A meditation on Fathers. Hit and miss.
I haven’t read any of the previous reviews, so some of this may be familiar to you, John. But, my impressions as I was watching your flick --->
Nice palette, kind of a 70’s vibe, saturated. Dug the opening, off screen dialogue over the graphics was a nice intro. This feels like cinema.
Some of the shots look soft. Although, your frame grab looked way better than this quick time file (for me anyway – damn computer). Would have liked to see a shot of her answering the phone with the kid and Dad playin’ ball in the background - symbolism and all that.
Hmm, acting ? Sorry, but it was pretty weak. For example when his wife says you better take it, her expression and voice say “he’s a jerk ” and you cut to a dramatic push in with the guy all “ holy sh&t”. It didn’t add up, IMHO. Even if it is discordant, it was more a queer anomaly than a cool flourish. Don’t know why but the shot of him standing in front of his Dad looked like a greenscreen. If this is supposed to convey a surreal transition on the way to the resolution, I feel it’s ineffective. However, your composition is classic and love the tension of the center stage compositions for both the father and the son, acting as a amplification of the hesitant reconciliation. The dialogue ? More on that later.
I’ve got American pie and Mom’s home cooking, and kids with painted flags on their faces. Toss in a heartfelt reconciliation with good old Dad and then ???... A Lynchian twist tacked on. Huh? I didn’t buy it. Any version of it. If this was the Dad escaping to this fantasy, then where was the foreshadowing ?, where was the continuity of the two realities ? Or discontinuity for that matter ? Tone is one of the hardest things to do, and it’s even more of a biaatch if you’re trying to use it as THE catalyst for plot and story. Check out “Donnie Darko” to see how subtle but understandable it needs to be…
Sound design was aaight, but considering you did it all yourself last minute; I gotta give you props. Edit : Edgen is one cool mofo.
Script ? The writing was too unconvincing to support whatever premise you were going for. It starts out promising, and then goes off the rails. IMO, this is an actors’ piece or a visual tour de force piece. With the actors’ paradigm, every line has to have subtext or reveal a greater truth. It has to sing with possibility. Without really strong writing, you could aim for visual pageantry, with a lot of thematic context to every image. There were a couple of shots there that were pure Americana, and foretold a story that was in the hands of a guy who got it. Unfortunately, the rest didn’t live up to that promise. Thus, we’re left with confusing aesthetic signals and ineffective acting. Even an abstract world has to adhere to a logic of sorts, and this didn’t come across to me. When you’re trying to juggle multiple realities your dancing on the high wire, so to you it may seem completely understandable, but to the audience you have to signal (even if it’s subtle) with almost all of the arsenal of film making. That’s why this subject matter is really only done well by a few directors. Lynch is a master for a reason – he uses sound, or visuals to give hints to the audience so that the abstraction and altered realities that follow have their own internal logic .Your effort here is admirable.
Directing here was very strong. Whatever you’ve been studying shows – you slowed down the pacing and editing, concentrating on form and function within the frame.
I see compositions adding meaning to the visuals instead of being a mere conduit to getting from A->B. Pace, editing, shot selection (particularly around transitions) are well thought out, except that they required a finer calibration. When you were going from reality to reality (as the audience sees it) it’s a tough trick to be leading the audience subconsciously to a conclusion while maintaining their suspension of disbelief, but a necessary one. You gave it a shot, but didn’t real pull the bunny from the hat. A part of that was sound design. Check out any altered reality flicks and sound design is integral to cluing the audience in (even if you want to surprise them later). Knowing your time limit on this I can understand, but the audience doesn’t care if you had two days or two months to make a flick.
Gratuitous advice time.
Like I’ve told you before; you’re a director who’s got a lot of promise, but this short has shown me : 1) You may want to look into adaptable material. Ideally, I’d see you adapt an Elmore Leonard, or a Paul Mayersburg (“Croupier”) piece 2) you really have to find solid actors if you want to have dialogue carry much of the flicks theme. If going for a pure visual trip, get Mac to DP and get his number for the synth-mood soundtracks + sound design Lynch-vibe…
I didn’t really expect this kind of a flick from you. But I’m happy you did it, even if it’s a miss IMHO. One of the maxims I strive for is to always be swinging for the fences. F the consequences. Recently, I read something by Joe Carnahan where he said he wants to be the kind of director who never makes the same picture twice. I concur with that sentiment, and am glad to see you’re on the bandwagon. With this flick you seem to be accomplishing it in your own way.
to be honest i'm glad you're branching out. I'd rather see you explore all of film country than stay on the ranch. Even if you find a voice and stick with specific material, these shorts wil be the foundation for a true filmmaker, and not a hack.
