FOR YOUR PROTECTION - Jonathan Killoran

MrKilloran

MrKilloran

Well-known member

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An intelligence analyst is swept into a web
of deceit when his former mentor uncovers
a dark secret involving the United States'
major security corporation: IRIS.​


FOR YOUR PROTECTION CAST & CREW
​

Written & Directed by:
Jonathan Killoran

Composer:
Paul Medieros

Cast:
Justin Wilder - Mark
Keith R. Maia - Cole Wright
Terren Findeisen - Abby
Benjamin Sandler - The Listener
Michael A. LoCicero - Agent
Steve Ryan - Agent
Derek Dubois - Chip Mansford

Location:
Providence, RI


With that, I'm baaaack Everyone! I'm looking forward to getting my ass kicked!:thumbsup:
 
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It's been awhile. I've missed you all too. Was almost tempted to come back for Betrayalfest with a sequel to Losers In Excess hahaha :grin: I didn't get to, tragic I know.

So, in the past 2 years I've been kind of busy with school or one thing after another fell through, well needless to say I haven't been entering the Fests but then at the end of september I was on a train back from New York City and saw an advertisement on the wall that really stuck with me. This computer software had the line: "knows where you put that file" and this creation of a shadow corporation that secretly controls the country came into my head. Beginning of October I finally molded the idea, finished a rough draft of the script and sent it to a few people. Got some excellent feedback and then went back to rewrite it and rewrite and lather, rinse, repeat.

About two weeks ago, got some actors together and set out shooting. One man crew in a sense, so it was just me, the camera and the actors shooting guerrilla-style in the city. I wanted to use all natural light and give it this gritty, realistic feel, except for the news scene [that I figured could look at least like a news broadcast].

I used a Canon 7D with just the basic stock lens that comes with it on purchase, I'd like to invest in some more lenses and a rig, hell I would have loved to even rent a few things but for now money is a little tight, so I'd try to work with the limits set. Outside of gas and food, the budget never exceeded $50.

I had a separate DR-07 audio recorder but I've never liked the sound that I get from it, the vocals are too quiet and everything else in the background is too loud. So, all of the audio is just from an Audio Technica ATR-55 plugged into the camera. I did the best I could with what I had to clean it up but think I could have benefited from a little more time spent on it. Next time I think I'll find someone who's better with sound to help out with the mixing.

I spent 2 nights shooting in the city [one of which almost ended in a possible mugging] 2 days at the apartment and 1 day at the office building, which my thanks go out to the staff of Alger Hall for putting up with me for a few hours.

The last day of shooting was this past Sunday, I spent Tuesday and Wednesday editing non-stop for the Thursday deadline. Ended up with an almost 10 min cut that had this very slow, deliberate pacing that worked really well. Unfortunately for me the 6 Min time limit created some sacrifices and I discarded a few things I wish could have stayed with it. Rules are rules though!

I'm still happy with the version I submitted but it's not the final version by any means. Hope you guys enjoy what you'll get to see. I'll get some stills and stuff up soon.
 
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Dude!

Sweet!

Can't wait to see what kind of a web you've weaved with this one....there aren't any dogs in it, are there? :evil:

Best of luck in the fest.
:beer:
 
Hey there - the sound issues (either present in the film or in the codec/issues when it was streamed via the viewer) not sure, but really compromised the dialogue and how easy it was to follow this film. I did simply watch it with the volume really high so i could follow it however (and sound can always be improved afterwards!) All in all the cinematography, style was nicely done and definately your most sophisticated film yet MrKilloran which i think is cool actually. I liked the movement of camera, and i really loved the open door (with the silhoutte of serious meanie inside at the end) and the hot little red dress hehe. So some great stuff in here marred by the sound issues - and in parts by casting (your lead may be just a bit too young unfortunately to pull off a convincing look for the character.)

Good work though
 
It's a real shame the sound was low on this piece. I had my telly full up but it got to the point where unfortunately I couldn't understand what they were saying. Is this a techincal issue because of conversion? I know some people experienced sound issues during conversion. If so, contact the mods to fix it.

Ok so I just watched it on headphones and I could understand all but the last scene. Clearly a lot of effort went into this. I really liked a lot of your shot selection (hiding behind the bins, the voyeuritic nature of the car park conversation) and I thought your bearded actor in the car park was very good. I liked it very much when the guy got the bag over his head in the wideshot, its far more unexpected when you do that. I think I got the essense of this story but it might be worth ADRing the whole lot and this would be so much better. (that is if there isnt a technical fault with the file). Considering they were playing much older roles, your young cast did a good job I thought. lots of potential here.
 
Two things will kill your film: audio & script. I think both took a beating on this one. Audio, even with headphones, very difficult to follow. I knew the girl was in on it, no surprises there. I just could not get "into" the conspiracy theory. If you had showed us more of what it was all about, then maybe I could have invested more emotion into it.
 
