Overcome

Holy saved by a voiceover batman...

Absolutely stunning visuals and music. I was appalled to not see the credits of both the narrator and composer in the ending credits as those were the first two I wanted to see when it finally ended.

I'm not sure this was the fest you needed to submit to. Sure, venturing to the wilderness can be scary and can have some unexpected encounters, but we really didn't see the sheer terror of the cloaked figure. Perhaps he was just a misunderstood blacksmith with a hankering for a couple deep, black and thick cigars? Maybe it was casper the ghost and he just ran into old man jim's coal factor a few miles north to fetch his master a cup of cocoa. I hope you get my point. If I were to believe this cloaked character as scary, i want to see it's wrath so that I can sympathize for the protagonist and feel for his imminent danger. Not because a deep throated grandfather tells me he's bad.

However; the use of the voiceover saved the story because without it, this would have been a disaster. Because of the voiceover I understood the underlying lesson. "Go into battle prepared and equipped for victory". (not blind and stupid)

again, not having credits really urked me. If you took the time to have slow slowing credits, you could have cut out a repeating establishing shot or six to include the rest of your crew who worked so hard on your film. If you did the VFX, sound, Music, edit, CC, DP, and Acting, then please forgive me and I apologize for credits.

Looking forward to seeing your next entry. Perhaps let's see a few character knee deep in dialog as strong as the VO's.

/j
 
nice one ryan,
maybe put a grade on there or shoot everything at twilight to enhance the mood?
Solid effort

edit: sorry I forgot to mention - loved the costumes of the guy reading in the library
 
Yeah! Very good feel to it. The music was great and what a sweet location.
Have to give this one a second viewing. Great job.
 
Thanks for the comments and critiques everyone.

A few things I notice:

The sound (the wind, the crickets) was it the real sound, the sound that was there during recording ? Or did you add it later.
Between the long shot and a closer shot at the beginning I hear a "cut" in sound. The sound suddenly going lower. And also a small "whoos" sound (from wind or so).

You did some Foley also ?

I did cut the sound between shots, it probably is not as subtle as it needs to be in the transition. Sound was a mix of location on camera sound and Soundtrack Pro assets.

The "medium" around 00:32, is it a digital zoom ? Done in your editing program ?

Focal length change. Went from wide end of my kit lens to a tighter framing.

At 00:52, is he turning his head because it's in the script ? Or was he going to turn and shout "is it ok ????" :p (just wondering)

I worked on it all week leading to submission...up until submission. A few last minute changes left mistakes like that throughout.

Wow what a cool narrator voice! And look at that house! Don't tell me you are able to film there?

Its an old historic house...I just filmed some exteriors was all. Didn't even try to get inside. Its on a research campus...

Okay you finally show the actors face at 2:14. So why hide him before?

I didn't realize this flaw until editing. I agree. There was no point to hiding him...just happened due to lack of planning/execution.

2:26 - "A creature" - uhh how about an evil black demon guy - run! Cool effect. He did run, but not like he should have with a demon on his six. Sort of odd - chased, then calm studying.

Agreed.

Story? The flame at 5:06 didn't appear to come from within him. Blasted the bad guy in one shot? Kinda anti-climatic. Good cine - story needs fleshed out. Good entry.

Agreed as well. If nothing else, I will get a writer on my next project.

Absolutely stunning visuals and music. I was appalled to not see the credits of both the narrator and composer in the ending credits as those were the first two I wanted to see when it finally ended.

You're absolutely right. Voiceover was Nick Ellsworth, http://www.nickellsworth.com/ and music was from tracks I licensed by Dynamedion. http://www.dynamedion.de/

I'm not sure this was the fest you needed to submit to. Sure, venturing to the wilderness can be scary and can have some unexpected encounters, but we really didn't see the sheer terror of the cloaked figure. Perhaps he was just a misunderstood blacksmith with a hankering for a couple deep, black and thick cigars? Maybe it was casper the ghost and he just ran into old man jim's coal factor a few miles north to fetch his master a cup of cocoa. I hope you get my point. If I were to believe this cloaked character as scary, i want to see it's wrath so that I can sympathize for the protagonist and feel for his imminent danger. Not because a deep throated grandfather tells me he's bad.

I agree. I really needed to do more here. I simply let time get the better of me. In all phases of production....

again, not having credits really urked me. If you took the time to have slow slowing credits, you could have cut out a repeating establishing shot or six to include the rest of your crew who worked so hard on your film. If you did the VFX, sound, Music, edit, CC, DP, and Acting, then please forgive me and I apologize for credits.

No need for apology, hehe, but I did do the VFX, sound, edit, CC, DP, and was the black figure. I'm embarassed to have left off the voiceover and music from credits. I was rendering that minutes before doing a 1-pass export to upload, I can only attribute it to being frazzled. :-(
 
Just a beautiful film all-around in a storybook way. Smooth narration, beautiful score, thoughtful images, costumes, locations, VFX...it is all just a neat & tidy package.
Very well done Ryan!

BUT... I have to agree that this might not have been the fest for it. I never felt the 'scare'.
Looking forward to all your future films!
 
