Richard J. Johnson
Joystick Member
loved it. He just left his man. Foul. Those kids were great.
"THE LEFT" A Film By Scott McDougal
- Thread starter Tunnelmen
- Start date
Homunculus
Carbonite Member
Honest assessment: the acting was pretty good. The locations were a tiny bit bland in terms of the forests. The train tracks I liked but I felt like the forests needed that sort of iconic a river runs through it look with the beams of light cutting through the canopy etc. i.e. maybe a slightly better time of day or location to shoot at though I know how hard that could be. Also I had a little trouble with the constant out of focus of the characters. Deliberate or not it felt a little too much but the story and voice over was very good.
RodThompson
Veteran
That tunnel is the creepiest **** I've seen since visiting a murder scene after the fact. Lol.
I liked the film, but felt that the intro V/O was too long and dry...
Kidding. Just needed something to say other than that tunnel bit. LOL.
Good Job. I love me some deliverance styled craziness.
I liked the film, but felt that the intro V/O was too long and dry...
Kidding. Just needed something to say other than that tunnel bit. LOL.
Good Job. I love me some deliverance styled craziness.
MrSeth
Well-known member
My critique for The Left
The story:
Very powerful words in the beginning! Normally I've found narrations to be boring but in this case it works very well.
The acting:
One of the hardest people to direct are children, and you did an amazing job at it!
The camerawork:
Really good. The blurriness of some of the shots truly capture the emotions that the actors were portraying. Good job!
The editing:
Very subtle... loved it!
The sound and music:
Loved the quality of the ADR -- very clear. You used silence very effectively.
Overall impression:
You used the theme betrayal very creatively.. I liked it! It's sad what happened to his friend.
My favorite shot:
The story:
Very powerful words in the beginning! Normally I've found narrations to be boring but in this case it works very well.
The acting:
One of the hardest people to direct are children, and you did an amazing job at it!
The camerawork:
Really good. The blurriness of some of the shots truly capture the emotions that the actors were portraying. Good job!
The editing:
Very subtle... loved it!
The sound and music:
Loved the quality of the ADR -- very clear. You used silence very effectively.
Overall impression:
You used the theme betrayal very creatively.. I liked it! It's sad what happened to his friend.
My favorite shot:
Rodney V. Smith
DVXFest Promo Guru
I just watched it and I'm afraid this one left me a little cold. While I get where you're coming from in terms of overall narrative, you took way too long to get there. Your editing choices with the long fades to black took me totally out of the picture and they either have to go completely or be shortened. It just felt very slow and drove me crazy becasue it wasn't effective storytelling.
Your core story is about the introudction to evil, the devil himself, but we're left to wander at the stsrt over some beutiful scenery and very nice shots, plus a really creepy tunnel... none of which actually affected the actual story. If you take out the voiceover element and go straight into it from the forest, establishing immediately that they were lost it would have been a much stronger beginning and drawn us into the story in a more immediate way. That's effective story-telling. Your introduction tot he bad man and what he's doing would have been more immediate and highly charged. You can actually do this with the footage you have right now. Go and recut it. Forget about what's written and look at what you have in the can and what your story wants to be. If you can tell a story without voiceover it's a strong one. The voiceover shoudl only ADD to the story, not tell the whole thing.
You have great photography, and good actors. Very strong child actors are hard to find and you;ve got them. But the editing kills this movie and your underlying message is lost a little. Enhance it. Edit it and really let it play with what you have without a single fade to black and you'll immediately have a much better film.
Good job for getting it all together. It was a good effort indeed. Now fire the writer (yourself) and let the directors vision come through the way it should.
Your core story is about the introudction to evil, the devil himself, but we're left to wander at the stsrt over some beutiful scenery and very nice shots, plus a really creepy tunnel... none of which actually affected the actual story. If you take out the voiceover element and go straight into it from the forest, establishing immediately that they were lost it would have been a much stronger beginning and drawn us into the story in a more immediate way. That's effective story-telling. Your introduction tot he bad man and what he's doing would have been more immediate and highly charged. You can actually do this with the footage you have right now. Go and recut it. Forget about what's written and look at what you have in the can and what your story wants to be. If you can tell a story without voiceover it's a strong one. The voiceover shoudl only ADD to the story, not tell the whole thing.
