New canon a1 short movie.

reem12

reem12

Veteran
Hi everyone,just completed a short with the canon a1.tried my hand at my first project a year and a half ago but it fail through.this will be my first written and completed project.if you could please give me your honest opinion to what you think i'd appreciate it.this is a low quality version so if someone could host a bigger file i'd love to display it. i cut out some of the beggining and some of the very end to shorten it just a little.thanks for viewing.http://download.yousendit.com/B99B4E407EE57167
 
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I really liked the shot of the futon. Very nice.

Through out the lighting was very even and not distracting as it is on many projects. Though, I'd say artistically the indoor light rooms aren't my favorite. The mood you set through the story feels different then the mood I get from the photography.

Some of the editing in dialogue seemed, in no other words, edited. Apparent that you used 1 camera for different angles, and cut different angles from different run-throughs of the scene together. So, dialogue between any two characters feels disconnected, like they aren't talking to each other, but at each other.

Take a look at this movie, made by Dammitjanet here, another A1 user on the board. When he posted it, I believe the general population here would have believed that it was shot with two cameras if he told us so, but he says it was just one. Watch some of the techniques he uses. As someone finishes talking, or in the middle of a longer lines (the guy goes on for a bit sometimes), he goes behind the speaking actor, sees the reaction of the girl while he still speaks, finishing, then the girl is on camera already for her own line. Going the other way, after the girl speaks and the camera remains on her with the guy out of focus on the side of the frame, he begins to speak for just a short half second, and then it cuts to behind the girl onto him. Having those moments where two characters speak from one cut or angle ties all the lines from a conversational dialogue together. You capture the interchanges well during the adoption counselor meeting, but the necklace scene, the Ms. Torre conversation scene in some cuts, and Lenny scenes are a little disconnected.

Also, pull back a little bit when you're showing the 2nd person out of focus in the foreground. When get a little bit of their head a shoulders. During the interview and necklace scenes, you're cutting the person off at the jaw and sometimes just a small fraction of the side of their head. I know this happens because you're trying to get right up in the face of the speaker, but for me, it feels like the counselor's ear or the Dad's ear is just poking off the edge of the screen. Maybe it's just me, though.

Good thing is that if you care to, you can fix it up in editing, so all your footage is still good and usable.

I really liked the girl that plays Angie. When she does her angelic-type lines she really makes me believe her.

I like what you got done, and I'd like to see the scenes the sandwich these. I'm bored at work, I need something to do. And I tend to go on a bit and nitpick, by the way.
 
Holy crap, it never seems like you write so much when you only see what's in the small text box.
 
I thought it was a very good effort. I didn't mind the interior lighting so much but just watch your shadows. For instance, when the kids are saying goodbye to each other, you have a strong motivational light coming from one direction yet the shadow on the wall is suggesting it's coming from another...

I thought the story was good. It was a little "cutesy" but there's nothing wrong with that. The editing was pretty good and I felt like the story was moving well. A story like this, in my opinion, needs stellar acting, otherwise there is too much attention paid to the players and their performance. Although all the actors did a good job, I didn't get the sense they had a lot of experience in front of a camera and that made me feel like I was watching an amateur effort the whole time.

I liked the general direction of the story but it didn't have any impact for me. It was lacking that "aha" moment or that shiver up your spine realization. The story, for me, had plenty of potential to go in that direction.

Your film also suffered from what I dread the most in short films - a really weak and abrupt ending. Sometimes my wife and I laugh when we watch Star Trek and there's 3 minutes to go till the end and there is still so much to wrap up. The writers are masters at sewing up every loose end swiftly so that the audience has a feeling of closure and satisfaction. Your ending felt like the story was just beginning to take off...do you know what I mean?

I cannot criticize your film too much because there is a lot you did right and it was a relatively complex idea to tackle for the few minutes you told the story. Accolades to you for getting off your butt and doing something worthwhile. I'm looking forward to seeing how you progress in your next project.
 
Disjecta, he said that he cut off some from the beginning and end to keep the file size down. This should be a crime, but that is your abrupt ending. I figure there's a little bit more conclusion.
 
Thank you guys for all the costructive feed back.i'm now in the process of uploading the end of the movie.disjecta i'm completely aware of the shadow you mentioned with the goodby scene with the little girls, but we had to rush alot of the shots due to location restraints.i had no budget so i basicly took what i could get by not altering the lights,which was the main time hog also you are very right about the lack of eperience in front of the camera,but for the little girls first time ever before a camera i think they did a pretty decent job.My goal as an aspiring director is to find talent with not a whole lot of eperience but a whole lot of passion and drive and grow along with the talent as a director.
 
