Slumdog Millionaire by Danny Boyle

jpastuch said:
Not a very good film. Hollow, standard hollywood love story. His obession with this girl was just that- and obsession, not love. Love isn't destiny- like someone else said, real love is when you spend just as much time hating the person as loving them. It's a big struggle, not some goofy idea of destiny.

What is this film even saying? He gets rich and "gets the girl" at the end because of a series of coincidences. How about the obession with money and concepts leading to disaster? How about showing how the real India isn't just one giant slum? How about showing how bad the slums REALLY are, in a ruthless, scary, unflinching way like in City of God? The main character made it out of the slums in that film not by luck or coincidence or "destiny"- he did it by risking his life and having a personal passion to hold on to- for himself.

Anyway, whatever. When have the Oscars been a barometer for good films? Rarely- very very very rarely.
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YES! AGREE! I DO! RIGHT HERE!

People keep telling me that the only reason I thought the movie was crap was because it was over-hyped -- but I've never paid any attention to hype. Dark Knight was "over-hyped". Guess what movie I thought was kick-booty awesome?

This movie was Bollywood entering into Hollywood cinema of the early 80s. Most Bollywood stuff is so tragically unwatchable that people literally stood up and cheered because this one managed to maintain the interest of a western audience for more than 5 minutes. But the ironic thing is that this movie isn't FROM Bollywood. The actors aren't Indian, they're English, as is the director, et al. Thus, it should be judged accordingly.

Despite this movie showcasing Indian people as an abusive, uneducated, prejudice people, all of India still cheered because America actually gave the movie a thumb up...

The movie was cardboard-bad and completely offensive if you actually look at the thing scene by scene. I mean, the darker, evil brother is a Muslim?!?!

Come on, man. This movie is a wretched thing. Don't be fooled by them making American's look like superstars, "This is how we do things in America." I literally almost turned the movie off after that line...

Nothing in the script was unique. Nothing in the acting was profound. The movie was watchable but wholly uninspired
 
David Jimerson said:
:huh:
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Yeah, not exactly what I meant (If I was the one being paraphrased). I never hate my wife, but there are things about her that drive me nuts. But I choose to stay and I love her more than anything. She does the same (I'm hoping...) My point was just that I don't buy into the destiny thing about love. Romance is about seeing beyond people's faults and choosing to build something together. People who buy into the soulmate/destiny thing are the one's who bail when things get tough, and they always get tough at some point.
 
Finally saw it on DVD. A film that will go down in my book as a surprisingly good movie. It really did deserve the attention it got and the awards it had won. But...what we have to say, yae or nae, matters very little. It made a ton of money and Danny Boyle is enjoying his glow right now, as we speak. I'm pretty sure some of us filmmakers would love to be him right now....LOL. j/k.

For those of you who have not seen it, watch it. Look for the Bollywood treat at the end.
 
Jim Brennan said:
Yeah, not exactly what I meant (If I was the one being paraphrased). I never hate my wife, but there are things about her that drive me nuts. But I choose to stay and I love her more than anything. She does the same (I'm hoping...) My point was just that I don't buy into the destiny thing about love. Romance is about seeing beyond people's faults and choosing to build something together. People who buy into the soulmate/destiny thing are the one's who bail when things get tough, and they always get tough at some point.
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This always surprises me about people in relationships. They always talk about the other person driving them nuts or the toughness of it all. I don't understand. I've had mostly long term relationships in my life, and all of them were filled with nuts and toughness -- until I met the girl I knew I would marry. The girl, when I was eight years old, I met in dreams and talked with and loved.

We've been together for years and we've never once had a single fight. Never once have I gotten upset with her or her with me. Heck, I remember one time she said something in the next room and I rolled me eyes? I stopped the conversation immediately and went into the room with her, told her I'd just rolled my eyes at what she said, and apologized for it. If I was having, like, lustful thoughts about some chick walking down the street, I mention it to her and we talk about it. Just like every time she walks into a room and I'm blown away by my love for her and how beautiful I think she is, I tell her.

