The Indian Boy -- Landfill Films

filmcritic said:


****This is not the worst film I have scene, you understand how to cut shots and hit record. I liked the end POV shot the best.

Does that make everyone happy?
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I dont think anyone is suggesting you need to go that far. Fair criticism is fair criticism. I just think a tea spoon of tact can be added.

My comments on films this fest are very superficial for the most part, but as a moderator on this forum, its an easy way to remain impartial and Ill let everyone else offer longer more useful comments. One thing I try to remember though and I think should be understood by everyone when giving feedback is these DVXfests are filled with people entering of variable levels and everyone works hard to put an entry together, regardless if the end result is a masterpiece or not. So most of what Im presently offering and I see in many other user comments (happily) is encouragement.

The above comments are general and in no way related to my thoughts on this entry. Now please back to giving feedback and or commenting on this entry.
 
Matt Harris said:
"cutting from shot to shot rather than whip panning" - i love whip pans! BSG made them hot again! lol.
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BSG? Battlestar Galactica? I hope that style doesn't become famous. Personally I liked the storyline and cast of Firefly much better. You should check it out if you liked BSG. It was only on for one season and then they made a movie that picks up where the series leaves off. That movie was much better after seeing the series first.
 
I thought this was actually quite good. The dialogue was great! The actors seemed perfect for their roles as well, both of them.
Handing over the gun was a bit much and the gunshot effects were pretty weak but aside from that I really enjoyed this.

Maybe get a bit more coverage with your camera but keep at this. Did you write it as well?

Nice work.

MAH
 
Noel Evans said:
I dont think anyone is suggesting you need to go that far. Fair criticism is fair criticism. I just think a tea spoon of tact can be added.

My comments on films this fest are very superficial for the most part, but as a moderator on this forum, its an easy way to remain impartial and Ill let everyone else offer longer more useful comments. One thing I try to remember though and I think should be understood by everyone when giving feedback is these DVXfests are filled with people entering of variable levels and everyone works hard to put an entry together, regardless if the end result is a masterpiece or not. So most of what Im presently offering and I see in many other user comments (happily) is encouragement.

The above comments are general and in no way related to my thoughts on this entry. Now please back to giving feedback and or commenting on this entry.
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Hmm... maybe if I don't have anything nice to say, I'll present it like how Tina Fey from 30 Rock comments on all of Jane Krakowski's character's work. lol
 
Noel Evans said:
I dont think anyone is suggesting you need to go that far. Fair criticism is fair criticism. I just think a tea spoon of tact can be added.

My comments on films this fest are very superficial for the most part, but as a moderator on this forum, its an easy way to remain impartial and Ill let everyone else offer longer more useful comments. One thing I try to remember though and I think should be understood by everyone when giving feedback is these DVXfests are filled with people entering of variable levels and everyone works hard to put an entry together, regardless if the end result is a masterpiece or not. So most of what Im presently offering and I see in many other user comments (happily) is encouragement.

The above comments are general and in no way related to my thoughts on this entry. Now please back to giving feedback and or commenting on this entry.
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I agree. We should all be giving constructive feedback. There is no need to rip peoples work apart. And Noel is right. All of us worked hard on getting our entries made!
 
I enjoyed this. nicely paced. It had mostly believable performances and the real great moment was not showing the man hold the gun up and fire. That made the gunshot literally make me jump with your decision to stay on the victim at that point.

Even though the conversation contained a LOT of exposition, I thought it worked as a stand alone scene that turned on a couple of nice beats.
 
I've heard a similar thing but with a scorpion and a frog. Nice flick you have here. The actors made this one.

Good job.
 
I thought the actors' performances were very well done. I did get distracted by the birds - they were a bit obtrusive, but maybe that was by design. Thanks for sharing!
 
the actors fit their parts well. slow build and a bit anticlimactic too me tho. And handing the gun back was a stretch. But then again I chopped someones head off with a ceiling fan in mine so who am I to talk! :)
 
Again - thanks to everyone who watched it and gave their time to offer a thoughtful critique.
The intent with him handing the shotgun back was to convey that he didn't think the other guy would actually shoot him. I missed the mark on getting that to translate to the screen.
And yes -- can't agree more that there was way too much exposition. I never tried anything this dialogue heavy before (I did write it - appreciate the complements on the dialogue) and wanted to see if I could make something as simple as a conversation with no real set-up interesting. I don't think I succeeded (but see At Last for an example of this that works well on all levels).

