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Yep, which is why I use primes more than zooms that shift weight, although most of my zooms that I use aren't bad.
The other thing to remember is with a hand held design, you are using BOTH hands to control the stabilizer. One hand holds the handle, the other hand controls the ring above the handle. Both the blackbird and the merlin work this way. For the other style, like the glidecam 4000, your hand controls the shaft. This second hand is used lightly.
I would not expect to be pulling ANY focus on a stabilizer.Assistant or not.
Actually, remote FF is a common job for a puller. You use a Preston wireless follow focus unit, and the puller watches the tap very closely. It takes a good understanding between the two, but no big deal.
I must say that I'm confused about the discussion of auto focus with the T2i for video. Auto focus doesn't work on the T2i when shooting video, I would have thought someone would have pointed that out.