totitefilms
Well-known member
Thanks! and same to you :violin:
The Perfect Heist - A Totite Films Production
- Thread starter totitefilms
- Start date
Thanks! and same to you :violin:
totitefilms
Well-known member
updated with the hotel guest's name and some bts pictures
Michael Anthony Horrigan
More Cowbell Pictures
Welcome to the Fest.
nils_dvx
Member
cruel twist of fate
cruel twist of fate
like the triple betrayal ... nice Romeo and Juliet thing going.
The flashback scenes were the strongest on production and acting.
the acting and audio could have used some help on the rest.
nice entry -- the betrayers all betray themselves in the end ....
cruel twist of fate
like the triple betrayal ... nice Romeo and Juliet thing going.
The flashback scenes were the strongest on production and acting.
the acting and audio could have used some help on the rest.
nice entry -- the betrayers all betray themselves in the end ....
Richard J. Johnson
Joystick Member
The ADR kind of took me out of it. and the Acting was okay. But I enjoyed the story and some of the shots were great. Overall I enjoyed the film. Nice job. I also liked the fact that everyone died.
MrSeth
Well-known member
My critique for The Perfect Heist
The story:
I liked the story and when you told it through flashbacks I understood it better. Liked the concept that everyone dies in the end. A couple things I didn't get. What was the motivation for the first lead actor to kill the girl? When he did kill her, he left the door open, so wouldn't the 2nd guy see her instead of going to the bedroom first? or maybe he was just checking if there was anyone else in that hotel. And lastly I didn't get why he would pick up the drink... it seemed like there should be more of a motivation for him to do that? If it was a careful thought out plan, she would've told him that she is poisoning him and he wouldn't have even touched the drink.. which leads me to interpret that maybe SHE betrayed him as well? lol anyhow I like how I'm thinking about all these things - it just means you told your story with the intent for us to think about these things. Good job!
The acting:
I think acting could have been improved but I was still convinced by the characters all the cast played.
The camerawork:
You did marvelous with the hv20! Good job.. loved how you made it seem so real.
The editing:
Some of the cuts could have been shortened. Again, I liked how you introduced us with the action and then later explained everything that lead up to it. Good job
The sound and music:
Honestly, I believe the dialogue editing could be improved a little. The noise could be heard and I could tell when someone was about to talk when the hiss begin. For some reason the audio didn't sync well with the picture (1 or 2 seconds ahead). It may just be my computer.
Overall impression:
Simple and sweet. Thanks!
My favorite shot:
The story:
I liked the story and when you told it through flashbacks I understood it better. Liked the concept that everyone dies in the end. A couple things I didn't get. What was the motivation for the first lead actor to kill the girl? When he did kill her, he left the door open, so wouldn't the 2nd guy see her instead of going to the bedroom first? or maybe he was just checking if there was anyone else in that hotel. And lastly I didn't get why he would pick up the drink... it seemed like there should be more of a motivation for him to do that? If it was a careful thought out plan, she would've told him that she is poisoning him and he wouldn't have even touched the drink.. which leads me to interpret that maybe SHE betrayed him as well? lol anyhow I like how I'm thinking about all these things - it just means you told your story with the intent for us to think about these things. Good job!
The acting:
I think acting could have been improved but I was still convinced by the characters all the cast played.
The camerawork:
You did marvelous with the hv20! Good job.. loved how you made it seem so real.
The editing:
Some of the cuts could have been shortened. Again, I liked how you introduced us with the action and then later explained everything that lead up to it. Good job
The sound and music:
Honestly, I believe the dialogue editing could be improved a little. The noise could be heard and I could tell when someone was about to talk when the hiss begin. For some reason the audio didn't sync well with the picture (1 or 2 seconds ahead). It may just be my computer.
Overall impression:
Simple and sweet. Thanks!
My favorite shot:
Chris_Keaton
ScriptFEST Mod
Nice job, but I have to comment on the screenplay. There was no subtlety in the dialog, everything was just blurted out or otherwise 'on the nose'. Actions can sometimes speak louder if not better than words.
totitefilms
Well-known member
Thanks for viewing. One lesson that I learned from this film is never used junk audio cable. I almost wanted to drop out when I first heard the noise in the footage :embarasse
totitefilms
Well-known member
I'm glad you liked the story. It's my first time doing ADR so there is still room to improve :happy:
totitefilms
Well-known member
Thanks for viewing! You definitely have the writer's instinct about the screenplay
but I kind of like everything to be up front then add a little twist at the end.
vnguyen972
Well-known member
Hey man... it was truly a great effort on making this film! It was indeed the exact same story that a friend of mine when I read the script! Probably the same original screenplay! Its cool though!
This is a very dynamic film and I wish if there was more dynamic shots than just simple one angle and pan it from the door to the bed... I like the shower scene the most... not because of the nudity... ok it probaly was ...LOL but it was executed well... acting wise... are these real actors or they're just friend helping out? Their acting needs lots of work as they didn't bring out the believability from the characters.. but I could see they tried their best and when one could bare all for a scene.. that's the real dedication
I know you had trouble in ADR so I won't say anything about that... its a learning process to improve on the next one! Overall, great job and I encourage the whole team keep on making films, its the only way to get better!