Nice looking movie. The narration, while good, was way too heavy handed at times. We see him pouring over books.. "I studied!"
It was used far too much as a tool to tell us everything.

This had a very nice look and production value to it. Sounded fine. I really liked the music.
Not scary at all but I think it was enough to suit the theme.

Hoping to see more from you in the next fest.
 
Storybook narration. Yes, the voice sounded very professional. Problem? The voice over told the entire story. Filmmaking is about ACTION not TELLING (same with screenwriting). Cut out the narrator, what do you have? Picturesque setting, nice looking actor, period piece setting, sweet music, but nothing else.

I know you can do better, Ryan. This fell flat to what you are able to bring to the table. You spent so much time on music, FX (which was just okay for me), setting that you forgot the most important thing - STORY!!!

With all of that, you could have had something amazing. I did not go for this one, sorry.
 
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This had a nice look to it, very dreamy and "out of the past."
The house wss cool and very picturesque, but after the nineteenth shot of it I was getting bored.
Very good voice to the narrator, but the narration content was plodding and all too obvious at times with him telling us what we are already seeing on the screen.
The worst part of the narration was when you give away the ending before the climactic battle, the narrator/protagonist tells us he's going to win before the fact.
I kinda of liked the villain in black, but he made my wife laugh when she watched it.
I really liked the photography, the sky shots, the grading and the overall feel.
This really needs to be cut down and paced correctly - it's too long.

Beautiful looking film. Nice job.
 
Thanks for the comments guys. I couldn't agree more with most of them. As much as I feel like I have some robust technical skills, story telling and writing are definitely areas I need to improve or collaborate on.
 
The narration was flipping fantastic! The overall feeling of the film was very cinematic (Think I would have used a few more dolly shots). Some spiffy effects and also you had some really nice music for this one! the only thing I would have changed would be maybe a few dolly shots, and some neat color grading (something fantast-ish like gold) Overall I really really liked it a lot, probably in my top 3. A solid 9/10!
 
Ryan, you have some really nice production value in Overcome. I love the location, the costumes, the score and the overall concept.
Noone has pointed out yet, the great narration. :) I love establishing shots, and you have about 4 minutes worth! Your cinematography is beautiful as well as the editing of the house, clouds, landscapes etc.

When the black cloaked bad guy appears the first time, it would have been more intense had he started shooting black thunderbolts at our hero as our hero runs through the woods. The black thunderbolts exploding around him until he makes his way to safety.

Then when our hero studies, maybe we see him not only reading books, but practicing and developing his powers. Maybe in one of the books, the hero reads a special "trick" on how to ward off evil. By trick i mean Mr. Miagi's crane kick, or Stallone's secret arm wrestling technique in "over the top".

Then when the two meet at the end, they both unleash their magic upon each other. the black cloaked bad guy is too powerful and is about to kill the good guy, but the good guy uses his special magical technique to turn the tides at the last second and defeats the bad guy.

What I'm getting at is, next time, write your story, but then go back to it and say "how can i make this more intense, what can i add to make this connect more?"

the story here, despite the great narration, felt like a first draft.

I really liked your short though, not trying to be harsh, just trying to help!
 
I quite liked this entry Ryan, i think some of the room for improvement some have identified has already been discussed! So i'll try to be brief! (try!!)

I liked the elegance and otherworldlyness of the film, this is not the kind of film you normally see entered in dvx, - this is actually cinematic, for its shots and choice of location and traditional production value. It feels epic and it looks epic and heck with the dude's voice over it even sounds

EPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCC!

I've always been a fan of Lovecraftian fiction, and occult horror etc, and I was quite delighted with the historical metaphysical take in the story. Looking a bit like Barry Lyndon with a hint of Daaagon (or could it!!!)

Well maybe not Dagon - i think where this film very bizarrely struggles is with the appearance and disappearance of your hooded figure (its not a euphonism i meant your monster) no no i meant...

The black robed figure with mysterious smoke - now...

I'm imagining you blowing the dust off your faithful copy of the Necromonicon... imagining that foggy estates of lands lost to time and memory, of arcane mysteries and dark dealings.... and then WHAM!!!! In between God and a can of Doctor Pepper, you decide....

THE MONSTER IS GONNA DRESS IN BLACK AND MAKE SOME SMOKE AND WALK KINDA SLOW WITH NO DISCNERNABLE SENSE OF THREAT!

That's even more audacious than Andy Warhol's Empire, except that film moved faster than this movies villain!

This is where your film failed to create any suspense (for me) and left me kind of quizzical when we saw the monster again (with no suspense) only to find him well easily defeated.

Other than that your film was lovely, nicely written, had a good story arc etc etc.

The craftsmanship though for building a scene of suspense was just absent - I wonder though if you could not perhaps just edit out the smoke... let the shots linger and utilise some awseome sound design....

wait i sense a link coming.... First part of an awseome supernatural thriller you can't get on DVD which i reckon might have some scenes that might inspire a helpful re-edit for your monster!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6jAM-aQLbc
 
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