"The Sequence" - pastywhiteboy

PastyWhiteBoy, I'm sure I'm repeating what everyone is saying, but great camera work buddy. I loved your opening and ending shots and I loved your placement of the credits in both. Great composition and movement. The lighting was very well done as well. I always say sometimes the best way to do something is usually the simplest way. Also, sometimes, the narrator sounded like David Ducovney in "The X Files". Good work.
 
Well everyone, my wife and I are back from visiting her family and letting them know the news that she's pregnant! Oh yes, that's right... a baby. Completely unexpected and unplanned, but don't worry... we're excited!
Anyway, I've had limited access to the internet over the weekend, so I'm going to go ahead and address all the posts I've missed right now. Here we go!


Blaine: thanks for the compliments! I think you are right that an older actor would have probably looked more fitting for that role, but I'm happy with the way it turned out with Jim (our main actor). The cool thing with the story we came up with is that the "brainwashing" could have happened to anyone... we chose to stick with Jim simply because he was the best actor at our disposal... not too many actors here in Hendersonville, NC! I guess we do have some in Asheville, but mostly stage actors, which generally tend to overact simply because that's what stage acting calls for. Anyway, thanks again for the comments!

Penfever: I love that you used "distanciation" in a sentence - the use of such a marvelous word automatically validifies you in my book! You've mostly understood the voice over. It is actually not posthumous. The idea behind "the sequence" was very much based around structure. That being said, when writing this, we kept it very symmetrical which is mainly obvious with the beginning and ending shots and dialog. How this plays into the voiceover is this: the idea is that he starts out in the present, goes back to his thoughts leading up to this moment, then segways back into the present at the end when he says "I can see it, but I can't control it". I don't know if that really makes sense in the way I explained it, but it really worked with the film and that's where it counts!
I do agree with you on the music. It wasn't exactly what we wanted. We could only get the pianist for about 30 minutes, and she hadn't fully written the piece yet, so we just recorded what she had and I ended up spending hours piecing together different snippets and layering some things to make the final score... it actually sounds totally different than the original recording.
Thanks again for the commments!

Kaz: I really appreciate it!

abraham: you, my friend, freaking rock! Thanks for the compliments.

WilderWorks: thanks for the kind words. I somewhat agree with the muzzle flash thing. To an extent, it would've been cool, but at the same time, small caliber pistols like that in real life give very minimal muzzle flash. We were really trying to keep things subtle and realistic. And to be honest, even if we wanted to do muzzle flash, we just didn't have the time or the means without it being a cheezy CG muzzle flash. I'm a real firm believer in minimal use of CG - only when absolutely necessary - which hopefully you don't even really notice the visual effects in our short (there are about 3 main ones).
As for the "I'm awake..." line, that one was really necessary for the sense of symmetry we were going for. We actually cut several lines from the script because they were to directly associated with what was going on with the imagery.
We also cut the shot you're referring to of him losing control before he shoots the man on the couch. The reason for that was that it was that by the time that happens, we really hope the audience has realized what is going on, which would make that shot kind of worthless. Hope I explained that well, but in summary, it just didn't fit well!
Lastly, you've brought up a really important point and for precisely the reason we did it the way we did! There are a lot of little subtle things during the course of the short that could hint towards him actually just being insane and we wanted to leave that kind of open to the viewer to decide which they thought he was - under mind control or just plain crazy.

EditPhish: glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate the fine compliments! All the audio is recorded by us... I was vehemently opposed to using stock stuff, especially gun shots! My wife did a great job with the foley work, although we wanted to do more by actually recording gun shots in each of the actual locations, but we were simply unable to do it which limited us to trying to simulate locations with different reverbs. In the eyes shot, he does kind of look different, but we really wanted to bring the focus to his eyes which made the rest of his face get somewhat lost in the effects.
The other good question you bring up is how does he get the blood on his hand? Now this was something that simply had to get cut out due to the way the shot turned out, but when the man in the bathroom gets shot, he actually falls forward onto Jim (our main actor). His dead body comes to rest up against Jim's leg and Jim reaches down, grabs the back of his head and throws him off... which leads him to "feel the warmth of the blood on his hand". Unfortunately, our actor fell a bit incorrectly and revealed a tube from our blood rig! The shot ended up being slo-moed then cut short - which I actually like better anyway, but it does leave the question too open as to how he got blood on his hand.
Thanks again and hopefully I explained everything in an understandable format!

hienben: you are the man... plus you're Brittish, so your like doubly the man! Thanks for the compliments.

briceman: top 10?!!! How about top 3! Ok, joking... but seriously, thanks for the comments! Yeah, some of the dreams turned out dark, some of which is due to viewing on a computer. I really should've submitted a different version for the web, but I just didn't.