Charli said:
Two things will kill your film: audio & script. I think both took a beating on this one. Audio, even with headphones, very difficult to follow. I knew the girl was in on it, no surprises there. I just could not get "into" the conspiracy theory. If you had showed us more of what it was all about, then maybe I could have invested more emotion into it.
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I second what Charli said - the audio really needs work. And the clarity of the story could have been better.

But still, you clearly put time and effort into this - Keep up the dreaming!
 
Nice job. Everyone prior has mentioned the flaws in audio. I would like to get a bigger/better feel of the universe they are in and the threat (beyond getting killed) that Iris means to regular folk. Other than that, good job.
 
Unfortunately I didn't understand the story and as others have said, the audio is probably the worst part of your film. That, however is fixeable. Just re-record everything with a boom mic and match the voices and you're golden. You did have some very good visuals here, which shows you have the eye. Add some polish with the audio, tighten up a little of the editing on the action stuff, like when the guy gets grabbed and gets in the car and drives off and you'll great improve your film. Oh, one other thing I've got to mention - the girl in the red dress at the end - Um, yeah, very nice.
 
The visuals were nice but I could not hear/make out what was going on. I'll try again tonight with headphones.
It looked great though! I'll be back for another shot.

MAH
 
lawriejaffa said:
All in all the cinematography, style was nicely done and definately your most sophisticated film yet MrKilloran which i think is cool actually.
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It means a lot that you enjoyed it Lawrie and saw some improvement from my previous work, I was hoping it wasn't just another wasted, last-minute entry. Thanks for watching!
 
Darkline said:
Clearly a lot of effort went into this. I really liked a lot of your shot selection (hiding behind the bins, the voyeuritic nature of the car park conversation) and I thought your bearded actor in the car park was very good. I liked it very much when the guy got the bag over his head in the wideshot, its far more unexpected when you do that. I think I got the essense of this story but it might be worth ADRing the whole lot and this would be so much better.
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Sorry you had to get headphones to hear it. I should have checked. I'm not sure if it's the file or if it was me but either way I'll be sure to clean up the audio when I head back to re-edit so it doesn't happen again. ADRing is a possibility but I think there's a way to clean up the audio, I just have to spend some more time on it. Thanks for watching and picking up on the voyeurism. I'll be leaving comments on your film soon - although it's my favorite of the fest so I don't know what I'll tell you haha. :beer:
 
Charli said:
Two things will kill your film: audio & script. I think both took a beating on this one. Audio, even with headphones, very difficult to follow. I knew the girl was in on it, no surprises there. I just could not get "into" the conspiracy theory. If you had showed us more of what it was all about, then maybe I could have invested more emotion into it.
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Audio can and will be fixed I just need a little more time with it. I think it's a combination of the upload and my file, just wasn't enough time.

You're supposed to know the girl is in on it, I really laid it out there in the first moments with her. It's that last look she gives him where she regrets it that is important.

I think my script is quite good actually, dialogue could always be improved / maybe even removed some more, but it's a tight little script filled with some great imagery. I ran into the same problem Noel hit where I had a longer cut and had to shorten it for the fest. I cut out a good 3 minutes of footage to streamline it down to this running time, that's a lot.

I loved the opening and the ending so much that the middle suffered. The conspiracy, or the idea of it, became too major to the plot in the shorter cut instead of the relationship between Mark and Abby and then the problem with that is that puts too much attention on a "theory" that's meant to remain vague [Although I think the character of Cole's idea of an "ignorant prison" puts it together nicely. I suppose what I should have done was have scenes that showed her moral dilemma between her duty and her love and I either cut them or left them out. My apologies.

I am going to re-shoot and re-edit a longer, more concrete cut. Might have to ADR some audio but we'll see.

Thanks for watching.
 
Chris_Keaton said:
I would like to get a bigger/better feel of the universe they are in and the threat (beyond getting killed) that Iris means to regular folk.
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Hmm, I'm going back to shoot some additional things soon and I think I'd like to see that too. I mean, not a great lot to keep the story contained but a brief shot or two would add some great stuff. The threat is that they live ignorantly while this corporation slowly gains control of everything, sort of what happens before that one big war that allows totalitarian future societies to take over. So soon they'll be emotionless prisoners in their own homes but from a creative stand-point I'm not quite sure how to go about it. I mean, I have the security cameras to sum it up but "regular folk" are meant to be ignorant of this as Cole states but I'd rather visualzie it as well but so far my ideas are:


A. Mark, when trying to figure out the conspiracy, begins recording his thoughts. Mostly in crowded, public locations where I could take a Voyeuristic look from distances. While he's constantly worried about everyone.

B. Mark finds tapes left by Cole that help him along the right path.

C. Just show everyday people being monitored but they show no interest in their being monitored. They're unaware as to how little control they have over their lives

I just don't want Mark to have that typical big showdown monologue with the shadowy man behind the door as he explains everything and where things are headed. Once Mark walks into that door our story is over.

I'll keep at it but thank you for watching! :beer:
 
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