So brightly in the dark - Lawrie Brew :P

Your box is to full for me to respond, but I guess i can post it here.

The wonderful thing about short films is that we can expirement. If an idea works then great, if it doesn't, no worries it's just a short. I certainly explore some ideas that may or may not work in a feature, but could play in a short. Again congrats on creating a delightfully creepy vibe.
 
Thanks Keaton and Jason cheers guys - and cleared my pms Darkline!

Oh and for old times sake - *falls on knees*

Keeeaaaaton!!!!
 
Hey Lawrie, I just watched your film again and I wanted to amend my original comment in your thread with a note I made in Darkline's thread.

Mike Manning said:
These are distinctive choices on your part and, as far as I'm concerned, the reasons for your choices aren't as important to me as the effect they have on the film. Bottom line, they make the film good! I'm also just happy that choices were made. I get the impression from a lot of films in these fests that many of the necessary components of film making are overlooked or left at the whim of what was available to filmmaker. This includes casting "actors" who are friends, using one's home as a "location," etc. Everything in your film helps to provide an authenticity to the film that's unseen in most of the other films in this fest. Bravo!
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This very much applies to your film too! And for that, you're right up there with Karl at the top of my list.
 
That's a real privilage Mike, and likewise - I've been an admire of your work for sometime and have A Work of Art on me ol' desktop folder of films i like to play. Fact I played it at a short film training workshop i did with the community - showing them various ways of expressing ideas (as part of a film festival i was organising) Thanks man :)
 
Horncastle said:
Well, I think it was actually - I believe only the first few words came from the book, the rest was pure Lawriejaffa, am I right Lawrie? I'm hoping it was, because it's a beautiful piece of writing: I'd prefer to call it a poetic accompaniment to the film rather than a voice over. You really put yourself on the line doing that but I think it came off very well really (and it fit in very well with Sarah's beautiful, and very varied, score). A sort of cinematographic version of Nick Caves "Murder Ballads". It also brought to mind Terence Davies' poetic commentary to his documentary on Liverpool "Of time and the City" which we watched recently (a truly beautiful film). Those are two really big compliments so maybe I'd better add that you are not quite there yet :evil: but if you did write it you're not so far off.
I think your actor's performance was probably better than in any of your previous films. He really did look like a cat as he comes across the garden in that opening scene, but not in too exaggerated a fashion. As I said the score was great - especially Sarah's (?) voice unaccompanied while the actor is dressing and the "church choir' music in the red street scene, but the unnerving sound effects were good too. The ending was satisfactorily ambiguous and confusing for a Lawrie Jaffa film, but I don't think that mattered, probably helped make it creepier actually. Obviously there's some sort of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde thing going on: "In the heart of every child lies a frightened mortal trying to escape".
Great entry.
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Well I know the end internal dialogue was original. That was a poem he wrote, if I'm not mistaken. I liked the use of the fable and the mask connection I was just being nitpicky in saying it would be a bonus if he wrote the fable too.
 
lawriejaffa said:
Cheers Susanne and Sebastion :)

Here is the end monologue (posting it for a bit of well girm fun! X) Also if folks would like i could post a link to the full version of Sarah's song.


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]In the heart of every child lies a frightened mortal dying to escape. In their timid utterances I taste their confessions, those sweet indiscretions that so frighten old mothers. There whispered to me, young secrets, from trembling lips. Our intimate prelude to final embrace. Frantic epitaphs are scratched across my brow by outstretched fingers. Our flesh and memory mingling into one. [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]We predators speed the unpreventable decay, rescuing those enslaved upon the slow march to oblivion. The goose is spared thus by the fox.[/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Never have I felt more pathetic than when they called me human. I won't hear it said again, for I shall tear the throat of every infant, and bask in the setting sun of that contemptible race. [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Extinction is beautiful. [/FONT]
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I couldn't make out the end vo very well. Having read this, it makes me feel like he is killing people because he does not view himself as a human and hates them. If thats correct then I understand his motives much better and the end scene more clear.
 
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Yep thats right filmcritic at least by my understanding of the character :) - but its like i say, someone might draw another interpretation and thats fine too, Mike Manning hits the nail on the head.
 
lawriejaffa said:
That's a real privilage Mike, and likewise - I've been an admire of your work for sometime and have A Work of Art on me ol' desktop folder of films i like to play. Fact I played it at a short film training workshop i did with the community - showing them various ways of expressing ideas (as part of a film festival i was organising) Thanks man :)
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Oh? How was it received? I really appreciate you showing it. Hit me up next time, I'll give you the longer cut of it at a higher resolution. :)
 
Oh it was recieved really well - see what i particularly like is the mood, ambient and psychology of your film - and its romantic delusion as it were and the way that is expressed. Its effective but feels so very subtle. In the workshop setting it was just a half dozen folks wanting to learn techniques and ideas, so i had a few dvx films in my fav to watch folder, and it fitted really well with an exercise they were studying. In anycase it was treated with oohs and ahs, and singular remarks such as 'oh that was really good' and 'i liked that' - nobody seemed to shake there heads going ugh! I hated it! Its certainly an old fav of mine!
 
