T2i Commercial Shot With A T2i

K

KyranFord

Well-known member
I know I'm probably going to get tons of people telling me how insanely horrible this is, but it's my first commercial and I want some decent critique. Try not to get too harsh. Keep in mind, I'm only 16. ;) The few over exposed windows are to avoid distraction from the subject of the video clips. I know that the end titles are unprofessional looking, and that some of the cuts were a little too quick.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QM7FBbLMbo4
 
Not bad, I've done worst when I was around 16...like 10 years ago on a DV camcorder...(ohh, already 10 years..)

Seriously, it wasn't bad. Some pans were maybe a little fast and there was some stutter in them. I think some fades between the shots would have helped, but I'm not a professional so...
Maybe a little color correction: boost a bit the highlights, color/saturation and the gama because it looks a bit dull.
My 0.02¢.
 
KyranFord said:
I know I'm probably going to get tons of people telling me how insanely horrible this is, but it's my first commercial and I want some decent critique. Try not to get too harsh. Keep in mind, I'm only 16. ;) The few over exposed windows are to avoid distraction from the subject of the video clips. I know that the end titles are unprofessional looking, and that some of the cuts were a little too quick.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QM7FBbLMbo4
Click to expand...

It's not about exposure , lighting or content... You need to have an eye for this and know how to properly display things. All of the angles and framing choices you did were very bad. To many wide shots, cut jumps, fast edits and the visuals didn't make sense. You can't say I'm only 16 or I'm only 40. You have to be born with a talent or work real hard to achieve it. I think you have the right concept but it was edited way to fast and the framing was totally off. Also that place looked like one big junkyard and the flat lighting didn't help it one bit.


My personal opinion is I did not like it at all.....

Keep working though as we all have to work hard to achieve this. Try looking at a lot of commercials online and see what makes them great.
 
Well, you're certainly challenged by a rather unattractive location. At that point, the decision should be made as to whether you show wides of the (ugly) location or focus on some of the interesting things that can be found there. Several of the shots were very plain, very unappealing walls. Others looked like piles of refuse scattered throughout a room. One shot had such a blown-out window that it was hard to discern the furniture that should have been visible as it was sitting within the shadows; in that case it's better to shoot with the window (light source) to your back.

The opening shot was too quick, and the front shot of the store that followed could have been better with a more dramatic angle.

Your closing shot and graphics need work. Is this for broadcast? If so, all of that is way outside the title-safe. Turn your overlays on in your NLE to see where the safe zones are. Also, the font is hard to read; try a brighter font (white, darker yellow) with a very subtle drop-shadow behind it.

Last is the sound mix. The music is way too quiet. If it goes to TV, once the stations Optimod and other processors are done with it, the music will all but disappear. That's :60 of VO with very little else, which makes for a fairly boring spot no matter how good the visuals are. Bring the music up, almost (but not quite) to the point where it starts to fight with the VO, then pull it back a little if needed.
 
as a first effort. ive seen far, far worse.

but saying youre "only 16 ;)" is no excuse. if you dont know how to produce television or advertising content. you shouldnt be doing it.
if a doctor said "sorry about the scarring, im only 25" would that fly? nope!

advertising shouldnt be treated any differently. its equally as important to the LIFE of a BUSINESS.

if this is for a class project or something. id probably just say "decent first effort!" and move on. but im assuming this is actually going on television. and with that assumption, there are about 20 pretty big and pretty fundamental technical and creative mistakes:

- title-safe. if this goes to broadcast, a portion will be watching in 4:3 and your left-heavy end titles will get chopped in half.
you need to learn about "title-safe"
- exposure. that blown out window may get your whole spot kicked out. why wouldnt you have flipped your angle to properly expose the coffee percolator and the entertainment center NOT shooting directly into the window? if there was something ugly in the background from the other angle? fine, then this shot simply shouldnt have been used.
- color correction. nearly every shot was a different color temp. sometimes you have to split the difference to white balance rooms lit with conflicting color temps . and ALWAYS color correct before you deliver a spot.
- camera moves. youre using a DSLR. you cant wield it the way you'd wield a video camera. DSLRs are crap for even marginally fast pans. and all your whip-pans just leave jitter all over the place. gave me a splitting headache after two views. the target audience for this place wont be digging that at all!

then lets talk about content. you need to practice storytelling.
1. you dont need a shot for everything the narrator says. bath and kitchen could have been covered together. same with glass and furniture. rather than 4 individual cuts for each. its common to want to represent everything mentioned. but you have to consider watchability and retention.
2. the "friendly staff" may have been more effective if theyd been facing the camera and interacting with customers. (and if joe-stockboy were dressed for work rather than going fishin'!)
3. i know you probably ran out of merchandise or sales footage. but sitting on that open sign for the final FULL THIRTY SECONDS was a dreadful way to end the ad.

if i had been directing this. rather than whip-panning everything in sight. i probably would have used:
- a variety of fairly static shots of single INTERESTING items or small groups of merchandise
- a few sllllllowwwwww pans of certain parts of the room
- a couple similarly slow moves of customers and staff

overall, the spot wasnt absolutely dreadful. but it was pretty painful to watch. there were some nice shots. but sadly, they were dragged down by the abundance of bad ones and even worse edit decisions. id like to keep your age as a consideration. but i dont think that matters in a discussion of REAL production.

keep working. listen to the advice youre given. and you will get better. ive seen experienced pros who have less ability than you ; )
 
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Being much more Engineer then Artist I look at
these things and ask myself if I was to try and
do this say 10 years ago what would I have done?
The tools that you used to produce this short
ad would have cost you a fortune not too long
ago and even if you could have done it how would
you have published it.

