Chris_Keaton
ScriptFEST Mod
Sorry about your recent membership to a NeoNazi mailing list. Try explaining that to your neighbors. :2vrolijk_08:
THE DEVIL'S TOY - a Sprocketboy production
- Thread starter Sprocketboy
- Start date
Sorry about your recent membership to a NeoNazi mailing list. Try explaining that to your neighbors. :2vrolijk_08:
EditPhish
Well-known member
Oddly enough, I have one of those old army-surplus stores in my area that sells Nazi stuff, and we recently stumbled across an old thrift store in Pennsylvania that also had some (including a flag). Totally bizarre to walk into any old store and find knives, swords, umbrellas, walking sticks, flags, etc. with the swastika on them.
Your costumes and set design were fabulous, so it paid off!
Sprocketboy
Well-known member
That's amazing. You have a store near you with Nazi paraphernalia? I wish I knew sooner. Thanks for the kudos on the costumes and set designs. They are several of the many burdens I took on when making this film. Thankfully, I didn't have to do the catering too.
I notice you're from NY. Are you located near New York City? I'm planning a showing in Queens NY. Its a newly renovated social club/bar with a screening room. You are invited to show your film if you want. Its an open invitation to anyone who lives in the tri-state area. I'll post a notice once I have a solid date for the showing.
Rodney V. Smith
DVXFest Promo Guru
The way things are going I might be here throuogh November, so consider me living here for the moment. Invite me and I'll do over your review. :grin:
Sprocketboy
Well-known member
You are definitely invited. Your stay is unpredictable, so I don't know if you'll be around when it happens. I'm hoping for the very end of November.
You don't have to re-write the review. I maybe in Brooklyn in the next week or so. You can tell me what you thought in person. A close friend of mine owns a pretty popular wine and chocolate bar on 7th Ave (Park Slope). We can hangout there.
Horncastle
Well-known member
Great film, very polished, solid performances. Just two little comments: 1. I preferred the blood being sucked back into the box rather than the guts. 2. At about 00.59 you cut to the soldiers before the kid says "Grandpa found it in a concentration camp" - this is an important cut in the film since it introduces the soldiers and I feel it should have been just a little later. Great attention to details like the VFX sparks on his helmet and then when the shootout is over he puts his hand to his helmet as though to say "wow, that was close!". Good job, a high score for sure.
jasonthewho
Veteran
Nice film! I enjoyed it a lot. Frame stories are an iffy thing, and I think it was somewhat of a detriment to this film, given the length. I don't feel like there is enough conflict in the present day story-line. Perhaps if as the light started to flicker, the hesitant kid tried to stop his brother, and almost succeeds, but then his brother finally finishes the song. That way we might think they are going to be able to escape their fate. As it is, it seemed to set in stone.
It sounds like you're going to revisit the shooting the Nazi scene. That was the only other thing I had big issues with.
Overall, a really solid film. A real challenge with all of the crazy locations, props, and production design, but I think you pulled it off for the most part. I especially liked the dead bodies, being swarmed by flies.
It sounds like you're going to revisit the shooting the Nazi scene. That was the only other thing I had big issues with.
Overall, a really solid film. A real challenge with all of the crazy locations, props, and production design, but I think you pulled it off for the most part. I especially liked the dead bodies, being swarmed by flies.
EditPhish
Well-known member
Yeah, there's this little army surplus store that's been there forever (at least since I was a kid) and they often have Nazi stuff. It's pretty cool (in an historical kind of way). My brother (who was our Monster) is into World War II history bigtime, and it's why I remember it so much... we had thought of buying something for him there!
We're not too far from Queens at all and would definitely come! JTyner grew up in Queens (Jackson Heights) and knows it well... we often eat at a little cuban/chinese place on 82nd street.
I'll keep my eye out for your showing... we'd love to come!
