BARN DANCE - John LaBonney

sweet film!

country music and Christian films are not my thing but that last song in the film was terrific!

really liked how you used so many different people in your film. the acting was okay, i thought the ending where the girl smiled while dancing was the best part, story wise and acting wise. wish i saw more of this, she really put on a genuinely great smile.


agree with other posters that the story could've been a lot better served with more background or build up but this might be strictly because of what i personally like/enjoy in a story.

the devil was only okay, either make him more scary and outwardly evil or tone him down and make him more of a tempter/salesman for that "other option". as it was i did not doubt that the boy turned him down.

it is a nice film! keep filming!
 
Hi John,

I think the strongest element of this film was the story structure. A simple premise, a dilema for the protagnist - which pushes the inner character to the surface. It wasnt overly complex like a lot of shorts try for. simple is often better.

I did think the devil was a bit cliche, maybe that was intentional but as the heart of the story felt quite tangable, this part just felt overly simplified and theatrical.

Although I'm not a fan of either country music or religion, it shows that you have a very good idea of how to construct a 6 minute short.
 
John, I really enjoyed this. It was very sweet. I think it might be the first "deal-with-the-devil" story where the deal isn't made; which was a really great twist. The last moment in the chair is lovely. Very well done.
 
Ok, I wasn't feeling the whole religious thing but I really like the way you ended it. You had some nice shots and your devil was a smooth dude.

Nice work man!

:beer:
 
Darkline said:
I think the strongest element of this film was the story structure. A simple premise, a dilema for the protagnist - which pushes the inner character to the surface. It wasnt overly complex like a lot of shorts try for. simple is often better.

I did think the devil was a bit cliche, maybe that was intentional but as the heart of the story felt quite tangable, this part just felt overly simplified and theatrical.

Although I'm not a fan of either country music or religion, it shows that you have a very good idea of how to construct a 6 minute short.
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Thanks for watching! I wonder sometimes after watching some of the complex entries if the story was too simple. All-in-all thought I think it works.

hoz said:
sweet film!

country music and Christian films are not my thing but that last song in the film was terrific!

really liked how you used so many different people in your film. the acting was okay, i thought the ending where the girl smiled while dancing was the best part, story wise and acting wise. wish i saw more of this, she really put on a genuinely great smile.


agree with other posters that the story could've been a lot better served with more background or build up but this might be strictly because of what i personally like/enjoy in a story.

the devil was only okay, either make him more scary and outwardly evil or tone him down and make him more of a tempter/salesman for that "other option". as it was i did not doubt that the boy turned him down.

it is a nice film! keep filming!
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Thanks so much! I myself was really happy with the acting and I think that we did a good job casting the film, which made things for me much easier. Handling such a large cast was a challenge, and I'm glad you enjoyed the film.

Chris Messineo said:
John, I really enjoyed this. It was very sweet. I think it might be the first "deal-with-the-devil" story where the deal isn't made; which was a really great twist. The last moment in the chair is lovely. Very well done.
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Chris:

Thanks for stopping in and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Means a lot coming from you.

stinkpot said:
Ok, I wasn't feeling the whole religious thing but I really like the way you ended it. You had some nice shots and your devil was a smooth dude.

Nice work man!

:beer:
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Thanks, I appreciate it!
 
I really thought that the story was great! And the acting wasn't bad either. I agree that there maybe should have been a bit more build up but with only 6 min I thought you did a great job! And the only one thing i noticed that was off was when the devil was talking to the boy after he threw down his bible outside, I could totally tell you had a reflector to the right of his face because it moved a little bit and you could see it flicker. Other than those little things amazing job on this and I cant wait to see you next time around.
 
thought the lighting in the opening barn scenes was well done, considering the layout. after watching all in this fest, I thought - oh no - not another deal with the devil. but you pulled off a very good story quite nicely.
 
Looking at this and comparing it to John's previous DVX entry (One Way Out) is like comparing a piece of plain white bread to a 1957 Corvette. That may not be the most appropriate analogy (in fact, I'm almost sure it isnt) but judging from what I saw in the Barn Dance, John's filmmaking abilities have increased exponentially.

The lighting in the interior barn scenes was beautiful and natural, which is a hard thing to pull off. See the very last scene for an excellent example of above. The music was appropriate and helped set the tone (although Country music isn't my thing). The underscoring was nice and subtle as well.

I think the story was simple and was told eloquently. I especially liked the composite shot when the Devil was showing the main character how his life could have been. I can tell that took a lot of work and John did a fantastic job with it.