Lawrie, you've done so very well with this picture!

It's fascinating to me how the film is presented in such a darkly whimsical manner in the beginning. It sets a great tone for proper folklore steeped in Gothic surrealism, and after the title card, the film really begins to ratchet up the chills.

To begin, I absolutely love the presentation of the film overall. As I mentioned to you before, this film seems to pull a lot of pacing, framing, and atmospheric influence from tried-and-true filmmakers like David Lynch, Andrei Tarkovsky, or even Bela Tarr (at least a few brief moments in the film reminded me of Tarr). The sequence in which the lead readies himself in a terrific suit left me with chills shimmering down my spine.

The reason isn't just in the unsettling and intimidating sound design or the actor slipping from silly camp to genuine creep but in the editing. The film is extremely well cut and moves at a very balanced pace.

On the cinematographic front, I was extremely pleased with the subtlety of the color palette and the use of bright, opaque rooms contrasted with dark, starkly lit night sequences. It really lends to the credibility of the film's subtle surrealism and certainly to the foreboding nature of the voice over. It's as if the film just pulls you in and readies you for "thrilling" sensations.

Honestly, I have very little to critique about this film. I suppose one could say the actor slipped into silly territory at times, but the last scene really hits home that he isn't fooling around. I'll check the film out again and report back if I find anything that sticks out to me.

Excellent work. :thumbsup:
 
Here's a link to Sarah's full song 'So Brightly in the Dark' :) http://exposureroom.com/1296ca206f624fbdbc713c55ebf04e6e/

Checked in with Noel first :)

My shirt is crisp, my collar sharp,
I see by glasses fixed with tape
And wear a pen in my pocket
That spells your name.

Well, crimson is hard to brush...
In fitted suits, metal tins and skin
I hide the loved ones binned.

They cower in my silent room,
As I watch with eyes unblinking,
You all shine so brightly in the dark.

Alone, your babies shall sleep tonight
As soft fodder for claws snapped tight.

When they cry, watch me fly
Up... up... up into the moon lit sky,
To where I extinguish young lives.

Nightshirt folded, creases pressed,
I wipe my glasses, cleaned to rest,
And wear my conscience in a pocket
Filled with milk teeth.

Well, crimson is hard to brush...
In fitted suits, metal tins and skin
I hide the loved ones binned.

They cower in my silent room,
As I watch with eyes unblinking,
You all shine so brightly in the dark.

Alone, your babies shall sleep tonight
As soft fodder for claws snapped tight.

When they cry, watch me fly
Up... up... up into the moon lit sky,
To where I extinguish young lives.

When they cry, watch me fly
Up... up... up into the moon lit sky,
Up... up... up...
 
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lawriejaffa said:
Here's a link to Sarah's full song 'So Brightly in the Dark' :) http://exposureroom.com/1296ca206f624fbdbc713c55ebf04e6e/

Checked in with Noel first :)

My shirt is crisp, my collar sharp,
I see by glasses fixed with tape
And wear a pen in my pocket
That spells your name.

Well, crimson is hard to brush...
In fitted suits, metal tins and skin
I hide the loved ones binned.

They cower in my silent room,
As I watch with eyes unblinking,
You all shine so brightly in the dark.

Alone, your babies shall sleep tonight
As soft fodder for claws snapped tight.

When they cry, watch me fly
Up... up... up into the moon lit sky,
To where I extinguish young lives.

Nightshirt folded, creases pressed,
I wipe my glasses, cleaned to rest,
And wear my conscience in a pocket
Filled with milk teeth.

Well, crimson is hard to brush...
In fitted suits, metal tins and skin
I hide the loved ones binned.

They cower in my silent room,
As I watch with eyes unblinking,
You all shine so brightly in the dark.

Alone, your babies shall sleep tonight
As soft fodder for claws snapped tight.

When they cry, watch me fly
Up... up... up into the moon lit sky,
To where I extinguish young lives.

When they cry, watch me fly
Up... up... up into the moon lit sky,
Up... up... up...
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Just awesome. I'm going to give this a proper listen tonight. :)
 
Wow.
Yes, the shot composition and music was beautifully done.
I have to disagree with some of the criticism regarding the VO. For me at least, it functioned as part of the story instead of simply serving as a device; without it, it wouldn't have been the movie that it is.
Wonderful view of reality through the eyes of one who finds everything surreal. At one point during my initial viewing I had the thought that this is guy is what Gomer Pyle from Full Metal Jacket would have been had he not gone into the Marines.
I was a fan of Empire, and I love this as well. Don't mean to gush, but I find your work delightfully disturbing and awe-inspiring.
 
Wow, Lawrie. You're so. . .different! LOL!! You really always step outside the box. Any story you tell is going to have it's own little niche and that's a compliment. This story was CRAZY and by that I mean freakin' NUTS! But I know that's what you were going for. There was some really stellar cinematography in here and it really pulled me in with those opening shots. I thought the story was weird, but I'll tell you one thing, I was engaged the whole time and even if the story didn't work so much for me, your filmmaking and writing commanded my utmost respect. I'm definitely going to go back and watch it again. Nice job and keep doing your thing, man!
 
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