roganFILMs monsterfest movie

Kind of like a cross between avant-garde and splatter-porn. An interesting take on the genre. I didn't mind that I didn't get some of what was going on (it leaves the story to the imagination), but I didn'get into the flow of the film. It seemed a little jittery at times. Could be an editing thing, not sure.

I loved the basement set. Reading your thread, I know and can DEFINITELY appreciate the craft of building it. (For the first short film I did, I built 22 flats by myself on our family room floor overnight and couldn't feel the top half of my right foot for about 3 weeks.) I though the set looked pretty ****ing cool. Did you use chalkboard paint on the wall she was scribbling on?

Personally, I would have like to see you go a little more over into the experimental side with this and take us even further outside the "normal" person locked up in the basement idea.

Good job. Thanks for sharing!
 
I'm a little biased since I wrote this, so I'll keep this short and to the point.

I'm glad I passed this script off to Rogan. The enthusiasm you had for the script was exciting to see and the amount of effort you put into the production was astonishing. So kudos to you for a solid production. I'm still a little disappointed that you couldn't do the one take steadicam shot that this was designed for... that would have been absolutely brilliant.

I do wish you'd had a much longer time to cast a good Henry though. The casting of the girls was good, and your actor had a good look for Henry, but his off screen lines all sounded so forced and read like he wasn't even trying. I'm trying to be objective, but that character has to completely OWN the girls. They understand he has the power of life and death over them. They aren't properly cowed with this dude. it's something you can easily fix in ADR and I urge you to do so immediatley before you send this out anywhere. Show us the power and you sell the situation even better... the utter desperation of the girls.

I didn't like some of your cuts and kept on waiting for more closeups to take us further into these characters minds. The cut at the end when Pike goes upstairs... what happened to the screams and loud noises from upstairs that tell us of the horror he's inflicting on the bad men? Sound design tells us the story even more than just visuals. Work on that and you have a much more solid film. Maybe it will even fix the ending which at this point reallly seems tacked on.

Some more tweaks and you could have a very solid picture. It's visually rich and the actors are good, but some parts just need some serious work.

All in all I liked the movie, but once again I'm biased. Peace out.
 
For the first two minutes of the film I felt I was watching a serial killer flick or something. I didn't get the writing on the wall, why her friend had to die, I dunno.

I couldn't get a clear grip of the story.
 
cinealma said:
I though the set looked pretty poo pooing cool. Did you use chalkboard paint on the wall she was scribbling on?
Click to expand...

no I started out with putting 2x4's up against the existing walls in my garage, then put up some gypsum board. Bought ALOT of compound and applied it all over the walls for "texture", let that dry for a few days, then went and bought "slate blue" flat paint and painted away...let that dry for a day or so then invited some friends over to write on the walls whilst drinkin :D and applied flour by hand all over to give it the "dirty...this place hasn't seen any cleaner in a long time" look...then applied the $5 spray blood found at wal-mart

Rogan
 
Thanks guys for watching!

Her writing on the wall was her trying to get the right sequence of rune symbols for Pike to come...it wasn't till The bad guy (Henry) went after her that Pike shows up...b/c Pike protects Polly.

I think it turned out pretty darn good considering I only had 1 person audition for the whole film...Victoria (Polly) and asked a favor of my high school buddy David (Henry) and got Sarah (Rachel) who goes to Baylor with Victoria (Polly) and Kelly (Pike) is my minion at work and told him he was doing it :D as for the voice of Pike (played by me) my original choice was Mr. Horrigan but he couldn't do it b/c his own film and in the midst of moving so I had to get the voice in so I tried my best.

This is a learning process, and I wanted Mr. Golden to know that I don't totally suck as a filmmaker ;)

Thanks to Justin Durban (Edgen) for his wonderful musical mind AGAIN! and Gary French for his lighting abilities and color correction...him I thank the most...we have our differences at times and say words but we work well together.

Rogan
 
I was surprised to see this wasn't a comedic entry. Dunno why I thought it WOULD be but it was my own mini twist in the fest. Haha.

Saw some improvements over your previous entries in the lighting department. It looks as though there was a clear goal in what you were going for as far as image is concerned: claustrophobic and gritty. I think you accomplished most of it, or the team I should say. I did have some issues with composition, almost sure they're attributed to a lack of space to move back far enough. If I could think of something to pass on as far as a "tip" goes it would be to be careful about where you cut subjects off.

