"Insurance" by smelni
- Thread starter smelni
- Start date
mikkowilson
Steadi-Guru
Good stuff, very sci-fi story with a good twist.
A lot of detail (photos with and without girl) and care put into this one.
Hoever for some crtique: you continuety suffered. The girl was missing form the floor in many of the shots, and your blod seeme dot move around too.
I enjoyed it thouhg, and it had a neat look to it too. Very mystrious.
- Mikko
A lot of detail (photos with and without girl) and care put into this one.
Hoever for some crtique: you continuety suffered. The girl was missing form the floor in many of the shots, and your blod seeme dot move around too.
I enjoyed it thouhg, and it had a neat look to it too. Very mystrious.
- Mikko
Insurance
Insurance
Everything looked great to me...camera work, editing, etc.
The blood continuity was noticable but did'nt pull me out of the story. I allways keep a dig camera with my kit to snap a few photos when makeup or wardrobe can be tricky.
The problem I had was mostly with the acting. They did'nt seem to be much of a couple - in love - when they got home...the acting was apparent. And he did'nt seem to be to broken up when he discovered her body next to his or that she would'nt be healed. I'de be a really upset if my wife/girlfriend was laying next to me bleading and out cold.
One tiny note on the stoy...I would have left out the photo of the man alone on the bench. I had all the information I needed by seeing him come home alone with the bags of groceries. I got the movie. But seeing the photo rubbed me the wrong way. I don't know many men who have a photo of themselves in their house. I thought the photo of the couple was a great forshadowing of the "in love" montage. Maybe that final touch, the photo of the man on the bench alone, was too obvious for me.
How did you like the 35mm adapter you used?
What lenses did you use?
Insurance
Everything looked great to me...camera work, editing, etc.
The blood continuity was noticable but did'nt pull me out of the story. I allways keep a dig camera with my kit to snap a few photos when makeup or wardrobe can be tricky.
The problem I had was mostly with the acting. They did'nt seem to be much of a couple - in love - when they got home...the acting was apparent. And he did'nt seem to be to broken up when he discovered her body next to his or that she would'nt be healed. I'de be a really upset if my wife/girlfriend was laying next to me bleading and out cold.
One tiny note on the stoy...I would have left out the photo of the man alone on the bench. I had all the information I needed by seeing him come home alone with the bags of groceries. I got the movie. But seeing the photo rubbed me the wrong way. I don't know many men who have a photo of themselves in their house. I thought the photo of the couple was a great forshadowing of the "in love" montage. Maybe that final touch, the photo of the man on the bench alone, was too obvious for me.
How did you like the 35mm adapter you used?
What lenses did you use?
smelni
Veteran
thanks for the comments.
AS for the photo - it was supposed to show that she was removed from all aspects of his life - not that he had a photo of himself - rather that she was removed from the photo - maybe it just wasnt clear enough.
I loved using the adapter but it takes a little time to get used to - you are focusing with 2 lenses.
I had nikons 35, 50 and 105 mm
AS for the photo - it was supposed to show that she was removed from all aspects of his life - not that he had a photo of himself - rather that she was removed from the photo - maybe it just wasnt clear enough.
I loved using the adapter but it takes a little time to get used to - you are focusing with 2 lenses.
I had nikons 35, 50 and 105 mm
Kaz
Well-known member
Very interesting film.
But it left me wanting to know WHY that guy wanted to shoot them and WHY the other guy came in to save him and WHY he had to get rid of the girl. There's more questions, and I'm all for using my imagination, but there should be SOME sort of explanation to what's going on!
Of course, if you want to just tell me, it'll definitely help my enjoyment of it.
But it left me wanting to know WHY that guy wanted to shoot them and WHY the other guy came in to save him and WHY he had to get rid of the girl. There's more questions, and I'm all for using my imagination, but there should be SOME sort of explanation to what's going on!
Of course, if you want to just tell me, it'll definitely help my enjoyment of it.
hienben
Well-known member
Interesting story and well executed. I agree with the earlier comments that a little more explanation of the killer and the other guy would have helped. To establish more of an emotional bond between the couple would have been good, you started to do this when the insurance guy erases his memory but I felt some dialogue between the couple would have helped to build this up. Very good work considering you shot over such a short time.
Norm Sanders
Script Wrangler
Hey smelni, sorry for the delay ... you'd already commented on mine a couple days ago, and I JUST watched yours (going alphabetically).
I liked it. Very impressed by some of the FX, and what looks like the use of squibs, etc. The acting was solid, I felt, but the story could have used more. I too was left with too many questions ... right now, there's simply an event we see ... a man was shot, he's healed, and we see his memory has been erased ... but no actual story that I can see.
That said, you did get me to care enough to be disappointed the girl was forever lost ... which is a good thing. Nice job on the editing, camera work, lighting, etc.
Keep it up, and look forward to the next one.
I liked it. Very impressed by some of the FX, and what looks like the use of squibs, etc. The acting was solid, I felt, but the story could have used more. I too was left with too many questions ... right now, there's simply an event we see ... a man was shot, he's healed, and we see his memory has been erased ... but no actual story that I can see.
That said, you did get me to care enough to be disappointed the girl was forever lost ... which is a good thing. Nice job on the editing, camera work, lighting, etc.
Keep it up, and look forward to the next one.
Blaine
Mr. Hollywood
Upon a second viewing I got the feeling I was seeing a clip from a larger project. I think you've got enough of an idea to do a feature length story.
Your "cleaner" had a Tom Waits vibe. His delivery was just a little stilted.
I wished I could be more helpful with my comments but I'm really at a loss with this film. I'll watch it again later.
Your "cleaner" had a Tom Waits vibe. His delivery was just a little stilted.
