"Dead Inside" - prezorg
- Thread starter prezorg
- Start date
Out of town until Tuesday
Out of town until Tuesday
Hello everyone, my film isn’t even uploaded yet, but I wanted to get an early start. I am going to New York for five days on vacation visiting one of my friends who just moved out there. (Actually he played “Hort” in this film, and is pursuing a career in acting.)
Unfortunately, I am not sure I am going to get any internet access between now and next Tuesday. But I look forward to logging on upon coming back, and then hopefully my film will be uploaded, and if anyone has commented yet on my short, then I will begin reading the posts, responding, etc.
Thank you for giving my film a look, and I can’t wait to view each and every other film that is a part of this wonderful festival. Talk to you all soon.
~Ian
Out of town until Tuesday
Hello everyone, my film isn’t even uploaded yet, but I wanted to get an early start. I am going to New York for five days on vacation visiting one of my friends who just moved out there. (Actually he played “Hort” in this film, and is pursuing a career in acting.)
Unfortunately, I am not sure I am going to get any internet access between now and next Tuesday. But I look forward to logging on upon coming back, and then hopefully my film will be uploaded, and if anyone has commented yet on my short, then I will begin reading the posts, responding, etc.
Thank you for giving my film a look, and I can’t wait to view each and every other film that is a part of this wonderful festival. Talk to you all soon.
~Ian
MojoTrancer
Well-known member
Just watched it. A very human story. I liked it a lot. Your film has some of the best acting of all the entries so far. I was moved. Excellent job.
mikkowilson
Steadi-Guru
WOW!
Another fantastic entry!
Great story - perfect for length, nothign rushed, nothing stretched. Very emitional too, and VERY well realized.
Teachnical qaulity was bang on too, as was acting and the score.
If I have to critique something it woudl be: the blood wasn't dark enoguh red, and the cloths used over the tabel and chair base didn't look great in the VR room.
I loved it, very very hgih on my list.
- Mikko
Another fantastic entry!
Great story - perfect for length, nothign rushed, nothing stretched. Very emitional too, and VERY well realized.
Teachnical qaulity was bang on too, as was acting and the score.
If I have to critique something it woudl be: the blood wasn't dark enoguh red, and the cloths used over the tabel and chair base didn't look great in the VR room.
I loved it, very very hgih on my list.
- Mikko
Jared Meyer
Veteran
Nice job! One of my favorites so far. I was pretty "into" the story right from the start (don't think I've ever seen this concept played out before) and it held me to the ending, which really put everything into context nicely.
I was very slightly distracted by the office set, (as Mikko mentioned) which seemed a tad too pedestrian. Also, the final shots might have been a little too shaky? Other than, that, I loved it. Congrats!
I was very slightly distracted by the office set, (as Mikko mentioned) which seemed a tad too pedestrian. Also, the final shots might have been a little too shaky? Other than, that, I loved it. Congrats!
Blaine
Mr. Hollywood
I REALLY liked what you did here. This is something different, something to think about. You got some really nice images. The acting was very good. My ONLY complaint with this was the herky-jerky motion of Denise's death scene. It was a little disorienting and pulled me out of an otherwise great show. Damned fine job!
angrynerdrock07
Well-known member
Nice piece. I liked the concept and the acting was probably one of the best of all the shorts. A few criticisms: One was that the dialogue from the doctor seemed like ADR to me and yet when Hort is talking it sounds like audio from on-set. That was kind of a distraction. Also the scenes where the camera is shaking in the dream and death sequences, I felt like it was a little overdone. It actually made me very aware of the camera at that moment and kind of pulled me out of the emotion. I see what you were going for and definately think it could have worked if it was toned down just a bit.
Blaine
Mr. Hollywood
After seeing everything and now going over some of my favorites again, I've got to say that I felt your's was one of the best in this festival. Your acting was very good and I loved the score. Again, the only real negative was the handheld stuff in Denise's death scene. Without that I could easily see this having a shot at the top spot. (Based of course on what's on the screen) I really liked your screenplay. Again, one of the three or four best.
EditPhish
Well-known member
Hi Ian,
This one certainly deserves a little more attention than it seems to be getting. I think you told a great story, the perfect length, leaving viewers with something to think about.