Everything about this film was a true advancement from John's previous work. If he keeps going at this rate, he'll have created DVXuser's Citizen Kane within 6 months!
 
Dick and clarkage, thanks for your comments, they are very much appreciated and I'm glad you liked the film.

Karl151k said:
Looking at this and comparing it to John's previous DVX entry (One Way Out) is like comparing a piece of plain white bread to a 1957 Corvette. That may not be the most appropriate analogy (in fact, I'm almost sure it isnt) but judging from what I saw in the Barn Dance, John's filmmaking abilities have increased exponentially.
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Thank you Carleton so much for all your help along the way! I'm blushing.
 
John, this was a great piece. I really, really enjoyed it. At first I couldn't see where it was going, but when I did, wow! Very, very touching. I got chills at the end and found myself wondering, 'why didn't I think of that?' You brought the audience totally into the cowboy world and made us all feel right at home and we were able to relate to the story on a very human level (if that makes sense). The color and lighting I thought was pretty good. The only thing I would suggest about the opening party scene would be to show more shots of people having fun and faster cuts and then the way you showed the boy and the girl was just fine. That's just an opinion though and understand that it worked just fine the way it is. Hats off! Good work! Oh, and great song at the end too.
 
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Hey John,
Got a chance to watch Barn Dance the other day, and I've also been monitoring the discussion in this thread. It looks like a pretty active and supportive forum, and it seems you are receptive to honest (and sometimes blunt) criticism, which is awesome. As a songwriter, honest, supportive criticism has certainly helped my growth far more than kind, empty words. As artists, it is always tough exposing our babies to the cold, cruel world, but as I always say, "If all I wanted was a pat on the back, I would have shown it to my Mom."

I would agree with the general feeling that more development of the male character and his inablilty to walk (and dance) would have made the end more poignant. I might have a unique viewpoint on this though, that no one has quite touched on yet. As a songwriter, I have spent years learning how to tell a story in very few words. It is an art of economy. You have to ruthlessly, heartlessy edit out everything that is not right on the "nut" of the story (even really cool stuff) until every word that remains is vital. I think telling a story in a short film format is similar in many ways, and IMO there are too many unnecessary things going on in your story that dilute its power. Let me explain:

I know it may depart from your vision, but IMO the film would have been stronger without any of the religious components...no Bible, no deal with the devil, etc. IMO, this is not a story about religion...it is about a kid that can't walk, wanting desperately to ask a girl to dance. The protagonist is not really the devil...it is the boy's handicap. The payoff is not the boy winning his soul back, earning a spot in heaven, or becoming a saint...it is overcoming his handicap and finding a way to dance. The religious elements take the story off the "nut", and removing them would have allowed you more time to focus on what the film is most lacking: empathy for the boy's situation; his longing to dance with the girl his heart is set on, and his anguish that he can't. Establish that, and the payoff at the end is golden.

With all that said, the last scene is still great...a touching moment and the best part of the film.

I'm getting a chuckle out of all the anti-country music comments....people always either love it or hate it. Not much middle ground for country music. That's OK...it's all good fun.

I don't know enough about filmaking to comment on anything else, but I can see that a ton of work went into this, and I can certainly appreciate that. The logistics involved would have been enough to scare me away, and I can't help but respect anyone with the guts to head this up. Thank-you very much for including my song. I'm continually learning and developing my talents too, and it's always a thrill to be a part of something like this and see my name in the credits! Mucho appreciated my friend.

Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!
Aaron Cheney
 
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Okay, I'm finally getting around to some more of the films again.
great opening shot. They look like they're having fun. Felt you could have introduced the lead character a little earlier instead of going right to the dancing. A shot that lead into him would have been nice. Much like the shot you used to introduce the Devil. Bible verses always make me squirm to have to listen to them in a film and truthfully we didn;t actually have to hear the verse in order to get the impact. His frustration with the Bible and the subsequent throwing it away communicates that extremely well. It's also not as heavy handed.

Great shot on the devil. nice OTS. The greenscreen shot was a little too much though. It felt like it was thrown in there just as a cool "hey look what I can do". A little heavy handed again. a couple of quick flash cuts would have worked nicely there.

Great transition out and very effective use of the fade to black.

A little of leaving us wondering there.... very nicely handled. good reveal.

Nice sweet moment, for a nice sweet film. Fix up some of those cuts so it's not so in your face and you have a very effective story of temptation and choice.