I wished I could be more helpful with my comments but I'm really at a loss with this film. I'll watch it again later.
EditPhish
Well-known member
Smelni,
One thing you could have done with the photo (because I agree, most men wouldn't have a picture of just themselves framed and on display) -- you could have made it a photo of him, his girlfriend and dog (for example)... then at the end it would just be him and his dog. Add another character, and it becomes more believable.
Some of the acting was a bit fake... and some of the shots were framed and edited awkward... too slow moving. Girl falling (after shot) didn't work for me in slow motion. It felt like you held on certain shots just a bit too long, which threw the pacing off. Going back to the egg shot when the guy in black mentions that the guy shot has a purpose was really out of place for me (and looked like a repeated shot from the beginning).
Others have already metioned continuity issues.
Ultimately, the story also didn't tell me enough. I felt ambivalent about the characters because I didn't know more about them... didn't understand what "his purpose" was, or why it would even be important to erase his memory of the girl. The actual editing of the sequence when his mind is erased also could have been better/tighter... start with slower cuts move to faster cuts... the way it was felt draggy.
Sorry for all the criticisms... I did think it had potential, and could have been much more interesting with really just some tweaking and attention to details. Thanks for sharing your film!
One thing you could have done with the photo (because I agree, most men wouldn't have a picture of just themselves framed and on display) -- you could have made it a photo of him, his girlfriend and dog (for example)... then at the end it would just be him and his dog. Add another character, and it becomes more believable.
Some of the acting was a bit fake... and some of the shots were framed and edited awkward... too slow moving. Girl falling (after shot) didn't work for me in slow motion. It felt like you held on certain shots just a bit too long, which threw the pacing off. Going back to the egg shot when the guy in black mentions that the guy shot has a purpose was really out of place for me (and looked like a repeated shot from the beginning).
Others have already metioned continuity issues.
Ultimately, the story also didn't tell me enough. I felt ambivalent about the characters because I didn't know more about them... didn't understand what "his purpose" was, or why it would even be important to erase his memory of the girl. The actual editing of the sequence when his mind is erased also could have been better/tighter... start with slower cuts move to faster cuts... the way it was felt draggy.
Sorry for all the criticisms... I did think it had potential, and could have been much more interesting with really just some tweaking and attention to details. Thanks for sharing your film!
smelni
Veteran
thanks for the comments - i cant argue with any of them.
I knew that it would seem open ended and was kinda hoping i was telling enough to keep the interest - but i knew everyone would want more.
as for repeated shots - yes there were a couple - i had to shoot this in one night and with all the practical special effect (squibs etc) it was nearly impossible so i had to edit around a whole bunch of issues - overall I did accomplish that but nothing comes without a cost.
again - thanks for the comments very helpful
I knew that it would seem open ended and was kinda hoping i was telling enough to keep the interest - but i knew everyone would want more.
as for repeated shots - yes there were a couple - i had to shoot this in one night and with all the practical special effect (squibs etc) it was nearly impossible so i had to edit around a whole bunch of issues - overall I did accomplish that but nothing comes without a cost.
again - thanks for the comments very helpful
i;d like to trade comments
i really like this film. the only thing that bugged me was the couples acting. when they got shot it didn't capture my attention. they didn't show the pain enough (not that ive gotten shot but i suppose it hurts) also when the main actor on the floor was writhing in pain it became a little repetetive and not convincing enough
i loved the sfx. there were well done and at the same time not over done. could you enlighten us on how you did the healing.
i also dug the insurance actor. he had an ironic undertone which gave him a supernatural feel.
i didn't mind not knowing why he had insurance or what interest the man with the hat had with this man. it added another dimension which kept me watching.
nice job!!!
i really like this film. the only thing that bugged me was the couples acting. when they got shot it didn't capture my attention. they didn't show the pain enough (not that ive gotten shot but i suppose it hurts) also when the main actor on the floor was writhing in pain it became a little repetetive and not convincing enough
i loved the sfx. there were well done and at the same time not over done. could you enlighten us on how you did the healing.
i also dug the insurance actor. he had an ironic undertone which gave him a supernatural feel.
i didn't mind not knowing why he had insurance or what interest the man with the hat had with this man. it added another dimension which kept me watching.
nice job!!!
TimothyJinx
Well-known member
I liked this one pretty well. I agree the acting was not as good as it could be but it's tough to get quality actors sometimes.
I didn't have a problem with not knowing why the couple was shot. Didn't the guy say something about random acts of violence? I think the couple just got murdered in a sensless act of violence but the supernatual character knew the guy was needed for something important in the future.
I also didn't have a problem with the picture because I knew what you were trying to do. But after reading the comment about a guy not having a picture of himself I had to agree. The idea of using the dog in the picture was good.
Overall I think a very good effort - especially within the time constraints you described.
One thing I forgot to mention: it seems like this film along with many others here have the music really loud and the dialog very soft. Several times I have found myself turning my speakers down during intro credits, then turning the volume back up during dialog and then back down again during ending credits. Sorry to post this criticism in your thread since it applies to many of the films.
I didn't have a problem with not knowing why the couple was shot. Didn't the guy say something about random acts of violence? I think the couple just got murdered in a sensless act of violence but the supernatual character knew the guy was needed for something important in the future.
I also didn't have a problem with the picture because I knew what you were trying to do. But after reading the comment about a guy not having a picture of himself I had to agree. The idea of using the dog in the picture was good.
Overall I think a very good effort - especially within the time constraints you described.
One thing I forgot to mention: it seems like this film along with many others here have the music really loud and the dialog very soft. Several times I have found myself turning my speakers down during intro credits, then turning the volume back up during dialog and then back down again during ending credits. Sorry to post this criticism in your thread since it applies to many of the films.
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