THX-1138: your criticisms cut straight to my core! I agree with the first kill... it is a bit week. We set up too complicated of a blood rig and we had severe time contraints with the actor that gets shot. The blood rig on his chest actually moved to the center right under his tie, which he did a good job moving the tie so we could actually see the blood (although you do have to look closely), but him having to move the tie I think distracted him from what he was really supposed to be doing... dying! Anyway, it really didn't turn out how I wanted it and was unable to be fixed due to time.
The art gallery, I somewhat agree. I didn't really have a reason to use the dolly except to elongate the shot without it being too boring. The dolly was actually one that my friend and cinematographer, Tim, designed. It's pretty standard, but he's an architect so he had some sweet hookups with materials for it. Good stuff.
Thanks for noticing the cigarette selection! I actually get pretty bad headaches from smelling cigarette smoke, but cigars don't bother me at all for some reason (it's all those darn chemicals in the cigs!) so I tried to find something that was as close to a cigar as possible without being an actual cigar... they worked!
No 35mm adapter at all. I didn't want to throw another variable into the mix on this one with the time constraints we had to work on it. Plus I wanted to really focus on us just using the camera for the tool that it is.
Thanks for all the compliments!

Envision: haha! Good question! Well, I'm Andy Jackson and I'm from good ol' North Carolina. My nickname in high school was pasty white boy due to my horrific farmers tan at the beginning of soccer season (thanks to a summer of mowing lawns), so I embraced the nickname and still use it quite often to this day.
Thanks for the compliments on the film and I'm certainly glad you liked it!
Sorry again for the titles... seriously looks totally fine with the DVD file, but the downconversion really annihilated the simple Courier font we chose to go with!

dvx 35mm kid: thanks, man!

HagerNYC: double thanks! I really appreciate the fact that you appreciate the simplicity of some of the choices we made for this film. Ironically, I found that it was often more difficult to achieve some of the simpler shots than it would have been to do an "artsy" shot!


Thanks everyone for all the comments. Hopefully I've answered most of the questions that may have been asked... if not, just ask them again! I'm quite glad that you all are enjoying the film!

thanks again!
-pastywhiteboy
 
pastywhiteboy said:
I think you are right that an older actor would have probably looked more fitting for that role, but I'm happy with the way it turned out with Jim (our main actor). The cool thing with the story we came up with is that the "brainwashing" could have happened to anyone... we chose to stick with Jim simply because he was the best actor at our disposal...
Click to expand...
I understand completely. We do the best we can with what we have at our disposal. I really enjoyed your short. It had some great images. You've done yourself proud.
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WOW! I just watched your film... I'm blown away. So, you're directing a 50 million $$$ feature soon? I would not be surprised at all. This is top notch work. I watched a lot of the sci fi films before. There were a lot of great ones. Before, I had a hard time thinking, "Who should win?". I mean if in some universe I was granted a godly DVXuser power and it were up to me. Now it has become clear.

I loved the overhead shot over the stall. That was so smooth. I love the colors. I also liked the realistic reaction of the people that were shot. This was a prime example of noir sci fi. The music was also dead on and wonderful. The best.

The only thing I can think of that I would change is the sound design when the gun "echoes". I would have programmed a differently timed delay to be more dramatic. I love what you were trying to do in that scene, but I feel it could have been pushed more in the audio realm. I feel this is an important point in the film. This is a very slight issue I have with the film.

If you want I can take the original gun sample and show you what I mean.
 
i really enjoyed this one. truly scifi in my book. i thought it was funny that the man who got shot in the parking lot moved his tie out of the way so it wouldn't get bloody. I have to say your dolly work here was suberb. i don't think the actor was too young. he was convincing. you don't have to be old for the government to control your mind. my only criticism is the shots in the parking lot. they seemed a little off. when you cut from the master shot to a closer one it doesn't seem to click. i can't put my finger on it...

nice job
 
Noct: thanks man, I'm blown away by your compliments! I don't know about $50 million feature, but if you know somebody who wants to hook me up, I'd certainly do it! We actually have a feature length being planned, but it has about as much budget as our sci-fest film at this point!
I definitely see what you're saying with the gun echoing into the clicks... I too was a bit concerned with that because it turned out to be almost too subtle when that is something that we definitely want people to notice. I'll PM you a link later to the gunshot and clicking audio clips because I'm curious to see what you can come up with. For me, I found it really difficult to find a good medium between overdone/cheezy and too subtle.
Again, thanks for the super compliments. I know our film has its share of errors, but it's quite fulfilling when people notice and appreciate those little things that we worked to get in there.

JimtheJib: Heh, I'm glad you enjoyed the tie moving part! That scene, I didn't really feel that it was realistic, but the more I watched it, the more it seemed like something that someone could actually do. I mean, he gets shot... that doesn't happen every day to most people! It looks like he could be so suprised that he has to move his tie to see if it's real. Then he looks back up at Jim (our actor) and has this look of "what... how... why did you just do that?" I'm still trying to decide if I like it, but that scene still seems like a week point in the film to me, although I do love several of the shots in that parking lot scene.
Thanks again for the compliments... you're the man!

