Corporate Phrases, I love 'em.

JeganRX

JeganRX

Well-known member
This company is going places - the synergy of our team is outstanding, and I feel the PR team has got the right solutions for mass media influence. Don't forget our outstanding marketing department, who's always at the pinnacle of success. We feel that this time is paramount for our shareholders, who have taken the time to diversify their portfolios among our proud company.


I love churning these out.
 
You failed to use the best corporate and consulting buzzword out there:

LEVERAGING.

Every time you use it, a puppy dies.
 
mcgeedigital said:
You failed to use the best corporate and consulting buzzword out there:

LEVERAGING.

Every time you use it, a puppy dies.
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I personally think SYNERGY is the absolute worst corporate term, but "good" addition to the corporate atmosphere here.
 
I agree, but you have to remember that it's important to 'think outside the box' and embrace the 'paradigm shift', all the while creating a 'win-win' situation. 'At the end of the day', you have to be able to 'align' yourself in a 'proactive' way but 'streamline' your thinking to include an 'exit strategy'. 'Empowerment' is key here as long as you can get enough 'face time' to 'globalize' the 'impact'. Without 'diversification' you won't be able to 'break through the clutter' and 'leverage' your 'organic growth' in a 'client-focused' way, instead, creating a 'disconnect'.

So, if you want to 'hit the ground running' and 'grow the business', it's crutial that you have both an 'action plan' based on 'best practices' as well as 'blue sky thinking' insuring the 'wellness' of your 'resources'. It's 'heads-up' thinking like this that will form 'synergistic' relationships with your clients and coworkers, increasing your 'skill set' and 'mapping' 'value-added' services and a level of 'transparency' that is 'mission critical'.


... you'd never know I was a corporate management clone years ago, would you?:laugh:
 
Zaza, you have done way too much corporate stuff. But, since I have a major bid/overview due on Monday, I shall plagarize from you on buzzwords. Is it still plagarism, if I admit it up front?
 
I had a boss a few years ago who formed his middle-management persona straight out of the book Who Moved My Cheese? Unfortunately, this persona that he'd developed came along with some really absurd "corporate" lingo that made my skin crawl.

For one, he would use "dialog"as a verb. I know that it's technically acceptable, but it's till so out there that it's rather off-putting. I'd get back to the office from a business trip and would have a voice mail that went something like this:

"Hey, Alex. Hope you made it back safe and sound. Listen, when you get back into the office tomorrow, I'd like you to come see me in my office. We need to dialogue. I want to download with you, see how the trip went. And I need to sensitize you to a few things so that they don't get lost in the sauce."

Ugh. I was so glad to be free from that when I resigned.
 
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DJDecay said:
Lost in the sauce [adj.]Describes someone lacking direction and a clear job definition. "Make sure the new recruits don't get lost in the sauce."
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i thought that just meant drunk. well, drunks usually lack direction and clear job definition, so yeah...
 
WTF didn't this thread get started on a Monday morning when I'm at work and could have some real fun with it? (BTW,nice job ZaZa)

Let's reach out to our unresponsive clients and create a real sense of urgency

EDIT: "That's just off the top of my head. Take what I gave you and wordsmith it."
 
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ZazaCast said:
I agree, but you have to remember that it's important to 'think outside the box' and embrace the 'paradigm shift', all the while creating a 'win-win' situation. 'At the end of the day', you have to be able to 'align' yourself in a 'proactive' way but 'streamline' your thinking to include an 'exit strategy'. 'Empowerment' is key here as long as you can get enough 'face time' to 'globalize' the 'impact'. Without 'diversification' you won't be able to 'break through the clutter' and 'leverage' your 'organic growth' in a 'client-focused' way, instead, creating a 'disconnect'.

So, if you want to 'hit the ground running' and 'grow the business', it's crutial that you have both an 'action plan' based on 'best practices' as well as 'blue sky thinking' insuring the 'wellness' of your 'resources'. It's 'heads-up' thinking like this that will form 'synergistic' relationships with your clients and coworkers, increasing your 'skill set' and 'mapping' 'value-added' services and a level of 'transparency' that is 'mission critical'.


... you'd never know I was a corporate management clone years ago, would you?:laugh:
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lol. Zaza, could you be sure to 'cascade' this memo out to the 'team' to ensure that 'moving forward', everyone will be informed that these 'initiatives' 'came from corporate' and was a 'business decision'.



On a side note, what's more annoying?; A corporate-speak-laden filled email from someone on the 'leadership team', or a very poorly written ignorant-sounding email rife with grammatical errors and misspelled words from your boss's boss's boss? I mean, how did you get that job?
 
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Rick Meyer said:
lol. Zaza, could you be sure to 'cascade' this memo out to the 'team' to ensure that 'moving forward', everyone will be informed that these 'initiatives' 'came from corporate' and was a 'business decision'.
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I'll be sure to 'facilitate' this, make sure it's 'virtually intuitive' and run it up the 'pipeline' so we hit our 'milestone'!


:nads:
 
Bah. You guys haven't written anything truly corporate until you end with "Thank you in advance," "TIA," or the one I really hate, "Thanks so much!"
 
ZazaCast said:
I agree, but you have to remember that it's important to 'think outside the box' and embrace the 'paradigm shift', all the while creating a 'win-win' situation. 'At the end of the day', you have to be able to 'align' yourself in a 'proactive' way but 'streamline' your thinking to include an 'exit strategy'. 'Empowerment' is key here as long as you can get enough 'face time' to 'globalize' the 'impact'. Without 'diversification' you won't be able to 'break through the clutter' and 'leverage' your 'organic growth' in a 'client-focused' way, instead, creating a 'disconnect'.

So, if you want to 'hit the ground running' and 'grow the business', it's crutial that you have both an 'action plan' based on 'best practices' as well as 'blue sky thinking' insuring the 'wellness' of your 'resources'. It's 'heads-up' thinking like this that will form 'synergistic' relationships with your clients and coworkers, increasing your 'skill set' and 'mapping' 'value-added' services and a level of 'transparency' that is 'mission critical'.


... you'd never know I was a corporate management clone years ago, would you?:laugh:
Click to expand...


copied and pasted ....got a business meeting monday morning !
 
With all due respect, I thought you guys were going to bring your A Game to this thread, but it became a dead stick.

Can't believe I forgot "going forward"
 
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