Trickle

This was very well made, but I'm afraid the story lost me at the end.
I've just read your explination, and I'm afraid that all of that missed me. Maybe if you had held on the photos on the wall longer it would have helped as I didnt take in what they were really about in the time given.

I really liked the twist. Well done.
 
There's movies to watch soon! I haven't seen this many userfilms on newposts page sunday morning since i joined. This is a good sunday
 
It's never a good sign when you have to explain your film to a confused audience, but the whole reason these fests take place is to find out what works and what doesn’t. The fact that you made the film and put it out for all the world to see is the main point. Next time around you’ll remember what worked and what didn’t – and discover new problems to deal with.
 
taylormade said:
It's never a good sign when you have to explain your film to a confused audience, but the whole reason these fests take place is to find out what works and what doesn’t. The fact that you made the film and put it out for all the world to see is the main point. Next time around you’ll remember what worked and what didn’t – and discover new problems to deal with.
Click to expand...

taylor, what are some suggestions you have for how I could've avoided these problems this time, as well as for next time?
 
One of the toughest problems you already mentioned - trying to chose between performances and shots. In the end you have to take the time to get both. If it means simplifying your shots or going with a little less coverage, you may have to make that sacrifice. Remember, it's not just the dialogue that carries the film, it's the visuals. They have to be as strong, if not stronger than the actor's words.

Spoiler:
Anthony won't like this, but you probably could have dropped some of the lead actor's lines on the bed. The sounds from the bathroom, the shots of the woman struggling said it all. We already knew he wanted to escape and why. That way you could have concentrated more on the details of his escape and made things clearer. The only real problem I had with this script is the line where the cop/husband tells his wife that the villian took their daughter. It seems like the last thing this guy would tell her considering the situation. I would have gone back to Anthony to see if you could work out a little more logical - and visual - way of indicating the daughter was gone.

I think you failed in places to think the scene through - to look at it from an editor's point of view. Am I getting the pieces I need to put this together and are those pieces working visually for me? Will this fit together and make sense in the end. You're telling a story. Anthony has written an outline for you. As a director it's your job to tell his story visually. I think if you concentrate more on what's going to end up on the screen and how your shots flow, and less on just performances, your next film will improve greatly.
 
I'll have to go back and watch...did he snap his wrist to get out of the cuffs?...and if memory serves me correctly it was his left wrist...but then he had his right hand free when he came to the front shot of him...i was confused.


Anthony good script, guys in the park with stuffed animals need to be punched in the throat!

Rogan
 
Thanks taylor, I'll remember at least some of that, it's all good advice. You guys are starting to pick out continuity errors that I didn't even catch editing! Jeez, my director was really sloppy.
 
Good job man. I thought the story needed a little more work. I couldn't connect all the dots until I read the thread. It would have been better if the bathroom the guy goes into had a tub and not a shower only. Not sure that was an option, I know how tough getting locations can be. But, you could have used the same bathroom and with camera angles or different decor made it look different. This story may have been too ambitious for the time allotted. Yet you went for it and thats cool. Keep up the good work.
 
Really good effort, but like others, I had to watch this a few times...and get the script before it all clicked for me. I didn't even notice the needle in the neck in that picture, so that explained a lot.
You could have really used a bit more light when shooting this as the adapter requires more for a better image. Continuity is key...I know you were looking for emotion, but you really do need both. That stuff jumps out to fellow filmmakers. Remember, we're all under a microscope in DVX fests...we are getting critiques from filmmakers of all levels...which makes this place unique and all of us better. Keep making films, taking the time to explore the script, storyboard it out, rehearse your actors, get the shots right, edit & re-edit to make the best film you can. You'll see...each one will get better.

Congratulations to the cast & crew....I look forward to your next film!
 
I totally agree, and I'm not sure I came across correctly when speaking on continuity. I meant more of the stuff like the gag being on his chin versus around his neck kind of continuity; if the take on his chin was better emotionally, you have to choose that one over the bad take with the continuity matching. The stuff like the wrong hand coming out of the handcuffs is totally inexcusable and shouldn't have been there. Same with the lack of gag and badge in the bathroom. I should really keep an eye on that type of stuff, but when working with the adapter and monitoring sound, it's too much of a challenge. Personally I think the director should've caught it and I blame him. ;) Plus it's easy to blame directors.

I'm really still perfecting the adapter too. Right now we need so much light for it to work that I'm shooting everything with the DVX and lens apertures all open all the time with a f/1.8 50mm. If I shoot on any other lens I have to usually brighten it up later, and adjusting the contrast gives a really harsh vignette. I recently discovered variable framerate on the DVX, and could've really used that extra stop of light on my last couple shoots with the adapter. :( Reading the instructions ftw! I think the big problem is my ground glass is very opaque and gray toned when it should be colorless. On the bright side, all the audio issues from my last film were fixed by using the right microphone this time! I've heard that the HMC150 does better with less light than the DVX and HVX. If that's true, I'm excited to get it for that reason as well. Pairing that with the adapter is going to be like shooting on 35mm film!
 
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Mwahaha, open the door, trick! Or should I say trick-le! I actually liked the look of this. Some of the edits need to be tightened up here and there. I understood it throughout so that was good.

My one wish was I was hoping the cop/father would've been yelling and had more of a sense of urgency. I think that would've amped up the anticipation to save the girl.

Solid entry, good job!
 
Hey Andrew, great work. I LOVE the look of the DVX100. No other Panasonic cameras have been able to capture the same look as the DVX100 in my opinion. If it wasn't for the tape workflow, I would have never sold mine. I'll watch it again when I get a chance and give you some more in depth feedback.
 
Ok, I'm not a tech guy and may get skewered here, but I didn't like the look at all. Maybe everyone is nostalgic for those pre-hd days, but I'm not. It works fine for a short, but when I see a feature look like that it pisses me off. I mean you are putting time and effort in to make a great story, but you film with ancient technology, ugh. End my rant against antiquated technology. :)

The continuity flaws just kick me out of the story. I had read the script and it seems pretty true to it. I think the juicy bit of this one is how the villain tricks the guy and basically kicks his hope in the nuts, but for some reason it was easier to see it when I read the script than it was in the film? I'll leave it to the other directors to point out why. All that being said, it was overall a good job.
 
Great BTS. Nice to see the equipment and all of the location. Nice poster. At first I thought it said TRIKCLE, then I went back and re-read it.
 
I was also confused on the story, but I did think the setup for everything was pretty good. Looks like you really put some time in getting it all setup to be believable (and that's important). I thought the tied up legs in the bathroom was pretty cool. I was very confused at the end as well, but as others have said, that's why we enter the fests to find out what works. You had some cool cinematography in here as well. Good job and thanks for entering.
 
The story, well, trickled... but did it trickle well? Uh...

Spoiler:

No, it did not. Yes, continuity is an issue when it stands out so much that we can all see it. There are small mistakes in movies that I catch that my family doesn't because I'm just aware. With this flick, you don't have to be aware to see it's issues, there were too many.

I agree that when you have to explain your story, it falls short in the film itself because the storytelling should all be within the film itself (which is why I don't like "supers" or "voice overs"). The TWIST was you only solid hit here.

But here is the thing. That's a cinder block she was tied to. Logically, she could have moved the block with her hands and placed it under her head. That would have kept her above water. You have to think of every contingency. I did not "buy" into his plight or into his emotion.

This short is Wednesday's child, it has far to go.

 
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