-pastywhiteboy
 
hey pasty!
i think maybe it has to do with the size of the viewing screen, but that part with the tie -- although i think it could work -- i don't know if you quite got it with that shot. I think maybe a better look at the victim's face would help to explain that part a bit more? Not sure, it might not.
Haha, you got a good laugh out of me though.
 
abraham: yeah, I think the parking lot scene as a whole is probably the weakest point of the film. That's basically the scene we had the least amount of time to work with due to our actors' schedules. Anyway, I'm just glad I could make you laugh!

-pastywhiteboy
 
Your film rocked! I especially liked the cinematography. Your DP seems to be skilled at working a camera. I also love the sense of pace that the film created. This in my opinion is the mark of a talented filmmaker. You appear to have a good sense of control and structure. I was drawn into your story quickly, without a hint of boredom. It was also very filmic... joking. A very nice piece of work pasty. Original and one of the best in the competition.

Granny
 
This is something to think after you have watched it. I liked the story.
Still i did not understand what he is fixing on his table. Maybe i am too tired now, since i havent sleep.
It remind me of Pi. The scritp is solid. I just wish it had a better visual presence. I am not saying it is bad, and the travelings are used very well. But still since there is no dialogue, i would have tried something more aesthetical.
 
Great story! Had me a little disturbed and unsettled at the end. And thats a good thing. The camera movement was top notch. Very cinematic. This is one of those films that I knew was going to be good within the first 30 seconds. I think brightness and contrast in the "killing" sequences could have been a little more punchy. BUt I loved the style they were shot in. The lack of color added to the stark brutality of what he was doing.

Very nice! One of my favorites!
 
I really dug this one and it's definitelty one of the hadful of entries in the fest that works as a short. From beginning to end the piece is very well executed from a great command of the camera to very well done music to good acting. Excellent job overall.

The killing scenes (basically the crux of your piece) didn't completely work for me. They're well executed from a camera and blocking standpoint but the gunshot effects just make the scenes fizzle out when they should be building more and more tension. The sound effect used and the lack of a muzzle flash just really take away from the brutality of the scenes. Anyway, that's a minor gripe. Overall your piece is very successful.
 
macgregor: thanks for the comments. I know some things could have been more clear, like the phone. We had a tough time finding a good medium between too vague and too literal and I hope that we found that medium while still making the story easy to understand. I know that if I've done my job correctly, you shouldn't have to watch it again to get the story, but just for my sake, give it one more shot and let me know if it is as confusing this time! Thanks again for the comments... much appreciated!

MojoTrancer: happy to have disturbed you! :) The contrast of the dreams was really tough. Because of the lighting we used for those scenes, it was tough to make it good and contrasty while still being able to see everything. Some of the dark objects (like the gun) just blended into the scene too much, so we ended up going with a very tweaked contrast/color curve that wasn't too heavy. I would have loved them to be more punchy, but the way we filmed the scenes just didn't allow it.
I'm glad that you appreciated the dry, dullish look we went with. It was what I felt best fit the story. Of course, after watching SIMILO (good stuff, macgregor), I was like "man, we should have had him kill somebody on a volcanic beach at sunset!" Although that would have been beautiful, it wouldn't have fit the story at all... so in the sense that our coloration choices fit the story, they are still quite beautiful in my opinion.
Anyway, thanks for the compliments!

Shaun Patrick: thanks man! I see what you're saying with the kill scenes, though. I too am a big fan of muzzle flash effectively used in a movie, but for this one we just decided not to do it for several reasons. The main reason was that it just wasn't realistic. I know that because we see this stuff all the time in movies, we think that's how it really is, but we actually took a small caliber pistol for all our testing and foley work, and the muzzle flash was actually very minimal... barely noticeable at all.
So as far as realism, I think we came close. In terms of effectiveness, you're probably right that we should've done muzzle flash. To be honest, I'd probably chose the same route if we did it again, though I would probably do more gun foley in each of those specific environments.
Thanks again for the comments and glad you liked it!

-pastywhiteboy
 
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This was the first out of all that I watched that stuck me. I like it lots. Serious contender here.

It reminded me of an episode of Detective Conan (the anime) where the dog was trained to attack people when spoken too over the phone.

Excellent.
 
Hah! Well I've never seen Detective Conan, but it sure sounds like something fun to watch... especially if it has brainwashed dogs! Thanks for the compliments, man.

-pastywhiteboy
 
at this point, I'm sure most of the quibbles have been mentioned, so I won't bother because they aren't major.

I normally don't post when the "good job" comments count gets this deep, but I'll make an exception here. This is an excellent short, an example of how to take a simple premise and execute it without overcomplicating it. One of these days I'll figure out how to do that ; ).

Excellent job. Loved the music, and the lighting. Even the ending didn't feel cliche'd. I only read a couple other posts, but has anyone mentioned how this movie could be a metaphor for soldiers in general, and the aftereffects of war? Was that part of your intention? That's where it resonated in me beyond the images and sound.

One of my favorites in the fest, certainly.
 
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