The first shot of the female at the chalkboard, the frame line is gnawing at her waist and it makes it look awkward to me. That might just be me, though. Generally, joints are a safe thing to stay away from if you can help it. Still, I think there's a visual improvement going on. Sweet.

The content itself falls a bit flat for me and I'll definitely outline why. It's a combination of things, not excluding the edit but all just what I think, so grain of salt here.

When you start off, there are two distinct images to begin building a story from: Surveillance and Isolation. There's some guy watching a girl write on a chalkboard. I get it, and then we move on. There's another captive and now dialog about saving this girl, and this is where I begin to think too much. Why is there a chalkboard and a rather perfect piece of chalk for this character to access in such a gritty location. Why is she being allowed to write, in plain sight, on the chalkboard without suspicion. Were there any other ideas being generated on a way to make this integral piece of the puzzle a bit more dynamic? Or was it done as written? Regardless I can buy that for a little while. It's a movie, not everything is exactly how it would be in life.

Then, there's someone's gruff voice. Another character's being introduce that's obviously a captor, but he's talking too much and from a non-descript location. Now, I had no idea he was a cold hearted killer until he offs the second girl, but immediately I don't believe him. In the end, I wonder if he just talked too much? Had he walked sooner and dished out the punishment, would it have been more effective? Those are literal questions. To go along with that, I put the dead girl off as an undeveloped plot device. She exists so she can die and make the guy look cold hearted enough to get his face chewed by a monster. That's fine, and I'm not complaining about it. Is there any way she could have emerged as more?

We get to the monster in a timely fashion, definitely greatful for that. I didn't get to see much of him, though, and wonder what he was. What it did remind me of was DEATH NOTE from the scattered pieces I did catch, which made me want to see more of the being. All well and good, though. I'm not sure what the effect of showing the guy's death for so long has overall. It feels like it's a really long death scene even though it isn't, which draws it out further for me. I know it's a conscious choice, lingering on that moment more-so detracted from the impact of a monster's appearance to me than it did add.

Now that the monster's shown up, things begin to make more sense. She's had a relationship of some sort (friendship I mean) with this being and now she needs it to save her. Go get 'em. Bad guys die somewhere else while she utters an apology to the girl, and then he returns and they escape. It's tied up, but there were two things that put me off kilter. One is the surveillance fella. Interspersed through the edit are shots of a guy watching this stuff on a screen. I get the mentality behind that, I must ask if he served a higher purpose that I didnt' fully understand? The dead girl, I think I understand what her purpose is, she gets a death scene. Our ominopotent party, however, doesn't get that.

THe monster returns, says in so many words that everyone's been reduced to red pulpy paste and that's it. So it leaves me wondering, even as an audience member, what's the purpose of the video monitor silhouette sicko if he didn't have anything to do? So, again, was there something I missed? I'm pretty sure there is...

And, second/lastly, I had a major brain blank on the very last shot. She stands, fixes her dress in frame for a while then steps out and I'm waiting for the next shot, to be transported to another composition but it didn't happen. So it left me hanging, literally. I know what happened, or I assume I know, afterward but there's a disconnect there.

I know that's a lot, and I'm so not picking on you, they were things I picked up on as I watched it and then went over the second time around. I can't know for sure if it was in the writing or just the execution OR just preference, the last of which is probably the ultimate truth. Hopefully, though, something comes out of it!

Edit Here: Sorry, part of this post didn't paste! It said-- In the future, if you didn't this time, a bit of pre-boading even on a budget goes a long way. You can see where things begin to fall short or move too long and get a since of how to pace content. Pacing is a lot of what also makes a story great, no matter how simple or elaborate.
Thanks for sharing another entry, Rogan, and not your rear end.
 
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Good film Dustin.

I liked the look & feel and enjoyed the camera movement. The trouble I had was with the story. I figured-out the rune symbols were what called Pike in, but I had to think about it a bit (watched it twice). Thanks for confirming that. I then found myself wondering HOW she knew about the rune signs? Was this her regular monster she would summond...and if so, why couldn't she remember what to write? I guess they were buddies, cause by damn, isn't it always true that the good looking ones leave with the monster!

The end seemed out of place...I would think she would put the monster back once she was done?

