Movie dialogue that should be retired.

Not dialogue but...
"Directed by George Lucas" I hope that never gets used again.
Sometimes I think people like Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Tu Pac are lucky (yes I used him in the same breath); you die at your peak and leave an unquestionable legacy. Not saying I wish Lucas was dead, I think he just needs to produce and leave Writing and Directing to... I don't know, some one with a "human" perspective on emotion.
 
How about the bloody irritating "you better come take a look at this" heard that in countless movies.
 
Not dialogue but...
"Directed by George Lucas" I hope that never gets used again.

Amen to that.


Also not dialogue but...
Watching "Lost" a couple weeks ago as Sawyer stares hatefully into the mirror at himself.

I'm saying out loud "Don't do it! Don't do it!"

-Sawyer punches the mirror.

"You did it..." *sigh*

The SAG should impose hefty fines for (over)using that.
 
SLAMDANCE's Dear Filmmakers: Please Stop Doing This from the Jan 2009 festival.

They also posted that they programmed several films that did these things that year, some of which, were their favorites. So take these with a grain of salt. They may be over used. But they may still have a place. Like most of the lines we're posting.

Two of the folks mentioned below were Juror's for Betrayal Fest - Paul Sbrizzi, Slamdance Shorts programmer and Christopher Holland who wrote Film Festival Secrets.
SLAMDANCE FILM FESTIVAL BLOG 12/3/2008 said:
Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Dear Filmmakers: Please Stop Doing This (Part 2)
Paul Sbrizzi was changing out DVDs yesterday, as we've hit the fast and furious point with programming and are quick on the heels of our final deliberation meetings. Paul helps run our shorts meetings, is an alumni filmmaker himself and also does a shi* ton of our design work. But most impressively, Paul has seen over 1,000 of the short film submissions. ONE THOUSAND FILMS.

Anywho, we got to talking about the things that are making us want to stab out our eyes at this point of the process. We came up with a quick list of Movie Moments that keep making repeat appearances in different submissions, all of which drive us crazy. So I give you a Part 2 plea of "please stop doing this":

1. The shot from the ceiling, through the rotating fan blades. We get it. It's muggy and tense, or time itself is stagnant, and those blades looks both atmospheric and ambitious. You know who else got it? About 382 other directors. Sorry - buzzkill, we know.

2. Bolting upright into a seated position from a deep slumber, generally awoken by a nightmare of sorts. Of course, this is part of one of my favorite elements of programming - not the bolting upright, but the conversation starter. "Hey, random friend/family member/co-worker, have you ever in your life woken up from a deep sleep by sitting straight up in bed? Yeah, like from a nightmare? Really, not even once? Do you know anyone who has? Hm. Me neither." It's a fine line, the blending the interesting/filmic with the realistic, but I think that Allison Dubois has a patent on this move, anyway.

3. Oooh, this is my favorite - those long, extended moments where characters stare down their reflection in the mirror and emote like they've never emoted to their own image before. This kind of falls in line with bolting upright from sleep, in that I don't know anyone who's ever done it* but I also get the artistic possibilities here. However, in most instances, it isn't executed well enough to balance it out, so think twice before putting your starlet in her cutest sleepwear and having her stare herself down with her eyes tearing up in a slow build, or asking your leading man to repeatedly call himself stupid as he gazes into his own eyes, fist pumping against the mirror. It hurts me.

4. This is Paul's favorite! And like the previous two, it made the list because people effing love to put this in films but no one does it in real life... stroking the picture of a loved one. What the whaaa? Have you ever done that? Gone home and just gently caressed a photo on your fridge, or pulled out that pic of your dead dog from your wallet and traced around his dead little head? No. No you haven't. I almost cheer when I see this in movies now, it makes me kind of happy... so maybe it is working on some level.

SLAMDANCE FILM FESTIVAL BLOG 12/3/2008 said:
Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Dear Filmmakers: Please Stop Doing This (Part 4)
I've been enjoying the comments and messages about people who have recently been happily engaged in a film, only to snort to themselves when they see a character stroking a photograph, bolting up from a deep sleep, or staring at their own reflection in the mirror. I told you so, nah nah, snarky snarky. It's everywhere! Of course, I also gleefully acknowledge that many times these stand-bys are well utilized in really great films - and I'm sure to keep my eyes open for them, forever and ever, amend.