Sprocketboy
Well-known member
Thanks a lot for watching and giving feedback. The end box scene will have to stay the way it is... I like it, but more so, I have some new ideas to improve upon it. I have a feeling you are right about putting the boy's VO a second or two later. All the actors in the WWII scenes were given specific details about their characters, then I let them explore those characters under the spontaneity of the moment. Those reactions are all theirs. I block the action and did little to no correction in the acting dept. I'm glad you appreciated the shootout scene. There is a lot of detail buried within it. It lasts five seconds, but it still needs a little tweaking to get it to play perfectly. Thanks again.
The same thing ran through my mind after reading the script. I wasn't sure if I wanted to deal with a framed storyline, but damn, it is one of the best boogeyman stories I've read in awhile. I couldn't resist. Its really an 8 min short, but cut it down for the fest and lost a lot of the tension. Next time, I have to not lose my sensibilities and realize what I need to simplify the story. That way I can get a lot more drama out of a moment in time. In 6 mins, big stories do not unfold very well. Small moments do.
I wish there was more conflict in the bookend scenes myself, but I was walking on egg shells when we finally began shooting those scenes. We were 3 hours behind schedule on a Sunday night and I had to get the show on the road. Those boys had to go to school the next day. I was going to explore many different approaches between the kids but it wasn't meant to be. Those scenes are set in stone.
Thanks for your insight and perspective. It is very much appreciated. I'm glad you enjoyed the film.
Sprocketboy
Well-known member
Excellent. I will keep you informed.
kennethhurd
Well-known member
Good job on the film. I liked the idea of the jack in the box. Your camera work is really good and your actors do a good job. However, I found myself more interested in the present day segments instead of the war segments. For me, it seemed to lose some of the tension during those scenes. I also felt that once we know what the box does, it took the suspense out of the ending. I think it would have been interesting to see things progress both in the past as well as the present where the kids turn the knob on the jack in the box and then we see what happens in the past, and it ends with the blood flowing into the box in the present, just something to keep the tension going throughout the whole film. Overall, you did a really good job and it's definitely one of the stand outs.
Sprocketboy
Well-known member
Thanks for your input. Parallel editing the moment the box opens between the past and the present is a very interesting idea, but I find it difficult to try that right now. I can tell you one thing since the fest began, and the comments came rolling in, I have re-visited the film on the timeline. I have a whole new version that is almost done. I like it very much. Thanks to this community.
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Rodney V. Smith
DVXFest Promo Guru
Dude I loved your movie. Iit's an instant favorite, right into my top 10. You've got a good story, solid production value and you've made a compellling film.
A few things have stayed with me, some that could be improved on and some that you just have to bear in mind for the next project.
Opening scene definitely needed a wider shot to establish a little more. Wish you could have gotten a grampa and shot past him to the boys on the ground. The segue to the flashback came a little too early. Just a couple of frames off there.
My first thought is that your soldiers were way too clean. For the environment some bits of dust, sweat, grease... some sign that they have been out there fighting a war... those signs would have been good to see, and added more believability than any grading. It's the TONE of the scene.
Only one Nazi guard? That one threw me for a loop, but I was willing to let it pass since it could be plausible in the realm of the story.
Oh I LOVED the shot with the lights in the foreground and the soldiers entered. Pure cinema through and through. That shot, more than anything else sets the tone of that scene. That was kind of a unique perspective and it would have been good to see some of that carry through into the remainder of the shots. The colors and feel we get from that one shot... so damn cool.
Definitely take out the splash of blood on the camera. It's the one effect that really didn't work for me. The other were really good though what with the spark and everything else. Oh yeah, and the flashing Nazi symbol in the circle... not so necessary.
The box was great and I really do like the sucking up of the blood... and the empty costumes. Grade the blood blood darker though.
This was a soild work and I enjoyed it all the way through. The kids were GREAT actors. I'm glad you got that performance out of them.
This was the short version of my review BTW.
A few things have stayed with me, some that could be improved on and some that you just have to bear in mind for the next project.
Opening scene definitely needed a wider shot to establish a little more. Wish you could have gotten a grampa and shot past him to the boys on the ground. The segue to the flashback came a little too early. Just a couple of frames off there.