I do believe that we can love many people, but when you've found true love and that sense of deep knowing is all-encompassing, it really is something beyond understanding in human terms. The mutual connection is ethereal, ya know? Spiritual, I guess. If you can rip away all of your human layers, with your true love you are able to speak with ungaurded honesty.

She demands that I understand and accept her completely, as I do her. In true love the human stuff falls away because the love will be there long after our bodies and brains are dust.

In the end, the only thing that should take "work" in a relationship is the work we do on ourselves -- the work we do protecting that love and not allowing it to be molested by all the human garbage that attempts to interfere.

There is perfection in the world and that perfection is when we've allowed ourselves to let go of all the human stuff and let ourselves exist in absolute love.
 
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Well, I admire and respect your experience. But I have counseled couples personally and professionally for decades. Your experience is close to unique.

While I agree that the only real work we can do is on ourselves (meaning you can't really change anyone else), there is 'work' involved in understanding and accepting another human being. We are all different and we all have different moods, motivations, desires and experiences which make the road rough at times. I don't really always understand myself, so I can't imagine I will ever be able to fully understand anyone else.

But that is what makes the relationship so rewarding. To be frank, only that which requires work is fulfilling. If it isn't (at least at times) difficult, then it seems to be a bit boring.

I mean no disrespect, but the very reason why I love, trust and count on my wife is BECAUSE of the rough times, not in spite of them. I am more grateful for those moments than any other.
 
Batutta said:
Come on!!!! Not once!!! Not a single solitary time!!! You are not human beings as I know them.
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LOL -- I swear! There's just never been a reason to argue. We've both argued with other people (though we're both relatively passive), but most of what we talk about revolves around the bettering of ourselves as individuals or what we love about each other. There's simply nothing that either of us do that bothers one another -- certainly not enough to bring us to arguing.

I think we have such a profound respect for one another and a profound respect for our love that we simply are incapable of disrepecting the choice we've made to be in our relationship (as a relationship, unlike love, is a choice). And we certainly wouldn't allow ANY human, menial business to get in and muck with our affections for one another. We both understand that nothing we will ever do in our lives will be as important than having found one another in this life. We each individually have our goals and asperations, but in the sense of spirit and purpose, finding your true love is a profound thing -- a thing that shouldn't be taken for granted or disrespected by your human shortcomings.

Unlike a lot of people, never in our day do me or my girl have to pause and question what is really important in this life. We live every moment in absolute understanding and presence in the moments, in love and with purpose. Like I said, all the human stuff is already gone. We're already dead. My love has existed long before I was born and it'll be present long after my flesh is discarded, right? Nothing is more important than what's eternal. Everything, all this, is just window-dressing and magazine covers.
 
I think it is important to point that many people believe conflict is a bad thing. It isn't. In fact, it is from conflict that we grow, learn and become enriched. It is how we handle conflict that matters. It also does not mean you don't respect someone. In fact, a healthy respect often fosters conflict because it means you care enough to disagree.

Most of the people who say they don't fight are just avoiding conflict, which is quite unhealthy, and usually ends up biting you in the butt at some point.
 
Chamber005 said:
LOL -- I swear! There's just never been a reason to argue. We've both argued with other people (though we're both relatively passive), but most of what we talk about revolves around the bettering of ourselves as individuals or what we love about each other. There's simply nothing that either of us do that bothers one another -- certainly not enough to bring us to arguing.

I think we have such a profound respect for one another and a profound respect for our love that we simply are incapable of disrepecting the choice we've made to be in our relationship (as a relationship, unlike love, is a choice). And we certainly wouldn't allow ANY human, menial business to get in and muck with our affections for one another. We both understand that nothing we will ever do in our lives will be as important than having found one another in this life. We each individually have our goals and asperations, but in the sense of spirit and purpose, finding your true love is a profound thing -- a thing that shouldn't be taken for granted or disrespected by your human shortcomings.

