"Nothing To Owe" - A martial arts action short

j.nguyen

j.nguyen

Active member
This is a short film a friend and I made. It was shot on a panasonic dvc30. I've recently upgraded to the a1 however. Anyways check it out and let me know what you guys think of it! Feedback is greatly appreciated and feel free to ask me any questions you might have.

http://www.vimeo.com/1612715
 
Very cool. I really enjoyed the choreography. What style is it?

Going to be honest here. Now, unfortunately, I felt the rest was a bit lacking.

We're you trying to make it cheesy? Because it did come off a bit that way. The moment when he asked the guy if he recognized the guy in the photo "it's my brother!" just before he beats him up. Then he has to do that classic cheesy move of taking out the photo and throwing it to the ground. I almost expected a slo-mo shot of the picture falling down and for him to say something cheesy like "now you remember him?" At least it didn't go that far. And the whole talk of "you don't owe me anything" just came off as cheesy as well.

Story was so so. I mean what can you really do with an action short right? But the "killed a member of my family" story has been sucked dry IMHO. The police thing at the end was a nice twist though. Also a few things that didn't make much sense. For example, why is he looking at a photo of his brother at a bar? A bit cliché? Does he need to really look at it to remember him? Does he really want to take it out for the world to see?

Editing was also so so. In fact at times it wasn't all too great. Let me first say thank you for not cutting in the Hollywood style where they think if you're not having a seizure during a fight scene, it's not cut right. I think the fight scenes gave us a nice view of the choreography and I could really say ooh, ahhh, ouch, rather than "was that his fist or his foot? Did he just hit him or are they making out?". So good on you for that.

HOWEVER, the rest was a bit poorly cut together. At times there were far too quick fades or cross-dissolves when it wasn't needed. You do a fade or cross-dissolve, it has to be long and smooth (unless you really know what you're doing), and it has to fit the moment. Also, when you have a conversation between two people, try to avoid cutting to the other person before they say their line unless there's something you want to show. It doesn't have to be "cut to him when he talks, cut to her when she talks, etc." mix it up a bit, let him start talking before you cut to him.

The acting was probably the poorest aspect. sorry to say, but that girl was really bad. Don't blame them only though, it's also about direction. Learn to direct your actors. Don't let a scene become too cheesy or over-dramatic, which happened a lot.

One of the better aspects, aside from choreography, was cinematography. I felt it really stood out. Some shots I just though "that looks cool". Very good job for that. A lot of really beautiful colors throughout the whole thing. Favorite shot was when that guy said that funny/cool line, "I'm already there" at about 6:11. And it dolleys out to the side as he runs off to reveal the main character waiting.

A small thing on the choreography. Although great, the powder felt a bit too over the top. I get it's for the classic kung fu look, but it wasn't consistant, sometimes there was power (and a lot of it) and sometimes there wasn't, so it didn't work for me. Either tone it down and do it all the time, or not at all. I mean at times it looked like their faces needed a good wash because it would explode with dust...

Anyways, good job though. I did enjoy it, but work on thsoe aspects of the film that were lacking behind. If you do everything as good as your choreography and cinematography, this would be an amazing film.
 
thanks! and yes we were trying to make it like a cheesy action film. Really it was a thinly narrated film in order to string together fight scenes. haha We viewed this short as more of test of our action filmmaking.

Thanks for the notes, especially the editing ones, I'm actually fairly new to it. I'm normally just the director/cinematographer but I'm trying my hand at a little bit of everything now.
 
Looked great! The other poster is right - your cinematography looked very nice and your locations had character as well. Your fight scenes were smooth - not over cut MTV style like most of today's action pieces. You can check out our short here:

www.zombiehuntermovie.com

Good luck on your next project and check out the user films section for our new project, a western short called "A Chestful of Blood".
 
Very cool little action short.

I liked alot of the cinematography even though i thought the first minute or so was too dark, i know you wanted it to be dark but it was hard for me to really even tell what was going on.

Overall i thought you did a good job shooting this

The fight scenes were surprisingly good.

The acting was a bit subpar, and some of the sound effects didnt sound quite right where as others sounded right on.

But with all that said, Overall i thought this was pretty good i enjoyed it good work.
 
