STASH trailer*nudity

asylumproductions

asylumproductions

Well-known member
Hello everyone again. I hope that if you had viewed the old one you will take a look at the completly overhauled version of the trailer. I took some of your advice and threw in a few other ideas i had. I really think it is going in the right direction, but you tell me what you think.
*NEWER VERSION*UPLOADED 04/07
A couple more changes
http://www.dailymotion.com/tuckywood/video/108766
 
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The narrator has a good voice quality, but he sounds too upbeat for the dark content. Some of that narration is probably unnecessary, too. It's good that you kept most of the interesting action (hopefully?) offscreen for this type of trailer.
 
The narrator has a comedic voice, I think you need a darker voice for it, but its okay.

The trailer is cool, the music is a little too slow, try adding more sound effects, see if that helps.

Story looks good, and we love anything with nudity =)
 
I really thought the narrator's voice gave the story a very corny feel. He has a good voice, but like FilmMakerr said, it is a comedic voice and not dark enough to make the trailer interesting (IMO).

Shots looked good... nice use of different lighting colors.

The acting I felt could use some work as well. Most of the dialogue was stiff and did not feel very fluent or 'real' .

I hope this helps? I know it wasn't the most thorough critique in the world, and of course this is all my own opinion, but I wish you the best of luck on your film!
 
First off I think you are right about the Narration. He has an awesome voice, he's a local dj for a rock station in Lexington. I need to find a more sinister voice and maybe cut down the liners a bit. I was pretty happy with the performances, and If I did not get the best out of them, than i guess I failed as a director in that aspect. Overall I'm happy, and I think it will come out in the final product. Thanks for the feedback guys, now If we can keep it rolling in! This is why this board is so invaluable.
 
TristanPR said:
The acting I felt could use some work as well. Most of the dialogue was stiff and did not feel very fluent or 'real' .
Little late don't you think. Great critques otherwise, but does that comment really need to be made.

________

I bet you'll be able to get distribution for this film.

You may have done this already, but check out trailers for "B" movie horrors on sites like The Asylum and other companies which names escape me that specialize in horror films.

I'd try to change up the flow of the trailer. Say if it starts slow with slow music and a voice over... then as it creeps towards the middle change the pace, scare the audience, then at the end show them a whole bunch of quick clips(I'm basically talking about the template of every trailer we see). Leave the audience wanting more if possible. Show as many attractive women as possible as your major demographic is gonna be like 18-25 males. Show a bit of gore, something that'll stick with the viewer. Feel free to use a bunch of effects that don't take place in your movie. Like if you show a shot of a girl screaming, make her a negative image, and alter her scream with an echo or something else to spice it up. Do whatever it takes to wet our appetites.(these are merely suggestions, the trailer was okay as it was, but since you've got the footage, and obviously like creating, try a few versions for fun and you may come up with something you're damn proud of.)

Congrats on making the film!
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personally, i prefer trailers that are without narration. It gives the trailer a more cinematic feel when the action tells the story (as it does in the film). that is of course unless your movie is narrated. otherwise i think it's pretty solid. keep up the good work.
 
i liek the part where he cuts her up with no foley. Leave it as is. it comes across more realistic, and thats more disturbing.

The most disturbing scene ive ever watchedin a film was in (i poo you not) Pinnoccio's Revenge. A procecutor plays an audio tape the Psycho guy recorded of him torturing a colombina drug lord with a blowtorch. IT was just sound. no music just a Hiss, and the guy screaming. IT was insane.

WAY MORE EFFECTIVE than like, SAW, or something. this left way more to the imagination.
 
Some nice elements in your trailer. One thing that did take me out of the trailer was the girl crying in the woman's arms. This was quickly followed by the narrator taking the bad guys perspective. For me, that switch in perspective broke the tension you were trying to build.

The comments about sound effects were on the mark - a good example that comes quickly to mind is BlueSpider's trailer, Tears.
 
Stabb_Films said:
TristanPR said:
The acting I felt could use some work as well. Most of the dialogue was stiff and did not feel very fluent or 'real' .
Little late don't you think. Great critques otherwise, but does that comment really need to be made.