You have great photography, and good actors. Very strong child actors are hard to find and you;ve got them. But the editing kills this movie and your underlying message is lost a little. Enhance it. Edit it and really let it play with what you have without a single fade to black and you'll immediately have a much better film.
Good job for getting it all together. It was a good effort indeed. Now fire the writer (yourself) and let the directors vision come through the way it should.
Chris Messineo
Veteran
This was seriously creepy.
I thought the kids were very good. I liked how you mixed nostalgia and beauty with horror.
It reminded me of my days exploring as a kid and wandering through tunnels and sewers, although luckily I never came across anything like this.
Well done.
I thought the kids were very good. I liked how you mixed nostalgia and beauty with horror.
It reminded me of my days exploring as a kid and wandering through tunnels and sewers, although luckily I never came across anything like this.
Well done.
I like the betrayal at the end. I was wondering where the betrayal was going to come from up until that point, so I was surprised the kid just left, but not surprised there was something like that at that moment.
There are a few things that bothered me with the film though. The VO in the beginning was longer than it probably should have been. A lot of shots had the actors going in and out of focus quite a bit. I think the first 4 minutes should be much shorter, maybe only a minute or so. Reason is because nothing really happens until they actually get to the barn. The music didn't seem to fit the type of film. It was more of an organic and epic sound than chilling or creepy, which probably would work better in my opinion.
Aside from that, I like the story and acting by the kids. Good effort.
There are a few things that bothered me with the film though. The VO in the beginning was longer than it probably should have been. A lot of shots had the actors going in and out of focus quite a bit. I think the first 4 minutes should be much shorter, maybe only a minute or so. Reason is because nothing really happens until they actually get to the barn. The music didn't seem to fit the type of film. It was more of an organic and epic sound than chilling or creepy, which probably would work better in my opinion.
Aside from that, I like the story and acting by the kids. Good effort.
Matt Harris
Veteran
Tunnelmen, good stuff here.
I agree with Mike@AF on these 3 points:
- A lot of shots had the actors going in and out of focus quite a bit
- the first 4 minutes should be much shorter
- nothing really happens until they actually get to the barn
but overall i felt a stephen king vibe ala "IT" and "STAND BY ME" and once
we got to the barn with the serial killer and ties up kids I found your short very effective.
It just needs some tightening up in terms of editing. I would say less is more, and get us to the barn quicker!
I agree with Mike@AF on these 3 points:
- A lot of shots had the actors going in and out of focus quite a bit
- the first 4 minutes should be much shorter
- nothing really happens until they actually get to the barn
but overall i felt a stephen king vibe ala "IT" and "STAND BY ME" and once
we got to the barn with the serial killer and ties up kids I found your short very effective.
It just needs some tightening up in terms of editing. I would say less is more, and get us to the barn quicker!
Michael Anthony Horrigan
More Cowbell Pictures
Story: I had zero issues with the story so that's a good thing.
Acting: The kids were actually quite good, as was the creepy dude. No qualms there either. I also liked the voice over. Especially when it went from the adult to the child.
Technical: Here is where my issues fall. Some focus problems hurt this a little early on. I also thought that if you put more into your props that this could have gone to a whole new level. The chain used on the boy, etc...
The sound was also hit and miss. Sometimes you could hear them walking, sometimes you couldn't. Things like that.
As you make more films and get better and better I'm guessing that you will be one to watch out for. I really liked the mood that you created here.
Nice work.
MAH
Acting: The kids were actually quite good, as was the creepy dude. No qualms there either. I also liked the voice over. Especially when it went from the adult to the child.
Technical: Here is where my issues fall. Some focus problems hurt this a little early on. I also thought that if you put more into your props that this could have gone to a whole new level. The chain used on the boy, etc...
The sound was also hit and miss. Sometimes you could hear them walking, sometimes you couldn't. Things like that.
As you make more films and get better and better I'm guessing that you will be one to watch out for. I really liked the mood that you created here.
Nice work.
