The Camera

You did a pretty good job and had a nice story, but the technical problems really distract a lot, especially the jump cutting and sound jumping all over the place with every cut. On the story side, his dream about finding her with the other guy, wouldn't it make more sense to say... kill the other guy or do something driven by his emotion at that point? Getting hit by a car just comes out of no where and doesn't really add anything. That's telling the audience "hope these pictures aren't what they look like or the main character gets hit by a car in an unhappy accident". When really, the car accident can just as easily happen under any conditions.

The shot I liked most was the one of the bus taking off through the front window.
Acting was okay.
 
Hey Toite,

Do you have another cut of this with the technical issues fixed? I honestly wouldn't want to formulate thoughts and opinions when technical issues jump out like that. It's not fair to the content, to me.

I'll reserve thoughts til some stuff gets fixed on this one.
 
Totite, just watched your film.

Nice job.

I have to tell you that the sound is a real issue. There is dialogue out of alignment with the footage throughout and then there is the issue of only dialogue/sound coming from the left speaker! Very distracting.

The actual story is cute and worth watching. However, I feel that you could give your viewers a much more pleasant experience with some additional shots. Everything is a master shot. I would love to see some reverses. Get that camera on the peoples faces!

I don't know your experience at all. But I hope that you had a good time and learned a lot. It takes these experiences to really learn what the hell we are doing! LOL!

Lighting was very dark. Especially at the bus stop. I am sure that you probably shot this run-n-gun style... I just wish you found a bus stop with better lighting!

Lot's of thing for you to take away from this. The most important thing is that you made a film and submitted it! There are MANY who don't.

Congrats to you!

Best,
Ted
 
I would really just echo a lot of the above if I were to write a review. I think you know about all the unfortunate issues with this one. Some bad edits of the same shot as well. Shoot everything from different angles and mix and match.

Now... I did like a lot of your shot choices and I thought the ending was pretty good.

Cheers,
 
Congratulations on completing the film.

As others have mentioned, it's a little rough around the edges technically - the audio, the framing, the jump cuts.

Still, you managed to get it done in time, which is more than I can say. :)
 
The audio was way off on my copy That really annoyed.
I thought it was cool that you filmed on the bus and I liked the street locations. I thought the two women actresses did a good job. That said, the story was a bit far fetched. And you need to find a way to sync the audio.
Thanks for filming.
 
nice film.

audio and editing issues are there and already spoken about in previous reviews.

so... i love the bus scene idea. moving your film out and about is cool. and the lead wasnt all too bad. bumping into the stranger before the bus arrived didnt look too authentic though. and the story is okay, but what are the odds of finding his girlfriend's twin's lost camera? kinda hard to believe. maybe make it so the girlfriend left it at his apartment and he was on his way to return it or something? just my thoughts... congrats on your film! thanks.
 
Being Honest, It was very difficult to watch...Jump cuts really annoy me. I guess that me being a television technical director for a living. I also didn't believe the girlfriends acting, seemed fake and hard to believe. Audio on the bus was off. But I'll say that you completed the short and I could follow the story seemed kinda weak though.
 
Gohanto said:
You did a pretty good job and had a nice story, but the technical problems really distract a lot, especially the jump cutting and sound jumping all over the place with every cut. On the story side, his dream about finding her with the other guy, wouldn't it make more sense to say... kill the other guy or do something driven by his emotion at that point? Getting hit by a car just comes out of no where and doesn't really add anything. That's telling the audience "hope these pictures aren't what they look like or the main character gets hit by a car in an unhappy accident". When really, the car accident can just as easily happen under any conditions.

The shot I liked most was the one of the bus taking off through the front window.
Acting was okay.
Click to expand...

Thanks for reviewing the movie. About the story, I wanted the movie to have a positive tone so I didn't want the actors to kill each other. The car accident was also supposed to make the movie a little bit funny but I guess it wasn't funny enough for you :) And yes the audio is a big problem. Larry actually asked me if I could fix it before the deadline but I didn't have enough time. The problem seems to come from .Net version in my PC and the 24p pull-down removal method that I was using. I'll try to fix the audio later in the director cut version :thumbsup:
 
Kholi said:
Hey Toite,

Do you have another cut of this with the technical issues fixed? I honestly wouldn't want to formulate thoughts and opinions when technical issues jump out like that. It's not fair to the content, to me.

I'll reserve thoughts til some stuff gets fixed on this one.
Click to expand...

I've been traveling and won't be able to work on the movie for another 3 weeks. I'm using the PC from an internet cafe. I'll post the new version once I get the audio issue fixed. By the way, my nick is supposed to be "to` ti' te". I know it sounds like "to tits" or "too tight" for some people :shocked:
 
Almost all the dialogue AND "most" of the audio is on the left/mono side, it's annoyting, an lost me to the point I didn't want to watch/listen anymore. . .
 
