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Then there's Massawyrm's review, which is a bit different.
I won't be seeing this, but I found Nordling's review on AICN interesting.
so there's these girls, and they have awesome guns, and it's WWI, and you have zombie soldiers and mech robots. And there's dragons, and robots on a train on Mars. Oh and there's giant SHogun Warriors, and planes, and bombs! And-and BLIMPS!
Did any of that stuff connect or at least allude to the narrative, or was it all just sort of random excuses for effects?
They weren't at all alluded to. Just a bunch of confounding, random choices.
Dear Sucker Punch,
Just when I thought that blockbusters could not get any worse, you had to walk into my life. It was a wild, sickening ride and unfortunately, there is no way that I can get back the two hours I wasted this evening watching you. Your company was about as pleasant as a sucker punch to the balls. I will be honest babydoll, you make Battle LA look like a masterpiece. At this point, I'm pretty sure that only a lobotomy could rid my mind of your awfulness. I'm considering it, I really am. I am currently punching myself for spending $10 on my ticket but Warner Brothers are the real losers for spending $100 million on you. Anyways darling, I wish you a slow and painful death at the box office.
...Anyone who thought it was good needs to get their head checked.
OK, I haven't seen it, but I plan to (though I'll wait for Blu-ray), and I expect to like it. However, one of the lamest retorts to critics is indeed "you just don't get it."I often want to slap people who say that to me.