Unlike a lot of people, never in our day do me or my girl have to pause and question what is really important in this life. We live every moment in absolute understanding and presence in the moments, in love and with purpose. Like I said, all the human stuff is already gone. We're already dead. My love has existed long before I was born and it'll be present long after my flesh is discarded, right? Nothing is more important than what's eternal. Everything, all this, is just window-dressing and magazine covers.
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I'll just say you're missing out on some great make-up sex!
 
Jim Brennan said:
Well, I admire and respect your experience. But I have counseled couples personally and professionally for decades. Your experience is close to unique.

While I agree that the only real work we can do is on ourselves (meaning you can't really change anyone else), there is 'work' involved in understanding and accepting another human being. We are all different and we all have different moods, motivations, desires and experiences which make the road rough at times. I don't really always understand myself, so I can't imagine I will ever be able to fully understand anyone else.

But that is what makes the relationship so rewarding. To be frank, only that which requires work is fulfilling. If it isn't (at least at times) difficult, then it seems to be a bit boring.

I mean no disrespect, but the very reason why I love, trust and count on my wife is BECAUSE of the rough times, not in spite of them. I am more grateful for those moments than any other.
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Yeah, but tough times happen all the time. We shouldn't be creating additional tough times from the foundations of our relationship. My girl has been through many tough times with me, but I would never have allowed myself or she herself to create those tough times for us. I can't imagine anything more base and genuinely evil than treating the one you love with even a moment of disrespect, as you can never, ever get that moment back again.

As for not understanding yourself...that's a tough one. I was in mental homes from an early age all the while they were trying to force feed me medications to create a more "normal" me. I think through those bouts of adolecent insanity I had to create palpable the kind of spirit people refer to in after thought (or don't refer to at all). I think the only way we as humans can overcome mental afflictions is by using something beyond the gray matter -- since that is the infected part. Maybe in doing so I've been able to sip from a different sauce than a lot of people, and because she is my true love, at the beginning of our relationship she asked that I form the vessel for our love -- a vessel that will be able to withstand all of the human trappings in store for all people.

It's incredibly sad to hear from a person of your vast experience that love doesn't exist this way for most people. My girl and I always assumed that there were many, many couples out there just like us but that we simply hadn't met them.

Regardless, love is love. My love for my woman is no deeper than any man has for his significant other. But we're all animals and so must all work daily to achieve the higher self, that deeper understanding of love and spirit.
 
I think you are misunderstanding me. I don't intentionally disrespect my wife. That doesn't mean she doesn't do things that irritate me, or vice versa. You mean to tell me that this woman has never done ANYTHING, EVER to make you say, "jeez, I can't believe she did this", or "what was she thinking?" I find that pretty much impossible to believe.

Love is not about never being angry at one another. It is about choosing to work through those things and build something worthwhile.
 
Batutta said:
I'll just say you're missing out on some great make-up sex!
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LOL! See, and I KNOW me some make-up sex from the past relationships I've had.

But there is a kind of sex that is equally as passionate. When myself or my girl speak with one another regarding deep emotional issues (often times not related to one another but just emotional aspects of the self), there's a similar kind of kinetic energy that occurs, much like when I've argued with people in previous relationships. What makes make up sex so great is there was a release and then a sense of triumph or defeat and then, finally, a sense of deep re-connecting. Sitting with another person and having them find that place where love meets body is incredibly emotional and profound because, as humans, we understand that we will never in this life ever truly be intertwined with our true love. Our very existence prevents that. But sex after an emotional experience offers at least some solace. Even if our love has to exist in these two separate bodies, during sex those bodies kind of mold from the psyche's perspective.

