alone...

Mattykins said:
AHHH! BREAK, STOP. You are about to commit the single most stupid move you could. NEVER ask a girl out online. Anything short of personal is stupid and shows you are A) afraid. B) socially awkward.

People all to commonly think that with the advent of technology, asking people out online is okay. I know a few people - in their 20s even - who think they are in a relationship because they started dating online. They talk about dating. And have "sex" via SMS or AIM. Tell me that isn't strange?

If you want to make an impression with her, talk to her in person. Give her a call and ask what she is doing this week. Then precede to mention getting coffee. Why coffee?

Well this is exactly why. Girls sometimes are intimidated by dinner. Honestly this is nice after first meeting. Not for the first meet up just you and her. Dinner, if something goes wrong you are stuck there for the remainder of dinner. Since you can't really leave. And dinner is expensive.

Movies don't work because there is no interaction between the two "datees". You might get a hand hold in there, maybe if there is a mutual feeling and the movie is kind enough to offer a romantic or touching scene. Handholds don't happen when a guy gets his head chopped off by a chain saw. There is no talking aside from the minutes before previews start. Or small comments in the film. If you don't like it, or she doesn't like it. You both are miserable. And when leaving, there isn't much to do aside from. "Nice seeing you. Thanks for the movie..."

Coffee works because...there are more options than just coffee. There are snacks, there are other beverages. It is centered around communication and talking. If it goes wrong, you can easily get out. After coffee, have something else planned in the event she wants to do something after. If she has some interest in you, she will pretty herself up a little bit. You do the same. Don't wear your Bud Light shirt and painting shorts out. Dress up a little.

Best place to go. First kiss on the first date. The single thing that really shows interest (unless your drunk). Can be really touching, or a disaster.

I can go on, but dinner calls. Maybe I need to write that book. "The Friend Zone and how to Avoid it"
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This all sounds really difficult. Can't I just beat her over the head with a Pelican case and take?

No, seriously. Good advice. Movies isn't a good idea. Something around other people (Coffee is a good example if you drink that), definitely.
 
Brandon, the right woman - or the right-now woman; either way - will likely appear in your life right when you are entirely preoccupied with something else (like, perhaps, your first studio feature...)
 
Girls inherently lie when they talk anyways.
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:shocked: I didnt say it!!!


Movies don't work because there is no interaction between the two "datees". You might get a hand hold in there, maybe if there is a mutual feeling and the movie is kind enough to offer a romantic or touching scene.
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ALWAYS something MORE than just movies. A movie is good because it lends itself to that move in the safety of the dark. BUT you can say "goodbye", jump in mom's car and then leave. There has to be something AFTER it. You establish the connection in the movie. Either she holds your hand or she rejects it. You can sit in coffee with other people around for another 11 years and not learn a thing or progress an inch. And you are friends with her. You've DONE the stuff with other people. That isnt what you are trying to keep doing. You need to establish and "US, ALONE" relationship. Establish that, BUT your alone time AFTER the movie has to still be ALONE time. If you guys walk into whatever hangout you've always hung out at as friends, your hands will instantly come unhooked and it will be excruciatingly difficult to make that connection again. Go for a long walk. Go to dinner. Sit NEXT TO HER, not ACROSS FROM her. It's nice to look in the eyes of your girlfriend, but it's more important at this stage to have that intimate TOUCH.

BUT... you live Coarsegold, population 34. You DONT want to go where everyone else is, because around ALL THEM, you guys are just friends and you'll be fighting against that. SHE will be fighting to keep it LOOKING like that. You need to be ALONE.


I'm all for the advice given my Matt and Kholi for a NORMAL girl, but you need to make a snapping change.
 
Not to like totally get this off topic, but I have a hilarious and embarrassing story to share!

Last night, I'm in the drive-thru to get some dinner. Anyway, there is a veterinary place to the front and right of the drive thru. So, as I'm pulling out, this very attractive young woman walks out, carrying a BEAGLE! Now... I LOVE Beagles... probably because I have one, and she's great, so I'm like wow... a gorgeous gal, and a beagle! amazing... anyway, the moment she makes eye contact with me... BAM! I hit the curb... I felt so stupid... I immediately turned away and drove on by... LOL
 
Man! I had a similar experience, Brandon. I was going through the drive through and, as I'm pulling out, this very attractive young Beagle walks out carrying a WOMAN! Now... I love women... probably because I dont' have one and She's great and I'm like...(--Channeling Joey from BLOSSOM) "Whoa!", a gorgeous beagle and a gal! Amazing...

Anyway... the moments it barks at me... BAM! I hit a human male. I felt so stupid, I immediately fled the scene. LOL

----

For reals, just trying to lighten your mood, Brandon. There's nothing wrong with being single, it gives you more time to establish a career, which will help you when you get into a real relationship.
 
B!

You gotta ACT, my friend. That moment was your time. The decision to drive off embarrassed or to roll down your window and say "Hi. Nice dog. My beagle.....blahblahblah..."

Act.

Funny story, though. (And if I remember correctly, Bricey and his loves are completely on topic.)
 
