"LISA" A Ramsaur Film

The t1i has some great audio but the BG noise is too much. But we had a boom operator/sound recordist there operating on my RODE NTG-2 and it sounds soooo much better. So you'll be hearing audio from that.

And thanks about the comments. I actually got crept and freaked out after watching it on my on a couple times. So I hope you all enjoy it when it comes out tomorrow hopefully.
 
Last edited:
From my notes.

Could have cut out the noticeable camera bump at the end of the opening shot.
Acting seems a bit wooden. The Lead actress is good though, as are the followers.
Great VFX/sound/score. Really liked the score in this one.
Great makeup!
See you got a good DP. :)
Little fuzzy on the ending but overall this is your best yet.

MAH
 
I liked some of your special effects, though some of them seemed gratuitous (I'm not sure I get why you set the story in a future world - what purpose it served in the story).

There were times when it looked REALLY good... but there were also times, not so much. Did you have problems with lighting consistency? Did you change your color grading process along the way? The look just didn't seem to me to stay consistent.

I also think the sound needed some work, but I liked the soundtrack.

It was an interesting concept and I certainly didn't get bored watching it, but I did feel a little confused in the end. Overall it scored about in the middle for me because it just wasn't as tight as it could have been, but I did enjoy watching it.
 
Matthew. Seeing some improvement IMO over last fest. But still seeing the same issues with sound and lighting (although improved). The acting was a bit stiff. None really believable. Some of the shot choices seemed a little thrown together. Score was excellent.

Im going to say this with a big spoonful of respect. Ive said it in past fests to you as well. IMO you should do one short and make sure every component works 100% (havent seen Thirst yet... now I have and I think it reiterates my point).

In these two shorts you had two writers, and Im not sure you conveyed either story as intended by either writer.

I can see what you're trying to do. And being a prolific filmmaker is an admirable pursuit and I commend you on actually completing two. But I just dont think the end result is showing the full potential.
 
I was confused by the ending. One shot that stood out though, was the cnn TV shot. That was so great. They only thing I would do to that is take out the "rec" in the top right corner. You only see that when you're actually looking in the camera. The makeup was very good in here. One guy looked like the original Michael Myers from "Halloween." Very scary indeed. There's definitely some potential here and it stood out in some parts more than others. Good luck!
 
Hey guys thanks for the feedback so far! Me and Alex Whitmer are going to re write a few things for a few minutes longer version to make it all understandable so everyone can understand as to what is going on. The end really is:

**SPOILERS HERE**
As she puts the painting into her she is giving the painting her soul so she can become mortal. The end when watching the news report it is telling that of course the painting was stolen. It's a little too grainy behind what is going on. But the zombies who dressed up as guards stole the painting. The painting was on tour from the Louvre.
**END SPOILERS HERE**

@ Noel Evans - About the should stick with one film. I now do agree. After starting a 2nd film when I could have worked more on LISA is when I told myself I should have done one film overall. So any next fests I do, I will be doing one film :)

If anyone just doesn't understand anything else just shoot me a PM and I'll let you know or you can wait later this month when we release the version that explains everything.

Thanks for all the comments and keep them coming. We need them as well to help us with the longer version, so feel free to leave longer/descriptive critiques.
 
Hey ramsaur, I watched this last night and enjoyed it! I wasn't really sure what the story was about. I'm guessing, they steal artwork, step into the painting and it allow them to be normal for a while? Story aside, you had some cool after effects 3d interfaces, and the desk hologram projection was creepy too. There was one shot as you dollied by all the actors sitting on the floor. The close ups of their faces were blue-sih and creepy, I would have kept that same look for all of their scenes. Everyone in the room saw that scene and said Whoooo, that's sick. Good overall work, I look forwards to seeing more great films from you in the future!! :-)
 
Oh, Mona Lisa.

I think that your "monsters" are probably the scariest in the fest. They remind me of some obscure cult acting out demonic stuff. Spooky.

The special effects, while well executed and visually interesting, stepped in front of the story.

Great job on the old fist through stomach gag. Grotesque.

All of a sudden Mona Lisa?

The concept's there (as far as the "monsters" appearance) but it needs reasons why.

Now. Perfect.
 
Somehow this short made more sense to me when I watched it than when I read it. Didn't fully understand what was happening, but that didn't stop my enjoyment of it. Everyone liked the makeup, but I didn't. Don't know what's wrong with me, but there was the one zombie you used in your promo pictures that really looks good in it, but everyone else just looks like stuff was plastered onto their faces and not part of their faces. I think your baddie did a great job. Your news cast also looked great. Overall good job.
 
I just watched the film and while it was creepy to see the dead-like class there, the entire story itself I found confusing. The motives, the story itself, it was difficult to follow and the ending I also didn't get and why the Mona Lisa? Why not some other painting?

Things just were a tad confusing.
 
There were some very nice elements in this: cinematography, make-up, special effects... The biggest problem for me is the storytelling. Important moments need to be emphasized and shown from the right perspective.

For instance, when the guy walks into the room, sees the zombie people, and turns and runs - we see all this from across the room from him. We need to be in his face, in a closeup, seeing his reaction. Then we spend far too much time watching the zombies file out of the room, when the focus should be on the guy trying to escape, with the occasional shot of the zombies getting closer. Also on a logic point, he tries to get back into the elevator (which looks like a closet?) but he never tries the door to his left.

Anyway, I definitely think your films are improving, but I want you to constantly remind yourself to make sure you are telling the story in a clear, effective way.
 
Last edited:
Charli said:
I just watched the film and while it was creepy to see the dead-like class there, the entire story itself I found confusing. The motives, the story itself, it was difficult to follow and the ending I also didn't get and why the Mona Lisa? Why not some other painting?

Things just were a tad confusing.
Click to expand...
I believe she was Mina Lisa, or is now. Like her soul was trapped in the painting.
She begins to step through the picture and then looks quite different at the end of the film.

Maybe Alex will expound on this.

MAH
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top