Just One Night - Short erotic thriller

M

mikewest13

Well-known member
Hey guys,

we've just recently wrapped a new short movie; a light erotic thriller. If you have a minute please watch this almost finished version of the trailer and tell us what you think before we send it off to a bunch of movie sites. Your input would be appreciated. Thank you

Mike West

www.roadragefilms.com/jontrailer.html

Just One Night

What would you give for just one night with a beautiful woman?
Be careful how you answer that cause it might come true!

2 Married friends are about to discover what "Just One Night" , and a beautiful woman in a bar will mean for their friendship, marriages and health.
In a story of deceit, lies and sexual fantasies, who will come out on top.

Infidelity KILLS!
 
Well... it got my attention enough to watch.

I would spruce up the graphics a bit... and the audio where he is talking to the "friend".

The production value looks good hopefully the story matches.

What is the running time?

Do you have a rough cut you want to post for us to check out?
 
Which graphics do you mean?

And which audio part?

The story is very twisty and grabbing for sure... it was hard to cut this without giving away too much in fact.

I haven't cut this yet... Just the trailer, we just wrapped a couple of weeks ago. The running time will be 22 mins though... we're going to try to pitch this to TV as a 30 min spot.

Any other suggestions?
 
Graphics. Just the last one. 1:43:02 "Just One Night."

It was a bit thin and didn't match the production value of your work. The color is right. It just needs some detention to it. It should be "Movie Poster" quality. I know it's not your one sheet but it has that type of dramatic importance in your presentation of it.

Dialog:

"How about the deluxe."

Voice Over at 1:19:00.... just doesn't match the he just found a dead hooker or whatever.

He doesn't really sound angry. He sounds like he is reading.


I do want to see you movie.

Don't get me wrong.

I means these as nothing more than constructive criticisms and I am just one guy.

Others might have a much different opinion.
 
only taken as constructive, no worries :)

I'm still trying to work out a logo for the movie title.... So its a work in progress still... but i agree with you there

you reference two pieces of dialogue, which did you think needed work? I could use another take if necessary.
 
His line... "How about the deluxe..." sounded off but I would have to see the whole movie to see how it worked. It might just be the way he sounds.

The over where is he's talking about his wife cheating at 1:19:00 just sounds like he reading.

Again.. I would have to see the whole thing to be sure. These are just my impressions of the trailer.
 
ok.... i see what you mean.... the context in which he says that in relation to the scene is different than it sounds so i'll have o see if another take sounds better....

thank you
 
I like a lot of the shots. Whatever 35mm adapter you were using really added to the production values. I agree with the audio as well, right around 1 min 19 sec when he's on the phone the audio is very thin.
 
I'll find another take of that scene..... thanks (by thin i mean not convincing?)

We used 2 HVX200's and red rocks with Nikon lenses. This was shot over 2 days (2 separate days.
 
I would up the tempo a bit as it moves along and think about using a professional voiceover (female even?) to give it some zing and to help build tension. Try Voiceover123.com for a try. The hardest parts for me were the overly dark shots (especially the stocking pull-on) and the low audio.

I've watched it several times now. You might try taking the first cut of the girl in the shower and putting it where the next shot of her is when she is putting on the stocking. Then remove the next shot of her that shows the candles and use the one you just cut (thereby leaving out the more closeup shot). For the first cut, could I suggest a slow dolley past a nightstand or small table with a happy picture of the married couple together? Might help give some sympathy to the "betrayed." Haven't seen the movie so I'm anxious to find out what happens!

Sorry if I got carried away with ideas. You are ten steps ahead of many of us and I hope to get to that point this year. BTW, what adapter did you use? I just rec'd my Letus Exteme a few weeks ago but haven't had a chance to do more than testing. What lenses do you use?

Good luck!
 
Easy thing to do on audio is to re-record the dialog to give it more depth. Just put the dialog in a wave file and let the actor repeat it. Then put it in a separate track and blend it in.

Mark
 
we've already wrapped so a new shot might be hard to get......

I'm changing the take of him on the phone right now to see if that helps.

I thought of upping the pace in the end but don't want to be too "cliche"

and we used a red rock on the HVX 200
 
mikewest13 said:
I thought of upping the pace in the end but don't want to be too "cliche"
Click to expand...

Don't turn away from an idea just because it's been done before. It's been done a lot because it works. And the trailer is where it needs to just WORK.

The idea of the movie is what should be unique about the trailer, the style of the trailer itself should be, in my opinion, mostly consistent with the genre of movie. Unless you're movie is like The Fountain or 2001, the unique style of the movie probably isn't going to come through in under 2 minutes. You want to make people want to see the movie, and then in the movie show them all your unique ideas.

In a good 2 minute trailer I usually walk away with an idea of the plot, the genre, and if the acting will be decent or not.

My opinion anyway.
 
You definately have some good shots in there. Especially the shots that involve the female in the beginning. Very compelling and intriguing (referring to the close-ups). I do agree with the guys about the audio too though. Can't wait the see the whole thing. Keep us posted.
 
I'm going to do another version of the trailer as its too hard to get one trailer to please everyone.... (that wasn't meant to be rude btw)

I'm going to have my audio guy fix that for me :)
 
It seemed a bit slow for me. Watch it with the sound off and if it still keeps you into it, then you know you have a hit trailer!
 
Which is why i'm going to cut a "faster" more intriguing trailer... I like the tip on watching without sound, thanks
 
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