"Thirst" A Ramsaur Film

Thanks TMerry, same back to you. Check out my Lisa film I just put up last night. Drop a reply on it. I have no replies on it yet.
 
Jeez, Kristin has got some intense eyes. Is that just her head shot of a shot from your film?
 
I liked the old guy, he was fun but there were a lot of issues story wise. Where would anyone find a person set-up a cookery at a park late at night? That made no sense to me.

Watching someone eating and drinking also is not at all that intriguing to watch. I think too, like Noel, best you concentrate on telling a single story and give it depth than trying to put two entries into one fest.
 
More shot coverage needed badly in this one. LISA was far better in just about every area and I think LISA could have been amazing had you taken the time to polish that further instead of spreading yourself thin with multiple projects..... again! I mentioned this last Fest and maybe even before then.
Hopefully you'll understand that these comments are just aimed at seeing you improve each fest.

You've got some talent but you need to learn patience and to focus on one project. You'll be all the better for it.

MAH
 
I went back and watched again... I want to give you comments because I believe every film in the fest deserves feedback!

I liked the old man at the beginning... and I'm trying to piece the story together a bit. I saw the fly/mosquito... I saw the "have you seen me" flyer... and then our main character is buying food. Are we to believe the missing girl (along with the bug) are now what he eats that causes him to transform in the end? I caught the bug first time around, but not the flyer...

I also liked your lighting at the beginning, though the set was so sparse I wasn't convinced it was really a food-stand/cart/drive-in/take-out place. A few additional details could have made a big difference.

Some of your shots were great (loved the one from inside the fridge), but the editing could be tighted up. Some cuts were too long, and other were too short (too much dead-air and nothing new happening). We get the fact that he's thirsty, but I don't think we needed to see him drink so much for so long.

I liked the naggy wife and you did a good job making me feel like she deserved what was coming (LOL). I think more of a soundtrack could have helped your story a lot, especially with pacing.

Overall, it was a good effort with an interesting premise... with a bit more effort and polish it could be quite good. Please know my feedback is only meant to be helpful... I myself take this fests as an opportunity to learn with views from others' (good or bad) the ultimate prize.

Keep at it! Look forward to seeing more from you.
 
EditPhish said:
I saw the "have you seen me" flyer... and then our main character is buying food. Are we to believe the missing girl (along with the bug) are now what he eats that causes him to transform in the end? I caught the bug first time around, but not the flyer...
Click to expand...

The flyer was my fault. The menu is to the left. I didn't make it noticeable enough. Was trying to dress it up a little more other than dead space, but I guess I made one flyer to detailed. heh.

And you're feedback was fine. Appreciate it as well.
 
Cool flick.

I love the ending, he's so health conscious.

My biggest question was "Why is he thirsty?"
I guess the above breakdown covers that in the menu and bug.
The bug was noticeable and I thought that was probably it, but maybe a tad more focus on him.

At times, the audio pulled me out of the story, between some of the edits. Overall it was fun.
The old guy was perfect and the blood on the guys face was twisted. Nice work.
 
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This could have used a better setup. Never bought the old guy cooking in the middle of nowhere. It had zero production value.

Nothing in here explained him becoming a "vampire". There were a lot of loose threads in this piece that left me feeling unfulfilled after watching this. It felt "thrown together."
 
ramsaur said:
The flyer was my fault. The menu is to the left. I didn't make it noticeable enough. Was trying to dress it up a little more other than dead space, but I guess I made one flyer to detailed. heh.

And you're feedback was fine. Appreciate it as well.
Click to expand...

More attention to the alien fly would help the 'how' he becomes thirsty for blood. The sign on the other hand made no sense to me? It had nothing to do with his thirst and he becomes the monster after eating the alien bug. So unless a bunch of people are inadvertently eating alien bugs in the area the sign doesn't work in my opinion.
 
I read a couple of the reviews above and I have to agree with all of them. The story feels pretty much thrown together. One thing is for sure - you caught me off guard with the THIRST for blood. I suppose it was because there is no clue that this BUG is an alien bug who sucks blood. Without the setup... you lose the punch at the end. The guy should've mutated into something horrible.

I have to agree with Michael. You should focus solely on one project per fest. Put more time into the production value, rehearse with the actors more, and get more help so you can lend your attention towards getting the story told more clearly.

You are definitely getting better and better with each fest. Lisa is a marked improvement over all your past projects. I've been watching you.
 
I don't want to repeat what's already been said...so I'll pretty much agree with all of it. After watching it a few times, I still had to read about the fly here to understand how he became a vamp. (man... I really am slow) Now if you only had him come up from feeding on the wife with a big fly head dripping with blood... THEN I'd get it!

Two films will make you crazy... I did it in TwilightFest...and I think it can be done if you start early and give each film the attention it needs. Seems to me LISA was your main drive and this one was an afterthought.

Congrats on getting both films in...keep on , keeping on!
 
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