The cinematography was spot on and your actors were actually quite okay for their age. Story was strong but felt kind of out of place in the Twilightfest.

Thanks for the show and good luck to you.
 
Satan lost his cool. He had this kid eating out of his hand situationally with the protag tossing the bible on the ground, but then he got all postal and the kid snapped out of it. Well shot. Technical aspects were very nice. What we didn't see was the kid having his heart broken when she ignored his calls after that day.
 
You know I was thinking about it John and I've decided that my devil would make your devil lose his cool. My devil has that cool echo effect going on with his voice too.... we should have a devil off...
 
I've been also reading some of the threads. I didn't even see this as a religious piece at all. It didn't seem like a Christian film. I mean it did, but no overtone there. It was just a film about faith to me.
 
John LaBonney said:
Dick and clarkage,...
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dick_clark_mugshot-786338.jpg


Sorry. :)
 
This was very enjoyable, though it did feel a bit heavy handed at times. Some of the elements like the VO'd verses and the green screen shots seemed unnecessary. Overall, the story arced nicely with some suspense regarding the protag's decision. The strongest scene, emotionally, for me was the ending. However, I feel like it would have been even more powerful for me if I'd engaged with the protagonist a little bit before his decision. Then I could've felt his struggle more than I did.

Again, nice work. Thanks for sharing this with us.

JC
 
Yep I think this film was overtly sentimental (and hokey in its idealised perception of ol' usa) - its an interesting cultural reflection given its combination with a faith based/ christian theme.

For many audiences (outside the US) these themes probably make a stronger impression than one might imagine - perhaps clouding over the personal issues the characters are facing.

For me it was not a twist that our clean cut hero would refuse the devil ;)

The genuine twist would be that he accepts and it ends with him and the girl happy (without any betrayal/irony.)

That would have a Brechte like effect, making audiences perhaps go wtf hehe.

I think for anyone expressing faith in their film, its has to be more than just good triumphing evil, i think the added challenge is to explore it more deeply.

The production values and acting however i felt was competent and i liked the music and ambient. It's just dissapointing that for all that effort (which pays off!) the story itself could be safely assumed, and perhaps feel a little provincial in its intellectual ambitions - despite its feel good resonance!
 
I liked the film, some of the dancing looked kinda akward but the scene dancing in the wheelchair was really great. Also you had a good message without overdoing it and really beating it into the viewer.
 
Marlon Ladd said:
John, this was a great piece. I really, really enjoyed it. At first I couldn't see where it was going, but when I did, wow! Very, very touching. I got chills at the end and found myself wondering, 'why didn't I think of that?' You brought the audience totally into the cowboy world and made us all feel right at home and we were able to relate to the story on a very human level (if that makes sense). The color and lighting I thought was pretty good. The only thing I would suggest about the opening party scene would be to show more shots of people having fun and faster cuts and then the way you showed the boy and the girl was just fine. That's just an opinion though and understand that it worked just fine the way it is. Hats off! Good work! Oh, and great song at the end too.
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Thanks so much, glad you liked it!

smallbutmighty said:
...As artists, it is always tough exposing our babies to the cold, cruel world, but as I always say, "If all I wanted was a pat on the back, I would have shown it to my Mom."
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Aaron:

Great sentiment about sending our work out there for criticism. We're lucky to have this forum as I don't think you'd get nearly as much or nearly as much useful critiques elsewhere.

I appreciate your comments and thanks again for letting us use "Cowboy On" in the production!

puckthemad said:
Bible verses always make me squirm to have to listen to them in a film and truthfully we didn;t actually have to hear the verse in order to get the impact. His frustration with the Bible and the subsequent throwing it away communicates that extremely well. It's also not as heavy handed.
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The VO was a last minute addition to the film that I put in to spice up a scene that I thought was otherwise a little dull. I kind of like it but there's no "meaning" intended to be added to the film from the verses themselves. In post I realized it might have been stronger to drop this scene entirely, but the problem was the ball was in that scene, so I was kind of stuck.

Story was strong but felt kind of out of place in the Twilightfest.
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Yeah, this movie isn't really Twilight Zone-y, but it really wasn't intended to be either. I decided to go a different direction and have just enough Twilight elements to qualify. After all, there were all kinds of movies made for SpyFest (spy stories, comedies, love stories). This fest though I think was a little more restrictive in that regard, and although I'm glad I made the movie I did, I do understand that it isn't an "according to Hoyle" TwilightFest film.

Thanks very much for your comments, they are appreciated!
 
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