The other funkiness that's killing me is, WTF is with the guy watching? Who is he and how does he play into this thing?

As you can see, I have more questions AFTER watching the film.:undecided I can't help but think maybe some of the questions could be answered with just another edit?

Great job on the set. That was a lot of work for a quick short...unless you actually plan on abducting someone. ;-) Lighting was good. Sound & score worked nicely. Acting could have been a little more believable...I would be terrified if I was either of those girls. Also, when a throat is slit, you bleed out and choke on blood (just guessing here...really....no really!). I would have liked to see a more dramatic end.

I don't know if this came across properly...so let me just say... I really enjoyed this film. SO much better than your last experimental flick. Your a filmmaker through & through.

Congrats to all involved!
 
Hey, Dustin. Watched your film and I liked it. I think you did a really good job and I see improvement all the way around - congrats. I really enjoyed the writing on the wall. That just added an element of realism. The lead actress was pretty good. You location and lighting was very solid. Maybe a little tightening up here and there on you're on your way. Nice work.
 
Thanks Marlon! I'm glad ppl are enjoying the fruits of our hard labor. And think the set doesn't suck lol (Dick and I spent some time on that SOB) in fact I spent so much time on it...I still haven't torn it down, still up in my garage...Lighting kudos go to Mr. Gary French the local extraordinaire, the boy knows his stuff.

Thanks again,
Rogan
 
Dustin R. Rogan said:
Thanks Marlon! I'm glad ppl are enjoying the fruits of our hard labor. And think the set doesn't suck lol (Dick and I spent some time on that SOB) in fact I spent so much time on it...I still haven't torn it down, still up in my garage...Lighting kudos go to Mr. Gary French the local extraordinaire, the boy knows his stuff.

Thanks again,
Rogan
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Yeah, man, your skills are continually improving. The location was cool! Leave it up. :Drogar-BigGrin(DBG)
 
You're audio cut off at 1:19. Does a throat cut do that much blood?
Overall pretty good, the acting was good as well as the score. I liked the color grade in this one. Cool location as well!
 
Hi Dustin, finally got around to your film on the list. Had some great vibes to it, nice shots, strong music, but there didn't seem to be an ending. I would have loved to see you use the remaining 2.5 minutes to give us some kind of finality to the story, like who was Pike and what was his relationship to Polly, or how did she first summon or banish him. Loved Pike (sp?) lines: All soft and squish, red inside and out, was it? :)

You just wet my appetite, now I want to see more pleeeasse ;-)

Good work & nice CC!
Looking forward to seeing more of your films.
 
This was great, I loved it when she summoned the monster with the symbols.... The Monster kinda reminded me of Michael Myers and the way he picked up the big guy.... The music was excellent and brought suspense. The lighting and set were done really well!
 
Hi Dustin,

it was a pleasure to watch your film. I watched all your films since 'TimeFest' and obviously your filmmaking skills are going to be better and better with every film you made. This one is really the best one. It seems to me that this is very serious work. Compliments :)

Susanne
 
Where did this take place? Who was the monster? What was he? Who was watching on the TV? What was the relationship between the two girls?

Not quire sure what I just watched. Music was a bit lacking, as was the monster's voice.

The scene's looked incredible, the DP did a really great job. And I thought the lead actress did a really good job.
 
This film feels very much like a scene out of a larger feature and thus is not a very effective short film at all. Now that doesn't mean its not entertaining or effective in many other ways!
It looks great, it sounds good, its acted okay and it has a groovy enough monster which ill get to but...

its not a very good 'short film'. If i took it to someone and said, here - this is a film. They would say, but is that it? wheres the rest?

It's worth noting that short films are a great way to show how you can tell a story, not how good you can make a scene. For that makes a pretty crap short film.

Right - that sounds strong doesnt it? Its more a strategic point for the director/producer to consider. Regardless this film is shot beautifully, it looks great, the girl does a decent performance as does our big guy!

The story is a little confusing - we don't understand the relevance of the symbols except they invite our big beasty. This beasty and its relationship to the girl is a little too close to Death Note to be taken as something particularly original.

I would say that for all its flaws, its an excellent example of great skill in both technical and performance realms, let down by a lack of directorial vision for telling a story (not the same as 'making a good looking film.'

But massive respect to the achievements here, there not to be dismissed. Excellent production.
 
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