:beer:
I haven’t read any of the previous reviews, so some of this may be familiar to you, John. But, my impressions as I was watching your flick --->
Nice palette, kind of a 70’s vibe, saturated. Dug the opening, off screen dialogue over the graphics was a nice intro. This feels like cinema.
Some of the shots look soft. Although, your frame grab looked way better than this quick time file (for me anyway – damn computer). Would have liked to see a shot of her answering the phone with the kid and Dad playin’ ball in the background - symbolism and all that.
Hmm, acting ? Sorry, but it was pretty weak. For example when his wife says you better take it, her expression and voice say “he’s a jerk ” and you cut to a dramatic push in with the guy all “ holy sh&t”. It didn’t add up, IMHO. Even if it is discordant, it was more a queer anomaly than a cool flourish. Don’t know why but the shot of him standing in front of his Dad looked like a greenscreen. If this is supposed to convey a surreal transition on the way to the resolution, I feel it’s ineffective. However, your composition is classic and love the tension of the center stage compositions for both the father and the son, acting as a amplification of the hesitant reconciliation. The dialogue ? More on that later.
I’ve got American pie and Mom’s home cooking, and kids with painted flags on their faces. Toss in a heartfelt reconciliation with good old Dad and then ???... A Lynchian twist tacked on. Huh? I didn’t buy it. Any version of it. If this was the Dad escaping to this fantasy, then where was the foreshadowing ?, where was the continuity of the two realities ? Or discontinuity for that matter ? Tone is one of the hardest things to do, and it’s even more of a biaatch if you’re trying to use it as THE catalyst for plot and story. Check out “Donnie Darko” to see how subtle but understandable it needs to be…
Sound design was aaight, but considering you did it all yourself last minute; I gotta give you props. Edit : Edgen is one cool mofo.
Script ? The writing was too unconvincing to support whatever premise you were going for. It starts out promising, and then goes off the rails. IMO, this is an actors’ piece or a visual tour de force piece. With the actors’ paradigm, every line has to have subtext or reveal a greater truth. It has to sing with possibility. Without really strong writing, you could aim for visual pageantry, with a lot of thematic context to every image. There were a couple of shots there that were pure Americana, and foretold a story that was in the hands of a guy who got it. Unfortunately, the rest didn’t live up to that promise. Thus, we’re left with confusing aesthetic signals and ineffective acting. Even an abstract world has to adhere to a logic of sorts, and this didn’t come across to me. When you’re trying to juggle multiple realities your dancing on the high wire, so to you it may seem completely understandable, but to the audience you have to signal (even if it’s subtle) with almost all of the arsenal of film making. That’s why this subject matter is really only done well by a few directors. Lynch is a master for a reason – he uses sound, or visuals to give hints to the audience so that the abstraction and altered realities that follow have their own internal logic .Your effort here is admirable.
Directing here was very strong. Whatever you’ve been studying shows – you slowed down the pacing and editing, concentrating on form and function within the frame.
I see compositions adding meaning to the visuals instead of being a mere conduit to getting from A->B. Pace, editing, shot selection (particularly around transitions) are well thought out, except that they required a finer calibration. When you were going from reality to reality (as the audience sees it) it’s a tough trick to be leading the audience subconsciously to a conclusion while maintaining their suspension of disbelief, but a necessary one. You gave it a shot, but didn’t real pull the bunny from the hat. A part of that was sound design. Check out any altered reality flicks and sound design is integral to cluing the audience in (even if you want to surprise them later). Knowing your time limit on this I can understand, but the audience doesn’t care if you had two days or two months to make a flick.
Gratuitous advice time.
Like I’ve told you before; you’re a director who’s got a lot of promise, but this short has shown me : 1) You may want to look into adaptable material. Ideally, I’d see you adapt an Elmore Leonard, or a Paul Mayersburg (“Croupier”) piece 2) you really have to find solid actors if you want to have dialogue carry much of the flicks theme. If going for a pure visual trip, get Mac to DP and get his number for the synth-mood soundtracks + sound design Lynch-vibe…
I didn’t really expect this kind of a flick from you. But I’m happy you did it, even if it’s a miss IMHO. One of the maxims I strive for is to always be swinging for the fences. F the consequences. Recently, I read something by Joe Carnahan where he said he wants to be the kind of director who never makes the same picture twice. I concur with that sentiment, and am glad to see you’re on the bandwagon. With this flick you seem to be accomplishing it in your own way.
to be honest i'm glad you're branching out. I'd rather see you explore all of film country than stay on the ranch. Even if you find a voice and stick with specific material, these shorts wil be the foundation for a true filmmaker, and not a hack.
:beer:
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