"A Timely End", a film by Craig Helfer and Marc Carpenito

Overall a solid entry! I liked it. The sound was good (exept the carhit was too loud). Acting was good.

The middle part was a bit slow. nothing really happened.

Good work man!
 
Well done... I thought that it lagged a bit in the middle and I felt that it was a bit too convenient that the dealer/expert had the very card that he needed in his pocket before he realized he needed it. I felt that this would have served you better to have him get up and get it, maybe even dig a bit for it... that could've used up some of the time that lagged a bit in the middle. This is really the only major critique that I have.

Overall I thought look and production value was very high. I was also impressed by yout use of space and your proper pacing in the conversation area. Although it was a little slow, you dig a great job and cutting to the right thing at the right time which really adds to the level of professionalism. Good Job! I look forward to seeing more.
 
Nothing too new here. Pacing in the middle was kinda slow. The antique dealer did a good job in his performance. I agree with what others have said about the card in the guys pocket. It didn't really make sense. I wanted a bit more closure at the end, to know why the antique dealer wanted the watch.
 
Thanks for all your comments guys. I appreciate all the feedback but there are scenes and parts of dialogue that couldn't be put into the final product because of the time constraint.

I left the reasons why up to the audience.
 
I liked the atmospere during the whole film. Especially I loved the violine music. I liked this film. Here only two little things:
I am not really understood why the clock has it own life and started to ticking and stopping by itself. The unexpected end gave an irritation to me - this end works very well in the story, but it is more a question of how heavy and fast it was presented.
All above a good work. Compliments.

Susanne
 
I thought the whole attic scene rocked and it made me laugh cause I'm sure a lot of us have had that same conversation. Like others have said, the house scene dragged and the card in the pocket. I also thought the end distracted me from what was happening. I didn't realize the watch stopped ticking when the owner dies because I starting thinking why didn't the guy just kill the kid in the house? Why do it in public or just take the watch and say he was going to send it off to someone? Now that I know that from reading the posts I do really like the concept of the film.
 
personally that last line was hilarious... it was so non-chalant, total cold blooded killer in that old partially crippled man, geez.

Some of the shots were a little odd, especially coming into the house there was one shot of the two of them that was cut from their necks up, looked awkward. Also cutting back and forth between the two guys talking, i thought you could see too much of the older mans profile (face) which looked a little off.

Good work though, keep filming :)
 
Overall, pretty good. I was interested in the outcome and I really liked some of your shot choices. You could definitely tighten up the pace but to each their own.

Nice job getting this finished. I hope you enter the next fest.

Cheers,

Mike
 
I have to agree with Rogan. If the watch is what kills people shortly after they find it, then having the watch collector be the one who killed him was unnecessary; he could have died in a million different ways. Having the collector kill him makes me wonder if the watch and he are connected somehow; it doesn't wrap up the story.

And while you might have gotten some poetic justice by showing that the watch he just killed to possess is now going to kill him too, instead the credits roll.

These are just minor quibbles, though. Great work!
 
I thought that the casting of the collector was great. I liked his look and his voice.

The concept has a lot of potential and you could have taken the story in a hundred different ways. The collector seems awful brazen to run over him in broad daylight like that; I agree it would have been much simpler to kill him at the house.
 
Your story is a little bit confusing. It seems like the watch brings death to whoever has it but I didn't really catching it at first. Maybe you could somehow let the dealer die right after he hit the lead actor to emphasize this fact. Other than this, the movie is cool. I liked the music. You did a very good job!
 
I think what would improve this piece is if you would have shot more coverage. Having the reactions to the information the antique dealer would give you alot more options with the bulk of your movie.

I dont really understand why you went with the fock discovery and the nagging mother/grandmother... I wish it would have gone somewhere or you would have paid off the set up. Now it's just a loose end, and seems like you just wanted to use a dirty word for no reason.

Last nitpick. I hated the jeans on the antique dealer when he gets out of the car. It's confusing until you see the cane. I'd expect khakis or something.
 
actually chuklz it was the best reaction to him hitting his head just because it was a curse word doesn't mean anything
 
I really didn't learn enough about the story to make it interesting. Put some cobwebs and dirty up the checkered hanky that was holding the watch so it would look like it had been there a long time. A lot of the shots were blown out. The interior shot around the table of the antique dealer was a little washed out. I thought you gave us some interesting things to look at though, production design-wise.

There was some wasted time in this that could have better been used for storytelling.

I look forward to seeing what you come up with next. :thumbsup:
 
Writing as I watch…. I enjoyed the location. I wish the music didn’t just cut out like It did when he kicked the box out of the way. The music seemed to be in left field when he was looking at the watch. The framing in the house with the guy could have been better. Seems like many of the shots are bottom heavy. The acting… eh.. Editing could clean that up a bit more. The older guy seems like he just read the script.

The music seems like it was just thrown on top. I think a custom score could really take the film up a level. Was a quickly thrown together entry?

I laughed when the guy got hit by the car.

Congrats on Entering the fest.
 
I wish my attic was as clean as his. Was a bit disappointed that the cloth and watch were far too clean, considering it had been in the attic for all those years.
I liked the nonchalant manner of the older guy.
thank you
 
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