylan Zolinski
- Thread starter Rylan Zolinski
- Start date
Chris_Keaton
ScriptFEST Mod
No he ain't. 
Welcome to the party!
Welcome to the party!
Rylan Zolinski
Well-known member
No he ain't.
It's been about a 3 year hiatus. I felt I needed to return.
Welcome to the fest.
Rodney V. Smith
DVXFest Promo Guru
MOROX! Welcome back!
thetvirus513
Well-known member
Welcome !
Rylan Zolinski
Well-known member
Thanks everyone. We wrapped the shoot up over the weekend. We ran into quite a few issues and I didn't get to shoot a few scenes I had wanted and even somehow forgot to shoot an important shot. In the end, I have what I have edited and it will be ready. Nothing like waiting until the last minute!
Oh, and here's a screencap:
Oh, and here's a screencap:
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Matt Harris
Veteran
Rylan this was pretty cool, i dug it. You had some nice cinematography, particularly the opening shots of the radio, the rear view etc. Great title, written on the window too, very clever.
I like the whole story, very simple, guy in the middle of nowhere and he runs out of gas. Classic, that would scare the hell out of me. I like how the camera followed the guy around, good and effective style. The end works too, it didn't quite achieve the full scare i was hoping for, but it was certainly creepy enough!
Obviously you went outside the box and basically stripped away most of the nat sound and used a music bed, i can really appreciate what you were going for.
I do think the music bed is a bit repetitive, and i think you could have had the music change up here and there. Maybe if you had a composer work on it?
But i still like the music you chose and it does work. I really like this short, thanks for entering!
I like the whole story, very simple, guy in the middle of nowhere and he runs out of gas. Classic, that would scare the hell out of me. I like how the camera followed the guy around, good and effective style. The end works too, it didn't quite achieve the full scare i was hoping for, but it was certainly creepy enough!
Obviously you went outside the box and basically stripped away most of the nat sound and used a music bed, i can really appreciate what you were going for.
I do think the music bed is a bit repetitive, and i think you could have had the music change up here and there. Maybe if you had a composer work on it?
But i still like the music you chose and it does work. I really like this short, thanks for entering!
Rylan Zolinski
Well-known member
Thanks Matt! I ran out of time and did the composition myself. I wasn't happy with it but I needed something. I will definitely be looking for someone to do it for me the next time around. Thanks for the input!
The title on the window... I love it. It's something I've not seen before... Very good.
In the sound there's something that suddenly stops (a continuous sound "behind" the music)
Music is to much the same continuous rithm going on and on... Don't be afraid to "turn off the music" and to have "sound"..
What could sound as "obvious sounds" (footsteps, taking the can, closing a door) can also make it "whaaaaw". Some wind, crickets, a bird....
Music is good, and music can make your film have the "well yeah...it was nice...and we had a free drink" or "it was great, I want to see it again" reaction.
But...music has also a "down site"... Which you have learned (are learning) here I think.
For example in the scene where he's searching for someone...just the sound of his steps, some wind, crickets (or so) an owl, a crowl some sound of creaking and sweaking metals and woods
would have made it much more suspens.
Also when he's driving, just some radiomusic (program is better due of licence, which you also have to make yourself then...), sound of the car... sound of him (handling sounds) will make it much better.
Music is only needed...When it's needed.... A difference for example between "a composer" and " a musician" is that a composer will compose something that "flows" in the movie. A musician at the other hand will mostly try to "put his music on top" because he want's it to be heared... A composer wants it to be "felt" more. Well that's what I think.... Every musician and composer speak now
It's very dark also... I think you have bad luck it get's dark to fast over there and maybe you started to late in the evening. When it starts to look dark for your eyes, it is already dark for a camera.
And also the bad luck not having enough light etc...
When he's inside...a creaking floor...
The shots itself are nice...but it's in a way hard to say (because they're dark....) But they don't look bad.
I think the story itself is a bit to short to put it in 6minutes.... I have a feeling you had something of 2minutes first and then thought "what can I add more to make it 6 minutes" ?
But the story is nice.
In the sound there's something that suddenly stops (a continuous sound "behind" the music)
Music is to much the same continuous rithm going on and on... Don't be afraid to "turn off the music" and to have "sound"..
What could sound as "obvious sounds" (footsteps, taking the can, closing a door) can also make it "whaaaaw". Some wind, crickets, a bird....
Music is good, and music can make your film have the "well yeah...it was nice...and we had a free drink" or "it was great, I want to see it again" reaction.
But...music has also a "down site"... Which you have learned (are learning) here I think.
For example in the scene where he's searching for someone...just the sound of his steps, some wind, crickets (or so) an owl, a crowl some sound of creaking and sweaking metals and woods
would have made it much more suspens.