I thought that was exceptional for a first project.
It aint my kind of story - it was so cheesy I put on ten pounds just watching it... but I thought it was filmed particularly well.
 
No doubt, i'ts definitly cheesy and realy not my type of movie either but i thought it be nice to explore a different style of writing and give my kids something to look at without having to cut out every other curse word.thanks for the kind words.oh, by the way this is actualy not my first project but my first written script and my first completed project.
 
Hi Reem,

First off, cudos for the awesome video - I loved it and it had me yearning for more! The music mix was tops and really helped set the mood - what were the songs and where did you get them? (if not royalty-free, etc, please disregard question)

The voice quality was excellent, but not quite consistent. Did you use the same mic, use different distances (proximity effect), ADR, etc? The difference in resonance (deep voice - greater frequency response) was checkered running from 0:20-0:30 between the talent. I'm fairly certain your problem is proximity effect since I hear the same problem by "bad daddy" near the end: notice the difference in resonance at 10:00 and 10:30 (much more resonant). At the outside scene (6:00), I assume you used an on-camera mic, which had noticeable rumble when the gain was turned up in post.

Your camera work was very solid and the editing was fine (except for a few disjoined shots like the leaf on the grass at 3:30). Back to bad daddy scene at 10:00, I liked the lighting/filter - perhaps the scene would be even more dramtic using Point Of View. BTW, I loved the dog-tags on bad daddy - how about adding some irony showing grown up son Lenny wearing dog-tags, too?

Okay Reem - I simply gotta see the rest of your film...

Congratulations, Michael
 
thanks moonitnite for the feedback.i've uploaded the ending version if anyone cares to download again.the endings not a whole lo more but it does give some closure.also i'm still tweeking a little so i'm taking in consideration everyones input.your input will only make me a better filmaker.thank you guys.
 
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Many thanks for including the ending (loved the feather and beam of light)! My hat's off to everyone - great acting, and I can we can especially appreciate Lakeeba's efforts. Please give my two thumbs-up to Jace Vek - totally rad music score!!!

FYI - on the credits, there's a typo for Jace's company:
Shows:
http://www.kingfishworlwide.com/

Should include the letter "d" on world:
http://www.kingfishworldwide.com/ (easy enough to deduce)

Keep 'em coming, dude! Michael
 
I loved it... The only suggestion that I would offer, if time actually allowed, is to use a couple of dolly or trucking shots to add emphasis to a character... I think it was outstandingly done considering the budget and time constraints...
 
I thought it was well done. The acting and editing were very well done. The story did not have much depth to it. But you definately have some talent there.
 
reem12 said:
Hi everyone,just completed a short with the canon a1.tried my hand at my first project a year and a half ago but it fail through.this will be my first written and completed project.if you could please give me your honest opinion to what you think i'd appreciate it.this is a low quality version so if someone could host a bigger file i'd love to display it. i cut out some of the beggining and some of the very end to shorten it just a little.thanks for viewing.http://download.yousendit.com/B99B4E407EE57167
Click to expand...

Beautiful footage. What were the settings of the XH A1? Did you shoot in HD? Did you edit in HD or downconvert to DV on capture to your computer? What computer are you using and what are your computer specs ? What software are you using? Thanks and really nice work.
Bill
 
Thanks Bballis for the complement.I shot this and edited this project in hd and down converted in final cut pro using a powermac g5 dual processor 2gig.The camera settings were pretty flat but did some color corection in final cut pro 5.I'll try and post a better and higher quality version of this short tommorow.Thanks again for the comliment.
 
reem12 said:
Thanks Bballis for the complement.I shot this and edited this project in hd and down converted in final cut pro using a powermac g5 dual processor 2gig.The camera settings were pretty flat but did some color corection in final cut pro 5.I'll try and post a better and higher quality version of this short tommorow.Thanks again for the comliment.
Click to expand...

Hey Lakeeba,
Thanks for your specs. I have a G4 dual 1Gh and I'm wondering if it can handle the HDV in FCPro. Also, I'd love to see some raw footage of the project so I could play it on an HDTV set. Can you upload it to a free FTP site like Filezilla.com or smartftp.com? I think they are free, or maybe google "free ftp sites" Even a gigabyte or whatever you can . I burned the Quicktime movie you posted and played it on a 42 inch HDTV, and it looked pretty good, but it was only a 60MB file. Whatever you could do would be great. I'm trying to decide if I'm going to buy the A1 to use for pilots made for broadcast, that's why I'm asking for the footage. If anyone else knows of some raw footage from the Canon XH A1, please let me know.
Thanks again, and keep on keepin' on,
Bill
 
Nice acting and nice score :)
Just didn't get why the homeless guy was staring at the guy on the bike.
Hope to hear the answer from you.

Good effort ;)
 
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