Buck's Best Friend

Just did a minor re-write on the script.

This script is a bit of a change for me, I'm a little nervous. Its a more of "normal" and straight foreward story than my previous scripts. I generally have some sort of "fantastic" or weird element going on, hopefully this works.
 
POSSIBLE SPOILERS




Merry F'ing Christmas!

Holy crap. This was brutally depressing. Doesn't help that I'm a dog lover.
I could see this all too clearly. I'm a fan of your scripts and this is no exception.

Very nice work.

MAH
 
Dude.

No, seriously... dude.

Okay, I know what you were trying to do, and you did it with your typical skill... but did you really need to go there?

Jesus, I need a beer. :-Cry(DBG):
 
MAH - thank you, I appreciate the kind words. I too, am a dog lover. This story came out of a news article I read about people kidnapping pet dogs to use as bait dogs for their young Pits to see how aggressive they would be.

Captain - thanks, I think. lol
Yes, I had to go there, this story just stuck in my head, tortured me every night for about a week, until I had no choice but to get it out. First beer's on me. :beer:
 
Damn man, we have some sick minds in this thing and I think you just took the cake. I always say if what you write bothers you then it sure as hell is going to bother your audience, so congrats on that. I almost think though that the pit bull scene could be trimmed, because we already know what'll happen. Overall great job.

I did notice the margins were cheated a bit and you know that won't translate timewise, but who cares, most of these scripts if shot will be over 6 minutes of screen time.
 
Ladies and Gentleman, the man-tear short film of the year! For feck's sake! If there was ever an Aronofsky short film, this would be it. I haven't felt this shitty since I heard "ass to ass" on Requiem for a Dream.

The basement scene was like D9 when they bring that Prawn in so Wikus can test the weapons...

I'm...I'm feckin' done. :cry::Drogar-KnockedOut(D
 
This is starting to feel like "loss fest" pretty depressing ending. I'm not seeing a
betrayal here. The man sold his dog for a 'fix' but does that translate into betrayal?

Better the dog got the cops to arrest the owner for doing drugs. I would have bought that.
 
Chris - I appreciate the kind words. You and my wife have something in common, the first thing she said after reading it..."You're sick. Why would you write something like this?" You're right, this story bothered me, got under my skin and I had to put it down on paper, wasn't sure how it would be received.

I'll check into the margins issue, though they shouldn't be any different than usual, at least from my previous work. I just use whatever the preset margins are on Movie Magic, if I need to change them, Ill certainly do so. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Rod - I'll sadly accept my Man-Tear award. Thank you. I guess I should be glad that the script is having such a "shi*ty" affect on readers so far? lol
I love Requiem for a Dream, so I'll take that as a compliment. Join me and the Captain for a beer. :beer:

Charli - I'm not sure how to respond to your comment. I actually felt I had one of the most obvious betrayals. Forget the fact that he has betrayed his family for the drug. He betrays the only friend he has left in the world, Buck his faithful sidekick, for a fix. The one that still stands by him unconditionally gets sold into dog fighting for ten bucks.

But, every story is not going to connect with everyone. That seems to have happened here. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
 
I liked it, love moods like this.. :D

Also like the choice of scenery.

Thought it was an interesting take on the theme.

I like that there's more betrayal in Gil's past.
with the "Mary" "billy" and "ben", and loved that scene with the woman and two kids.
 
nice work. seriously. aronofsky short film is right.

I think you need to work on showing your audience things instead of telling them and tighten up your formatting. 'INT. OUTSKIRTS OF DOWNTOWN GAS STATION RESTROOM -- MORNING' almost made my brain explode. I found myself getting lost in some of your descriptions as well, like 'four inch by six inch rectangular covered peephole', HOLY DETAILS BATMAN!

other than that, solid, solid script.
 
lliw - after reading your short, I can definitely see why the mood here would appeal to you :D
I'm glad you liked the scene with the woman, that is one of my favorites.
I appreciate the kind words.

Ben - Thank you for the comments and compliments.

