Salvation

[ZazaCast]

First fest? Great work! I hope to see much more from you in the future.
Powerful opening sequence with the heartbeat...and the piano...great edit.
I think the narration could have been more carefully recorded as I heard a bunch of
'plosions' on the p's, b's, etc.

Loved the end credit edit too! You're a very creative filmmaker, keep it up.

 

[Scott F]

I'm going to be honest here, so hopefully this isn't taken too terribly, Christopher.

I wasn't feeling this one. This story, it's been played out all too much, only in your case, there's not a lot of backstory for me to get involved or interested in the characters. Nor are there many visuals to support the alleged viral epidemic.

The mockup of the news report was too generic. Better graphics...urgent VO, that could have helped sell it. (Reporters losing it on camera, something like that. Remember the opening scene of Dawn of the Dead? That sh*t was bananas!)

If this was supposed to be a drama, something is missing to make me emotionally involved with this man killing his daughter. I don't know how to achieve it better. I've read that you can create tension by filming into an open door, but not really seeing what is going on inside (Ex-the scene in Pulp Fiction where Eric Stolz is looking for his medical book) Maybe if somehow you got it so that your shot didn't fade to black but you filmed the open doorway, you heard the daughter screaming, a scuffle...then a brutal gunshot. You know I'm just throwing out ideas here.

As it is, it's only a 3 minute film, and it's all just cocking & cleaning of the pistol.

A few people liked the "Daddy why?" line, but I'm not a fan of the repetition.

High marks for nice DOP and some good shots. I would echo the request to change the ratio....more panoramic.

I like the moody, droning music.

1st fest entry....Don't quit! Keep 'em coming, I will try and do the same. You've got a lot of high marks from other posters, so take my comments with a grain of salt. I'm just trying to be as honest as possible with all the films I see.

You said you had considered an ending with a positive news report. I don't think that would have made it "hokey" if handled correctly. Something to think about if you decide to re-edit.

 

[Christopher Blake]

I really wanted to know what he said in reply to "What kind of life is this?", especially since we see him reply, we just don't hear him.

He says "It's called survival." I dropped it cause the voice over was from someone different than the original actor, and it wouldn't have matched.

The problem is that I was asking "Daddy why?" as well. I don't think his decision making process was clear enough for us to really care. If we understood why he had to do it, it would be heartbreaking, instead we don't really get emotionally involved.

Jason,

Thanks for posting your thoughts, I really appreciate it. There is nothing that anyone has said that I disagree with. This was incomplete at best. But I didn't want to not enter.

The biggest hurdle for me was having the courage to enter and take the criticism as it is meant to be, honest feedback. Knowing what I know now, it would have been a much different film.

I think the narration could have been more carefully recorded as I heard a bunch of
'plosions' on the p's, b's, etc.

ZazaCast

I can hear that as well, more time would have helped I am sure, in all regards. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

I'm going to be honest here, so hopefully this isn't taken too terribly, Christopher.

I wasn't feeling this one. This story, it's been played out all too much, only in your case, there's not a lot of backstory for me to get involved or interested in the characters. Nor are there many visuals to support the alleged viral epidemic.

Deepfocus88,

I appreciate the honesty. I will do the same, I was not happy with the way I put this together, went through many edits knowing I didn't have enough footage. There was so much more I could have done with this, but each film I make helps me learn.

1st fest entry....Don't quit! Keep 'em coming, I will try and do the same

Thanks, I look forward to seeing more from you as well. I have no plans to quit, all the feedback has been great. There will certainly be a next one, we are already looking forward to the next fest.

-Chris