I think the story could be developed into a feature. The script would need a little polish and better actors would be needed but I liked the lead, keep him and the "I'm already here" guy. He shouldn't be as corny, but he delivered the heck out of that one line. The girl's cute but not the greatest actress, as a matter of fact she's very distracting. I'm going to disagree with Jon, though, I like your fight editing. The other stuff was decent enough.

-Nate
 
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Nathyn said:
I'm going to disagree with Jon, though, I like your fight editing.
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:huh:

I didn't say that. In fact I said the complete opposite. Therefore you do agree?

I just felt the editing for the rest of the film wasn't the best. For the fight scenes I liked that he avoided the seizure cutting that hollywood is known for.


Also as a feature? Really? I mean no offense, but the "you killed my [insert family member name] and I want revenge" is a bit strung out. Anyways, to each their own.
 
Jon Starr said:
:huh:

I didn't say that. In fact I said the complete opposite. Therefore you do agree?

I just felt the editing for the rest of the film wasn't the best. For the fight scenes I liked that he avoided the seizure cutting that hollywood is known for.
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I read that wrong.

Jon Starr said:
Also as a feature? Really? I mean no offense, but the "you killed my [insert family member name] and I want revenge" is a bit strung out. Anyways, to each their own.
Click to expand...

But that's the point. It's a martial arts film. That's part of the genre. The twist at the end is nice. Romeo Must Die, used this plot and so do many others. Since people don't get tired of seeing it, it's good for a feature. Straight to DVD or for cable but who cares as long as it's a good flick.

-Nate
 
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j.nguyen said:
This is a short film a friend and I made. It was shot on a panasonic dvc30. I've recently upgraded to the a1 however. Anyways check it out and let me know what you guys think of it! Feedback is greatly appreciated and feel free to ask me any questions you might have.

http://www.vimeo.com/1612715
Click to expand...

Hey! I liked it. overall yes there were the technical problems, that everyone pointed out. but I think the "art" is there and that's the most importaint thing. It's the thing that no one who is not born with it can create.

My Qs are the following: How Old Are You guys? Who did the Choreography? (both of you?) Where are you guys located? Are you in school for movies?
 
jls4 said:
My Qs are the following: How Old Are You guys? Who did the Choreography? (both of you?) Where are you guys located? Are you in school for movies?
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I'd just like to thank everyone first for taking the time to watch my short!

To answer your question: I'm 21 as are most of the people in the short.
The Choreography was done mostly by me, Vincent (the knife guy), and Soken (the main character).
Currently, we all go to the University of California, Irvine. Soken, Vincent, and I are actually film majors here. We're located in orange county (southern california), though I'm from the San Francisco Bay Area.

A little more info about the short: We did the whole thing in a matter of 5 or so days, balancing school and work, etc. It wasn't intended for any school project or anything of the sort, really we just made it to make it. We made the pipes by spray painting pvc, and the dummy knives were made out of wood. All the actors are just friends of mine, so obviously we aren't the greatest. And we pretty much tried to make it typical bad cliche action movie, because who doesn't love those?
Also I'm the guy getting kicked in the head you see in the end.

I also am considering entering twilight fest, but am too lazy to start a thread for it haha.

- Justin
 
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Well I like what you did. Depending on where I am next year with my next movie, I may see about flying you guys here to Atlanta to do some fight choreography for me. (If I get the money - that's the hard part) I really want to do an action film. I can handle the actors, lighting, camera and audio. That's no biggie for me now, but I do need a choreographer. I think the fighting skills are great, the tech skills can easily be fixed with money or someone with know how - your strong suit is the choreography.
 
wow I'm flattered. Choreography is all about knowing what your actors are capable of and what they are comfortable with. I'd like to take all the credit for the choreography. but it was a group effort.

I've got another short martial actions film in the works. hopefully it'll be shot sometime within the next few months. I'm just trying my hand at different genres right now, hopefully i'll improve with my direction and editing..
 
j.nguyen said:
wow I'm flattered. Choreography is all about knowing what your actors are capable of and what they are comfortable with. I'd like to take all the credit for the choreography. but it was a group effort.

I've got another short martial actions film in the works. hopefully it'll be shot sometime within the next few months. I'm just trying my hand at different genres right now, hopefully i'll improve with my direction and editing..
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Well don't be surprised if I call/pm you. Make sure you keep those communication lines open. :D
 
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