________

I bet you'll be able to get distribution for this film.

You may have done this already, but check out trailers for "B" movie horrors on sites like The Asylum and other companies which names escape me that specialize in horror films.

I'd try to change up the flow of the trailer. Say if it starts slow with slow music and a voice over... then as it creeps towards the middle change the pace, scare the audience, then at the end show them a whole bunch of quick clips(I'm basically talking about the template of every trailer we see). Leave the audience wanting more if possible. Show as many attractive women as possible as your major demographic is gonna be like 18-25 males. Show a bit of gore, something that'll stick with the viewer. Feel free to use a bunch of effects that don't take place in your movie. Like if you show a shot of a girl screaming, make her a negative image, and alter her scream with an echo or something else to spice it up. Do whatever it takes to wet our appetites.(these are merely suggestions, the trailer was okay as it was, but since you've got the footage, and obviously like creating, try a few versions for fun and you may come up with something you're damn proud of.)

Congrats on making the film!
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Thanks for the comments.
I think the flow really does need to speed up towards the end to build tension. I also have some gore elements that I cold toss in there. Do you think the open shots work? Where do you think the pacing should be picked up were it builds into a frenzy?I have a theme song that is very backwoodsy that I could use that would take it into a whole another direction. I will get back to the drawing board, because I never thought that this was the "one". Might be if I get back to work with it and use some of the great tips that I have so far. I would love to hear some more as well.
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the voice was ok, agree the narrator sound more comic then sinster or threating, , know i really liked ur camera work what program u use to edit with , premiere , vegas etc and what u use for CC ?? and what u use for lights if and lighting if use any, and the story sound cool the chained up girls sinster guy the he on the money he look frighting dam straight there

peace n luv

Mark Dog
 
Mark Dog said:
the voice was ok, agree the narrator sound more comic then sinster or threating, , know i really liked ur camera work what program u use to edit with , premiere , vegas etc and what u use for CC ?? and what u use for lights if and lighting if use any, and the story sound cool the chained up girls sinster guy the he on the money he look frighting dam straight there

peace n luv

Mark Dog
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Thanks Mark Dog. I use FCP 4.5, all color correction to this point has been done with the 3 way CC in FCP. For lighting we used a very basic Lowel 3 piece light kit. 1 Tota, and 2 Omni's. We also had a couple C-Stands with some silks and flags. Very limited on our lighting setup, but I think we did pretty well with what we had to work with. Anyone have anymore Ideas on the trailer? I think I got more of an idea were to go with it now, but would love to hear some more suggestions.
 
It was a good trailer, no doubt, but the voice (like already mentioned of course) just wasn't working. I think that if the voice actor toned it down a bit and gave a much more depressing and solemn narration, it would work much better. he just had too much emphasis on certain syllables.

Anyway, it seems like a really interesting feature. :)
 
Hey guys I have a brand new trailer that is much more fast paced, loaded with more nudity, gore, less naration, and a killer track from a local metal band and i think it is 100 x better. I am uploading, and will have it posted soon. Thanks for all the coments!
 
I'd dump the narrator and use black title cards instead to say that stuff.

Use like like 3-4 max.

Ex:

It was supposed to easy.

Get in, get out.

(Can't remember your third statement)

Then at the end put something like:

It was all for the

Then wham

STASH

Just my opinion, I think it could look good.
 
ecking said:
I'd dump the narrator and use black title cards instead to say that stuff.

Use like like 3-4 max.

Ex:

It was supposed to easy.

Get in, get out.

(Can't remember your third statement)

Then at the end put something like:

It was all for the

Then wham

STASH

Just my opinion, I think it could look good.
Click to expand...
Hmm that might work. I'm not crazy about title cards. I'm kinda liking the narration now that it is cut down a bit fron the orginal. I have someone else in mind to give it a try. I will try another another version with a different voice and see what happens.
 
Pretty cool. Nice images, fitting CC work, but I'm on board with everyone else about the VO guy.

Go Bucks!
 
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