This is a very dynamic film and I wish if there was more dynamic shots than just simple one angle and pan it from the door to the bed... I like the shower scene the most... not because of the nudity... ok it probaly was ...LOL but it was executed well... acting wise... are these real actors or they're just friend helping out? Their acting needs lots of work as they didn't bring out the believability from the characters.. but I could see they tried their best and when one could bare all for a scene.. that's the real dedication
I know you had trouble in ADR so I won't say anything about that... its a learning process to improve on the next one! Overall, great job and I encourage the whole team keep on making films, its the only way to get better!
Good effort and I think the story has potential.
I think the acting hurt the film the most. Obviously there's audio issues, but that could be fixed with some ADR and additional sound design work.
When he drinks the shot at the end I felt that was contrived. I would imagine in that situation what would really happen is he would bolt out of there as soon as he heard the sirens and not even think about taking that drink. The fact he drank it completely took me out of the belief of the story or the triple betrayal.
The look of the film was pretty flat. Some lighting, set design, alternate angles, and tighter shots could have helped the cinematography a lot. And don't forget color correction.
Like I said, it's a decent story with potential and a good effort. Keep at it.
I think the acting hurt the film the most. Obviously there's audio issues, but that could be fixed with some ADR and additional sound design work.
When he drinks the shot at the end I felt that was contrived. I would imagine in that situation what would really happen is he would bolt out of there as soon as he heard the sirens and not even think about taking that drink. The fact he drank it completely took me out of the belief of the story or the triple betrayal.
The look of the film was pretty flat. Some lighting, set design, alternate angles, and tighter shots could have helped the cinematography a lot. And don't forget color correction.
Like I said, it's a decent story with potential and a good effort. Keep at it.
Matt Harris
Veteran
Don, i liked the story, and i give an overall thumbs up.
i mean this a very positive light:
The acting, dialogue, lighting, color correction; most everything technical,
needed some improvement. But everything was serviceable. The ONLY
thing really hurting you was the bad sound recording, but you have addressed that already.
The good news is, i really liked your story. I loved that the guy at the end drank the poisoned vodka. i wrote a very similar story with the same ending so maybe im partial to it.
bottomline, you have some room to grow so keep making shorts and you'll hammer out some of the technical problems as time goes on. congrats on the entry!
i mean this a very positive light:
The acting, dialogue, lighting, color correction; most everything technical,
needed some improvement. But everything was serviceable. The ONLY
thing really hurting you was the bad sound recording, but you have addressed that already.
The good news is, i really liked your story. I loved that the guy at the end drank the poisoned vodka. i wrote a very similar story with the same ending so maybe im partial to it.
bottomline, you have some room to grow so keep making shorts and you'll hammer out some of the technical problems as time goes on. congrats on the entry!
RodThompson
Veteran
I'm not going to focus on anything negative, because as an artist, I know I've banged my head against the wall a thousand times because something didn't turn out right. It happens. The best thing to pull out of this is that you made a film. There are people with FILM DEGREES who aren't even putting anything out there, so you're on the right path. My recs:
- Hold auditions, using Craigslist to advertise. There are ALWAYS needy actors looking for free work just to put on a resume.
- As far as angles and shooting styles, when you find the genre you're wanting to shoot (i.e. Heist), watch about 10 films in the same vein from diff directors and find a good middle-ground of pacing, angles, and over style.
- And most of all, never forget your last failure, because those who focus solely on their successes never see room for improvement. Take every bit of advice from this thread and USE IT. Have fun with it...remember, it's not a job. It's a hobby!
- Hold auditions, using Craigslist to advertise. There are ALWAYS needy actors looking for free work just to put on a resume.
- As far as angles and shooting styles, when you find the genre you're wanting to shoot (i.e. Heist), watch about 10 films in the same vein from diff directors and find a good middle-ground of pacing, angles, and over style.
- And most of all, never forget your last failure, because those who focus solely on their successes never see room for improvement. Take every bit of advice from this thread and USE IT. Have fun with it...remember, it's not a job. It's a hobby!
Homunculus
Carbonite Member
the ADR was poorly done and was very obviously ADR. it just didn't match that well at all.
the story was pretty good and the male actor was decent for the part. and I thought the female was good in the middle section, talking to her real boyfriend whereas she wasn't as good in the beginning. the real boyfriend's acting was not that convincing in the emotional scenes.
I agree with others that the flashback scenes were basically the most convincing.
I agree with keaton who said that the dialogue is way too heavy handed. for example the guy doesn't need to say "ugh..vodka what was in that drink" as he dies. we know the drink was poisoned we saw her put something in it so it takes you out of it with unrealism when he has that self monologue.
Anyhow the weakest parts were the unconvincing ADR for sure, if that was fixed up it will go a long way to making it far more believable and convincing as a whole.
