I have a confession......

Doc Bernard

Doc Bernard

Indie Arms Member
I am facing mid-life crisis. And instead of going out and buying a flashy car (no money), or finding a trophy wife (not attractive enough and reason #1).....I have come to a determination.

I am going to return to my former line of work. EMS. The field I got immense job satisfaction but got burnt-out in. I was halfway to my RN degree when I said "screw it". But looking at my life, and yes, I have a lot of successes, I am not satisfied. I have done things many people would call me crazy for doing, but I won't list them. If I died today, I know I have lived a full life. LOL, I could write a book........and have considered it and turned down film offers.

But I feel I am not making a real difference in this world. And it sickens me.

Yes, my current job has given me accolades, modifying the mic that won Taylor Swift the CMA 2010 award, I worked on the mic that Robert Plant recorded "Band of Joy" on, I attained my degree in Audio engineering (3rd in my class) etc..... It's not enough.

I want a personal interaction and direct result of that interaction. I miss it. And I feel I have ducked my responsibility by leaving EMS. I was good at it!

I know, I sound like I am just whining. But since I left, I have not been happy and that has been 8 years. Since then, I have not felt satisfied about any job I have held. There has always been something "missing".

In two weeks, I re-cert in the first step, First-Aid/CPR Instructor. I am going to continue with Indie-arms, focusing on Indie's and student films. But as a day job.....I want more satisfaction. I know this sounds like I am bragging.....but I am not: I have "succeeded" in everything I tried and if I chose to, I know I could be successful in whatever I chose to do.

But success does not mean satisfaction and personal pride. And that's what I am missing in my life. Pride in what I do and knowing I made a difference.
 
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I know what you mean Doc.

Some years ago when I worked EMS; it was a really great feeling to get the instant gratification of helping people there and then. It's impossible to think your job isn't important when you are genuinely making a difference in someone's life right in front of your eyes, in your own hands.

Good luck with your decision, and I hope you find that satisfaction again soon.

All who answer to the call of 911 are true heroes in my book. :beer:


- Mikko ... has utmost respect for those that go into harms way (including their sanity) to help others.
 
mikkowilson said:
I know what you mean Doc.

Some years ago when I worked EMS; it was a really great feeling to get the instant gratification of helping people there and then. It's impossible to think your job isn't important when you are genuinely making a difference in someone's life right in front of your eyes, in your own hands.

Good luck with your decision, and I hope you find that satisfaction again soon.

All who answer to the call of 911 are true heroes in my book. :beer:


- Mikko ... has utmost respect for those that go into harms way (including their sanity) to help others.
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Glad to know someone understood what I was saying. I was afraid it sounded like I was bragging or something. And that is the furthest from the truth.

Thanks man. What you said means a lot, you understand.
 
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I worked for almost 20 years in EMS as an EMT, Paramedic, Field Supervisor and as an Instructor Coordinator. I can be very rewarding, personally. Good luck.
 
David G. Smith said:
.......I can be very rewarding, personally. Good luck.
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From your POV, am I being selfish? You have been down the road I was on, and lasted longer than I did.

Is personal satisfaction selfish? I want to do this, and get back what I had. But it would be foolish of me not to look at that aspect.
 
Man, if you can get up in the morning and be excited about what you are going to be doing the rest of the day, and then be satisfied with the day when you get home, then go for it. That is not selfish.... that is self preservation. Anyone close to you should support that.
 
Doc Bernard said:
I am going to continue with Indie-arms, focusing on Indie's and student films. But as a day job.....I want more satisfaction.
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Give me your gear, you wont need it, and it will make you feel better not being tied down to your now past
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LOL, nice try......... Plus, some of the stuff I have.........I would have to destroy, rather than sell, to keep me on the right side of the law.
 
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

[guitar solo]

Good luck, Doc! I wish you the best. :thumbsup:
 
Doc - don't be leaving us because you're out saving lives. We are a messed up family here and need stable people to hold us together (lol).

I wish you well. We do expect to see some "footage" you donning your new gear and shots of the super cool vehicle you'll be riding in (you can't deny us, we're visual people).

EMT's have a job career rate of lasting 5 years. That's the facts. If you've not felt that way then by all means, go do your thing and get that frat brother's goldfish out of his ass. Hey, the bad comes with the good.

Of course, you are now bound to tell us your most stupid stories in saving people. We love to know how dumb people are, it makes us look smarter.

Good luck!!!!
 
Charli said:
Doc - don't be leaving us because you're out saving lives. We are a messed up family here and need stable people to hold us together (lol).

I wish you well. We do expect to see some "footage" you donning your new gear and shots of the super cool vehicle you'll be riding in (you can't deny us, we're visual people).

