Why New Star Wars Sucks

This has opened up a kind of Pandora's box for me. I had not watched the re-mastered version of the original since it was released, (Empire gets a spin every six months or so), so i watched it tonight.

For starters, Lucas slavery to the visual at the expense of anything else was underscored to me in two ways. First he put in that scene with Han and Jabba. Since Han is my favorite character, I thought it was kind of cool. Lucas obviously planned to include it in the original since he shot the scene with Ford. The technology didn't exist to make it work, so he cut it. I have no problem with a "director's cut" being closer to the original vision, so I didn't mind it. Sort of like the plantation scene in Apocalypse Now. Didn't help the plot, but it didn't hurt either. Until they go to leave and Han says that they are in kind of a rush. The fact that he talked to Jabba removes any sense of urgency. Why is he in a rush? In the old version I just assumed that he was in a rush because of Greedo. Either he figured Greedo found him, so someone else might, or one of Greedo's buddies was after him. Now there's no reason to rush. He has no idea that the Empire is so hot on Luke's tail. Nobody will come after him if he has Jabba's blessing.

Second, the audio for the dialogue is all over the friggin place. Not just the obvious ADR, but even the levels. Some scenes sound like they have two or more versions of ambience and room tone. WTF?

Oh, and why do we have to see Biggs all of a sudden? How does that move the story forward. The other "eye candy" Jorge chucked in there is pointless, but also pretty benign to me.

But, moving on from that, the internet comparison between Ep 1 and Ep 4 had me looking at this with a more critical eye and i definitely found some flaws.

1) Why is it the Death Star can fly across the galaxy at light speed to arrive at Yavin almost right behind our intrepid group of heroes, yet it has to orbit the planet to get in firing range? Why didn't it just put on the brakes a little closer to the rebel post?

2) Why is it that Luke can't understand R2 in the beginning of the movie, but he can at the end? I mean, he's been around droids all of his life. If he was going to be able to understand them, he would have been able to at the beginning of the movie.

3) Why is it that R2 can access what would probably be confidential files, like the location and disposition of an important prisoner, can activate and de-activate various essential parts of the Death Star's infrastructure, but it can't turn off the tractor beam? The switch is neither locked, nor guarded, because Obi Wan just walks up to it and turns it off. It's obviously not a security issue.

4) If Han Solo is wanted, why is he hanging out at the most notorious saloon in the town. You know, the one where all the best freighter pilots hang out? Isn't that kind of dumb? I mean, hell, why is he even on Tatooine? This one wasn't a big deal in the old version, because it never occurred to me that Jabba was on Tatooine. Well, at least not until Jedi. I just figured that Greedo tracked him across the system or something. Nope, Jabba's like a block away and Han is sitting there trying to shack up with the furry guy in the Mercury 7 spacesuit. Dumb.

There are more, but my point is that as obvious as some of these are to me now, none of them really matter. Why? Because the movie is good enough regarding plot, character engagement and momentum that you just blow past them. You just don't care enough about the flaws because you are involved in the story. Exact opposite of Ep 1-3.

Finally I wanted to address some issues that don't really match up between the 2 trilogies. Some of these were unavoidable since Lucas could not have known he would get to make all 6 films, and he (presumably) treated the first film as being self-contained with just a little bit of a possibility of a sequel. I am sure these have been chatted about on fan sites all over cyberspace, but I will list them anyway, because if I am suffering, so will you :beer:

1) Obi Wan in the original film is to old to be the same guy. Obi Wan in Sith is about 30. 35 if you really push it. That's when Luke and Leia are born, so you figure about 20 years have gone by (I'm sure somebody on this site knows the exact amount of years in the mythos, but I don't) Anyway, that would make Obi-Wan in Star Wars about 50-55. No way. I'm six years shy of 50 and if I look like Alec Guinness in that movie in six years, just shoot me.

2) Why does Obi-Wan call Darth Vader "Darth"? Wouldn't he call him Anakin? He's never known him as Darth Vader (at least not as far as I know). I also don't get why he lies about Vader/Anakin and says Vader killed him. i know it's a metaphor, but he makes them sound like two different people that he knew very well. But that's another issue.

3) Why does Obi-Wan not remember R2? I know he says he didn't remember owning a droid, but after all they went through together, wouldn't he remember him? Unless he looks so old and lost his memory because of some unknown space disease.

4) Why does Obi Wan (yes, i know I am picking on him) say that he hasn't gone by Obi-Wan since before Luke was born? That's not true, is it? I only watched Sith the one time because I didn't want to put my retina through that pile of crap again, but unless he changed his name at the end of the movie to Ben and I missed it, he was still Obi-Wan...

I'm just saying this because if Lucas paid as much attention to this stuff as he did to adding one more line of Stormtroopers into the hangar bay, he might be able to make a better movie. He could have cast Liam Neeson as Obi-Wan and gotten rid of Qui-Gon. I would have bought him being Alec Guinness in 20 years.

I know I am just rambling now. Apologies. I just feel like I have left one of the most formative experiences of my youth at the doorstep to be blown down the street.
 
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*shrug* I feel as though I've been obliged to watch someone gut-shoot one of the most formative experiences of my youth, and keep watching as it bled out in groveling agony...

