The Writer - Still Guerrilla Films

While I liked this I have to point out that the scene with her looking crazy and turning the light on and off.... Fatal Attraction! :)

Good stuff though. She was pretty crazy. Maybe showed it a little too often though. Pretty good acting overall actually, pacing could be tightened up a bit. Very nice short.

MAH
 
Michael Anthony Horrigan said:
While I liked this I have to point out that the scene with her looking crazy and turning the light on and off.... Fatal Attraction! :)

Good stuff though. She was pretty crazy. Maybe showed it a little too often though. Pretty good acting overall actually, pacing could be tightened up a bit. Very nice short.

MAH
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:Drogar-Happy(DBG): Thanks!

Yes, there are two sequences in the movie paying homage to other movies, that was one of them. :cheesy:

Thanks for watching and commenting!
 
Yeah, I was gonna point out the fatal attraction thing, it's hard to use those little tricks when it was used in such a BIG movie.
 
Right well this was a quirky little film, that had some amusing parts, such as the imagined sequence of girl on girl laundrey murder - but felt that it was little overlong in parts, pace seemed to suffer a tiny bit. I think this film could be tightened in the edit (a good 60 secs). It works for me as a kind of character piece, - though she seems to be doing okay girlfriend wise!
 
This was atmospheric as hell. Really liked that. The imagined murder scene was a bit - long? too much? - not sure. The main character was convincing and intriguing. I wish I had more time to figure her out. And you can tell it's different and complicated. And never mind what others say, paying homage to other films is what it's all about, you know? I always think of the nod to "Battleship Potemkin" in "The Untouchables". I do have to admit that I had to read the logline to understand what was going on. I was a bit confused at the end.
 
Michael Anthony Horrigan said:
Was the other Se7en?
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Yes. :) I was mad at it at first (in Se7en) but it taught me a lesson.

lawriejaffa said:
Right well this was a quirky little film, that had some amusing parts, such as the imagined sequence of girl on girl laundrey murder - but felt that it was little overlong in parts, pace seemed to suffer a tiny bit. I think this film could be tightened in the edit (a good 60 secs). It works for me as a kind of character piece, - though she seems to be doing okay girlfriend wise!
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Seems to be a pattern here on the "too long" bit and I can understand that. But I must say, I intended it to feel long (similar to the insanely long fight scene in the movie "They Live") and in the longer version of the movie, it's longer (from the perspective of an irrational person trying to make someone else suffer (the girlfriend who has to watch) and from the perspective of the girlfriend outside who having to watch her gf beat to death would most certainly feel like an eternity) . As a matter of fact, the interaction between the lesbian couple is also much longer to the point of being highly annoying (had to cut much of it for the 6 minute version). This wasn't a mechanical film for me. It was an emotional one attempting to highlight many things (I can't say I succeeded but I tried). This film is following the lead character who is quite irrational as you can see. So to an irrational, closeted person watching the couple having a good time may feel like an over-exaggerated eternity. The best way to put it... have you ever been grounded as a kid and sat inside listening to all the other kids play outside? I remember those days and to me it felt like the kids were having the best time ever (without me) and if I was grounded long enough, even felt like they were playing harder and louder near my house on purpose. Irrational. But that's the mind of a kid sometimes but in some cases, this also happens with adults. Like I said, I can't say I was 100% effective but there is a lot going on and it has little to do with normality and subdued reactions. :)

tomten3000 said:
This was atmospheric as hell. Really liked that. The imagined murder scene was a bit - long? too much? - not sure. The main character was convincing and intriguing. I wish I had more time to figure her out. And you can tell it's different and complicated. And never mind what others say, paying homage to other films is what it's all about, you know? I always think of the nod to "Battleship Potemkin" in "The Untouchables". I do have to admit that I had to read the logline to understand what was going on. I was a bit confused at the end.
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Thanks! :) I wish I'd had more time for viewers to get to know her too. Oh, I'm not worried about the homage thing, I can do what I want. ;) I do have somewhat of a chance to show the connections between everyone in the longer version but still would have liked to spend more time on all of the characters. Still learning. :)
 
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Switching the film style in the middle for the "dream sequence" was unexpected. It pissed me off that whoever edited this chose to make it in that style because the shots in this sequence in particular were very well composed and captivating if you could get through the horrible editing style choice. I do complement the editor in taking out her screaming audio. If that was by choice it was an effective one that made me connect with the lady outside. Then we are snapped back into reality and I just wanted to scream, "you dirty cheaters. I wanted that to be real." Anyway after I got over the trauma of realizing it was all a dream I didn't really care what was going to happen next because I knew it wasn't going to be what I just saw or this film would be ridiculous. The question as to what was in the box was never answered also irritating me more. I felt like the lesbian content was filler more so than character development, because it did not contribute to why she does whatever it is she does - again never explained. I like the tension over the donations because as an audience having seen this hatred of the main character you assume it is not donations and that she is hiding something. There could have been more tension if you had shown us what she was doing and have her girlfriend on track to finding out if not actually finding out. The "dream sequence" was the best part of the film and it was only a dream so overall I have to say this film could have been much better.
 
the dream sequence was my favorite part! really cool grindhouse effect you pulled off, can you tell me how you did it?
i almost wish your whole short looked like that, and then converted the dream to b&w!
 