EMT's have a job career rate of lasting 5 years. That's the facts. If you've not felt that way then by all means, go do your thing and get that frat brother's goldfish out of his ass. Hey, the bad comes with the good.

Of course, you are now bound to tell us your most stupid stories in saving people. We love to know how dumb people are, it makes us look smarter.

Good luck!!!!
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all around....a great post. i'll stay tuned. well said Charli.
 
You only got your own life to live, so do what makes you happy...And what kid growing up didn't see this show and not want to do this. I mean, look at the way Randolph Mantooth flips open those vials with both his thumbs simultaneously--

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I AGREE
 
Wow... I didn't realize there were so many involved in EMS!
Just so happens, I develop much of the training for Brady (Pearson Education).
That includes fire fighter training too.
http://www.bradybooks.com/index.aspx

I work directly with the authors to create interactive multimedia and online learning courses. These guys have some GREAT stories...none of which I could post here without getting banned for life!

Go get'em Doc! It's a good thing that you do.
 
Doc Bernard said:
I want a personal interaction and direct result of that interaction. I miss it. And I feel I have ducked my responsibility by leaving EMS. I was good at it!
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I want less human interaction 'cept for the babe that's gonna be my wife whoever she is. LOL. Honestly, I loved my job as a college teacher and as a day job there's nothing like it, but I really want to do this film thing. I've considered getting my Masters, but I can't pay back the $10,000 I owe (the low side for a student loan) so I'm sure I won't be able to pay back $50,000 aside from some miracle. And I'm sure when I leave school with my mastersl I'll need a PHd. or something to teach college (to have that level of job security we all strive for, I've never had it). That seems to be the way it works where I'm concerned. I only need the things I don't have.

I'll probably have to teach grammar school which I don't want to do. I'm really not good at anything, but teaching and creative arts. If you love EMS, you're lucky, you can actually have a job you love and do the other thing you love on the side. But I pray to God to to be able to living off my filmmaking. Do the thing I love. But I'll take having a job that gives you enough money to live while doing your art. I'm shooting now, but I'm jobless. It works in a way because I'm blowing through this film, I mean it's not like I have anywhere to go.

ZazaCast said:
Wow... I didn't realize there were so many involved in EMS!
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And nursing. Like every other woman I meet is a nurse. Including my mom. LOL.

-Nate
 
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Charli said:
Doc - don't be leaving us because you're out saving lives. We are a messed up family here and need stable people to hold us together (lol).

I wish you well. We do expect to see some "footage" you donning your new gear and shots of the super cool vehicle you'll be riding in (you can't deny us, we're visual people).

EMT's have a job career rate of lasting 5 years. That's the facts. If you've not felt that way then by all means, go do your thing and get that frat brother's goldfish out of his ass. Hey, the bad comes with the good.

Of course, you are now bound to tell us your most stupid stories in saving people. We love to know how dumb people are, it makes us look smarter.

Good luck!!!!
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Thanks all! And Charli, I am not leaving film-making or DVX. I am just leaving from my present job/career in audio.

Oh, I have much better stories now than a goldfish/frat boy mishap. I had been in the field as a EMT/medic for quite a number of years when I "pulled the pin" :grin:

I have always threatened/promised myself I would write a book one day.......maybe I will. The title might be "And the Bottle is Stuck Where?!?!?"
 
Doc Bernard said:
Is personal satisfaction selfish? I want to do this, and get back what I had. But it would be foolish of me not to look at that aspect.
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If going to work in fields like EMS is selfish, then generally speaking we could use a lot more selfish people.
 
Doc Bernard said:
Thanks all! And Charli, I am not leaving film-making or DVX.
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BTW, I don't think it's just as easy as "leaving" DVXuser. I believe there is a jumping out process…you know, like when a street gang member wants to go legit. :grin:

And in all seriousness, good thread, and I'm sure you will make the best decision(s) in your career.
 
Steve, ever since I met you way back, when you bought that VariZoom remote from the back of my Jeep in the Starbucks parking lot . . . I knew you were a good guy. Go, help people, and be HAPPY. We know you'll still be kicking around and tossing out films when time permits. :)
 
#1 I didn't know you were an Audio Engineer- congrats on your accomplishments there!
#2 Good luck on your (re)training in EMS, and the work after that! And once an EMT-
#3 Go for the RN! An equally awesome, hugely rewarding, very in demand career!

All the best, Doc!
 
Doc Bernard said:
I am facing mid-life crisis. And instead of going out and buying a flashy car (no money), or finding a trophy wife (not attractive enough and reason #1).....I have come to a determination.
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Who knows...............maybe you'll extricate an Inland Empire heiress from her Infiniti and have it all.

Good luck with your noble and no-bull pursuits!
 
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