1) I think that the Death Star dropped into normal space outside of its firing position because they didn't know at that point which body in the system the rebels had set up their base on. A few minutes' ESM might clue them in as to which moon they're after, at which point normal-space maneuvering will get them into position. Remember how arrogant the Grand Moff and his cohorts are: they believe they're riding the ultimate power in the galaxy, so perhaps they're content to take their sweet time in lining up their shot...

2) Omitted scene involving Luke sitting down with the Rosetta Stone Droid Language pack. Cut for pacing reasons.

3) The physical lever isolated from computer control is a fail-safe: secure, keeping a system under some kind of electronic control; more secure to also have a physical control that can be guarded against physical manipulation (well, if the people on guard aren't...Imperial Stormtroopers).

4) Because Han Solo is a badass. Did I really need to point this out? And, that Mercury 7 suit fit like a glove...

I was actually very pleased that they put Biggs back in, in the hangar before the Death Star assault. It underwrites Luke's reaction when Bigg's ship is destroyed (which, while not hysterical, is clearer than his response to the loss of other pilots).

Since 'Darth' is a title, it doesn't seem odd to me that Obi-Wan would address Vader that way. That's what's confronting him, now: a Sith Lord. My impression is that Obi-Wan never shares Luke's conviction that Vader can be redeemed. Kenobi's accepted that's Vader's identity now, and addresses him accordingly.

I suppose that Obi-Wan could have said something like I haven't gone by that name since shortly after you were born, but it doesn't ring the same. Maybe at that point he's reluctant to be honest with Luke about who Luke really is, who he really is, and how responsible he is for having helped to utterly screw everything up...

I thought the insertion of the Jabba-Han scene did more than anything to absolutely wreck the pacing of the re-jiggered Episode IV. Maybe there was a hoped-for scene in Casablanca wherein Sam and Ferrari have a ten-minute sit-down negotiating a price for Rick's American Cafe. That wouldn't make it a good thing for the film, to put it in just because the director originally hoped to do it.

But, yeah.
 
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Hey, Jim, you missed the single biggest hole in the entire saga. So they separate Luke and Leia to hide them from Darth Vader / Anakin Skywalker and give Luke to Owen Lars and Beru. Wouldn't it make sense for Owen and Beru, TO CHANGE THE KID'S LAST NAME! Nope, they go on calling him Luke Skywalker all his life.
 
Because no one would be dumb enough to do that, so of course the Empire would never go looking for Luke under his family name.

Did you finish checking the Outer Rim phone directories, Tarkin?

Yes, my Lord. There's some character named 'Skywalker' living on Tattooine, but the guy we're looking for couldn't *possibly* be stupid enough, to use his real name...
 
Sad Max said:
Because no one would be dumb enough to do that, so of course the Empire would never go looking for Luke under his family name.

Did you finish checking the Outer Rim phone directories, Tarkin?

Yes, my Lord. There's some character named 'Skywalker' living on Tattooine, but the guy we're looking for couldn't *possibly* be stupid enough, to use his real name...
Click to expand...

Vader: But, I was born on Tatooine...What's the address?

Tarkin: Lars residence. 313 Elm st.

Vader: Lars? You mean the people who bought my mother and let her get taken by the sandpeople?...Probably just a coincidence. What's for lunch again?
 
The whole Han shot first thing reminds me of the story behind Bogart shooting Conrad Veidt in Casablanca. They felt like they had to make it look like Rick was acting in self defense, but in the original cut, Bogart says to Veidt "you asked for it", which makes it look like he was going to shoot first, prompting Veidt to pull his gun. So they cut the line.

I say , let the badasses be. That's what makes drama.
 
Jim Brennan said:
The whole Han shot first thing reminds me of the story behind Bogart shooting Conrad Veidt in Casablanca.
Click to expand...

Now you're gonna make me go back and watch it, and one can't watch Casablanca without watching The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, which will then spark a re-watching of all pre 60's Kurasawa, not sure why though.

You have created a monster. See, now I'm gonna have to watch Bride of Frankenstein too.

Happy Holidays all.
 
Jim Brennan said:
The whole Han shot first thing reminds me of the story behind Bogart shooting Conrad Veidt in Casablanca. They felt like they had to make it look like Rick was acting in self defense, but in the original cut, Bogart says to Veidt "you asked for it", which makes it look like he was going to shoot first, prompting Veidt to pull his gun. So they cut the line.

I say , let the badasses be. That's what makes drama.
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Yeah that stuff isn't even about badass to me but just let them be real and follow their motivations through. I hate all the screenplay book crap about setting characters in certain ways so we make sure their 100% okay to like. It's why I love so many modern tv characters like Vic mackey and mal Reynolds. Their morals are shaped by the realties of their worlds not by some contrivance.
 
Anthony Todaro said:
Now you're gonna make me go back and watch it, and one can't watch Casablanca without watching The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, which will then spark a re-watching of all pre 60's Kurasawa, not sure why though.

You have created a monster. See, now I'm gonna have to watch Bride of Frankenstein too.
Click to expand...

...which will lead to a James Whale marathon, then naturally on to Gods and Monsters which will bring you to the conundrum of continuing down the path of Sir Ian McKellen or Brendan Fraser....

Yeah. That's not a spot I would want to be in. :beer:
 
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