She said she'd take her cloths off, I got my cam..

CCastro, There was no crew....me, her and the guy (who left after 10 minutes and his shots)
But I have to agree with you. Working the camera and gear and directing at the same time can be terrible. Just too much stuff to be watching to do most of them well.....

"note to self....Shot sheet dumbass, shot sheet dumbass......."
 
videohog said:
CCastro, There was no crew....me, her and the guy (who left after 10 minutes and his shots)
But I have to agree with you. Working the camera and gear and directing at the same time can be terrible. Just too much stuff to be watching to do most of them well.....

"note to self....Shot sheet dumbass, shot sheet dumbass......."
Click to expand...

+1 doing them all is tough - I'm pretty much doing this on my feature and next time I want more help :)
 
My 2 cents...

To tell the basic story that you're trying to tell (girl talks on the phone, gets home, passes by boyfriend, looks at herself in the mirror, strips and goes away) I would've used like 30 seconds of my very best shots paying attention to details.

I mean, you're shooting this to make part of her reel, but you're also selling it as a lingerie ad, and if you're doing a lingerie ad, do it right. Take close shots of her fingers "caressing" the bra (like tracing lines), take a closer shot of her face (you can do it since she's quite beautiful) and show she's more than happy wearing it... and taking it off.

The last two takes are quite good, but as I said everything needs to be faster. The kind of editing time you used tells the viewer you want to say more, but still you don't. Making quick cuts and going straight to the point gives the feeling of a commercial.

And about the boyfriend, as someone pointed out, his whole attitude is a bit strange. He's not quite comfortable. Make him turn 180º put a hand on his face, rest his head and watch his hot girlfriend take off her clothes with a smile before going to bed with her.

Sorry if I was a bit hard on you, but I think it'd look fantastic with a few changes. You made quite clear you can do it.
 
By the way... you're totally right. Having a shot sheet helped me a lot when directing and operating at the same time.
 
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