MAH
pborghee
Active member
Awesome story man. I loved the betrayal in it and the child actors were amazing. The only ting i can complain about was the sound. It was a major hurdle to get over. Sometimes it was loud and sometimes it was quiet. The voice over was nice. Sometimes i could tell there were some focus issues. the second thing would have to be the kill scene i wish you wouldnt have made the scene so fast and maybe we could ahve seen the boy kill the creepy man. I just think it was too planned out and seemed fake. All in all great movie and congrats.
ChrisHurn
Well-known member
Nice film. Very haunting in parts. Especially at the end with the V.O “Nobody ever asked about Thomas”. That’s pretty creepy.
The sound was pretty good – some nice creepy flesh sounds, the V.O was pretty good. The transition between the guy and the kid voice was a little rough, not sure how you could have sweetened that, but it was a little distracting. That’s just me being picky though.
Some very stylish shots in here – the slow push in close ups at around 1:51, cutting to that wide at 1:58ish. Loved the tunnel shot, and how it lingered there for a while. Cool track location, reminds me of Stand by me, which made me want to make a film around Train Tracks with kids the first time I saw it.
Nice score, subtle but effective. At first I wasn’t sure about that opening V.O but it actually grew on me quite a bit and by the second viewing I quite liked it.
Memorable Moment
That shot around 4:23 with the crazy score thing coming in was really creepy! Yikes!
Overall, nice work. Definitely left an impression. Congratulations on your work.
The sound was pretty good – some nice creepy flesh sounds, the V.O was pretty good. The transition between the guy and the kid voice was a little rough, not sure how you could have sweetened that, but it was a little distracting. That’s just me being picky though.
Some very stylish shots in here – the slow push in close ups at around 1:51, cutting to that wide at 1:58ish. Loved the tunnel shot, and how it lingered there for a while. Cool track location, reminds me of Stand by me, which made me want to make a film around Train Tracks with kids the first time I saw it.
Nice score, subtle but effective. At first I wasn’t sure about that opening V.O but it actually grew on me quite a bit and by the second viewing I quite liked it.
Memorable Moment
That shot around 4:23 with the crazy score thing coming in was really creepy! Yikes!
Overall, nice work. Definitely left an impression. Congratulations on your work.
Tunnelmen
Active member
Thanks again for the reviews! I can't wait to get started on my next project! Its crazy I know, this fest is just now open and I'm wanting to move on to another film. I almost wish that the fests would overlap...I really want to take it to the HNL (bad madtv reference...I really an SNL guy). I've let the actors know that they have been well recieved and they are excited! Thanks so much and keep those reviews comin!
Ben Sliker
Pain In The Ass 2.0
Love the exteriors. My parents live in Asheville, NC and those mountains are just a great place to shoot. Your story was really solid and the betrayal very fresh. Especially because I really felt the guilt that the older man had in his heart from what he did as a child.
The edit and sound design need the most improvement here i think. The film kind of meanders a bit and then all the sudden they are in the clutches of this killer. I really think that scene, playing out the betrayal in the barn could have really strengthened the story at play here. I don't want to tell you what to do with your edit, but if it was my choice, I'd tighten up that V.O. and start this film at about 2:00. That would give you more time to explore the betrayal. Well, there I go, rambling on.
Seriously... I'd come back as a ghost and kick that kid in the nuts if he was my friend.
Thanks for sharing and from the beginning of your thread it looks like you completed a journey yourself by getting back out and making movies again. Congrats!
The edit and sound design need the most improvement here i think. The film kind of meanders a bit and then all the sudden they are in the clutches of this killer. I really think that scene, playing out the betrayal in the barn could have really strengthened the story at play here. I don't want to tell you what to do with your edit, but if it was my choice, I'd tighten up that V.O. and start this film at about 2:00. That would give you more time to explore the betrayal. Well, there I go, rambling on.
Seriously... I'd come back as a ghost and kick that kid in the nuts if he was my friend.
