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Yep I don't think this one fits the brief but I like it anywayI can certainly relate to an extent having been an unhappy member of the rat race for a few years and you 'capture' hehe this feeling of being trapped in a depressing cycle very well. Your details are great - especially the sounds which is why I think it's a mistake to cut the sound for most of the script. Sound is a huge part of how movies work, and your initial descriptions of sound design really added to the mood so perhaps consider having stylised sound rather than none.
Basically, you write very well and I enjoyed reading this. It didn't bother me that there was no conventional arc or resolution as that's the whole point, but yeah I'm afraid I don't think this fits the brief.
Ps. I totally expected him to get stuck in the liftMaybe you could rewrite a version where he does, and that little adventure/diversion of being physically trapped breaks his cycle of being metaphorically trapped? Then you could use sound design to show this by having muted sounds UNTIL he's in the lift when suddenly the numbing spell is broken. Just an idea!
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Yeah, I'm surprised he didn't edit the original post to clarify. Very surprising.
But he clarifies in a later post.