Now I have even more to throw your way, and the exciting difference this time around is that I didn't have to come up with this list myself... it's from "Film Festival Secrets: A Handbook for Independent Filmmakers" - available from Amazon.com or download the PDF for free at filmfestivalsecrets.com/book.

Sweet plug aside (and there are tons of goodies in there plus a thank-you to me which is worth its weight in free download), I guarantee that you will have to cry uncle over either using some of these yourselves or having seen them (well done or not) elsewhere. The preface in the book states that these are from a (non-Slamdance) programmer named Linda, who compiled this as a "'Checklist for Art Film Viewing,' where 'Art Film' is not a complimentary term".

- Someone is rudely awakened by an alarm or outside noise or knocking. Preferably the person is twenty-something and looks like they have shouldered the world's troubles… or just drank too much last night. Sometimes the film goes on to chronicle the subject's entire morning routine – a cliché that simply should be skipped most of the time. (Drea here... man, that's tricky. We have a lot of films that start this way, but sometimes this banal opening is the intention to establish a very de rigeur tone. However, I never thought I'd see this many people rub their eyes/pee/brush their teeth in my life. Who knew?)

- Someone says 'shut the poo poo up.'

- People walk down a sidewalk with a backdrop of colorful graffiti.

- A scene in a convenience store switches to security camera footage.

- Someone sits at a bar smoking and drinking shots or martinis while a worldly-wise bartender waits on them. Extra points if the bartender is wiping down the bar with a rag.

- Someone points a gun at someone. Preferably while saying 'shut the poo poo up.'

- Someone takes a leak. Preferably outdoors. Points if urine stream goes astray.

- Someone answers a phone only to be hung up on. ('Shut the poo poo up.')

- Someone tosses a portable phone or cell phone in disgust at the call received. Points for throwing it out the window of a moving car.

- A profound quote is displayed on the screen. (Drea again... this I have to comment about, as it's really tricky. Sometimes the quote at the beginning is ironic, sometimes it truly does have a tone to establish or a thought to provoke, and sometimes it leans towards the pretentious. I might have to do more research on this: most widely used quotes to start movies, that sort of thing. K, thanks.)

- Someone takes a shower or brushes teeth. Preferably while someone else uses the toilet. Someone vomits, particularly as a precursor to finding out she is pregnant.

- Camera pans up into trees to denote passing of time or space.

- Camera pans down to shoes to denote passing of time or space. Preferably shoes are Chuck Taylors.

- We realize it was all a dream.

- Someone goes to a party only to retreat outside in a funk while everyone else gets completely drunk. (Me again... there is another version of this, and it's the dude who is able to retreat into a funk in the middle of the party, a la Garden State. Confession: one of my favorite films that missed by a sliver this year had a scene like this, so if you're out there and you did this, it DID work like you meant!)

- Someone tries on different outfits in front of a mirror while also trying out dance moves for the party to come.

- Someone sits in a cube farm pretending to work. Points for abuse of office supplies.
3:44 AM 9 Comments(Add Comment) |11 KudosTranslate
 
Stupid phone tricks are a staple.

When you get hung up on, it doesn't go back to dial tone.

No amount of tapping on the receiver will ever reconnect the call (who would even think it would?).

This is especially silly when it's done with cell phones.



Others -- the classic pan across a cluttered table -- OOH! -- it's a GUN! EDGY!

Or, pointing a gun and screaming at someone tied to a chair. Double-down if it's the very first shot of the film.
 
How about the bloody irritating "you better come take a look at this" heard that in countless movies.

Oh yeah, I seriously shudder whenever that line is spoken.

And, to the annoying phone gags, I hate how they NEVER say "good-bye" when they hang up. They don't even say a version of it. No, "talk to you later", "see you around", "gotta go", nothing. It's just, "You and Mason had better be there at five!" *CLICK*

But this, for me, is the queen mother of over-used lines in all of Cinema...."your ego is writing checks that your body can't cash."
 
NCIS - with all due respect
Bones - with all due respect
House - with all due respect
Army wives - with all due respect
SVU - with all due respect
Closer - with all due respect

etc, etc, etc, - every freakin' show.... with all due respect.... tired of it.
 
Uncomfortable public speaker taps on the microphone and it unfailingly feeds back. How does the sound system know? Spooky!
 
Perhaps we can put together a script that incorporated EVERYTHING from this thread..."oh, the humanity...":Drogar-Happy(DBG):
 
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