Thanks for sharing and from the beginning of your thread it looks like you completed a journey yourself by getting back out and making movies again. Congrats!
hoz
Well-known member
creepy story!!
i thought the kids did a great job acting!
story - for me? almost. i don't know - it sure was creepy and i did want to know how things fared but i had a hard time believing the kids would try and look inside the barn. it felt a bit contrived, especially since the kids were already lost for awhile and wanted to leave the woods. maybe they could've thought the man in the barn was going to help them, but i didn't feel that's what the boys had in mind.
otherwise though this story does pack a good amount of evil. you casted the madman well.
congrats on your film!
i thought the kids did a great job acting!
story - for me? almost. i don't know - it sure was creepy and i did want to know how things fared but i had a hard time believing the kids would try and look inside the barn. it felt a bit contrived, especially since the kids were already lost for awhile and wanted to leave the woods. maybe they could've thought the man in the barn was going to help them, but i didn't feel that's what the boys had in mind.
otherwise though this story does pack a good amount of evil. you casted the madman well.
congrats on your film!
Great job! We liked this one. Had a great look, was shot well, and well polished. The kids were great actors, and it's definitely a challenge finding capable young actors. We were confused about how that small child overpowered the psychopath in the barn. And one bit of advice i would give is to do an audio crossfade from the older man's VO to the young boy's VO as opposed to having them pick up on the end of a word or part of the sentence. And for a long time we didn't know which kid was telling the story. But all in all nice job! Liked this one very much.
What a shocker! The part where the creepy guy jumps out was very shocking I mean.
Beautiful countryside, good acting. One thing that distracted me was yo' young child character who was a social throw-away didn't look like a throw away, he looked just average and normal. I mean there wasn't a register that he was a throw away. May not be important, but it's stuck in my mind.
Lots of good stuff in this film, even slashers/psychos are not my thing. But, liked the betrayal aspect. Good work.
Beautiful countryside, good acting. One thing that distracted me was yo' young child character who was a social throw-away didn't look like a throw away, he looked just average and normal. I mean there wasn't a register that he was a throw away. May not be important, but it's stuck in my mind.
Lots of good stuff in this film, even slashers/psychos are not my thing. But, liked the betrayal aspect. Good work.
The first 5 seconds where good because I wanted to watch the next 5 seconds.
The voice at the beginning is good... but personally I don't like the accent. Although I might not say this because I'm not native English myself... (As maybe noticed already
)
The changeover in the voice from man to kid could have been better maybe... Although it's quite good.
I'm little confused with myself if I miss ambiance sound of the tunnel or not. The silence makes it actualy more scary then there would be that tipical, windy, rumble, drone sound...
But at the other hand.. maybe it could help....
The ambiance could have been more "night sounding" during the evening/night scenes.
The crow suddenly stopped... fade out.... But you have also used the wrong crow.
It's like I hear someone breathing at the left side (left speaker) at 02:32
The cut away to empty space, fade in to the 2 boys.... I don't know... not realy needed for me... I know it was ment to make a time laps. But some differences in sound could have helped also.
The flashlight effect with the sound effect... it was sync... but it was not sync to my feeling. When adding that kind ouf SFX, it's better to watch the screen without looking at the frames.
I don't believe the door.... at 03:20
The scene where the two kids get caught by the devil (or his brother) not that much suspense... A moment of "rest" was better.
Story-wise there something in it. Sound-wise it's a bit weak... And I wanted to see more of the devil.
The voice at the beginning is good... but personally I don't like the accent. Although I might not say this because I'm not native English myself... (As maybe noticed already
)The changeover in the voice from man to kid could have been better maybe... Although it's quite good.
I'm little confused with myself if I miss ambiance sound of the tunnel or not. The silence makes it actualy more scary then there would be that tipical, windy, rumble, drone sound...
But at the other hand.. maybe it could help....
The ambiance could have been more "night sounding" during the evening/night scenes.
The crow suddenly stopped... fade out.... But you have also used the wrong crow.
It's like I hear someone breathing at the left side (left speaker) at 02:32
The cut away to empty space, fade in to the 2 boys.... I don't know... not realy needed for me... I know it was ment to make a time laps. But some differences in sound could have helped also.
The flashlight effect with the sound effect... it was sync... but it was not sync to my feeling. When adding that kind ouf SFX, it's better to watch the screen without looking at the frames.
I don't believe the door.... at 03:20
The scene where the two kids get caught by the devil (or his brother) not that much suspense... A moment of "rest" was better.
Story-wise there something in it. Sound-wise it's a bit weak... And I wanted to see more of the devil.