Parental Betrayal

Faith Nelson

Faith Nelson

Member
parental-betrayal.jpg

An eleven-year old girl is betrayed,
first by her father
and then by her mother.​

Screenplay by: Faith Friese Nelson​

3 characters: mom, dad, and 10-12 year old girl.​

(Note: The 10-12 year old girl could be a boy, easy to rewrite.​

House Location: (1) kitchen, (2) girl's BR, (3) living room with tv & couch, (4) master bedroom,
(5) closet - must be large enough for an adult to lie down in.​
 
Last edited:
Spoilers!!




Pretty depressing stuff.

For some reason I wanted a better reason for a possible murder suicide to take place.
Yah, they had some serious problems but the outcome after such an incident seemed a little over the top for me to swallow. Maybe it's just me.

I think had there been some spousal abuse going on then I could have gone with it much easier. It just seemed quite drastic considering the circumstances.

I really liked the way you told the story and how you used the daughter as a window for the viewer. Quite clever. I could see that playing out quite well.

What a tragedy. I felt for the little girl.

MAH
 
I somewhat agree with what MAH said about more provocation for Missy to snap. It didn't strike me as a problem on my initial read, but I can see what he means. I took it that there was a long history of these sorts of arguments, and this was just the last one that Missy could handle, but I can't point to any specific thing in the script that led me to this, so it may just be an unwarranted assumption.

(big SPOILERS here) The other thing that I found odd was how Missy twice abandons Cassie, first during her brief attempt at leaving, then when she takes the pills. She doesn't come across elsewhere as trying to ignore Cassie, she mostly seems to be a decent mother if not necessarily Mother of the Year material), so I thought it odd that she would leave Cassie with Ken.

Those issues aside, it does manage to make an impact in six pages, so well done.
 
It felt like a real-life story, but I don't think the mother would have left the daughter for you've
given us no indication that she would. I don't see a betrayal here, maybe it's just me,
but what I see is a murder/suicide. It felt real enough, but not believable in the end.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top