Congrats on completing the film. There were some technical and storytelling issues, but keep going. Practice makes perfect.
 
Reminded me a lot of my first film with most of the master shots. Some closeups would have been nice and you'll find can make such a huge difference in editing.

The sound issues were distracting, but the story was easy enough to follow. One thing you could try to fix the audio is doing a little bit of ADR... sit in the car with your actors and have them act their lines while you get a clean sound. It won't be perfect, but gives you a hell of a lot more room to play with, especially when you have a closeup to cut to when some audio doesn't match up.

A little practice and working with your actors to remind them not to "act" but just talk, and it's remarkable how you can make almost anyone an actor, even me :-D
 
I'm not going to bother commenting on technical issues because I'll assume most have already mentioned the issues.

Interesting story - I would have liked to have gotten to the camera a bit sooner, so as to hook me sooner. Until that point it's really all exposition, and if you can find a way to hook us early enough then the exposition will go down easier (at least from an audience point of view).

Also, as far as story structure goes I would concentrate on finding ways to tell us things visually - you did a great job with that from the point that he finds the camera to the point that he gets off the bus...but that entire ending is simply too explanitory for me - it seems like there would be a nice visual and cinematic way to reveal that she has a twin. So i think the excecution could use a little rethinking -

But the concept is solid, and your visual segments work nicely.
Nice slow dolly on the Parkside Tower shot as well - that really helped the mood you were going for, I think.
:thumbsup:

I hope we see another one from you in the next fest.
 
I liked the story here as well. The technical issues can definately be fixed - the audio for example. I think sometimes people underestimate just how important good, consistent audio is. The best audio is the kind that goes totally unoticed (except for big time sound fx). Just keep working at it to make it seamless and you'll see how much of a difference it makes. There were some really good shots in here and an element of suspense. Good job.
 
There's a good concept here and you executed it for the most part. You could try a larger shot variation. I enjoyed your shot outside of the tower. Also, I know people have mentioned the audio and I know from first hand experience that it is crucial to have good audio or your audience is completely thrown from the film.

I see potential here and there were some elements that showed promise. Keep on truckin'.
 
Ted Arabian said:
Totite, just watched your film.

Nice job.

I have to tell you that the sound is a real issue. There is dialogue out of alignment with the footage throughout and then there is the issue of only dialogue/sound coming from the left speaker! Very distracting.

The actual story is cute and worth watching. However, I feel that you could give your viewers a much more pleasant experience with some additional shots. Everything is a master shot. I would love to see some reverses. Get that camera on the peoples faces!

I don't know your experience at all. But I hope that you had a good time and learned a lot. It takes these experiences to really learn what the hell we are doing! LOL!

Lighting was very dark. Especially at the bus stop. I am sure that you probably shot this run-n-gun style... I just wish you found a bus stop with better lighting!

Lot's of thing for you to take away from this. The most important thing is that you made a film and submitted it! There are MANY who don't.

Congrats to you!

Best,
Ted
Click to expand...

I just got back from my trip recently and was busy with my real job until now. Thanks for the comments. I'll make sure to have better sound and some close-up shots in my next movie :smile: By the way, I saw your movie also and it was HOT :D
 
hoz said:
nice film.

audio and editing issues are there and already spoken about in previous reviews.

so... i love the bus scene idea. moving your film out and about is cool. and the lead wasnt all too bad. bumping into the stranger before the bus arrived didnt look too authentic though. and the story is okay, but what are the odds of finding his girlfriend's twin's lost camera? kinda hard to believe. maybe make it so the girlfriend left it at his apartment and he was on his way to return it or something? just my thoughts... congrats on your film! thanks.
Click to expand...

hey movies are mostly fantasies right? where you can make the most out of your imagination so everything can happen in a movie. However, your idea is cool. I'll see if I can write another script about it :happy:
 
puckthemad said:
Reminded me a lot of my first film with most of the master shots. Some closeups would have been nice and you'll find can make such a huge difference in editing.

The sound issues were distracting, but the story was easy enough to follow. One thing you could try to fix the audio is doing a little bit of ADR... sit in the car with your actors and have them act their lines while you get a clean sound. It won't be perfect, but gives you a hell of a lot more room to play with, especially when you have a closeup to cut to when some audio doesn't match up.

A little practice and working with your actors to remind them not to "act" but just talk, and it's remarkable how you can make almost anyone an actor, even me :-D
Click to expand...


I wish I had more time to work on the sound issue. I actually wanted to reshoot the last scene at the bus stop but it was too late but the actor and actress weren't available. I think the mono sound problem was from converting avi to mov format. I just got to know how to fix it recently so hopefully this problem will go away in my next movie. Thanks for the comments.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top