Matt Harris said:
the dream sequence was my favorite part! really cool grindhouse effect you pulled off, can you tell me how you did it?
i almost wish your whole short looked like that, and then converted the dream to b&w!
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Thanks Matt!! Actually I was going to film the entire dream sequence (without sound of course) in Super 8mm film with my Canon 514XL-S but I didn't get the film cartridges in time. So I faked it in post. I do think shooting it on film would have made me happier. I didn't do the dream in B&W because I wanted the blood on the lead's face to be really red when she's beating the chick.

The dream sequence is a digitized clip of real Super 8mm film on top of the footage I shot with the DVX (blend mode = Multiply). Then the plugins I added to an adjustment layer were Misfire (only 4 of the settings were added on this), Twitch ("film gate" set as low as possible), Silver Reflector (brighten up a bit), GamColor Naked Cosmetics (keeps the skin from getting too red), Start Luminance, Saturation and Color (I believe these last three were a Film Magic Pro preset that put the overall red tint on it).

*The visual treatment on your short was beautiful btw! :)
 
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Matt Harris said:
dayum, that's a serious plugin combo there. "twitch" from video-copilot? so you did all this in AE?
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Hahahaha, it didn't seem like it at the time. :) Yep, it's from Video Copilot and yes, I did it in AE CS3. I didn't do much to the other footage but I needed the dream sequence to look very different from the rest of the film.
 
If this i your first entry then it has a lot going for it for sure. When I made my first one I was just so pleased I had done it and I learnt a lot from it. Hope you did too.

I thought you got some good performances from your actors, and built up some nice tension in the washroom. I felt the woman at the machine was a bit OTT at times. But really good at other times. I did like it however when she was flicking the light bulb on and off!

I've read what you wrote about the death sequence and I understand you trying to elongate the moment, maybe if the attention could have been directed more on the woman trying to get back in; getting more frantic it, trying the door handle, finding something to break the glass.. would have been more effective to highlight her helplessness. Or some kind of escalation that made the scene get more and more horrific as it progressed; but it felt like the same beat being stretched out, rather than rising doom.

I liked that the main character was really struggling with her sexuality and taking it out on others whilst also hiding behind a loving relationship - quite a complex character and I think you made her believable. I'm afraid I didn't quite understand the signifcance of the letters at the end. Who were the donations for?

I dont have to have everything explained to me, but from my perspective you built up the box like you were going to show us what was in it. A bit like in Seven, it couldn't have got away with not telling us what was in there because of the build up. It seemed to me like she was maybe chopping her own fingers off or something, and I liked you didn;t show us in that scene. but it made we want it more in the next. Not sure if it was intentional but when you cut to her at the desk and her girlfriend walks in, she is in a very similar pose and so I was looking to see where the box was on the desk, thinking it was the same sequence. That may be you misdirecting the audience which is a good technique, but again that made the curiosity even greater.

Although that sounds picky, I'm just trying to give you an honest reaction from seeing it for the first time.

I do think this is super brave material to take on as your first entry, you're being quite experimental with technique and structure from the off, coupled with a complex main character. I like that ambition, and I think even for a veteran film-maker this would have been a concept really hard to nail. So props there. I think your next film will be even better, as you certainly jumped in the deep end here.

Edit : just a personal thing but I would use a different effect during her dream sqeuence because it had the look of an old movie or 8mm feel which is normally associated with flash backs to the past rather than a daydream.
 
I enjoyed watching this. I thought the story hung together well, and it was well shot and edited (not that I would actually know...) Everything seemed to have a nice flow to it. Nice work!
 
Darkline said:
I've read what you wrote about the death sequence and I understand you trying to elongate the moment, maybe if the attention could have been directed more on the woman trying to get back in; getting more frantic it, trying the door handle, finding something to break the glass.. would have been more effective to highlight her helplessness. Or some kind of escalation that made the scene get more and more horrific as it progressed; but it felt like the same beat being stretched out, rather than rising doom.

I liked that the main character was really struggling with her sexuality and taking it out on others whilst also hiding behind a loving relationship - quite a complex character and I think you made her believable. I'm afraid I didn't quite understand the signifcance of the letters at the end. Who were the donations for?

I dont have to have everything explained to me, but from my perspective you built up the box like you were going to show us what was in it.

Although that sounds picky, I'm just trying to give you an honest reaction from seeing it for the first time.

