The Camera

Luis Caffesse said:
I'm not going to bother commenting on technical issues because I'll assume most have already mentioned the issues.

Interesting story - I would have liked to have gotten to the camera a bit sooner, so as to hook me sooner. Until that point it's really all exposition, and if you can find a way to hook us early enough then the exposition will go down easier (at least from an audience point of view).

Also, as far as story structure goes I would concentrate on finding ways to tell us things visually - you did a great job with that from the point that he finds the camera to the point that he gets off the bus...but that entire ending is simply too explanitory for me - it seems like there would be a nice visual and cinematic way to reveal that she has a twin. So i think the excecution could use a little rethinking -

But the concept is solid, and your visual segments work nicely.
Nice slow dolly on the Parkside Tower shot as well - that really helped the mood you were going for, I think.
:thumbsup:

I hope we see another one from you in the next fest.
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I like your positive comments :thumbsup: It's my first movie so I'm sure there are a lot of things to fix. I'm glad that I was able to join this LoveFest. I did learn a lot from it. I'm thinking about joining the TimeFest also if time permits.
 
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