On the real, the only thing that was especially challenging in the beginning (sex-wise) was that I had TOO much respect for her. She was a virgin when we met and I had the most horrific time letting my more animal self take over, even if I wanted it to.

Obviously I got over it with time.

Bottom line, if you're with the one you love you will know it because you will have known them before -- a past life, a division of a previous space in time that you both once shared -- you know it as simple as gravity. You know it like you understand your purpose in this life. Everything that is important is already inside yourself. You already know who you love. You already know what you should do and where you were supposed to arrive 5 minutes ago. It's just a matter of connecting with the self and monitoring that connection, and listening not to your senses or your mind, but the things that created them.
 
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Jim Brennan said:
I think you are misunderstanding me. I don't intentionally disrespect my wife. That doesn't mean she doesn't do things that irritate me, or vice versa. You mean to tell me that this woman has never done ANYTHING, EVER to make you say, "jeez, I can't believe she did this", or "what was she thinking?" I find that pretty much impossible to believe.

Love is not about never being angry at one another. It is about choosing to work through those things and build something worthwhile.
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I can only imagine that you find it impossible to believe because you've seen something different portrayed in fiction and then imitated in life by people around you again and again and again. Me and my girl aren't a part of that cycle. We don't exist in this reality where people who love each other have problems with them. How could I? She exists as she does, I exist as I do. To have "problems" with each other would be taking on a role of...judge, inspector, evaluator. I do not judge, inspect or evaluate my love or the girl with whom I am in love with. Fiction has created, because of a desperate need for story's conflict, a kind of reflection of love and humanity that isn't accurate, but because people have no connection with the self, they watch others who have watched others who have watched others behave a certain way and have deemed it rational and correct.

We simply don't exist in that kind of futile entirely too human experience. We choose to experience life and love in a different manner.
 
As long as it's working for ya, good on ya!...Now I feel like I have to go pimp slap my wife for no good reason just to restore balance to the universe.
 
Chamber005 said:
I can only imagine that you find it impossible to believe because you've seen something different portrayed in fiction and then imitated in life by people around you again and again and again. Me and my girl aren't a part of that cycle. We don't exist in this reality where people who love each other have problems with them. How could I? She exists as she does, I exist as I do. To have "problems" with each other would be taking on a role of...judge, inspector, evaluator. I do not judge, inspect or evaluate my love or the girl with whom I am in love with. Fiction has created, because of a desperate need for story's conflict, a kind of reflection of love and humanity that isn't accurate, but because people have no connection with the self, they watch others who have watched others who have watched others behave a certain way and have deemed it rational and correct.
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Actually, it's the opposite. Our collective need for the dramatic storytelling experience stems directly from the needs of our psyche. Those are needs that we can repress at our peril, but they are in all of us. We relate to that which we experience, wish to experience or need to experience in some way. It is catharsis. While there can be some truth to the phrase "life imitates art" it is most often the case that art reflects life. We do not typically seek or foster conflict in our relationships because of a movie we saw, a book we read, or even the entire catalogue that has gone before us. That is implying that dramatic storytelling corrupts rather than enriches.

I am truly at a loss to explain it any further. From my point of view what you seem to be describing is a complete denial of negative emotions within a relationship. Which, in my limited opinion, appears to be not only impossible, but dangerous. Those things are there if you are a human being, and they will find a way out.

But I will say no more. I hope that you are right and I am completely wrong. I wish you exactly the bliss you seem to be describing. I truly do.
 
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my wife and i have had some serious rifts. i lived in my car for 3 months after one of those rifts. that was 6 years ago. but one thing that i have never done, or will ever do, is raise my voice to her. i didnt have to go out of my way to avoid doing this, as i am a fairly soft spoken person by nature, but i have yelled and screamed though other things (i have been a rock n roll drummer for almost 25 years)...but my wife does not deserve such treatment, just because i am pissed off at something.

maybe i didn't touch on the exact point here, but it was something i just thought about.

Chris
 
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