I do think this is super brave material to take on as your first entry, you're being quite experimental with technique and structure from the off, coupled with a complex main character. I like that ambition, and I think even for a veteran film-maker this would have been a concept really hard to nail. So props there. I think your next film will be even better, as you certainly jumped in the deep end here.
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I don't think you are being picky at all and I really appreciate your input. Others did say the same thing pretty much about the beating scene and I have to agree I could have done a better job building that one up. I could have had the one being beaten put up a real fight, etc.

The box idea I'm ok with being split on. :) The films is as much a psychological thriller as I could pull off. The box was the "next step". Which brings me to the scene about the letters/donations. In the sequence with the box there is a conversation going on between Jay and Andi. She says she's just glad it's not one of those letters, he says "you mean from the writer", she says "yeah, they are starting to scare me", blah blah blah. Pattern/history established. He says "it's not hate mail, come on open it". Content of letters she's glad she didn't get established. In the background there are rainbow triangles and other gay related symbols (although I do admit I had to cut the scenes that show them clearly and focuses on the name of the org they work for - LGBT Friends & Family - what was written on the last envelope the lead slams down at the end). Context established (if you catch the background). So the box is this woman going beyond the writing and taking it to the next level. Sure I could have shown you something gruesome in the box, either way, it still says the same thing... she's taking it to another level. Had the story continued, eventually should would be killing someone.

The letters weren't really donations which is why the gf asked the question with such a condescending tone. And the writer's reply was that she's giving all she can give which to me says everything about where she is inside.

Thanks again for your input. I appreciate it. I originally wrote this script for MonsterFest and it was just once setting, the dinning room table, where an older man was sitting writing hate mail to LGBT orgs and during this writing, we start to see parts of a monster the more hateful he gets with the writing. The monster was on his back, claws digging into his throat the more he would writer (hurting himself as much as he's hurting other people. In the film I shot this was replaced by her self inflicted wounds which were only present when she was hurting someone else directly or indirectly). At the end of the original script, when the writer calms down, the monster slowly disappears and then the man's daughter walks in with her gf and he gives them both hugs and kisses like everything is alright. But I just kept the central element for the re-write and adjusted the script for ThrillFest.

At any rate, I did learn a lot and I'm still learning a lot from the commentary. :)

elsmama said:
I enjoyed watching this. I thought the story hung together well, and it was well shot and edited (not that I would actually know...) Everything seemed to have a nice flow to it. Nice work!
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Thanks!! I'm glad you enjoyed it and also appreciative that you stopped by to share your thoughts! :)
 
Ah, sorry I didn't pick up on some of that stuff. Interesting to hear how the idea evolved from Monsterfest. I often do that too, write something and then tweak it to fit a different fest theme, nothing wrong with that as sometimes the time off from it can make a script much better on the rewrite.
 
Darkline said:
Ah, sorry I didn't pick up on some of that stuff. Interesting to hear how the idea evolved from Monsterfest. I often do that too, write something and then tweak it to fit a different fest theme, nothing wrong with that as sometimes the time off from it can make a script much better on the rewrite.
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No need to be sorry. I watched the movie "Beautiful Thing" about a hundred times over several years and I only recently caught the joke at the beginning where the soccer coach asks a kid what the main character's name was and the kid said "Hugh Janus". So the coach starts screaming at the main character and calling him what the kid told him, his name was. He was calling him "Huge Anus". hahahahahahaha It's like the whole opening scene and I missed it all this time.

Either way, it's been cool hearing all these different takes on my film. It's tough to see where a story may be in trouble when you already know it backwards and forwards. :)

Oh ... I just realized you were the one who made the amazing entry "Negative Image"!!! I seriously think it's better than a LOT of Thrillers that are coming out of Hollywood and you have some serious filmmaking skills. Cheers!



Boogeyman said:
This by far was the greatest film the fest my respects!!!!!!!!!!
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Thanks Boogey! I appreciate that you liked it that much!! :)
 
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It's some strong work but It had me confused at times, not sure on the motivation of the main woman.

The laundry room scene, I get you were going for something different but it's a jarring and sudden difference, I think it might have been better had you not gone with the old film-style effect.

Then at the same time I enjoy some of the subtle touches you added, like not showing us what is in the box. The mind will conjure so many more horrible things then what would actually be shown. Well done.
 
MrKilloran said:
It's some strong work but It had me confused at times, not sure on the motivation of the main woman.

The laundry room scene, I get you were going for something different but it's a jarring and sudden difference, I think it might have been better had you not gone with the old film-style effect.

Then at the same time I enjoy some of the subtle touches you added, like not showing us what is in the box. The mind will conjure so many more horrible things then what would actually be shown. Well done.
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Yeah, I think the old film effect would have worked better if it were really Super 8 IMO. I'm glad you liked that I didn't show what was in the box and I agree that for many people, they could imagine something far more horrible than I could have pulled off. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on my film. :)
 
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