Also when he's driving, just some radiomusic (program is better due of licence, which you also have to make yourself then...), sound of the car... sound of him (handling sounds) will make it much better.
Music is only needed...When it's needed.... A difference for example between "a composer" and " a musician" is that a composer will compose something that "flows" in the movie. A musician at the other hand will mostly try to "put his music on top" because he want's it to be heared... A composer wants it to be "felt" more. Well that's what I think.... Every musician and composer speak now
It's very dark also... I think you have bad luck it get's dark to fast over there and maybe you started to late in the evening. When it starts to look dark for your eyes, it is already dark for a camera.
And also the bad luck not having enough light etc...
When he's inside...a creaking floor...
The shots itself are nice...but it's in a way hard to say (because they're dark....) But they don't look bad.
I think the story itself is a bit to short to put it in 6minutes.... I have a feeling you had something of 2minutes first and then thought "what can I add more to make it 6 minutes" ?
But the story is nice.
Amir Assasnik
Active member
I really enjoyed this movie.
What I liked: I liked the ambiance of the film. It felt as though he really was alone and the town just had shut down because his arrival. I also liked the constant music it really produced a eerie feel to it. If i had those added sounds though as the previous poster stated it may.. or may have not improved it since I feel the direction you took was well worth it.
The bad... well its dark... so dark you lose the movie and the atmosphere. I also thought that the end was a little predictable. I think had we had some type of closure with the end such as he was hooked up to a machine pumping his lungs out or something along those lines we would have had a bit more complete movie.
These are just my two cents though good work.
What I liked: I liked the ambiance of the film. It felt as though he really was alone and the town just had shut down because his arrival. I also liked the constant music it really produced a eerie feel to it. If i had those added sounds though as the previous poster stated it may.. or may have not improved it since I feel the direction you took was well worth it.
The bad... well its dark... so dark you lose the movie and the atmosphere. I also thought that the end was a little predictable. I think had we had some type of closure with the end such as he was hooked up to a machine pumping his lungs out or something along those lines we would have had a bit more complete movie.
These are just my two cents though good work.
thetvirus513
Well-known member
REVIEW
Ok just watched this one after a nice little break. Overall I liked the concept, and the film as a whole was fun to watch.
What I liked - Classic "horror story" dilemna here which is always fun. The title on the window was nice, somewhat surprise ending and some cool shots. Also the room with like a million candles was pretty cool!
What I didn't like as much - It was mostly a montage of just images with music, no dialogue, no natural sound, etc. Echoed from above, half your shots were too dark for me to really see anything. I really liked the handheld/little bit of shake on the camera when he was in the car as it feels like you are in the car with him, but after he got out I was not a fan of it, some stabilization would have helped in my opinion. Also, the shot where he first gets out of the car and he is walking down the road and you pass time with a few dissolves, I would get rid of those, especially since the camera wasn't locked down, it draws my attention to the car moving in frame which isn't what you were going for. Lastly, This is just a nitpick, although opening the fridge and seeing (i think) a lot of bags of blood was cool, it wasn't believable to me. If I ran out of gas, creepily got into this house and was looking for someone, I doubt I would open the fridge, the motivation to do so just wasn't there for me.
Overall I think it was a fun film, and I would REALLY like to see this thing pushed up a couple stops, because I think as a film it has potential. I feel like I would have a much better idea of what is going on and would enjoy the film a lot more. All in all I enjoyed it though, good work!
Ok just watched this one after a nice little break. Overall I liked the concept, and the film as a whole was fun to watch.
What I liked - Classic "horror story" dilemna here which is always fun. The title on the window was nice, somewhat surprise ending and some cool shots. Also the room with like a million candles was pretty cool!
What I didn't like as much - It was mostly a montage of just images with music, no dialogue, no natural sound, etc. Echoed from above, half your shots were too dark for me to really see anything. I really liked the handheld/little bit of shake on the camera when he was in the car as it feels like you are in the car with him, but after he got out I was not a fan of it, some stabilization would have helped in my opinion. Also, the shot where he first gets out of the car and he is walking down the road and you pass time with a few dissolves, I would get rid of those, especially since the camera wasn't locked down, it draws my attention to the car moving in frame which isn't what you were going for. Lastly, This is just a nitpick, although opening the fridge and seeing (i think) a lot of bags of blood was cool, it wasn't believable to me. If I ran out of gas, creepily got into this house and was looking for someone, I doubt I would open the fridge, the motivation to do so just wasn't there for me.
Overall I think it was a fun film, and I would REALLY like to see this thing pushed up a couple stops, because I think as a film it has potential. I feel like I would have a much better idea of what is going on and would enjoy the film a lot more. All in all I enjoyed it though, good work!