Your lighting was excellent and I liked the cinematography. Only criticisms was that it was a little TOO shakey in the accident scene. I realize you were going for frantic and some shake it okay, it just got a little too much at times.
There were some sound issues in the flashback that were distracting (wind on mic), and the blood wasn't quite dark enough to look real. This is an important scene, so I think you need a good showing all around to make it really work the best it can. The sounds issues, shakiness and blood took away from the scene's impact.
The acting was good... and I felt for him... I was pulled into the story and interested all the way through... the six minutes flew by. Like I said, you did a great job making a great short film.
Thanks so much for sharing it with all of us!
This one certainly deserves a little more attention than it seems to be getting. I think you told a great story, the perfect length, leaving viewers with something to think about.
Your lighting was excellent and I liked the cinematography. Only criticisms was that it was a little TOO shakey in the accident scene. I realize you were going for frantic and some shake it okay, it just got a little too much at times.
There were some sound issues in the flashback that were distracting (wind on mic), and the blood wasn't quite dark enough to look real. This is an important scene, so I think you need a good showing all around to make it really work the best it can. The sounds issues, shakiness and blood took away from the scene's impact.
The acting was good... and I felt for him... I was pulled into the story and interested all the way through... the six minutes flew by. Like I said, you did a great job making a great short film.
Thanks so much for sharing it with all of us!
Norm Sanders
Script Wrangler
As far as this getting enough attention or not, I'm sure it's just a timing issue, and more will come. I JUST watched this, and we're now like day three into the festival judging, and I still have at least 15-20 more to watch & review ... so it's taking people a while to get through them all.
That said, I loved this. It was very emotional, very human, and very moving. There were a couple parts where I felt the acting could have come up to the level it was usually at (quite good) ... in other words, a couple small parts I felt it dropped ... like a phrase here, a look there, etc. Otherwise, spot on.
Some of the camera work was exceptional, though the lighting could have improved in spots. I was especially impressed with the all white room. Where'd you do that, or how did you do it? Nice touch allowing the doctor to see what WE were seeing on the screen.
My biggest gripe with this, and it's a small one, is the blood at the end. If it's a head wouldn, which is insinuated, then it would be DARK red ... on the verge of black. I mean head wounds are nasty DEEP DARK red ... not the lighter pink that was on the pavement.
Someone said above that this was well timed, and didn't feel rushed. Indeed. This is the only film I've seen so far that appeared to be PERFECTLY timed for an entire story. There was nothing that left me questioning what happened before or after. There was perfect closure. It's as if the existance of six minutes was made for this film. (there's a quote for your DVD cover!)
Seriously, scored among the highest on my chart.
That said, I loved this. It was very emotional, very human, and very moving. There were a couple parts where I felt the acting could have come up to the level it was usually at (quite good) ... in other words, a couple small parts I felt it dropped ... like a phrase here, a look there, etc. Otherwise, spot on.
Some of the camera work was exceptional, though the lighting could have improved in spots. I was especially impressed with the all white room. Where'd you do that, or how did you do it? Nice touch allowing the doctor to see what WE were seeing on the screen.
My biggest gripe with this, and it's a small one, is the blood at the end. If it's a head wouldn, which is insinuated, then it would be DARK red ... on the verge of black. I mean head wounds are nasty DEEP DARK red ... not the lighter pink that was on the pavement.
Someone said above that this was well timed, and didn't feel rushed. Indeed. This is the only film I've seen so far that appeared to be PERFECTLY timed for an entire story. There was nothing that left me questioning what happened before or after. There was perfect closure. It's as if the existance of six minutes was made for this film. (there's a quote for your DVD cover!)
Seriously, scored among the highest on my chart.
Dead Inside
Dead Inside
A coiple of minor points and I mean minor because this film is one of the most watchable ones in the fest.
Your credits look cheap. Their too big and they don't match the quality and style of your film. However minor your credits/font is a part of your entry and I wish they fit better.
The high shutter speed bugged me at the end. I don't mind shakey HH stuff but the high shutter speed was too abrupt for the rest of your film.
Other than that, well done all around.
Kip Kubin
Dead Inside
A coiple of minor points and I mean minor because this film is one of the most watchable ones in the fest.