ConspiracyPenguin said:
:Hahaha. I wish that would work, but we've been friends for 11 years so I don't even know if there is a chance in hell of a date. Especially since once she said I was "like a brother" to her. shi*!
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Walk up to her and say, "Hey, you know what. I'm tired of this game, it's getting old. I want you to be my woman. Anything else would simply be silly at this point." Say is it as somewhat of a joke, but then confidently kiss her out of the blue. Then say, "No, I'm wans't kidding." That's either going to work or not. LOL. If she refuses then say, "Hey it was worth a shot." If nothing else I'm sure she'll want to talk about it. If she pushes away that's her way of saying OMG I never thought. She probably won't be mad (unless she has a boyfriend) and if nothing else you'll still be the man for making the move and you'll probably get her in the end anyway.

-Nate
 
Ah...I didn't want to comment on everyone's individual posts, and now there are too many to even cover. I see everyone's points, especially the one about the pelican case. :grin: So, in true Penguin fashion, I will comment on a couple of things that may or may not make you laugh, rather than all the serious stuff:

Jeff Anderson said:
Just make sure they are older than Penguin...
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Hm...Drew and I are actually the same age, so that didn't make any sense at all. Shabam! (And, no, that didn't make much sense either.)

Kholi said:
Put her in front of the camera, Penguin. Watch what happens.
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I like it. "Hey, I'm making a movie, you wanna be in it?" Wait...it sounds like you've done this before. Kholi, shame on you! I am not looking for THAT. :grin: Oh, off topic, why didn't I meet you when I was in LA? I saw you briefly in Luis's house but you were across the room talking to someone else.

Brandon, that was a funny story. Sounds like something out of a movie...but it was real. :) I think we've all been there before, don't worry...Oh, and like Gage said, that was not off topic. If anything, all of MY posts have been off topic because this was your thread and I really didn't mean to hijack it. I just popped in as usual, but this time everyone jumped on me. Sorry. :)
 
CP, call me a cold calculated killer, erh I mean cold calculated lover :D , but I don't think the risk with someone who is in the "Friend Zone" is worth it.

At least with a stranger you wouldn't have to face that person again.
//
 
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I somewhat agree with you, Anhar, but if he has those feelings for her, I can see the need to see what's up.

BUT... what if she IS "the one" and he never stepped up? I've always been a fan of knowing as opposed to not knowing.

Why didnt I take the BLUE pill?
 
yea thats true as well Gage, its a tough call...

edit//

mind you if I was to put on my logical hat, I would get the information indirectly, that is pose the question using a friend of a friend, get them to "bring it up" in your "absense". Basically like a mole..

the friend can then bring back the intel..... (no one gets hurt that way)
 
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Anhar Miah said:
yea thats true as well Gage, its a tough call...

edit//

mind you if I was to put on my logical hat, I would get the information indirectly, that is pose the question using a friend of a friend, get them to "bring it up" in your "absense". Basically like a mole..

the friend can then bring back the intel..... (no one gets hurt that way)
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Having tried that method as a desperate 16 yr old I suggest not using your bonehead 16 yr old friends to do the finding out... played out like an awkward brady bunch / twilight zone episode. Yes Nick you can be the co-writer...

So if going that route find someone thats not an idiot. Just toss one of us her screen name and we'll get this taken care of lickity split.
 
As former Mayor of the Friend Zone, I can tell you that it rarely works out. I would say never, but there's always some wanker out there who manages to actually make it work and give everyone else false hope.

But in all seriousness, don't sweat it. I met my wife a week before I turned 30. I spent most of my twenties wondering when "it" would happen instead of focusing on what I had going on at the time. You're single -- so BE single. Do the things you can't (or shouldn't) do when you're married and have a family. Like work for 48 hours straight, spend all your money on gear and take the risks you really feel like taking now because you won't (and probably shouldn't) when you have more responsibilities.

Do all that and you'll suddenly be the person you really want to be and find the person you really should be with. My wife and I often joke that if we'd met each other any sooner, we never would've given the other the time of day. Just two dorks passing in the night.

Or, this could just be God punishing you for never sending me a copy of Smuggler's Ransom.
 
Jeff Anderson said:
So if going that route find someone thats not an idiot. Just toss one of us her screen name and we'll get this taken care of lickity split.
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I can see that going really well...

JEFFYBOO101: Hey, what's up?

***: Who are you?

JEFFYBOO101: Jeff Anderson. I was wondering, do you think you could ever be more than friends with Nick?

***: What are you talking about? Who is this?

and so on...

Yeah, I don't think so. :grin:
 
Hi Jeff, why dont you have a seat. Do you know who I am? My name is Chris Hansen and I'm with dateline NBC. I have a transcript here where you call yourself JEFFYBOO101. Would you like me to read what you said?


Uh.... I just wanna go... this is a misunderstanding...


And, what is this about PENGUINS, Jeff? Why dont you explain yourself?
Fox said:
I can tell you that it rarely works out. I would say never, but there's always some wanker out there who manages to actually make it work and give everyone else false hope.
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I actually sent him a PM saying this, and that it wont change if things keep going the same way.
 
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