And by ADR I mean 3 things
1. the actual timing of it is off, i.e. their mouths are moving at the wrong times
2. the actual sound of it, there's far too much hiss and improper recording of it
3. the actual acting of the ADR is campy and not realistic
the story was pretty good and the male actor was decent for the part. and I thought the female was good in the middle section, talking to her real boyfriend whereas she wasn't as good in the beginning. the real boyfriend's acting was not that convincing in the emotional scenes.
I agree with others that the flashback scenes were basically the most convincing.
I agree with keaton who said that the dialogue is way too heavy handed. for example the guy doesn't need to say "ugh..vodka what was in that drink" as he dies. we know the drink was poisoned we saw her put something in it so it takes you out of it with unrealism when he has that self monologue.
Anyhow the weakest parts were the unconvincing ADR for sure, if that was fixed up it will go a long way to making it far more believable and convincing as a whole.
And by ADR I mean 3 things
1. the actual timing of it is off, i.e. their mouths are moving at the wrong times
2. the actual sound of it, there's far too much hiss and improper recording of it
3. the actual acting of the ADR is campy and not realistic
pborghee
Active member
Well.....awesome story line and loved how the betrayal went didnt see it coming at all. I do have some things i would work on.
1. I assume that the voices were added in later? It sounded like you filmed it and the voices werent good so you just recorded the voices at the house and edited them in.
2. Acting was well not the best but def not the worst. They could have used some practice on showing emotions and ****.
3. Effects werent done. I know this is low budget but you have to work around it. The pillow didnt even have a hole in it. You could have takent he pillow to a gun range and blew a hole it in and would have made the scene flow better. Also maybe a muzzle blast or some blood on the shower wall.
All in all i have to give you props. You banged out a decent film and had a awesome story line. When you get done shooting always, for me, go back and watch it and see the little things that other film makers would notice and see what you can do to fix it. You may not have the equipment or effects program which is fine you cant control that but the things you can control need to be controlled. Great job and look forward to another film in the next fest.
1. I assume that the voices were added in later? It sounded like you filmed it and the voices werent good so you just recorded the voices at the house and edited them in.
2. Acting was well not the best but def not the worst. They could have used some practice on showing emotions and ****.
3. Effects werent done. I know this is low budget but you have to work around it. The pillow didnt even have a hole in it. You could have takent he pillow to a gun range and blew a hole it in and would have made the scene flow better. Also maybe a muzzle blast or some blood on the shower wall.
All in all i have to give you props. You banged out a decent film and had a awesome story line. When you get done shooting always, for me, go back and watch it and see the little things that other film makers would notice and see what you can do to fix it. You may not have the equipment or effects program which is fine you cant control that but the things you can control need to be controlled. Great job and look forward to another film in the next fest.
totitefilms
Well-known member
I wish I had more time for this movie. I didn't have a big budget so I rented a hotel room 2 weeks before the deadline for 1 night and shot the entire hotel scene in 4 hours including all the setup, rehearsal etc. We did the car scene for another 2 hours on the previous day. My crew were just some friends coming to help moving lights, holding boom etc. I was filming, directing and solving all the tiny technical problems at the same time. At the end of the night I was so tired that I forgot many closeup scenes. The hotel room was small and had a big mirror as you can see in the movie thus didn't give me a lot of shooting choices. I'm sure if I had more time, I could have some more creative shots. I think the cast's performance was excellent under such a tight time constraint. I'm pleased with what they delivered.
ChrisHurn
Well-known member
Everyone has pretty much covered what I was going to say about this film. You definitely showed a lot of potential here, and there are so many things to worry about that getting it all done in one film at once is pretty tough. But I’m sure you’ve learned a lot from making this film.
The acting really took me out of it. It was way too far out for me to be able to get into the story. Part of it was probably the ADR, but in general that was a rough area. I agree with others, some different types of shots, experimenting with angles and colour would have done a lot for the film instead of all the pan stuff in the hotel.
You had a lot to cover in six minutes, so impressive that you packed all that in. Script wasn’t doing it for me in terms of conflict, it was all too on the nose – but these are areas that will be improved over time, I’m sure. The story had a lot of promise.
Memorable Moment
The other guy coming through the door and shooting at 3 minutes. Cool stuff!
I am definitely looking forward to seeing what you do next.
Congratulations on your entry.
The acting really took me out of it. It was way too far out for me to be able to get into the story. Part of it was probably the ADR, but in general that was a rough area. I agree with others, some different types of shots, experimenting with angles and colour would have done a lot for the film instead of all the pan stuff in the hotel.
You had a lot to cover in six minutes, so impressive that you packed all that in. Script wasn’t doing it for me in terms of conflict, it was all too on the nose – but these are areas that will be improved over time, I’m sure. The story had a lot of promise.
Memorable Moment
The other guy coming through the door and shooting at 3 minutes. Cool stuff!
I am definitely looking forward to seeing what you do next.
Congratulations on your entry.
Charli
cool little "title"
I don't think there was enough of a story to constitute enough of a betrayal, even though the betrayal was predictable when you saw the gun in his front pant.
So we know she's going to die but we did know that she had a partner and then he pulls off "she go, I go" - it just didn't do it for me overall.
So we know she's going to die but we did know that she had a partner and then he pulls off "she go, I go" - it just didn't do it for me overall.