SHORT: HawkTeflon Short: "Julie"

Hawk Teflon

Hawk Teflon

Veteran
Hey guys, I recently posted another short we shot last weekend. We shot two. This is the second one. I actually created an entirely new YT channel because of it. It's more of a serious video than the quirky, funny, weird stuff we usually post.

Well, here's Julie:

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I AGREE


I'd love to know what you think. This was our first attempt at anything serious.
 
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I liked it.

I don't have time to say much in detail right now.

The ending was a pleasant surprise - probably the strongest part of the film.

Nice job.
 
Me and Bell just checked it out. It's sweet! I think this was a really good mini-short. Really liked the shots you picked and it looked so good. I like the opening wide of her pulling up in the car. She was a pretty good actress and Webb was okay. Convincing enough. One tid-bit that I saw that was a little distracting (and I'm sure only to me), was the close-up of Julie from behind the tombstone. That was handheld and the only way I could tell was because the tombstone at the bottom of the screen kept moving. I'm sure nobody else will notice that though and it was still a really good shot, so I wouldn't worry about it. The opening dolly shot when she arrives at the tombstone was very nice as well.

The only thing that could have improved on this one (if I'm racking my brain) would have been the acting and like I said, it was good. Julie could have had a little more emotion, but I think if Webb was sad as well or sadder that it would have been fantabulous! As it stands though, it's only fantastic! LOL! Very nice!!
 
I'm only going to comment on sound :-p

For VO: use a softie or foam to prevent the PPPPPPPP and BBBBBBBB sounds

Lot of noise. Maybe a noise canceler could be usefull... But it's a plugin of about..... 2000$ (good one)

You've added steps in sound editing ? I have an unsync feeling...
I think picture/sound differes about 1/4 frame, 1/2 frame... But the steps are unsync for me.


For the end, maybe letting him disappear could give a more "he's gone" feeling ?
 
Hey, I really appreciate you checking it out.

Yeah, we've been trying to work on bettering our audio. I feel this one IS better than our last short (Game Night), but it definitely needs a step up. Thanks for the suggestions man. I'm going to try to nitpick the audio more. We have a shoot Sunday, so maybe the next one will be even better.

I thought about having him disappear, but we had 2 hours to get it all together, and I didn't feel confident greenscreening him there. I've heard bad things about GS and DSLR's, and I wanted to run some tests prior.

Again, thanks for checking it out. I really do appreciate all of the feedback I get here. It's way better than the common "lol" or "gay" comments on YT.
 
Whenever you hear something strange in sound...just stop and check it out...

Checking out sound, searching for disturbing sound sources is NOT a waste of time :-p

This also counts for all other wanna be filmmakers :-p
 
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