Your credits look cheap. Their too big and they don't match the quality and style of your film. However minor your credits/font is a part of your entry and I wish they fit better.
The high shutter speed bugged me at the end. I don't mind shakey HH stuff but the high shutter speed was too abrupt for the rest of your film.
Other than that, well done all around.
Kip Kubin
Adr
Adr
-good catch.
Both the doctor and hort where recorded via ADR. (with the exception of the outside death scene being live audio from a shotgun.) There were two differences that my be the problem:
1. The younger actors where just a little quicker/sharper at the ADR then the doctor was. In otherwords, the doctor for some lines got close enough, but not perfect.
2. I recorded in two different ways/locations. The doctor was in a booth with a studio mic, and then the younger actors at a later date were in a studio with a lav mic. The mics do sound slightly different.
For future viewings/festivals I might want to EQ the docs voice to sound more like the Lav's. Or maybe I'll just keep stuff like that in mind for the next project.
At any rate I just got back from vaction and look forward to responding more to some of the other comments I have recieved. They are all super helpful. I plan on making at least another short this year, and may want to fine tune this one for further festival placement.
I would respond more now, but I have a lot of these films that I am anxious to dig into. I plan on watching all of them through once, before re-watching and commenting in the specific individual film discussions.
Thanks everyone, And I'll be talking to all of you soon.
~Ian
Adr
angrynerdrock07 said:
-good catch.
Both the doctor and hort where recorded via ADR. (with the exception of the outside death scene being live audio from a shotgun.) There were two differences that my be the problem:
1. The younger actors where just a little quicker/sharper at the ADR then the doctor was. In otherwords, the doctor for some lines got close enough, but not perfect.
2. I recorded in two different ways/locations. The doctor was in a booth with a studio mic, and then the younger actors at a later date were in a studio with a lav mic. The mics do sound slightly different.
For future viewings/festivals I might want to EQ the docs voice to sound more like the Lav's. Or maybe I'll just keep stuff like that in mind for the next project.
At any rate I just got back from vaction and look forward to responding more to some of the other comments I have recieved. They are all super helpful. I plan on making at least another short this year, and may want to fine tune this one for further festival placement.
I would respond more now, but I have a lot of these films that I am anxious to dig into. I plan on watching all of them through once, before re-watching and commenting in the specific individual film discussions.
Thanks everyone, And I'll be talking to all of you soon.
~Ian
Hey, just watched this one, and I was very impressed. Your lead actor in was really good, and the acting all around was above average. I liked the story, and I think it played itself out very naturally. I did notice the difference in dialogue levels and ambience, but as a non-techie I think that's my biggest complaint. A very solid piece, and I sure hope it scores better than the response here indicates!
conrad_johnson
Well-known member
Hi - I was excited at first - with the name "Dead Inside" and the two young kids going at it, I thought this was going to be one of those 'abstinence until married' movies they show you in junior high where the boyfriend and girlfriend go all the way, then they become "dead inside", start having promiscuous sex with everyone on the football team and get herpes.
Despite my disappointment that this wasn't about science fiction syphilis, this was a nice short. For a sci-fi it still felt true to the present, and so easy to identify with the emotions of the story. I also liked the shot you chose to end on.
It was shot pretty well and lighting was pretty good. Music I didn't like so much - it was very drab, and didn't seem to in any way accentuate the storyline. Lead actor was good. The sound was so-so, but you've addressed that already. Ooh - and it looked like the actress was lying in a pool of her own pepto-bismol at the end Good job!
Despite my disappointment that this wasn't about science fiction syphilis, this was a nice short. For a sci-fi it still felt true to the present, and so easy to identify with the emotions of the story. I also liked the shot you chose to end on.
It was shot pretty well and lighting was pretty good. Music I didn't like so much - it was very drab, and didn't seem to in any way accentuate the storyline. Lead actor was good. The sound was so-so, but you've addressed that already. Ooh - and it looked like the actress was lying in a pool of her own pepto-bismol at the end
Good job!conrad_johnson said:Ooh - and it looked like the actress was lying in a pool of her own pepto-bismol at the end
That made me laugh. Then sorta wince when I realized it was about my film. Then I laughed again at how funny it sounds when you say it out loud. I definately am not 100% happy with the blood. I am considering doing some serious post work to tweak it, but It comes off more purplely red than pink as far as I can tell. Their are some shots where the blood is reflecting the color of the sky, and the reflected sky looks pinkish. Maybe that is what people are seeing. Had my zombie fest DVD come in the mail a little sooner, I may have done a much better job. (it arrived after I wrapped shooting.)