Rylan Zolinski
Well-known member
Thanks for the comments! I am taking everything into consideration and appreciate the feedback. One thing that is a bit odd is the "darkness" of my film. When I played through on my 42" LCD, it actually looked too bright. I don't know if my monitor settings were super bright or what when I started editing but I find this a bit odd, haha.
As for the lack of dialogue, it's my glaring hole as a writer. I can't write dialogue. While I can put together a story, I can't write dialogue; not "yet" anyways. It's something I really need to practice or just get someone else to help me with. I also took not of the ambient sounds. Thanks a bunch! I really want people to tear my film apart so I know exactly what I didn't excel at. I can not grow as a filmmaker unless someone tells me what I do wrong. Thanks again!
Edit: As for the comment about having 2 minutes worth of story extended into 6 minutes... It's actually quite the opposite. I had more ideas to shoot which would have brought the story into more fruition but I ran out of time and some shots were left out. Procrastination got the best of me but I promised myself I am going to shoot my next short to the the best of my ability.
As for the lack of dialogue, it's my glaring hole as a writer. I can't write dialogue. While I can put together a story, I can't write dialogue; not "yet" anyways. It's something I really need to practice or just get someone else to help me with. I also took not of the ambient sounds. Thanks a bunch! I really want people to tear my film apart so I know exactly what I didn't excel at. I can not grow as a filmmaker unless someone tells me what I do wrong. Thanks again!
Edit: As for the comment about having 2 minutes worth of story extended into 6 minutes... It's actually quite the opposite. I had more ideas to shoot which would have brought the story into more fruition but I ran out of time and some shots were left out. Procrastination got the best of me but I promised myself I am going to shoot my next short to the the best of my ability.
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The less dialogues the better. Don't tell it but show it... So for your next don't suddenly put 5476547567375345357370344 lines of dialogue...
And about the settings, yes I think your monitor was to bright. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c5/Gray_scale.jpg
This can help... you have to see white, black and then about 7 steps in between...
And about the settings, yes I think your monitor was to bright. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c5/Gray_scale.jpg
This can help... you have to see white, black and then about 7 steps in between...
ZazaCast
Major Contributor
Haven't read through the comment so, excuse me if I repeat...
Great concept but it missed the mark for me. I think with a little work (and I hope you do the work and repost at a later date) this could be a tight little film.
- Some of the camerawork is way too shakey for my liking, it makes me ill. (I had to leave Cloverfield...along with others in the theatre)
- That droning synth music was over the top. Was there any reason I wanted to hear the radio broadcast better? Strike that... that was the required line! (had to play back a few times to hear it)
- Night shots seemed too dark for me. Did you ever consider day-for-night shooting?
- I don't mind the lack of dialogue, but you have to pay extra attention to the sound design, as it will then 'sell' the film. You were off in this department.
- You lost me on all the candles...why were they there?
Tweak this one and you'll be good to go!
Great concept but it missed the mark for me. I think with a little work (and I hope you do the work and repost at a later date) this could be a tight little film.
- Some of the camerawork is way too shakey for my liking, it makes me ill. (I had to leave Cloverfield...along with others in the theatre)
- That droning synth music was over the top. Was there any reason I wanted to hear the radio broadcast better? Strike that... that was the required line! (had to play back a few times to hear it)
- Night shots seemed too dark for me. Did you ever consider day-for-night shooting?
- I don't mind the lack of dialogue, but you have to pay extra attention to the sound design, as it will then 'sell' the film. You were off in this department.
- You lost me on all the candles...why were they there?
Tweak this one and you'll be good to go!
Hawk Teflon
Veteran
SPOILER REVIEW:
The good: That opening shot is awesome! The shots looked good and not too corrected up to about 2:08ish (then it looked like you tried to create night from day on a different day completely).
The not as good: This one seemed to miss the mark for me. The music was fine at first, but then it started looping a lot. There really wasn't much else to listen to, either. Then man goes into someones house looking for gas and opens their fridge. There wouldn't be any gas in there.
Suggestion: I would cut two minutes out of the first 2:30, and use that to develop some story in the town.
Favorite shot: The opening shot. It really looked awesome!
Don't let my review deter you, though ... I'm just one person.
The good: That opening shot is awesome! The shots looked good and not too corrected up to about 2:08ish (then it looked like you tried to create night from day on a different day completely).
The not as good: This one seemed to miss the mark for me. The music was fine at first, but then it started looping a lot. There really wasn't much else to listen to, either. Then man goes into someones house looking for gas and opens their fridge. There wouldn't be any gas in there.
Suggestion: I would cut two minutes out of the first 2:30, and use that to develop some story in the town.
Favorite shot: The opening shot. It really looked awesome!
Don't let my review deter you, though ... I'm just one person.