"The Consignment Corner" got a bargain in yr 2000
dollars whatever they paid you.

Well done and it'll only get better.
 
If the cuts are too quick, remove some clips

Keep movements (e.g. pans, tilts, etc.) slow and steady, especially for short clips

Shots with words need to be displayed long enough to be read by the viewer (e.g. the first shot of the sign)

Make the various shots more cohesive by matching their colors

It's not necessary to have a shot that matches everything the narrator says, but it is important that the shot doesn't detract from the narration either (e.g. timelapse shot of guy bagging items doesn't really communicate "extremely friendly staff")
 
wgzn said:
as a first effort. ive seen far, far worse.

but saying youre "only 16 ;)" is no excuse. if you dont know how to produce television or advertising content. you shouldnt be doing it.
if a doctor said "sorry about the scarring, im only 25" would that fly? nope!
Click to expand...

Well, if a client hired him for the gig knowing his capabilities (or rather, not knowing) then its the client's fault if they won't like. The client has "no excuses" if they don't like it since they know what they are paying for (but this probably was free). That's the rule of videography business. Although I'm sure this was "hey I'll make a video for you!" "Sure!"

Anyway good effort as most others said and identified the weak points. Take it into account. Practice makes permanent.
 
well everything has been said already. I'd just say the blacks were too crushed and White balance off. the store looks horrible point blank...but the picture style and grading you used makes it look more grungy and grimy. Try shooting with cinestyle and rent a lighting kit with kino flos to help accentuate the day light coming in (medium to close up shots). For the rooms with no daylight...well...those kinos wont do alot in wide shots and gelling tungstens to match the floro in the store wont do that much in wides either. Cinestyle with 1250 iso being the highest I'd go( pushing it) with a fast lens and a lighting kit. Also trying to edit to everything the VO is saying is the cause of those fast pans and edits...better to get static shots or just dont try to edit to everything.

that place really looks like a dump though and would be a challenge to anybody even with experience...and no $$ to get the necessary equipment. that place needs to totally be redesigned and a couple hmi's thrown in there.
 
jambredz said:
well everything has been said already. I'd just say the blacks were too crushed and White balance off. the store looks horrible point blank...but the picture style and grading you used makes it look more grungy and grimy. Try shooting with cinestyle and rent a lighting kit with kino flos to help accentuate the day light coming in (medium to close up shots). For the rooms with no daylight...well...those kinos wont do alot in wide shots and gelling tungstens to match the floro in the store wont do that much in wides either. Cinestyle with 1250 iso being the highest I'd go( pushing it) with a fast lens and a lighting kit. Also trying to edit to everything the VO is saying is the cause of those fast pans and edits...better to get static shots or just dont try to edit to everything.

that place really looks like a dump though and would be a challenge to anybody even with experience...and no $$ to get the necessary equipment. that place needs to totally be redesigned and a couple hmi's thrown in there.
Click to expand...

Agreed, a fast lens will definitely help. I Kyran is using a GH1 so you're really limited to getting an FD adapter and a Canon FD 1.4. The crop and being able to have more range to do rack focusing will make for more interesting shots. The wide shots really just does accentuate how shitty the store is. Perhaps rack focus on one interesting piece to another.
 
There are a lot of basics problems here that others have pointed out, but I would inform yourself more about the editing process, and that will in turn inform the way you shoot things. There's a great book called 'Film Directing - Shot by Shot', written by a guy called Steve Katz - imho one of the best groundings you can give yourself short of signing up for film school. Two things I would say in addition - no one learns anything about anything by you giving them whiplash with the speed of your cutting - slo down! And an important element in shot flow is contrasts in shot size - alternate wide shot and close up when ever you can. A bunch of medium wide shots strung together is never going to look very appealing.

Btw, you don't have to be 'born' with some god-given gift. Film making (be it spots, documentary or narrative work) has a grammar and a vocabulary that requires learning - put yourself in the best position you can to do that.
 
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It's all been said so I'll just recap for you(and me)
1. Slow down the cuts
2. White balance the shots
3. Better to focus on nice smaller pieces if the big picture sucks
4. A bunch of medium shots strung together isn't appealing
5. Title-safe. Titles must be inside the title safe so that viewers watching in 4:3 will see the full titles and info without any part being cut off outside the screen

It wasn't too bad imo, I've seen some local commercials that were worse

mr bill said:
Btw, you don't have to be 'born' with some god-given gift. Film making (be it spots, documentary or narrative work) has a grammar and a vocabulary that requires learning - put yourself in the best position you can to do that.
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Agreed!
 
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