Anyway, I appreciate all the feedback, and I am looking into the STD thing for my next short.
~Ian
conrad_johnson
Well-known member
prezorg said:That made me laugh. Then sorta wince when I realized it was about my film. Then I laughed again at how funny it sounds when you say it out loud. I definately am not 100% happy with the blood. I am considering doing some serious post work to tweak it, but It comes off more purplely red than pink as far as I can tell. Their are some shots where the blood is reflecting the color of the sky, and the reflected sky looks pinkish. Maybe that is what people are seeing. Had my zombie fest DVD come in the mail a little sooner, I may have done a much better job. (it arrived after I wrapped shooting.)
Anyway, I appreciate all the feedback, and I am looking into the STD thing for my next short.
~Ian
No worries - I've seen much worse than bad blood out there!
You'll have to keep us apprised of your progress on the STD movie. That's definitely uncharted territory.
Shaky Camera made worse with codec. . .
Shaky Camera made worse with codec. . .
I have been hearing a lot of the comments on the shaky cam, and up until now I thought it was just a difference of opinion. I watched my movie serveral times after reading some of the responses, and thought the shaky cam was more of a way to show chaos and emotions running high in a sort of Saving Private Ryan D-Day type of way.
I was just now watching through some of the shorts on the scifest4 zip file, and decided to watch my own. The shaky cam does look bad on the WMV version of my short. I was distracted by it too!! It's strange cause even though I shot it intentionally shaky at the fastest shutter speed, the full rez DVD version doesn't bother me. Somehow the compression or codec amplifies it. Even the characters in the VR room look stuttery when they walk, so you can imagine what it is doing to an already shaky scene.
Kinda makes me feel all not warm and not fuzzy. Hope you guys check out the full rez version when the fest DVD comes out.
Shaky Camera made worse with codec. . .
Blaine said:My ONLY complaint with this was the herky-jerky motion of Denise's death scene. It was a little disorienting and pulled me out of an otherwise great show.
I have been hearing a lot of the comments on the shaky cam, and up until now I thought it was just a difference of opinion. I watched my movie serveral times after reading some of the responses, and thought the shaky cam was more of a way to show chaos and emotions running high in a sort of Saving Private Ryan D-Day type of way.
I was just now watching through some of the shorts on the scifest4 zip file, and decided to watch my own. The shaky cam does look bad on the WMV version of my short. I was distracted by it too!! It's strange cause even though I shot it intentionally shaky at the fastest shutter speed, the full rez DVD version doesn't bother me. Somehow the compression or codec amplifies it. Even the characters in the VR room look stuttery when they walk, so you can imagine what it is doing to an already shaky scene.
Kinda makes me feel all not warm and not fuzzy. Hope you guys check out the full rez version when the fest DVD comes out.
EJ Pennypacker
Well-known member
Emotional.
A very nice concept.
This deserves to do well.
The only problem I had with the story - was the girl committing suicide or was it an accident? I know she committed suicide, but it so looked like an accident. Or was it an accident?
Thank you for making this.
EJ
A very nice concept.
This deserves to do well.
The only problem I had with the story - was the girl committing suicide or was it an accident? I know she committed suicide, but it so looked like an accident. Or was it an accident?
Thank you for making this.
EJ
Last edited:
EJ Pennypacker said:
My original intent was for Denise to die because of an accident. The emotional distress from the argument with Hort distracts her and she is not fully aware of her surroundings. The idea being it happens in a parking lot, somewhere where you aren't as worried about getting hit by cars. It also is the type of accident where I would guess it was how she landed on the pavement that killed her, and not really the impact from the car.
But if anyone thinks that it is more powerful for her to have committed suicide, then that is certainly open to interpretation. I think both could be quite powerful for different reasons.
Thank you everyone for the continued feedback!
~Ian