'INT. OUTSKIRTS OF DOWNTOWN GAS STATION RESTROOM -- MORNING' almost made my brain explode. I found myself getting lost in some of your descriptions as well, like 'four inch by six inch rectangular covered peephole', HOLY DETAILS BATMAN!
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LOL I see it clearly now that it's seperated from the script, you are definitely correct. Point taken. Thanks for taking the time.
 
A compelling read. It was also a very interesting wondering where it was going to turn.
It was endearing and tasteful while simultaneously tragic and disgusting. Nice work.

Also, EXTRA POINTS for a very unique form of betrayal. Wow, great job.

In Steinbeck's "Of Mice And Men" George kills Lennie and it is a great loss, but so merciful and even courageous.

This, would be like George, selling Lenny to Curley for an advance on the farm fund!
Sorry for the digression but it struck me. Never bad when being compared to Steinbeck, I suppose.

A nit pick; Shawn's dialogue could have been less expository, IMO, I think, "Got yerself a bait dog, huh?" would have done just fine. Or maybe even trim it still?

Thanks for making me well up you big jerk face! lol. Now I have to go watch The Goonies to get my mojo back.

Brilliant work.
 
Hi Colan, just read your script.

I really felt this script, emotionally. You get dragged into the character and his dog, the situation and everything they have lost. Very deep stuff. I knew what the betrayal would be and it wasn't nice. The betrayal is very clear... His habbit really cost him everything!
Some work needed on some of the dialogue, but they can be easily adjusted.
Overall, a very good and deeply depressing script. well done.
 
I don't know how anyone can question the betrayal here. Jesus.

This was really well written and really depressing. Holy crap. What a downer.

The only part that I wasn't nuts about was when he made eye contact with his wife (I guess that's who she was). IMO you didn't need to take it that far. In fact it made me loose sympathy for him a little. He should have just watched them. This would have showed us he was taking 100% responsibility for ruining his family life. And also that what he's done to himself made him not worthy of having contact with his kids. I think by just watching them would have amplified his torment and his despair.

Even though I hated what happened (I'm a dog lover), I love this SP.
 
Yup - this is great - very visceral and intense - very well written. I could absolutely see it in my head. You set the tone very well. Some really nice detail here too. I love the juxtaposition of scenes/shots where the dog faces the pitbull while his owner shoots up. A very raw and real little snippet from the life of an addict, but you get so much across about him and the devastating toll of the disease.Great job!
 
Charli said:
This is starting to feel like "loss fest" pretty depressing ending. I'm not seeing a
betrayal here. The man sold his dog for a 'fix' but does that translate into betrayal?

Better the dog got the cops to arrest the owner for doing drugs. I would have bought that.
Click to expand...

Charli, I am again questioning your sobriety. :badputer:
 
AT - Thank you for the comments. I agree with Shawn's dialogue, I changed it several times, I struggled with the term bait dog. I wanted it in there, yet I felt it was too on the nose. In the end I left it, but still was unsure of that bit of dialogue. I'm humbled, that you even mentioned Steinbeck at all in the same post. I hope you got your mojo back. :grin:

DE - I appreciate the kind words. Sounds like the story connected with you and the betrayal was clear for you. I'm forever tweaking dialogue. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

MML - I'm happy to read your comments on the scene with Gil at the school. That it raised different feelings from you is good, I was happy to leave it open to the readers interpetation as far as why he was there or what he was looking for and how you would feel about it.

Believe or not, I'm a dog lover myself and have always owned a dog, so this hard for me as well. Your comments and cmpliments are much appreciated.

Sarah - Thanks so much, it sounds like you got everything I was going for, the tone and the raw reality. I was really trying to write something with a more realistic premise on this script. So I'm happy to hear your comments. Thanks again.

Perhaps Charli is just not a pet person and couldn't imagine being able to betray an animal? :beer: I guess not every story is going to connect with everyone and this just wasn't her cup of tea.
 
conlanforever said:
Perhaps Charli is just not a pet person and couldn't imagine being able to betray an animal? :beer: I guess not every story is going to connect with everyone and this just wasn't her cup of tea.
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Hah, sometimes you're lucky if you can connect to half of them. So good job.
 
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