You know, when you create something and put it out into the public sphere, you open yourself up to all types. You get used to it. Another guy (and I really do doubt it's the same guy) with the same username used to lurk on a local Atlanta film board and stir up crap, too, and offer the same vague credentials ("I worked on several features") but was never able to get specific. I've written and directed a really bad feature (see the review here: http://www.cinematl.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=392&Itemid=99999999), I've made a string of really bad shorts (among others, Where's the Dog? - see it on youtube), and I've managed to put together a few decent ones (The Undoing of Mongo Bizarro went to the Atlanta Film Festival and was featured on the local Comcast On-Demand, and May Hell Keep Her won best local short at the Atlanta Horror Film Festival). There's my resume. And now I have this one, which isn't the best thing I've done, but the folks that helped me with it and I all put some time and effort into making it, and I'm proud of that -- we had fun, I got to experiment a little, and I'm not going to let some anonymous [insert a term of your choosing] on an internet chat board take even a little piece of that away by exhibiting how tough he can pretend to be behind a username.
 
Hey, Brian. What's up, man?! I really liked your film alot. It was a simple story and it was well executed, but I do think there are a couple things here where you missed the boat. The shotgun first off all was hideous for the part. I know that sounds crazy - LOL - but I really don't see why the guy had that big, long thing. It's not easily concealed and from what it sounds like the guy has killed before and if he has, then he would be smarter than to use the biggest gun he could find. Also the squib effect unfortunately wasn't convincing and I think pulled away from everything else that was stellar in this film. I think you can still fix that by showing just the guy's closeup reaction as he gets shot. I also noticed in the beginning of their dialogue and a little throughout the movie the microphone rattling. That's a big red flag, but I think that maybe very fixeable too, because I think they happened at times when no one was speaking so you could just put some ambience there to fix it.

I thought the story and the acting was absolutely stellar (very important in indie films) and I liked many of your camera angles. Get some depth-of-field on the closeup shots next time and you'll be on top. Great job on this. Keep 'em coming!
 
Ok I just read some of the critiques and figured I should add more than just that. I'm a story person and I base my voting on story...the audience mostly here is technical camera folks. I liked this one because it reminds me of my western from westfest. Two people in the woods, one is going to shoot the other. I used mine as an exercise to direct actors in a dialogue heavy piece. Now whether that hurt me here, eh. I got a lot out of it. I see that here.

I like how it started, "Dig", shovel in foreground. They reminisce a bit. Some misdirection. Oh this is predictable, oh wait a minute. The gunshot came out of no where at the end.

Other than technical stuff. My only gripe is the long winded story about the snake. I'm sure that was the crux of your short. Not sure the best way to shorten it. Your actors did a very good job.
 
Marlon - thanks for the critique! The decision to use the shotgun was based more on aesthetics than a reality-based logical argument of what weapon he'd really choose - in real life, he'd have probably just brought a handgun (I like the 1911 .45 myself), but for the purposes of conveying to the audience the menace and malevolence of our "bad guy" I thought the shotgun would work better (it's a really old but beautifully maintained double barrel 12-gauge). I didn't think anyone would ponder the weapon choice, but now I know better, and will keep your advice in mind going forward!

MrKilloran - thanks for the words of encouragement!

Mobie540 - thank you for watching and offering your insights - You hit it on the head with the story he tells at the end. On paper it looked good; upon watching the footage, I cringed for the same reason you pointed out - it was just too damn long. I think if I do anything else with it, I might remove the entire speech - maybe just have him ask the other guy if he remembers the story his dad told them when they were kids, have an awkward silence waiting for him to say more, and then just have him shoot.
 
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