My first thought is that your soldiers were way too clean. For the environment some bits of dust, sweat, grease... some sign that they have been out there fighting a war... those signs would have been good to see, and added more believability than any grading. It's the TONE of the scene.
Only one Nazi guard? That one threw me for a loop, but I was willing to let it pass since it could be plausible in the realm of the story.
Oh I LOVED the shot with the lights in the foreground and the soldiers entered. Pure cinema through and through. That shot, more than anything else sets the tone of that scene. That was kind of a unique perspective and it would have been good to see some of that carry through into the remainder of the shots. The colors and feel we get from that one shot... so damn cool.
Definitely take out the splash of blood on the camera. It's the one effect that really didn't work for me. The other were really good though what with the spark and everything else. Oh yeah, and the flashing Nazi symbol in the circle... not so necessary.
The box was great and I really do like the sucking up of the blood... and the empty costumes. Grade the blood blood darker though.
This was a soild work and I enjoyed it all the way through. The kids were GREAT actors. I'm glad you got that performance out of them.
This was the short version of my review BTW.
alex whitmer
Veteran
Nice film all around. Story was nice, but the Nazi factor felt like it was the path of least resistance to give this a historical backdrop. Maybe some obscure conflict would have been more interesting.
My only nit on the set was the soldiers were too clean, and looked like they just picked their uniforms up at the cleaners. Pressed and ready for battle?
Enjoyed the flick.
aw
My only nit on the set was the soldiers were too clean, and looked like they just picked their uniforms up at the cleaners. Pressed and ready for battle?
Enjoyed the flick.
aw
DarkMatter
Veteran
The nazi, occult, artifact, aspect to this film really added a great dimension to the feel of this story. It could have been a true story, considering the historical background behind the story. I admit after watching this, I looked up Jack-In-the-Box and learned about the lore behind this. Great job! I loved the end scene with the entrails being pulled into the box. I would like to see this in a feature.
Chris_Keaton
ScriptFEST Mod
Hey Alex glad to see you back in these parts.
Sprocketboy
Well-known member
Rodney- thanks for taking the time to rewrite your comments. Much of what you wrote are already corrected. I also found another thing that no one cared to mention. Once I made that particular change it had a profound effect on the entire mood of the story. The minor issues irked me before uploading the film to this forum, but not much I can do considering the deadline. It was a lot to handle. I'm pulling back on the reins on anything I make here in the future. It must stay small and manageable. I'll leave the big stuff for features where time and hopefully money are not as big of an issue.
Thanks to everyone else for your comments. Its very much appreciated.
Thanks to everyone else for your comments. Its very much appreciated.
Robert Eldon
Well-known member
Really good story telling with this one. I always like a film that starts with kids 'exploring' old stuff and explaining the history of the item or the 'myth' of the item.
Real good camera work and motivated camera angles. Great cinematography. I liked how you showed different periods of time. It's always a challenge to do a 'period' piece of do flashbacks, but you pulled it off very well. I would have liked to have seen the war flashback a little more 'grungy' with the characters and maybe the colorization (more so in the exterior shot). I did like the lighting and subdued color with the interior (warehouse?) shots.
You really had some great locations and special effects, but the effects didn't seem over used. Nice
Favorite shots were the boys running in the rain to the barn, and of the lights as the army men were entering the building, about TC 1:27.
Great job and good story telling! :thumbsup:
Real good camera work and motivated camera angles. Great cinematography. I liked how you showed different periods of time. It's always a challenge to do a 'period' piece of do flashbacks, but you pulled it off very well. I would have liked to have seen the war flashback a little more 'grungy' with the characters and maybe the colorization (more so in the exterior shot). I did like the lighting and subdued color with the interior (warehouse?) shots.
You really had some great locations and special effects, but the effects didn't seem over used. Nice
Favorite shots were the boys running in the rain to the barn, and of the lights as the army men were entering the building, about TC 1:27.
Great job and good story telling! :thumbsup:
Chris Messineo
Veteran
I thought this film was great. I liked the story a lot and I thought the performances were excellent. Well done.